Title: Wanting
Author: IDreamOfAJ
Characters: Leo, CJ/Ron (But the others are in there somewhere.)
Spoilers: Lord John Marbury
Rating: PG-13 (mild language)
Summary: He wants many things.
Author's Note: This one was hard to write. I don't think I got it the way I wanted. But, it's hard for me to write Leo because most of his best emotion is expressed through his eyes, his body language. This was the best I could do.
Also, from here on out, we're just going to have to pretend that CJ isn't kissing Danny. I can only do so much to make her flirting with Danny plausible. But, the kiss in He Shall From Time To Time just doesn't help, you know? (Even though it was a lovely kiss. ; ) )
Thanks to everyone who's still following this!
Follows "Wondering".
For Angie - who's inner CJ could take my inner Leo's snakes at any time.
Disclaimers: These characters belong to someone else. Not really sure who now... but I know it's not me.
Feedback: Is like "a little Easter treat, just for me".
Wanting
He wants many things. He feels the weight on his chest of the things he needs most. But, he knows he won't get them all. Maybe not any. It doesn't stop the wanting any less.
Sitting at his desk waiting to be called into the Oval, he makes a list in his head of the things he wants. In order of importance.
His marriage. To spare Jenny and Mallory the upcoming onslaught. To protect the President. For Lord Fauntleroy to go back to wherever it was he came from. For India and Pakistan to get over it. To be able to show his staff how much their support means. To know what the hell is going on with CJ and the rest of them.
Leo can't get his marriage back. He knows that. He also knows he can't protect his family from his prior sins. He's gonna talk to the President about an exit strategy that he's had worked out since before Christmas. Which is the best thing he can do to protect his best friend. Marbury's here at the President's pleasure so there's nothing he can do about that. And it's not really up to him to sort out India and Pakistan. He can't see himself giving hugs to the staff, so they're just gonna have to figure out how proud he is of them. But, he can sit here and think about CJ and the strange vibe between her and the others.
They should have told her about India invading Kashmir. It was a mistake to let her go in there unprepared. He knows Toby took the blame. It wasn't all Toby. He had been brusque with her when he'd told her the next morning. He knew she'd be hurt. He was proud of her though. She didn't bitch and moan. She gave a few shots, but that was to be expected. And she went back to work. He knows Toby talked to her. He knows Sam didn't, thinking it showed he valued her professionalism. He's not sure if Josh talked to her. Maybe. But, Josh has been busy the last two days. Her credibility with the press was hurt. And he'll take responsibility for that. But, she's getting too close. Especially to Danny. The guy gave her a fish for crying out loud. They can't be friends with the press. She can't.
He's heard the rumors. Of course he has. Margaret loves gossip. He knows that CJ went to dinner with Danny. He knows that Danny's asked her out a dozen times. CJ should know better. If she's so damned concerned with her professionalism and her credibility why would she put herself in that position? She should know better.
But, Leo muses, she should know better than to bother the Secret Service with her personal problems. And that didn't seem to stop her. He had almost killed her. He had gone to the mess for a quick lunch. Margaret had disappeared and the other assistants wouldn't know what to get if they were out of egg salad. So, he had gone down himself. He had just left the staircase when he saw Josh and Sam slowly backing towards the stairs from the corridor. He was about to ask them just what in the hell it was they thought they were doing when they turned. And he heard CJ's voice raised. He couldn't make out exactly what she was saying but he had an idea. She was pissed. She was venting, he knew. Probably to Toby. Except he had seen Toby on the way down here. Leo had opened his mouth and closed it. Sam and Josh looked guilty. They had looked at each other and back to Leo. Josh's whispers that they were on their way upstairs only fueled Leo's suspicion. But, he had been distracted by another exclamation from CJ. And then it was too late. Josh and Sam had been practically bounding up the stairs. They had looked... uncomfortable. That was it. They must have not wanted to be around when he laid into CJ.
Leo had switched directions and headed into the corridor where he'd heard CJ. There she had been. With Ron Butterfield. Her voice had been lowered so that he couldn't hear what she was saying. But, she had been jabbing the air between her and Ron. Leo had been mad as hell. How dare she run crying to the Secret Service. And what the hell did they have to do with any of this? He had just been ready to make his presence known when he had seen something quite unusual. Ron had grabbed CJ's gesturing arm. With his other hand he had run up and down the length of it. His head was bent close to CJ so that his mouth was almost touching CJ's ear. And in an instant, CJ had calmed down. Leo had seen the anger leave almost as surely as if it had been a physical thing. He watched as CJ had stepped an inch closer to Ron. And then she had shaken her head. And smiled. And Leo had gotten the hell out of there.
He was still disappointed that they'd been out of egg salad. But, he's more curious as to what he had witnessed. He wonders if Josh and Sam had been uncomfortable because they thought he would have yelled at CJ. Or had they been unnerved the way he had at seeing CJ and Ron? No. They hadn't seemed surprised. More like they were afraid of being caught. But that doesn't make sense either.
"Margaret!"
He waits a minute. And when she doesn't open the door he realizes that she must have disappeared again. Damn, but that woman would be the death of him someday. He wants a drink. Knows he can't have one. Decides that maybe a piece of cake will help. He knows it won't. But, he didn't have much for lunch. And a drink is not an option. Ever again.
He's retrieved a slice of chocolate cake and he's on his way to the stairs when he hears footsteps. One set of heels at least. He turns, but the footsteps have stopped. He can't for the life of him understand why he feels compelled to stop. To turn back to the other corridor, to see who it was. He already knows, somewhere, that it's CJ. He thinks he'd like to apologize. But as he comes around the corner, he sees that she's not alone. She's with Ron. Again.
This time her shoulders are slightly hunched. She's looking at the floor. She's nodding. Ron is whispering in her ear again. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. The moment is too intimate for Leo to remain. He steps backwards, rolling his eyes as he realizes he's mimicking Sam's and Josh's earlier movements. Just as he's out of their line of sight he hears Ron's voice. Much louder than necessary.
"CJ, he's a good man. You guys will help him. They won't beat him. Not like this."
As he slowly walks up the stairs he wonders if that last part was meant for him. If maybe at least Ron had known he was there. He shakes his head.
"Remember the battles you've fought and won." The President had told him that a few hours ago. He's thinking about battles all right. But, not the ones behind. The ones in front. He's thinking about the press asking Mallory about her dad's addiction to pills. He's wondering how strong Zoey and Charlie will be if they do go out and there are photos. With letters that follow. And he's thinking about CJ's fight to regain credibility. And to keep her private life private.
He realizes now why she had dinner with Danny. This thing with Ron must be new. She doesn't want people to know. He wonders if she realizes that people already do know. Or at least suspect. Wants to tell her that she needs a better cover. He hopes this works out for her. Hopes she doesn't ever realize what exactly Ron's job entails. Wishes he could tell her he's sorry. He's proud of her. He's happy for her.
There's a soft knock at the door. CJ pops her head in.
"Leo?"
"Yeah, c'mon in, CJ."
"I'm gonna let them know that the President met with the ambassadors for India and Pakistan. And that Lord Marbury is here. Anything else you want me to say before I call the lid?"
"No, that's good. Just don't let them get you into a discussion about possible nuclear capabilities. That's gonna... ."
"I know Leo. I know. I... I won't. Anything else?"
"Naw."
She's almost out the door.
"CJ?"
"Yeah?"
"Never mind."
She nods her head once.
"Okay."
She's gone. He thinks she understood. That he wanted to say more. To say that he was sorry. That he was proud. That her support earlier meant something to him. He wants to believe that she knows.
He wants many things. He's made the list already. And that hasn't helped. It hasn't achieved any of those things. Or even gotten him closer. So, Leo is left wanting.
The End
Author: IDreamOfAJ
Characters: Leo, CJ/Ron (But the others are in there somewhere.)
Spoilers: Lord John Marbury
Rating: PG-13 (mild language)
Summary: He wants many things.
Author's Note: This one was hard to write. I don't think I got it the way I wanted. But, it's hard for me to write Leo because most of his best emotion is expressed through his eyes, his body language. This was the best I could do.
Also, from here on out, we're just going to have to pretend that CJ isn't kissing Danny. I can only do so much to make her flirting with Danny plausible. But, the kiss in He Shall From Time To Time just doesn't help, you know? (Even though it was a lovely kiss. ; ) )
Thanks to everyone who's still following this!
Follows "Wondering".
For Angie - who's inner CJ could take my inner Leo's snakes at any time.
Disclaimers: These characters belong to someone else. Not really sure who now... but I know it's not me.
Feedback: Is like "a little Easter treat, just for me".
Wanting
He wants many things. He feels the weight on his chest of the things he needs most. But, he knows he won't get them all. Maybe not any. It doesn't stop the wanting any less.
Sitting at his desk waiting to be called into the Oval, he makes a list in his head of the things he wants. In order of importance.
His marriage. To spare Jenny and Mallory the upcoming onslaught. To protect the President. For Lord Fauntleroy to go back to wherever it was he came from. For India and Pakistan to get over it. To be able to show his staff how much their support means. To know what the hell is going on with CJ and the rest of them.
Leo can't get his marriage back. He knows that. He also knows he can't protect his family from his prior sins. He's gonna talk to the President about an exit strategy that he's had worked out since before Christmas. Which is the best thing he can do to protect his best friend. Marbury's here at the President's pleasure so there's nothing he can do about that. And it's not really up to him to sort out India and Pakistan. He can't see himself giving hugs to the staff, so they're just gonna have to figure out how proud he is of them. But, he can sit here and think about CJ and the strange vibe between her and the others.
They should have told her about India invading Kashmir. It was a mistake to let her go in there unprepared. He knows Toby took the blame. It wasn't all Toby. He had been brusque with her when he'd told her the next morning. He knew she'd be hurt. He was proud of her though. She didn't bitch and moan. She gave a few shots, but that was to be expected. And she went back to work. He knows Toby talked to her. He knows Sam didn't, thinking it showed he valued her professionalism. He's not sure if Josh talked to her. Maybe. But, Josh has been busy the last two days. Her credibility with the press was hurt. And he'll take responsibility for that. But, she's getting too close. Especially to Danny. The guy gave her a fish for crying out loud. They can't be friends with the press. She can't.
He's heard the rumors. Of course he has. Margaret loves gossip. He knows that CJ went to dinner with Danny. He knows that Danny's asked her out a dozen times. CJ should know better. If she's so damned concerned with her professionalism and her credibility why would she put herself in that position? She should know better.
But, Leo muses, she should know better than to bother the Secret Service with her personal problems. And that didn't seem to stop her. He had almost killed her. He had gone to the mess for a quick lunch. Margaret had disappeared and the other assistants wouldn't know what to get if they were out of egg salad. So, he had gone down himself. He had just left the staircase when he saw Josh and Sam slowly backing towards the stairs from the corridor. He was about to ask them just what in the hell it was they thought they were doing when they turned. And he heard CJ's voice raised. He couldn't make out exactly what she was saying but he had an idea. She was pissed. She was venting, he knew. Probably to Toby. Except he had seen Toby on the way down here. Leo had opened his mouth and closed it. Sam and Josh looked guilty. They had looked at each other and back to Leo. Josh's whispers that they were on their way upstairs only fueled Leo's suspicion. But, he had been distracted by another exclamation from CJ. And then it was too late. Josh and Sam had been practically bounding up the stairs. They had looked... uncomfortable. That was it. They must have not wanted to be around when he laid into CJ.
Leo had switched directions and headed into the corridor where he'd heard CJ. There she had been. With Ron Butterfield. Her voice had been lowered so that he couldn't hear what she was saying. But, she had been jabbing the air between her and Ron. Leo had been mad as hell. How dare she run crying to the Secret Service. And what the hell did they have to do with any of this? He had just been ready to make his presence known when he had seen something quite unusual. Ron had grabbed CJ's gesturing arm. With his other hand he had run up and down the length of it. His head was bent close to CJ so that his mouth was almost touching CJ's ear. And in an instant, CJ had calmed down. Leo had seen the anger leave almost as surely as if it had been a physical thing. He watched as CJ had stepped an inch closer to Ron. And then she had shaken her head. And smiled. And Leo had gotten the hell out of there.
He was still disappointed that they'd been out of egg salad. But, he's more curious as to what he had witnessed. He wonders if Josh and Sam had been uncomfortable because they thought he would have yelled at CJ. Or had they been unnerved the way he had at seeing CJ and Ron? No. They hadn't seemed surprised. More like they were afraid of being caught. But that doesn't make sense either.
"Margaret!"
He waits a minute. And when she doesn't open the door he realizes that she must have disappeared again. Damn, but that woman would be the death of him someday. He wants a drink. Knows he can't have one. Decides that maybe a piece of cake will help. He knows it won't. But, he didn't have much for lunch. And a drink is not an option. Ever again.
He's retrieved a slice of chocolate cake and he's on his way to the stairs when he hears footsteps. One set of heels at least. He turns, but the footsteps have stopped. He can't for the life of him understand why he feels compelled to stop. To turn back to the other corridor, to see who it was. He already knows, somewhere, that it's CJ. He thinks he'd like to apologize. But as he comes around the corner, he sees that she's not alone. She's with Ron. Again.
This time her shoulders are slightly hunched. She's looking at the floor. She's nodding. Ron is whispering in her ear again. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. The moment is too intimate for Leo to remain. He steps backwards, rolling his eyes as he realizes he's mimicking Sam's and Josh's earlier movements. Just as he's out of their line of sight he hears Ron's voice. Much louder than necessary.
"CJ, he's a good man. You guys will help him. They won't beat him. Not like this."
As he slowly walks up the stairs he wonders if that last part was meant for him. If maybe at least Ron had known he was there. He shakes his head.
"Remember the battles you've fought and won." The President had told him that a few hours ago. He's thinking about battles all right. But, not the ones behind. The ones in front. He's thinking about the press asking Mallory about her dad's addiction to pills. He's wondering how strong Zoey and Charlie will be if they do go out and there are photos. With letters that follow. And he's thinking about CJ's fight to regain credibility. And to keep her private life private.
He realizes now why she had dinner with Danny. This thing with Ron must be new. She doesn't want people to know. He wonders if she realizes that people already do know. Or at least suspect. Wants to tell her that she needs a better cover. He hopes this works out for her. Hopes she doesn't ever realize what exactly Ron's job entails. Wishes he could tell her he's sorry. He's proud of her. He's happy for her.
There's a soft knock at the door. CJ pops her head in.
"Leo?"
"Yeah, c'mon in, CJ."
"I'm gonna let them know that the President met with the ambassadors for India and Pakistan. And that Lord Marbury is here. Anything else you want me to say before I call the lid?"
"No, that's good. Just don't let them get you into a discussion about possible nuclear capabilities. That's gonna... ."
"I know Leo. I know. I... I won't. Anything else?"
"Naw."
She's almost out the door.
"CJ?"
"Yeah?"
"Never mind."
She nods her head once.
"Okay."
She's gone. He thinks she understood. That he wanted to say more. To say that he was sorry. That he was proud. That her support earlier meant something to him. He wants to believe that she knows.
He wants many things. He's made the list already. And that hasn't helped. It hasn't achieved any of those things. Or even gotten him closer. So, Leo is left wanting.
The End