Authors Note: School...is far too time consuming for its worth. I really wish it would go away. So many things are going on. Every week I have 3 or 4 assignments or tests, or whatever. It's nutty! Anyway, Over the last little while I typed this up. I think it's one of my longest chapters yet. Hope you all enjoy it. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: Nous is mine, all mine. That's about it.

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When we reached her quarters she went over to the bed, sat, and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes again, and then her blue gaze fell on me. I wondered if it would be rude if I tried to leave...not that I would or anything.

"Julie." She said it softly but clearly.

I opened my mouth to respond, but for once I didn't have anything to say, not a witty remark, or a sarcastic comment. So instead I gawked, ok not quite gawked, but I'm pretty sure I looked confused as hell.

So what did she do? She repeated it, a little bit louder. "Julie."

I shook my head, not knowing what she wanted from me, but starting to get a pretty good idea of what she was getting at.

"Why do you all call me Nous? My. Name. Is. Julie." She looked frustrated now. She said the last part as if she was talking to a small child.

"We call you Nous because that is who you truly are." Why does that sound like such a Morpheus thing to say? I shudder at the thought of sounding like him. She started to say something but I interrupted, "The Matrix gave you the name Julie, but you decided to call yourself Nous," although for what reason, I have no idea in hell. "We all call ourselves by the name we gave ourselves, our 'hacker' names, are aliases ... unless you thought our parents where whacked and decided to name their kids Cypher, or worse, Morpheus." I could never resist a chance to make a crack at Morpheus. It did however cause a small smile.

"Fine, if you're goin to get in a huff about it, Nous it is...." she sighed and looked like she was thinking again. "There's no going back is there?" It was a question half-asked out of curiosity, and half-asked as a plea.

I looked at her; she was studying the ceiling again, probably counting bang marks. "No."

"So that's it then? I get pulled out of my life, my world, without a hint of what was to come? My whole life was dependent on the choice between two dumb pills?" She paused. "God...what am I supposed to do here Cypher? What the hell is my purpose?" She had stood up as she talked and now stood directly in front of me, looking up, (of course she had to look up slightly to meet my eyes), and waiting.

Of course I couldn't help realizing the humour in the fact I had asked myself that exact same question a thousand times, maybe more. Somehow I didn't think she would find that funny, so I gave her the only answer I could provide. " To survive, to be free, and to fight." She blinked, I guess she wasn't expecting that sort of answer from me. It was far too serious, she probably expected me to make some sarcastic joke, to try and make light of the situation. I couldn't though; I wouldn't let her spend years being disillusioned about our glorious purpose, to find the one. We'd be lucky if we ever found the one, and even then we still didn't have much of a chance against the machines. So the best we can do is make the most of it and live. I wish Morpheus would figure that out. Nous, she could appreciate the bluntness, the truth, she wanted to know where she stood in this god-awful world.

Slowly she backed off, moving back towards her bed and sat down. She was quiet for a few minutes, staring at the dull, banged up walls, and cheap mattress. She seemed to be having an internal fight over something, trying to make some sort of decision. Her face suddenly became determined, and she turned to me with a smile (although it didn't quite show in her still sad eyes), "So, what's a gal to do for fun in a place like this?"

Well that was a mood swing if I ever did see one, from finding the meaning of life to looking for entertainment. I told her as much. She had that determined look on her face again.

"The decisions been made and there is absolutely nothing I can do about, but I'm not going to waste away in this...this" she glanced around, "ship, unhappy and hopeless. I'm still alive and I'm going to keep living," her blue eyes had a fire in them that made them shine bright. She shifted slightly where she sat, pulling her knees up and resting her arms on them. The fire in her eyes dimming. "You said it yourself Cypher, the one thing you gotta do here is to survive, to live, and feeling sorry for myself and regretting the decisions I've made for the rest of my life in this, this 'reality', is not living." She still looked determined, but the dark circles beneath her eyes revealed how tired and worn she was.

I looked at her and realized that she probably had more strength than I've ever had. She was going to accept her fate, and make the best of it. No matter what, you could tell just from looking at her. And I was jealous of her. Why couldn't I come to accept that I was stuck in this miserable place and try to make the best of it? "You should get some sleep, you look like hell." She had been staring blindly at the wall in front of her, but now she turned and looked at me.

"Thanks a bunch, you really know how to sweet talk a girl."

I smirked and moved a bit closer. " I've been told that I have a certain, talents, when it comes to women..."

She rolled her eyes. "Do these talents involve women asking you to leave?"

"I'm hurt, you don't want me to tuck you in," I paused, " maybe kiss you goodnight?" I gave her my best-hurt expression. Then dodged out the door just in time to avoid the projectile pillow that had been headed in my direction. I smirked. "Good night Nous!"

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Want More? REVIEW!

So that's all for now! Hope you liked it. Thanks so much to those who have reviewed so far. It's been really encouraging.

Dani – I know! I think he's a great character. That's why I started this.

DonutHobbes – Romance? What romance? *tries to play dumb* Glad you liked the name. I tried to come up with something with a meaning....

The Mad Jester – Thanks! I try to keep him in character.

Choirgrlalex – Ya I know, but EVERYONE refers to Alice in wonderland. If you can think of something better I'd love to hear it. That was the best I could come up with. Thanks for your suggestions, I'll try and keep an eye on that...maybe I do it cause I babble....

Artemis (K2wriath@aol.com) – Thanks! I never really thought about how I was portraying Morpheus, but I can see what you're saying. I think that through Cypher's eyes Morpheus does kinda see like a bad guy...so it works.

Kalista3 – Trust me, Apoc and Trinity aren't forgotten. And I agree, I think Trinity was out before Cypher. All will be revealed.... if my muse co-operates, and I can get to the end of the story.......