-'Pirates of the Hellmouth.'-
A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.
Pairings/Crossovers: You'll see, its pretty damn obvious if you think about it
A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete Meilinger.
A/N2: To all my readers, hey, I am not giving anything away yet. I am just playing on the B/W/X love triangle right now okay. Don't make assumptions. Just read and enjoy. And the next part will probably be ready by Monday or so, depends when Christine agrees to beta it.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dedicated to Eddie.
///////////////////////////////
Xander stood at the front of his group. Snyder had apparently gathered up most of the kids dressed like pirates and put them into his group. He decided to see if he could have some fun with his newly found position of power. He cleared his throat and did his best gritty pirate voice.
"Listen 'ere ye scalawags. Listen to Captain Xander tell ye a tale of pirates, plunder an' buried treasure."
He was cut off by a little boy's voice from the back. "We don't care loser. We just want some candy!"
Another voice started up. "Yeah, you don't even look like a real pirate, where's your hat?"
The group started to snicker. Xander retreated back into his regular voice. "Hey now, that's not a way to speak to your Captain."
The first boy raised his hook for a hand and shouted. "MUTINY!!!!"
Xander's face fell. "Oh no."
The kids all turned to Xander and started chanting. "MU-TI-NY! MU-TI-NY!"
"Hey kids listen."
"MU-TI-NY! MU-TI-NY!"
"Now I don't want to have to get all parent-ey now."
"MU-TI-NY! MU-TI-NY!"
"SHUT UP OR NOONE GETS ANY DAMN CANDY!!!"
All was silent for a few seconds. Then Xander heard a little soft sob coming from the back of the group. Then another to his left, his right. Soon there was a chorus of crying and wailing.
"Kids, kids its ok. Don't worry, there will be lost of candy and plunder I promise."
The sobbing lessened a bit.
"After the looting and the pillaging, we'll all go out and enjoy our booty."
The first small voice in the back asked, "What's pillaging?"
The boy with the hook snickered. "You said 'BOOTY.'"
Xander groaned. 'Was I ever this annoying?'
He stopped for a second...'Yeah I probably was.'
He cleared his throat again; ready to address his 'crew' in the pirate voice.
"Listen 'ere, ye got to..."
A boy with an eye patch over his left eye stood in the back and asked. "Could you NOT use the pirate voice Captain Xander? It's scaring me."
A handful of snickers arose from out the group. Xander felt himself getting annoyed. 'Oh this is going to be a long night.'
"Ok kids, line up single file, and let me tell you a couple of things about this trick-or-treat business. Now on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?"
A chorus of "Aye Aye, Captain." Came from the group.
"Good, now lets see who the first mates gonna be shall we?"
"Aye Aye, Captain."
/////////////////////////
Buffy walked her charges along the sidewalk. Jonathon had disappeared some time ago, but Buffy didn't really care. She saw a couple of other people and trick-or-treaters walking about. 'Must be the only time when people can actually enjoy the night,' she thought. "Okay kids, on to Mrs. Davis's house. Last year she gave out floss, but there might still be hope for her yet."
She turned to see Xander and Willow walking along the opposite side of the street. She could tell that the kids were having a good time because of the smiles on their faces, and they all seemed to be singing, except for Willow and a small boy with an eye patch that looked incredibly terrified of Xander. 'Come on Willow, make your move.'
Her charges started to return to her. Buffy crouched down to see what they received. "What did Mrs. Davis give you?"
They all pulled out toothbrushes. Buffy grimaced. "She must be stopped. Let's hit Mrs. Sanders' house." She got up from her crouch and started to lead them along the sidewalk. "We still have a few more minutes before I need to get you back."
////////////////////////////
"YO HO, YO HO, A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME, EVERYBODY SING IT!"
Willow and Xander walked side by side. Willow smiled softly. Xander was turned around, conducting his crew in a rather interesting rendition of 'a pirates life for me.' He was making up half of the song and the kids couldn't care less, except for the poor little boy with the eye patch for some reason. He seemed so scared. She looked across the street to see Buffy leading her kids back from Mrs. Davis's house. "Xander, look."
Xander stopped singing the song for a minute and looked at the kids showing their toothbrushes to Buffy. "Good thing we skipped her house. I used up a carton of eggs and five rolls of toilet paper last year for the floss. And I heard Mr. Davis finally got that shotgun he's been wanting for just such an occasion. God knows what would've happened this time."
Willow laughed remembering the look on Xander's face as her ran away from the house. Mr. Davis hadn't taken too kindly too it and had chased him down the street with a baseball bat wearing nothing but his boxer shorts.
Xander looked at her with a lopsided grin. "What? It's not everyday you have too run for your life from the forces of evil. Oh wait, that's just Tuesdays."
Willow smiled. "The Davis's are a force of evil?"
Xander replied as they got to the last house. "They have given out dental products for Halloween every year since I can remember. The Davis's are the physical EMBODYMENT of pure evil."
He turned around to face his charges. "Ok boys and girls. This is the last house. After that, we gotta put this ship to shore."
"Lame."
Xander looked at the child he now affectionately called 'the annoying hook boy' in his head. "Yes very nice, I hope you're very happy with your job buffing the floors at McDonalds when you get older."
Willow stood back and watched Xander totally in his element. He was great with kids. He would say that it's because they are of a similar mindset. But she knew that it was because he was more of a caring, nurturing person. A good friend above all else. She sighed. 'Always a good friend, nothing more.'
Xander noticed Willows sigh. "What's wrong Wills?"
Willow tried to put on a happy smile. "Nothing just tired. It was a long day. And this dress isn't exactly made for walking."
Xander nodded. "Speaking of that, why did you and Buffy switch costumes? I mean don't get me wrong. I love my Willow-time."
"But you were hoping for some Buffy-time weren't you?"
Xander looked back across the street to see Buffy waiting for her charges. "Yeah, I can't help it can I?"
Willow looked down at her dress. 'No I guess I can't help it either.'
Xander noticed that look. "Hey now Wills, have I been depriving you of some much needed Xander-lovin?"
Willow chuckled. "God forbid there should be any shortage of Xander-lovin."
Xander put both of his palms on Willows shoulders and looked her strait in the eyes. "Listen, I know that I might not have been the bestest-best friend here lately, but you'll always be my Willow. I'll always make time for you at the drop of a hat." To make a point Xander knocked off the hat of the annoying hook boy.
"Hey!"
"And you'll always be my Xander. Its just, Buffy is, is great and all. I mean don't get me wrong, I love her. Wait I don't love her, love her. More like, I like her a great deal, as in a friend..."
"Wills, youre babbling. What are you trying to tell me?"
Willow gathered up as much courage as she could...And then fainted.
////////////////////
Buffy watched her charges walk up to the door. A kid with a green monster mask was first in line. An elderly lady opened the door.
"TRICK OR TREAT."
The lady looked into her empty candy bucket. "Oh, dear! Am I all out?"
The wind started to pick up for a split second. Grey clouds blocked the full moon. As soon as the wind died down, she looked back. "I could've sworn I had more candy."
The creature in the green mask tilted his head.
"I'm sorry mister monster," the woman bent down to eye level. "Maybe I..."
The green creature grabbed hold of the lady by the neck and began to choke her. Some of the other children screamed and run away.
Buffy saw what was happening. "No! Let her go!"
She started to run up to the house when an identical red monster appeared. The green one let go of the lady, and then started to fight his red cousin. Buffy ran up to them, when all of the sudden...
*GASP*
Buffy fell to her knees, gasping for air.
//////////////////////
"Wills, WILLOW! ARE YOU OKAY?"
Xander turned around to see if anyone could help him. "SOMEBODY, HELP, ANYONE!"
The last thing he saw was Willow's unconscious form before his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.
Pairings/Crossovers: You'll see, its pretty damn obvious if you think about it
A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete Meilinger.
A/N2: To all my readers, hey, I am not giving anything away yet. I am just playing on the B/W/X love triangle right now okay. Don't make assumptions. Just read and enjoy. And the next part will probably be ready by Monday or so, depends when Christine agrees to beta it.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dedicated to Eddie.
///////////////////////////////
Xander stood at the front of his group. Snyder had apparently gathered up most of the kids dressed like pirates and put them into his group. He decided to see if he could have some fun with his newly found position of power. He cleared his throat and did his best gritty pirate voice.
"Listen 'ere ye scalawags. Listen to Captain Xander tell ye a tale of pirates, plunder an' buried treasure."
He was cut off by a little boy's voice from the back. "We don't care loser. We just want some candy!"
Another voice started up. "Yeah, you don't even look like a real pirate, where's your hat?"
The group started to snicker. Xander retreated back into his regular voice. "Hey now, that's not a way to speak to your Captain."
The first boy raised his hook for a hand and shouted. "MUTINY!!!!"
Xander's face fell. "Oh no."
The kids all turned to Xander and started chanting. "MU-TI-NY! MU-TI-NY!"
"Hey kids listen."
"MU-TI-NY! MU-TI-NY!"
"Now I don't want to have to get all parent-ey now."
"MU-TI-NY! MU-TI-NY!"
"SHUT UP OR NOONE GETS ANY DAMN CANDY!!!"
All was silent for a few seconds. Then Xander heard a little soft sob coming from the back of the group. Then another to his left, his right. Soon there was a chorus of crying and wailing.
"Kids, kids its ok. Don't worry, there will be lost of candy and plunder I promise."
The sobbing lessened a bit.
"After the looting and the pillaging, we'll all go out and enjoy our booty."
The first small voice in the back asked, "What's pillaging?"
The boy with the hook snickered. "You said 'BOOTY.'"
Xander groaned. 'Was I ever this annoying?'
He stopped for a second...'Yeah I probably was.'
He cleared his throat again; ready to address his 'crew' in the pirate voice.
"Listen 'ere, ye got to..."
A boy with an eye patch over his left eye stood in the back and asked. "Could you NOT use the pirate voice Captain Xander? It's scaring me."
A handful of snickers arose from out the group. Xander felt himself getting annoyed. 'Oh this is going to be a long night.'
"Ok kids, line up single file, and let me tell you a couple of things about this trick-or-treat business. Now on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?"
A chorus of "Aye Aye, Captain." Came from the group.
"Good, now lets see who the first mates gonna be shall we?"
"Aye Aye, Captain."
/////////////////////////
Buffy walked her charges along the sidewalk. Jonathon had disappeared some time ago, but Buffy didn't really care. She saw a couple of other people and trick-or-treaters walking about. 'Must be the only time when people can actually enjoy the night,' she thought. "Okay kids, on to Mrs. Davis's house. Last year she gave out floss, but there might still be hope for her yet."
She turned to see Xander and Willow walking along the opposite side of the street. She could tell that the kids were having a good time because of the smiles on their faces, and they all seemed to be singing, except for Willow and a small boy with an eye patch that looked incredibly terrified of Xander. 'Come on Willow, make your move.'
Her charges started to return to her. Buffy crouched down to see what they received. "What did Mrs. Davis give you?"
They all pulled out toothbrushes. Buffy grimaced. "She must be stopped. Let's hit Mrs. Sanders' house." She got up from her crouch and started to lead them along the sidewalk. "We still have a few more minutes before I need to get you back."
////////////////////////////
"YO HO, YO HO, A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME, EVERYBODY SING IT!"
Willow and Xander walked side by side. Willow smiled softly. Xander was turned around, conducting his crew in a rather interesting rendition of 'a pirates life for me.' He was making up half of the song and the kids couldn't care less, except for the poor little boy with the eye patch for some reason. He seemed so scared. She looked across the street to see Buffy leading her kids back from Mrs. Davis's house. "Xander, look."
Xander stopped singing the song for a minute and looked at the kids showing their toothbrushes to Buffy. "Good thing we skipped her house. I used up a carton of eggs and five rolls of toilet paper last year for the floss. And I heard Mr. Davis finally got that shotgun he's been wanting for just such an occasion. God knows what would've happened this time."
Willow laughed remembering the look on Xander's face as her ran away from the house. Mr. Davis hadn't taken too kindly too it and had chased him down the street with a baseball bat wearing nothing but his boxer shorts.
Xander looked at her with a lopsided grin. "What? It's not everyday you have too run for your life from the forces of evil. Oh wait, that's just Tuesdays."
Willow smiled. "The Davis's are a force of evil?"
Xander replied as they got to the last house. "They have given out dental products for Halloween every year since I can remember. The Davis's are the physical EMBODYMENT of pure evil."
He turned around to face his charges. "Ok boys and girls. This is the last house. After that, we gotta put this ship to shore."
"Lame."
Xander looked at the child he now affectionately called 'the annoying hook boy' in his head. "Yes very nice, I hope you're very happy with your job buffing the floors at McDonalds when you get older."
Willow stood back and watched Xander totally in his element. He was great with kids. He would say that it's because they are of a similar mindset. But she knew that it was because he was more of a caring, nurturing person. A good friend above all else. She sighed. 'Always a good friend, nothing more.'
Xander noticed Willows sigh. "What's wrong Wills?"
Willow tried to put on a happy smile. "Nothing just tired. It was a long day. And this dress isn't exactly made for walking."
Xander nodded. "Speaking of that, why did you and Buffy switch costumes? I mean don't get me wrong. I love my Willow-time."
"But you were hoping for some Buffy-time weren't you?"
Xander looked back across the street to see Buffy waiting for her charges. "Yeah, I can't help it can I?"
Willow looked down at her dress. 'No I guess I can't help it either.'
Xander noticed that look. "Hey now Wills, have I been depriving you of some much needed Xander-lovin?"
Willow chuckled. "God forbid there should be any shortage of Xander-lovin."
Xander put both of his palms on Willows shoulders and looked her strait in the eyes. "Listen, I know that I might not have been the bestest-best friend here lately, but you'll always be my Willow. I'll always make time for you at the drop of a hat." To make a point Xander knocked off the hat of the annoying hook boy.
"Hey!"
"And you'll always be my Xander. Its just, Buffy is, is great and all. I mean don't get me wrong, I love her. Wait I don't love her, love her. More like, I like her a great deal, as in a friend..."
"Wills, youre babbling. What are you trying to tell me?"
Willow gathered up as much courage as she could...And then fainted.
////////////////////
Buffy watched her charges walk up to the door. A kid with a green monster mask was first in line. An elderly lady opened the door.
"TRICK OR TREAT."
The lady looked into her empty candy bucket. "Oh, dear! Am I all out?"
The wind started to pick up for a split second. Grey clouds blocked the full moon. As soon as the wind died down, she looked back. "I could've sworn I had more candy."
The creature in the green mask tilted his head.
"I'm sorry mister monster," the woman bent down to eye level. "Maybe I..."
The green creature grabbed hold of the lady by the neck and began to choke her. Some of the other children screamed and run away.
Buffy saw what was happening. "No! Let her go!"
She started to run up to the house when an identical red monster appeared. The green one let go of the lady, and then started to fight his red cousin. Buffy ran up to them, when all of the sudden...
*GASP*
Buffy fell to her knees, gasping for air.
//////////////////////
"Wills, WILLOW! ARE YOU OKAY?"
Xander turned around to see if anyone could help him. "SOMEBODY, HELP, ANYONE!"
The last thing he saw was Willow's unconscious form before his eyes rolled into the back of his head.