Thanks to LilLegs, Tippy, KatKnits00, Sara, Treachery89, Jewels03, K.
Presson, Swasthi, Samantha Quin, Frankie McStein, DavinaGenevieve, Tyger
Magick, Kiddo, Teresa and anyone else who read the last chapter.
Please see previous chapters for disclaimers.
Chapter 13.
"Your father told you it was your fault he abused you?" Ben asked in astonishment.
"Disciplined." Lucas corrected.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Ben asked.
Lucas looked confused. "I kind of figured that you would be able to work out that I had a discipline problem with-out me having to spell it out for you."
"You don't have a discipline problem." Ben said annunciating each word with exaggerated care.
Lucas shrugged, "You're entitled to your own opinion, Ben."
Ben cast around for a way to convince Lucas that he was right. "If you're right, how come no one on seaQuest has ever hit you?"
Again Lucas shrugged, "Maybe I just haven't done anything too bad since I got on the boat, or there again maybe none of you know me as well as my father does."
Ben stopped and watched his young friend for several moments. "You really believe it, don't you, you really believe it's your fault?"
"What's who's fault?" Katie asked sleepily, turning her head to face them, as the combination of the smoke from the now quite established fire, and the quiet conversation succeeded in waking her up.
Lucas didn't even look around. He said "It's my fault I have a discipline problem."
"You don't have a discipline problem." Katie said. "Ben, why did you of all people tell Lucas he had a discipline problem?" Katie asked her ex-husband in none too friendly a tone of voice.
"What? Me?" Ben protested, wondering how everything was suddenly his fault. "I never said that!"
Katie looked disbelieving at Ben. "I didn't!" Ben said again.
"If you didn't say it, then why does he believe it?" Katie said, her disbelief clear on her face.
"Because... Because..." Ben didn't want to tell Katie anything that would betray his young friends trust so soon after he had gained it. "Because... someone else told him so." He finally finished off, unhappily.
"Who?" Said Katie.
"I can't tell you." Ben said, sighing.
"Because it's not true." Katie said, all her suspicions confirmed.
Lucas listened to them talk about him apparently as if they had forgotten that he was even present. It didn't surprise him - he was used to people forgetting that he existed until they wanted him to do something, until they wanted some computer programming written, or wanted some one to be the model son and shake hands with potential donars at some fancy dinner, or until something on seaQuest broke down.
He knew that it wasn't their fault - he was sure it had to be that he was just a very easy person to forget about. As the fire burned hotter, Lucas began feeding in more or the wood and less of the paper, until it reached a point when he put the paper aside and watched as the flames flickered around the wood.
As he tuned back into the now quite heated conversation between Ben and Katie, Lucas realised that it was his fault they were arguing. "Ben's telling the truth," he confirmed, "He just doesn't understand that my father was doing what was best for me."
Katie was half sure that she actually felt the blood drain from her face as all the dots connected up inside her mind.
"Lucas," she said, measuring each word carefully as she said it, "Do you think it's possible that what your father did wasn't right?"
"No." Lucas said simply.
"That maybe it was your father's fault and no your own?" She suggested.
Lucas seemed to consider this, but in truth, it was an idea he had dismissed a long time ago. It had to be his fault. If he'd just done things right, the way his father wanted them to be done, then his father wouldn't have had to get angry with him. When ever the question of his father doing wrong came into his mind - usually at three o'clock in the morning, when he'd woken up from a dream he was desperate to forget, he always came to the same conclusion.
"My father was only doing what was best for me, he didn't want to... to... hurt me, but I left him no choice - it was all my fault."
Neither Katie nor Ben knew what to say. After several moments of silence, Ben finally said "Maybe your father -"
But Lucas cut him off. "My father loves me and that makes what ever he did right!" he practically shouted.
***** ***** *****
Nathan Bridger finally stopped pacing when the got into the small plane that was going to fly them over the plane that had been carrying the crews last known co-ordinates, but only because it was a small plane and there was hardly room to stretch his leg let alone get up and walk around.
So he sat by the window and watched the trees stream past below them. He'd been told to watch for any break in the trees that could have been made by a plane crashing through the foliage. Nathan strongly suspected that the local authorities were humouring his request that they be involved in the search.
He knew that the man sitting next to the pilot was a trained to spot all the signs - and so was far more qualified to notice a disturbance in the dense landscape than a UEO Captain who was far more at home under the sea than he ever was on dry land. But he couldn't just sit in some barracks and wait, he had to do something, or at least feel like he was doing something positive.
Nathan Bridger didn't think he could cope with losing the best of his senior crew - and he knew he couldn't cope with losing another son.
***** ***** *****
As the others in the crew woke up, at the sudden exclamation, Lucas stared defiantly at Ben and Katie, daring them to disagree with him.
"Lucas," Katie said, changing tactics. "If our places were reversed. If I were to tell you that my father hit me, what would you say?"
"That would be different." Lucas said, "You're a girl."
Katie looked nonplussed so Lucas continued. "Because if what your father did wasn't justified then you wouldn't have been able to fight back."
"Did you ever fight back?" Ben asked.
The look in his eyes told Ben that Lucas never had.
***** ***** *****
"Maybe we'll find them tomorrow, Nathan."
"Maybe." Nathan agreed. "I don't understand it, a plane can't just disappear into thin air."
Kristen glanced worriedly at the Captain. "I don't suppose they would have tired to go around the weather?" She wondered out loud.
"The pilot would have radioed a course change." Nathan said.
"What if there was a problem with the radio?" Kristen asked.
"True, but the chances are pretty slim."
Kristen sighed. "Yes - I suppose they are."
***** ***** *****
Lucas looked around and realised that everyone was staring at him, and that they all knew. He wondered how their knowing would change things. Would they realise that his father was right? Would they decide that they didn't want him on the boat? Would they send him home? Would they tell the Captain?
That was when Lucas realised a surprising fact - the Captain had never hit him. Not when he caught him playing computer games on the seaQuests mainframe, or playing with Darwin, when he should have been working. Not even when he was upset because Lucas had stayed up all night working on some project or other. Bridger hadn't even raised a hand to him when he'd answered back and deliberately pushed all the Captains buttons to see how far he could get away with pushing his luck.
Lucas didn't want to think about what his father would have to say when he found out that he'd managed to get himself stuck in the middle of Siberia - and with out even a thesis to offer up as some sort of mitigating circumstance. But somehow he knew that the Captain wouldn't be mad at him; that he wouldn't blame him for the plane crash.
Maybe if everything was kept quiet, then his father wouldn't have to find out, but for some reason, Bridger always insisted in trying to tell his father about everything, not that he had much luck getting thought to the great Dr. Wolenczak.
Lucas looked around at all his friends as they stared at him, most of them not understanding what had prompted the outburst. Lucas sighed and said. "I'm going to get some sleep - I suggest you all do the same."
"Lucas?" Ben tried, but his friend ignored him and curled up under a corner of the parachute to go to sleep.
***** ***** *****
It was some ours later, and Lucas was still awake, although he could hear gentle snores coming from some of the others. He'd been thinking about their situation. He knew that in any situation like this - everyone was supposed to stay with the plane. The search parties would be far more likely to spot a plane than an individual person. Someone needed to get to the plane and leave some sort of instructions on how to find the others; otherwise they were going to be in the forest indefinitely.
Lucas thought about the practicalities of this. Katie and Tim couldn't be moved very far, very easily, Ford concussion made him slightly less than reliable. Miguel was having trouble with his shoulder, since he wasn't used to working with one hand. Ben was fit and able, but it would have been insane to leave the group without someone to help them. That just left Lucas himself.
He weighed the advantages and disadvantages of going to find the plane. One the one hand he'd be all on his own, making his way though a forest he didn't know, with only one good arm. On the other hand, he could stay with the others and defend his father against people who seemed determined to think the worse of him.
The forest looked more and more appealing the longer he spent considering his choices.
***** ***** *****
To Be Continued...
***** ***** *****
This all for now, please review - any feedback you can offer is always immensely helpful. The next chapter will be up as soon as I've written it. Thanks again to all the people who have reviewed so far.
Cadi.
Please see previous chapters for disclaimers.
Chapter 13.
"Your father told you it was your fault he abused you?" Ben asked in astonishment.
"Disciplined." Lucas corrected.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Ben asked.
Lucas looked confused. "I kind of figured that you would be able to work out that I had a discipline problem with-out me having to spell it out for you."
"You don't have a discipline problem." Ben said annunciating each word with exaggerated care.
Lucas shrugged, "You're entitled to your own opinion, Ben."
Ben cast around for a way to convince Lucas that he was right. "If you're right, how come no one on seaQuest has ever hit you?"
Again Lucas shrugged, "Maybe I just haven't done anything too bad since I got on the boat, or there again maybe none of you know me as well as my father does."
Ben stopped and watched his young friend for several moments. "You really believe it, don't you, you really believe it's your fault?"
"What's who's fault?" Katie asked sleepily, turning her head to face them, as the combination of the smoke from the now quite established fire, and the quiet conversation succeeded in waking her up.
Lucas didn't even look around. He said "It's my fault I have a discipline problem."
"You don't have a discipline problem." Katie said. "Ben, why did you of all people tell Lucas he had a discipline problem?" Katie asked her ex-husband in none too friendly a tone of voice.
"What? Me?" Ben protested, wondering how everything was suddenly his fault. "I never said that!"
Katie looked disbelieving at Ben. "I didn't!" Ben said again.
"If you didn't say it, then why does he believe it?" Katie said, her disbelief clear on her face.
"Because... Because..." Ben didn't want to tell Katie anything that would betray his young friends trust so soon after he had gained it. "Because... someone else told him so." He finally finished off, unhappily.
"Who?" Said Katie.
"I can't tell you." Ben said, sighing.
"Because it's not true." Katie said, all her suspicions confirmed.
Lucas listened to them talk about him apparently as if they had forgotten that he was even present. It didn't surprise him - he was used to people forgetting that he existed until they wanted him to do something, until they wanted some computer programming written, or wanted some one to be the model son and shake hands with potential donars at some fancy dinner, or until something on seaQuest broke down.
He knew that it wasn't their fault - he was sure it had to be that he was just a very easy person to forget about. As the fire burned hotter, Lucas began feeding in more or the wood and less of the paper, until it reached a point when he put the paper aside and watched as the flames flickered around the wood.
As he tuned back into the now quite heated conversation between Ben and Katie, Lucas realised that it was his fault they were arguing. "Ben's telling the truth," he confirmed, "He just doesn't understand that my father was doing what was best for me."
Katie was half sure that she actually felt the blood drain from her face as all the dots connected up inside her mind.
"Lucas," she said, measuring each word carefully as she said it, "Do you think it's possible that what your father did wasn't right?"
"No." Lucas said simply.
"That maybe it was your father's fault and no your own?" She suggested.
Lucas seemed to consider this, but in truth, it was an idea he had dismissed a long time ago. It had to be his fault. If he'd just done things right, the way his father wanted them to be done, then his father wouldn't have had to get angry with him. When ever the question of his father doing wrong came into his mind - usually at three o'clock in the morning, when he'd woken up from a dream he was desperate to forget, he always came to the same conclusion.
"My father was only doing what was best for me, he didn't want to... to... hurt me, but I left him no choice - it was all my fault."
Neither Katie nor Ben knew what to say. After several moments of silence, Ben finally said "Maybe your father -"
But Lucas cut him off. "My father loves me and that makes what ever he did right!" he practically shouted.
***** ***** *****
Nathan Bridger finally stopped pacing when the got into the small plane that was going to fly them over the plane that had been carrying the crews last known co-ordinates, but only because it was a small plane and there was hardly room to stretch his leg let alone get up and walk around.
So he sat by the window and watched the trees stream past below them. He'd been told to watch for any break in the trees that could have been made by a plane crashing through the foliage. Nathan strongly suspected that the local authorities were humouring his request that they be involved in the search.
He knew that the man sitting next to the pilot was a trained to spot all the signs - and so was far more qualified to notice a disturbance in the dense landscape than a UEO Captain who was far more at home under the sea than he ever was on dry land. But he couldn't just sit in some barracks and wait, he had to do something, or at least feel like he was doing something positive.
Nathan Bridger didn't think he could cope with losing the best of his senior crew - and he knew he couldn't cope with losing another son.
***** ***** *****
As the others in the crew woke up, at the sudden exclamation, Lucas stared defiantly at Ben and Katie, daring them to disagree with him.
"Lucas," Katie said, changing tactics. "If our places were reversed. If I were to tell you that my father hit me, what would you say?"
"That would be different." Lucas said, "You're a girl."
Katie looked nonplussed so Lucas continued. "Because if what your father did wasn't justified then you wouldn't have been able to fight back."
"Did you ever fight back?" Ben asked.
The look in his eyes told Ben that Lucas never had.
***** ***** *****
"Maybe we'll find them tomorrow, Nathan."
"Maybe." Nathan agreed. "I don't understand it, a plane can't just disappear into thin air."
Kristen glanced worriedly at the Captain. "I don't suppose they would have tired to go around the weather?" She wondered out loud.
"The pilot would have radioed a course change." Nathan said.
"What if there was a problem with the radio?" Kristen asked.
"True, but the chances are pretty slim."
Kristen sighed. "Yes - I suppose they are."
***** ***** *****
Lucas looked around and realised that everyone was staring at him, and that they all knew. He wondered how their knowing would change things. Would they realise that his father was right? Would they decide that they didn't want him on the boat? Would they send him home? Would they tell the Captain?
That was when Lucas realised a surprising fact - the Captain had never hit him. Not when he caught him playing computer games on the seaQuests mainframe, or playing with Darwin, when he should have been working. Not even when he was upset because Lucas had stayed up all night working on some project or other. Bridger hadn't even raised a hand to him when he'd answered back and deliberately pushed all the Captains buttons to see how far he could get away with pushing his luck.
Lucas didn't want to think about what his father would have to say when he found out that he'd managed to get himself stuck in the middle of Siberia - and with out even a thesis to offer up as some sort of mitigating circumstance. But somehow he knew that the Captain wouldn't be mad at him; that he wouldn't blame him for the plane crash.
Maybe if everything was kept quiet, then his father wouldn't have to find out, but for some reason, Bridger always insisted in trying to tell his father about everything, not that he had much luck getting thought to the great Dr. Wolenczak.
Lucas looked around at all his friends as they stared at him, most of them not understanding what had prompted the outburst. Lucas sighed and said. "I'm going to get some sleep - I suggest you all do the same."
"Lucas?" Ben tried, but his friend ignored him and curled up under a corner of the parachute to go to sleep.
***** ***** *****
It was some ours later, and Lucas was still awake, although he could hear gentle snores coming from some of the others. He'd been thinking about their situation. He knew that in any situation like this - everyone was supposed to stay with the plane. The search parties would be far more likely to spot a plane than an individual person. Someone needed to get to the plane and leave some sort of instructions on how to find the others; otherwise they were going to be in the forest indefinitely.
Lucas thought about the practicalities of this. Katie and Tim couldn't be moved very far, very easily, Ford concussion made him slightly less than reliable. Miguel was having trouble with his shoulder, since he wasn't used to working with one hand. Ben was fit and able, but it would have been insane to leave the group without someone to help them. That just left Lucas himself.
He weighed the advantages and disadvantages of going to find the plane. One the one hand he'd be all on his own, making his way though a forest he didn't know, with only one good arm. On the other hand, he could stay with the others and defend his father against people who seemed determined to think the worse of him.
The forest looked more and more appealing the longer he spent considering his choices.
***** ***** *****
To Be Continued...
***** ***** *****
This all for now, please review - any feedback you can offer is always immensely helpful. The next chapter will be up as soon as I've written it. Thanks again to all the people who have reviewed so far.
Cadi.