-'Pirates of the Hellmouth.'-
A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.
Updated:: Pairings/Crossovers: A little W/X for the people, the title kinda makes the crossover obvious
Updated:: A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete M. Special thanks to grossclout for editing and betaing. And thanks to Buffyworld.com for Halloween episode transcript.
A/N2: Keep those reviews coming people. God knows you can't write more unless you get reviews.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dedicated to Eddie.
//////////////////////
Xander and Willow followed the gang of pirates down the street. They came to a series of school buses. One was painted black while the rest of the busses were in the standard yellow color.
A small child with a hook for a hand and a pirate hat jumped off of the hood of the first bus and landed in front of them. "Who is this?"
The fat pirate that led them there gestured to them and said, "They've invoked the right of parley with the Captain."
The child walked forward and eyed Willow appreciatively. "Aye, let the man go, methinks the lass should stay with the crew."
He stepped forward to be picked up by the collar. Xander looked him in the eye and threw him back into the bus. The fat pirate laughed heartily. "And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley. Especially when this young lad is around, he stabbed me three times and the lass shot me in the face a furlong away."
The three walked past the young child who pushed himself off. Xander let his hand slip and knocked the hat off the 'annoying hook pirate.'
"HEY!"
They finally stopped at the large black bus. Willow and Xander stood infront of the door as it 'wushed' open. Willow took a step back while Xander reached for his sword. "Is it a demon?"
The pirate laughed. "Nay miss, we do not understand it ourselves. Luckily we found some...volunteers to help steer these land ships."
The duo looked to the driver's seat to find a very annoyed looking bald man shackled to the chair. "HARRIS, ROSENBURG. YOU WILL GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!!"
The pirate leaned forward and whispered to them. "He calls himself 'Sneeder' and says he be a man, but we think he be a hill-troll. There seems to be no shortage of them in this eerie town."
They shrugged and followed the pirate into the bus, leaving a very unhappy principal chained to the steering wheel. "HARRIS!!!!"
The pirate led them to the back to see a young man with dreadlocks and a large hat lying on his back, being fanned and fed grapes by several scantily clad young women. The fat pirate gestured to Willow and Xander. "They have invoked the right of parley Captain, and wished to see you."
The man sat up and shook his head correcting the pirate. "Commodore, its Commodore, I've more than one ship now." He turned to face the two. "It's a nautical term."
Willow stepped forward. "We are to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against..." she looked at Xander who just shrugged. She sighed, "this town."
The man smiled and motioned for one of the girls to feed him another grape. "There are a lot of long words in there, Miss. We're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?"
Willow slapped away the girl's hand that was feeding him the grapes, commanding his attention. "I want you to leave and never come back."
He turned back to the grape girl and kissed her hand. "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request..." he turned back and smiled at Willow, "means no."
Xander took a step forward. "Excuse me, but what is your name good sir?"
The pirate smiled and stood up to steady his shirt. "I am Commodore Jack Sparrow."
//////////////////////
Spike watched as his minions tore through the streets. A minion stepped up to him. "Sire, we have been able to take most of the neighborhoods surrounding the docks, but the area around Revello drive seems to be fortified."
Spike growled at the fledgling. "Fortified by what?"
"Pirates."
Spike's voice dropped an octave. "You're bloody sodding me right, pirates?"
He turned to see several of his minions try to feed off of a 5 foot Pikachu. "Well I guess its not that far fetched."
The minion nodded. "The pirates haven't gone down in numbers; it seems that we can't kill them."
The blond master vampire smirked and shifted into game face. "Well, we'll see about that."
//////////////////////
Willow's jaw dropped. "JACK SPARROW?"
Jack smiled. "Ah, so you've heard of me?"
Willow slapped him.
*Thwack!*
Jack looked confused. "I don't know what I did to deserve that."
The grape feeding girl dropped the fan and grapes and abruptly stood up. "Who is she?"
*Thwack!*
As she left, Jack turned to face Xander and Willow again. "I probably deserved that."
Xander put his hand on Willow's shoulder to calm her down. "If you're Jack Sparrow, then how did you get off that island you were stranded on?"
The fat pirate, who had been quiet thus far, had decided to interrupt. "He waded out into the shallows and there he waited three days and three nights till all manner of sea creature came and acclimated to his presence. And on the fourth morning he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, harnessed them together and made a raft."
Willow smiled evilly and looked back at Jack. "He roped a couple of sea turtles?"
The pirate nodded. "Aye, sea turtles."
Xander smirked, knowing where this was going. "What did he use for rope?"
Jack smiled. "Human hair, from my back."
It was Willow's turn to smirk. She leaned forward and whispered into Jack's ear. "I thought that you spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum."
Jack's face fell, and then he started to grin to himself. There were only a select few who knew what happened on the beach. He stood up and shouted. "WILL! ELIZABETH! What are you doing here?"
Xander took another step forward and gave Jack a dirty look. "We're trying to stop you from pillaging this town."
Jack shook his head and looked at Willow. "What am I?"
Willow answered. "A pirate."
Jack held out his arms and gestured to himself. "_Pirate._"
He then turned to face Xander and gestured at Willow. "See! She understands."
She shook her head. "No I don't."
He turned back to face her. "Yes you do."
Xander put his hand on Jack's shoulder forcing him to stop. "Do you know what's going on in this town?"
Jack grabbed his sword and pistol and led them out of the bus. The troll in the driver's seat did his best to get their attention. "HARRIS, ROSENBURG, LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!"
Jack spoke to them out of the side of his mouth. "Normally, I might feel bad about doing that to someone, but for some reason...I don't."
"LET ME OUT DAMMIT!!"
A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.
Updated:: Pairings/Crossovers: A little W/X for the people, the title kinda makes the crossover obvious
Updated:: A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete M. Special thanks to grossclout for editing and betaing. And thanks to Buffyworld.com for Halloween episode transcript.
A/N2: Keep those reviews coming people. God knows you can't write more unless you get reviews.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dedicated to Eddie.
//////////////////////
Xander and Willow followed the gang of pirates down the street. They came to a series of school buses. One was painted black while the rest of the busses were in the standard yellow color.
A small child with a hook for a hand and a pirate hat jumped off of the hood of the first bus and landed in front of them. "Who is this?"
The fat pirate that led them there gestured to them and said, "They've invoked the right of parley with the Captain."
The child walked forward and eyed Willow appreciatively. "Aye, let the man go, methinks the lass should stay with the crew."
He stepped forward to be picked up by the collar. Xander looked him in the eye and threw him back into the bus. The fat pirate laughed heartily. "And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley. Especially when this young lad is around, he stabbed me three times and the lass shot me in the face a furlong away."
The three walked past the young child who pushed himself off. Xander let his hand slip and knocked the hat off the 'annoying hook pirate.'
"HEY!"
They finally stopped at the large black bus. Willow and Xander stood infront of the door as it 'wushed' open. Willow took a step back while Xander reached for his sword. "Is it a demon?"
The pirate laughed. "Nay miss, we do not understand it ourselves. Luckily we found some...volunteers to help steer these land ships."
The duo looked to the driver's seat to find a very annoyed looking bald man shackled to the chair. "HARRIS, ROSENBURG. YOU WILL GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!!"
The pirate leaned forward and whispered to them. "He calls himself 'Sneeder' and says he be a man, but we think he be a hill-troll. There seems to be no shortage of them in this eerie town."
They shrugged and followed the pirate into the bus, leaving a very unhappy principal chained to the steering wheel. "HARRIS!!!!"
The pirate led them to the back to see a young man with dreadlocks and a large hat lying on his back, being fanned and fed grapes by several scantily clad young women. The fat pirate gestured to Willow and Xander. "They have invoked the right of parley Captain, and wished to see you."
The man sat up and shook his head correcting the pirate. "Commodore, its Commodore, I've more than one ship now." He turned to face the two. "It's a nautical term."
Willow stepped forward. "We are to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against..." she looked at Xander who just shrugged. She sighed, "this town."
The man smiled and motioned for one of the girls to feed him another grape. "There are a lot of long words in there, Miss. We're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?"
Willow slapped away the girl's hand that was feeding him the grapes, commanding his attention. "I want you to leave and never come back."
He turned back to the grape girl and kissed her hand. "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request..." he turned back and smiled at Willow, "means no."
Xander took a step forward. "Excuse me, but what is your name good sir?"
The pirate smiled and stood up to steady his shirt. "I am Commodore Jack Sparrow."
//////////////////////
Spike watched as his minions tore through the streets. A minion stepped up to him. "Sire, we have been able to take most of the neighborhoods surrounding the docks, but the area around Revello drive seems to be fortified."
Spike growled at the fledgling. "Fortified by what?"
"Pirates."
Spike's voice dropped an octave. "You're bloody sodding me right, pirates?"
He turned to see several of his minions try to feed off of a 5 foot Pikachu. "Well I guess its not that far fetched."
The minion nodded. "The pirates haven't gone down in numbers; it seems that we can't kill them."
The blond master vampire smirked and shifted into game face. "Well, we'll see about that."
//////////////////////
Willow's jaw dropped. "JACK SPARROW?"
Jack smiled. "Ah, so you've heard of me?"
Willow slapped him.
*Thwack!*
Jack looked confused. "I don't know what I did to deserve that."
The grape feeding girl dropped the fan and grapes and abruptly stood up. "Who is she?"
*Thwack!*
As she left, Jack turned to face Xander and Willow again. "I probably deserved that."
Xander put his hand on Willow's shoulder to calm her down. "If you're Jack Sparrow, then how did you get off that island you were stranded on?"
The fat pirate, who had been quiet thus far, had decided to interrupt. "He waded out into the shallows and there he waited three days and three nights till all manner of sea creature came and acclimated to his presence. And on the fourth morning he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, harnessed them together and made a raft."
Willow smiled evilly and looked back at Jack. "He roped a couple of sea turtles?"
The pirate nodded. "Aye, sea turtles."
Xander smirked, knowing where this was going. "What did he use for rope?"
Jack smiled. "Human hair, from my back."
It was Willow's turn to smirk. She leaned forward and whispered into Jack's ear. "I thought that you spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum."
Jack's face fell, and then he started to grin to himself. There were only a select few who knew what happened on the beach. He stood up and shouted. "WILL! ELIZABETH! What are you doing here?"
Xander took another step forward and gave Jack a dirty look. "We're trying to stop you from pillaging this town."
Jack shook his head and looked at Willow. "What am I?"
Willow answered. "A pirate."
Jack held out his arms and gestured to himself. "_Pirate._"
He then turned to face Xander and gestured at Willow. "See! She understands."
She shook her head. "No I don't."
He turned back to face her. "Yes you do."
Xander put his hand on Jack's shoulder forcing him to stop. "Do you know what's going on in this town?"
Jack grabbed his sword and pistol and led them out of the bus. The troll in the driver's seat did his best to get their attention. "HARRIS, ROSENBURG, LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!"
Jack spoke to them out of the side of his mouth. "Normally, I might feel bad about doing that to someone, but for some reason...I don't."
"LET ME OUT DAMMIT!!"