-'Pirates of the Hellmouth.'-
A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.
Updated:: Pairings/Crossovers: A little W/X for the people, the title kinda makes the crossover obvious
Updated:: A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete M. And thanks to Buffyworld.com for Halloween episode transcript.
A/N2: And very special thank you's to all my reviewers, thanks for the compliments.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dedicated to Eddie.
//////////////////////
Buffy ran through the woods back from the library. She didn't know where else to go. She was the Slayer for God's sake. How could she be such a wuss when at the first sign of trouble, when my powers are squat, I just freaking run away. She turned to run back to Revello drive. No one was at the library, so maybe someone was at her house.
///////////////////////////////
Angel arrived at the library seconds after Buffy's departure through the wall. He put Cordelia back on the floor where she promptly slapped him.
*Thwack*
"What took you so long? God, I could have walked here faster."
Angel rubbed the back of his head where Cordelia smacked hit and sat down at the table. "I wanted to make sure that we didn't run into any demons or pirates. But don't worry, everyone should be here soon."
Cordelia nodded. "Yeah its like the library, where else do they go?"
////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ethan smirked as he walked behind the statue of Janus. "What? No hug? I see being in America has ruined your good manners."
Giles walked closer to him. "I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne."
Ethan shrugged his shoulders. "I'm usually very modest, but it's genius isn't it? The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'."
Giles sneered. "It's sick, ugly, and it harms the innocent."
Ethan shook his head and smiled. "No, its chaos, beautiful and brutal in nature." He sighed. "But don't worry, the demons wont overrun the town. They've got competition."
Giles' face contorted in anger. "What?"
The chaos mage smirked. "Oh, demons by themselves aren't very chaotic, just destructive. Which is why I added another type of costume readily available in stock."
Giles nodded, remembering what Buffy had told him. "Pirates."
Ethan smiled. "Yes pirates. But not just any pirates. These were the best of the worst. The entire crew was cursed by heathen gods to live as the undead."
Giles asked incredulously. "Zombie pirates?"
Ethan shook his head and laughed. "I'm getting a lot of that reaction. I just simply let the curse flow into the costumes. It was simple really, Chaos will allow anything with a balance to it. The pirate costumes were a perfect counter to the demon costumes."
Giles grabbed Ethan by the collar of his robe and growled at him. "Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back."
Ethan mocked him in a high-pitched tone. "Oh, Rupert, you're turning me on."
Giles punched him in the gut with a left, making him double over, and followed up with a right to the face.
///////////////////////////////////////////////
The battle was at a stalemate. The pirates couldn't be killed. The demons wouldn't back down. Several piles of dust littered the ground at Xander's feet. To his left was Willow. She had run out of ammunition for the pistols early on, and had picked up a large club to beat the demons with. To his right was Jack. He held his cutlass in one hand while pistol-whipping a large porcupine with the gun in his other. Behind him, Xander heard a menacing laugh. He turned to see the most evil, vile creature he had ever laid eyes upon.
"SHOOT IT!"
On instinct, Jack sparrow turned and shot the offending creature. He turned back to see a slightly shaken Xander continuing to fight off a large Rock Demon. He shouted across to him. "What was that about?"
Xander shook his head and motioned to the fallen clown behind him. "I don't like jesters or clowns."
Jack looked incredulous as he ran his sword through the Bull Demon's neck. "Why not?"
Xander replied seriously as he kicked the Rock Demon in the 'face.' "They're evil."
"Are not."
"Are so."
"Are not."
"Are so."
"Will you boys just be quiet?" Willow turned to face them as she clubbed a vampire unconscious before muttering under her breath. "And they call themselves pirates."
Xander kneed a vampire in the groin before turning back to Jack.
"They are so."
///////////////////////////////
Spike and his minions watched in shock and slight amusement as the pirates were seemingly able to hold their own against the attacking hordes. He turned to his lieutenants and sighed. "If you want something done right..."
///////////////////////////////
Out of the corner of his eye, Xander saw a familiar form lying on the porch of a house. He turned to Willow. "Elizabeth!"
She kneed the vampire she was fighting with in the crotch and dropped him to the ground. "Yes William?"
He dodged a flying vampire and stabbed it in the head before pointing to his right. "Look!"
She turned to see the blond girl from earlier lying motionless. She nodded and grabbed her club before following Xander to the girl's position.
Xander knelt down and hesitantly touched her forehead. Willow stood guard. "What are you doing?" she hissed.
"I don't know, I just thought that my hand might simply go through her."
Willow sighed and switched places. Xander stood up with his sword to guard the two women while Willow took over trying to wake the young woman.
///////////////////////////
Buffy watched in horror as she approached the battle. A leprechaun was being dropkicked by what looked like a Bath'aal demon before being shot in the chest by a large bearded pirate. Two other demons were facing off a young pirate with a large hat and dreadlocks. He seemed to be faring well against two Bull Demons until he looked over his shoulder to see her. He rushed over to her side.
////////////////////////
Xander turned back to face Willow. "Come on Elizabeth, I don't have all day." He turned back around to see a blond man casually walk over to him. He readied his sword. The man just smirked. "Well droops, what are you doin' out on a night like tonight?"
Xander cocked his head to the side. "Droops?"
Spike took a cigarette out of his jacket and lit it. "I suppose that youre one of those 'pirates' I keep hearing about?"
Xander smirked and motioned for Willow to take the girl into the house. "I was a pirate at one point and time, I guess you can say tonight, I fell back into bad habits."
Spike shifted into game face. "You aint the only one whelp."
////////////////////////////////
Buffy saw Xander and Spike face off against each other. She shouted, "Xander!" and ran towards the house. Jack looked at her retreating figure and sighed. "Everyone just loves the lad don't they?"
He turned to fight an incoming demon only to see a group of children sized pirates jump all over it and take it down by force.
"ROOARR!"
He turned to see a 5 foot 7 inch Godzilla reigned destruction down upon the smaller demons before chasing one that resembled a large moth.
Jack Sparrow decided to leave that one be and attacked a nearby group of vampires.
///////////////////////////////
Willow pulled the girl through the open door and set her on the couch. She trusted him to handle himself against any vampire or creature. She smiled as she reloaded her pistol. "Doesn't mean I can't help."
////////////////////
Spike grew furious as the boy kept dodging his attacks and slicing him with the sword. "I'm going to rip your bloody intestines out and shove them down your throat!"
Xander smirked and punched him in the face. "My don't you have a filthy mouth?"
They were interrupted by the form of a blond girl running in between them. "Xander run!"
Xander turned to the girl. "I'm not Xan...oh there you are."
Spike saw the opportunity to knock Xander over and lunged at Buffy only to pass through her and fall off the porch.
"Bugger."
Willow looked out the window and aimed her pistol
////////////////////////
Giles walked over to where Ethan was laying and kicked him in the face again. The bloody chaos mage rolled over and spit out a tooth. "That all you got Ripper?"
The librarian put his heel over Ethan's testicles and slowly pressed down. "How do I stop the curse?"
Ethan squealed in pain. "The statue, it's connected to the medallion, it's the focus point."
Giles picked up his foot and stomped on the man's chest, knocking the air out of him. He walked over to the statue.
////////////////////////
Spike growled and lunged toward Xander. Xander held back his sword preparing to strike. Willow tensed as she pulled the trigger.
///////////////////////
Giles threw the statue into the wall, shattering it.
//////////////////////////
*POP*
Willow looked at the pistol in confusion as the cork flew out. Spike growled as he felt something hit his left eye. Xander shook his head, clearing it before being knocked down by the blond vampire. "Bloody hell, you shot my eye!"
Xander pushed him off and sliced his arm. "No, I cut your arm."
Spike growled. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that one droops."
He lunged forward only to be knocked down by a very pissed off slayer wearing a sheet. Buffy tore off the ghost costume and threw him onto the lawn. "Hi honey, remember me?"
//////////////////////
Down the street, Andrew Wells took off his dreadlock wig and hat and ran away.
A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.
Updated:: Pairings/Crossovers: A little W/X for the people, the title kinda makes the crossover obvious
Updated:: A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete M. And thanks to Buffyworld.com for Halloween episode transcript.
A/N2: And very special thank you's to all my reviewers, thanks for the compliments.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dedicated to Eddie.
//////////////////////
Buffy ran through the woods back from the library. She didn't know where else to go. She was the Slayer for God's sake. How could she be such a wuss when at the first sign of trouble, when my powers are squat, I just freaking run away. She turned to run back to Revello drive. No one was at the library, so maybe someone was at her house.
///////////////////////////////
Angel arrived at the library seconds after Buffy's departure through the wall. He put Cordelia back on the floor where she promptly slapped him.
*Thwack*
"What took you so long? God, I could have walked here faster."
Angel rubbed the back of his head where Cordelia smacked hit and sat down at the table. "I wanted to make sure that we didn't run into any demons or pirates. But don't worry, everyone should be here soon."
Cordelia nodded. "Yeah its like the library, where else do they go?"
////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ethan smirked as he walked behind the statue of Janus. "What? No hug? I see being in America has ruined your good manners."
Giles walked closer to him. "I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne."
Ethan shrugged his shoulders. "I'm usually very modest, but it's genius isn't it? The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'."
Giles sneered. "It's sick, ugly, and it harms the innocent."
Ethan shook his head and smiled. "No, its chaos, beautiful and brutal in nature." He sighed. "But don't worry, the demons wont overrun the town. They've got competition."
Giles' face contorted in anger. "What?"
The chaos mage smirked. "Oh, demons by themselves aren't very chaotic, just destructive. Which is why I added another type of costume readily available in stock."
Giles nodded, remembering what Buffy had told him. "Pirates."
Ethan smiled. "Yes pirates. But not just any pirates. These were the best of the worst. The entire crew was cursed by heathen gods to live as the undead."
Giles asked incredulously. "Zombie pirates?"
Ethan shook his head and laughed. "I'm getting a lot of that reaction. I just simply let the curse flow into the costumes. It was simple really, Chaos will allow anything with a balance to it. The pirate costumes were a perfect counter to the demon costumes."
Giles grabbed Ethan by the collar of his robe and growled at him. "Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back."
Ethan mocked him in a high-pitched tone. "Oh, Rupert, you're turning me on."
Giles punched him in the gut with a left, making him double over, and followed up with a right to the face.
///////////////////////////////////////////////
The battle was at a stalemate. The pirates couldn't be killed. The demons wouldn't back down. Several piles of dust littered the ground at Xander's feet. To his left was Willow. She had run out of ammunition for the pistols early on, and had picked up a large club to beat the demons with. To his right was Jack. He held his cutlass in one hand while pistol-whipping a large porcupine with the gun in his other. Behind him, Xander heard a menacing laugh. He turned to see the most evil, vile creature he had ever laid eyes upon.
"SHOOT IT!"
On instinct, Jack sparrow turned and shot the offending creature. He turned back to see a slightly shaken Xander continuing to fight off a large Rock Demon. He shouted across to him. "What was that about?"
Xander shook his head and motioned to the fallen clown behind him. "I don't like jesters or clowns."
Jack looked incredulous as he ran his sword through the Bull Demon's neck. "Why not?"
Xander replied seriously as he kicked the Rock Demon in the 'face.' "They're evil."
"Are not."
"Are so."
"Are not."
"Are so."
"Will you boys just be quiet?" Willow turned to face them as she clubbed a vampire unconscious before muttering under her breath. "And they call themselves pirates."
Xander kneed a vampire in the groin before turning back to Jack.
"They are so."
///////////////////////////////
Spike and his minions watched in shock and slight amusement as the pirates were seemingly able to hold their own against the attacking hordes. He turned to his lieutenants and sighed. "If you want something done right..."
///////////////////////////////
Out of the corner of his eye, Xander saw a familiar form lying on the porch of a house. He turned to Willow. "Elizabeth!"
She kneed the vampire she was fighting with in the crotch and dropped him to the ground. "Yes William?"
He dodged a flying vampire and stabbed it in the head before pointing to his right. "Look!"
She turned to see the blond girl from earlier lying motionless. She nodded and grabbed her club before following Xander to the girl's position.
Xander knelt down and hesitantly touched her forehead. Willow stood guard. "What are you doing?" she hissed.
"I don't know, I just thought that my hand might simply go through her."
Willow sighed and switched places. Xander stood up with his sword to guard the two women while Willow took over trying to wake the young woman.
///////////////////////////
Buffy watched in horror as she approached the battle. A leprechaun was being dropkicked by what looked like a Bath'aal demon before being shot in the chest by a large bearded pirate. Two other demons were facing off a young pirate with a large hat and dreadlocks. He seemed to be faring well against two Bull Demons until he looked over his shoulder to see her. He rushed over to her side.
////////////////////////
Xander turned back to face Willow. "Come on Elizabeth, I don't have all day." He turned back around to see a blond man casually walk over to him. He readied his sword. The man just smirked. "Well droops, what are you doin' out on a night like tonight?"
Xander cocked his head to the side. "Droops?"
Spike took a cigarette out of his jacket and lit it. "I suppose that youre one of those 'pirates' I keep hearing about?"
Xander smirked and motioned for Willow to take the girl into the house. "I was a pirate at one point and time, I guess you can say tonight, I fell back into bad habits."
Spike shifted into game face. "You aint the only one whelp."
////////////////////////////////
Buffy saw Xander and Spike face off against each other. She shouted, "Xander!" and ran towards the house. Jack looked at her retreating figure and sighed. "Everyone just loves the lad don't they?"
He turned to fight an incoming demon only to see a group of children sized pirates jump all over it and take it down by force.
"ROOARR!"
He turned to see a 5 foot 7 inch Godzilla reigned destruction down upon the smaller demons before chasing one that resembled a large moth.
Jack Sparrow decided to leave that one be and attacked a nearby group of vampires.
///////////////////////////////
Willow pulled the girl through the open door and set her on the couch. She trusted him to handle himself against any vampire or creature. She smiled as she reloaded her pistol. "Doesn't mean I can't help."
////////////////////
Spike grew furious as the boy kept dodging his attacks and slicing him with the sword. "I'm going to rip your bloody intestines out and shove them down your throat!"
Xander smirked and punched him in the face. "My don't you have a filthy mouth?"
They were interrupted by the form of a blond girl running in between them. "Xander run!"
Xander turned to the girl. "I'm not Xan...oh there you are."
Spike saw the opportunity to knock Xander over and lunged at Buffy only to pass through her and fall off the porch.
"Bugger."
Willow looked out the window and aimed her pistol
////////////////////////
Giles walked over to where Ethan was laying and kicked him in the face again. The bloody chaos mage rolled over and spit out a tooth. "That all you got Ripper?"
The librarian put his heel over Ethan's testicles and slowly pressed down. "How do I stop the curse?"
Ethan squealed in pain. "The statue, it's connected to the medallion, it's the focus point."
Giles picked up his foot and stomped on the man's chest, knocking the air out of him. He walked over to the statue.
////////////////////////
Spike growled and lunged toward Xander. Xander held back his sword preparing to strike. Willow tensed as she pulled the trigger.
///////////////////////
Giles threw the statue into the wall, shattering it.
//////////////////////////
*POP*
Willow looked at the pistol in confusion as the cork flew out. Spike growled as he felt something hit his left eye. Xander shook his head, clearing it before being knocked down by the blond vampire. "Bloody hell, you shot my eye!"
Xander pushed him off and sliced his arm. "No, I cut your arm."
Spike growled. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that one droops."
He lunged forward only to be knocked down by a very pissed off slayer wearing a sheet. Buffy tore off the ghost costume and threw him onto the lawn. "Hi honey, remember me?"
//////////////////////
Down the street, Andrew Wells took off his dreadlock wig and hat and ran away.