Of Hearth and Home

Chapter Three: The Joker

Derek, for lack of a better name, sat smiling at Hank McCoy.

"Say ahhhh." Hank told him with tongue depressor in hand.

"Wah-ba-pa-lu-bop." He replied with a grin. (1)

Hank almost chuckled. "Right." He said. "Just open your mouth and stick out your tongue."

Derek did as he was told.

Hank examined him by penlight.

"And your vocal condition, has it been like this since birth?" Hank asked curiously.

Derek shook his head side to side, very slowly; a sly smile playing on his lips.

Hank smiled back. "I know. Pretty standard stuff, but anyone with a room needs to be checked out medically. Health code stipulation."

Derek nodded in understanding.

Hank picked up a needle and rubber strap. "I need to take some blood for a pathogen check."

Derek eyed him warily.

"That's Professor X, not the health department." Hank informed him.

Derek stuck out his arm and Hank tied it off and took the blood sample. A moment later Wolverine stepped quickly in to the room. Xavier followed solemnly behind him.

"Step back Beast." Logan cautioned.

Hank did as he was told but questioned. "What is it?"

"It's him." Logan gestured with a nod toward Derek.

Derek slid down off the table and smiled a guilty smirk.

"Easy there." Logan growled at him.

Derek smirked and pulled on his shirt.

"Don't move." Logan cautioned him with a warning hand between them.

"Logan." Xavier glanced between them. "Hold."

Logan stood ready.

"I trust you know what this is about?" Xavier asked Derek, trying to gauge his reaction.

Derek nodded and then turned to Hank. "Who made who?" Derek asked him, focusing on the blood sample. (2)

"Ah," Hank looked at the blood sample.

"Yes." Xavier brightened. "Indeed." He looked at Hank. "Please, continue with what you were doing." He nodded. "It may clear up a few things."

Wolverine hardened his Jaw. "And until then I'll be watching you." He told Derek.

Derek then spun in place on one heel and spread his arms as if to say "Watch away." The he turned on Hank. And pressed his finger to his lips. "Shhh…" He told him and then smiled.

A few hours later Hank slowly lumbered up to Xavier's office and stood humbly before Xavier.

"I'm sorry." Beast said softly. "But I have to respect his wishes."

Xavier looked stern. "Hank, I would hope that any threat to the institute or the students would …"

"Of course." Hank chimed in quickly and then fell silent again.

Xavier sat back and studied his friend. "I take it that he does not constitute any kind of medical threat to the institute?"

"Not that I could see." Hank kept his head low as he spoke.

"But you've learned more." Xavier asked.

"Yes." Beast agreed. "In fact …" He bit his lip. Doctor/Patient confidentiality was important to him. Particularly when pressed by a patient.

Xavier leaned in closer to listen.

"I would tell you if there was a threat." He said slowly. "So it stands to reason that, in my medical opinion … I think he has a right to be here."

Xavier sat back slightly stunned.

Hank shifted his weight from foot to foot. "The students or staff … they are allowed to have visitors … particularly … "

"Family?" Xavier half-guessed.

Hank looked over the tops of his glasses and met Xavier's eyes.

"Family." He confirmed.

"But … Who?" Xavier asked.

And Hank dropped his eyes again.

"Oh." Xavier smiled. "I see. That's what he's keeping quiet."

Hank let his casual glance betray his understanding.

"He wants to get to know … whoever … as a person first?"

Hank smiled gently. "I think it's actually more … complex than that. I think that he is … "

"Complicated." Xavier nodded. "I'm coming to understand that."

"What did he do Charles? Why is Wolverine downstairs in his full on menace mode while this man plays Chess with Kurt?" Beast shook his head.

Xavier smiled. "He slipped in to the mansion. System and all." Xavier told him. "I did not bring him here."

Beast cocked his head. "So where did he come from?"

"He arrived, strolling across the lawn, when Logan and Fury came back from their monthly debriefing about X23's disappearance." Xavier paused. "I thought he was with them. And Logan thought I had 'picked him up' during his absence."

Hank chuckled. "Right hand didn't recognize the left, did it?"

"And he took full advantage." Xavier noted. "We even assigned him a room because he ended up in line with one of the new recruits who wanted a room change."

Hank was laughing steadily now and Xavier smiled.

"It came at a bad time. My focus has been elsewhere." Xavier told him.

"I know Charles. But from my perspective, he just sidled up with his own personal agenda. I don't think he meant any harm."

"Possibly not." Xavier sighed. "I've been considering a mental probe to clarify things a bit."

Hank shrugged. "It's easier than talking to him."

"Understandable." Xavier admitted. "It must be frustrating."

"I don't even want to think about it." Hank shook his head. "I like to talk. I enjoy conversation. And I just wanted to ask him a million questions when I got the results of the blood tests and …"

Hank sighed quietly. "I only asked two." He swallowed. "He's just incapable of expressing language in the same way we do. Even though I am sure he did once. He might know your name, but calling you by it is out of the question."

"And yet, the lyrics …"

"Remain intact." Hank agreed. "And surface for a variety of reasons. He uses them to express his mood, and occasionally his opinions. Sometimes he'll recognize the pattern or beat of a song and start singing the lyrics." Hank shrugged.

"The upside is that Kurt seems to understand him just fine. They never shut up. He's been making Logan crazy . he cant follow the conversation."

Xavier smiled. "I think I'll meet with him in the morning. Would you tell him on your way out? Nine o'clock."

"Sure Charles." Hank smiled warily. "And try to get some sleep."

And as Hank slipped out the door Xavier turned his mind back to other thoughts and began to worry for his long lost friend.

Authors notes:

1) Tuity Fruity – Little Richard

2) Who Made Who – AC/DC