Title: Atonement
Rating: PG-13 (mild, non-graphic sexual content)
Chapter 7
Feedback: Yes please! Review or write to synth3sis@yahoo.co.uk.
Notes: Slightly longer chapter this time. Please enjoy, and review, even if you have done so already, since I need to know if I'm taking this in the right direction.

Chapter 7

Otacon could feel the cold of the snow under his feet, the cold wind of Shadow Moses Island chilling him to the very bone. The shot rang in his head again; he swore he would never be able to escape that sound, no matter how far he went or what he did.

Snake had killed her. Snake had betrayed him, in a sense. Knowing his love, he had still gone ahead and killed Wolf… his Wolf…

The dream changed, and he saw Wolf's eyes, cold and empty, "My life is empty," she had told him; "I live only for the dogs; they do not betray me and hurt me as humans do." Otacon had understood that; understood how it was to be shunned by humans. He too preferred animals to humans for company, and he'd found a kindred spirit in Wolf, a lost soul desperate for redemption, just as he was. He could not blame Snake for her death, as a soldier, he'd perhaps understood her better than he ever could have done.

Otacon had listened to her story as she lay dying, but it had been a long time before he realized death was her peace; life had only been filled with suffering. She had worked for Big Boss because he had given her a place to belong; she was bound to him for that, as Otacon was bound to Snake for saving his life and sharing his pain. Even after Shadow Moses had passed, he had not been able to forget that bond. When he was in trouble, he'd thought of Snake, and called Snake… and Leon somehow seemed to pale compared to that. Although he loved Leon, he'd been untruthful about a lot of things; although Leon had made him happy, he'd found himself filled with doubt and depression on many occasions because of him. He felt disillusioned that someone who he'd trusted with so much had turned on him in such a way. He knew his curse; all that were close to him suffered, and he couldn't help feeling that it was all his fault Leon had turned against him… Perhaps, if they hadn't suspected him so much…

Otacon felt himself shiver, and opened his eyes. Everything blurred into view in such a way it made him feel sick. He convulsed, and a glass of water was pushed to his lips.

"Drink," Leon said calmly. Wishing to calm the feeling of his stomach turning and somersaulting in different ways, Otacon took a sip, and then a gulp. His hand reached up and took the cup, and he drank more. He finished, wiped his mouth, and looked up at Leon.

"Leon, what's going on?" Otacon asked, still rather drowsy from the tranquilizer. He brought his knees up to his face, and looked at his surroundings; he was in an office very similar to that which he had at Shadow Moses, right down to the carpet tiles in different shades of green. The memory only scared him more, and he began to tremble.

"Hush," Leon said softly, and knelt down next to Otacon. Otacon wanted to turn away, to tell him to go away, anything, but he could not find the strength to turn away from his only security. Leon slipped his arms around him, and the warmth seemed comforting, safe, and secure. When he tried to tell himself it was all a lie, he was unable to believe it, and found himself nuzzling close to Leon, needing his closeness. Leon caressed his cheek gently, wiping away a tear that Otacon didn't even know he had shed. Leon's arms embraced him, trapping him with warmth and protection. His lips pressed against Otacon in passion and love, and Otacon felt his own body betraying him, clouding his doubts with desire.

"Trust me, Hal," Leon said, his voice soft and gentle, his eyes burning with intensity, "I will not let any harm come to you. I did it all for you, you know…"

Otacon found the man he wanted so much scared him. Leon looked at once seductive and frightening, a sweet smile evading his lips. His hands reached for Otacon, touching him in all the right places, those hands that knew him better than anyone making him moan.

"You want me, and I want you, Hal," Leon said, his voice sultry now, "We can do this together, we don't need to chase fate or listen to anyone else giving us a lecture on morality. Metal Gear can be ours, Hal… Then nothing will tear us apart."

Otacon forced himself to listen to his mind, "Metal Gear brings only destruction, Leon… Is that what you want, to bring fear to the world? You told me you'd turned your back on this project, why… why did you betray me?"

"I didn't betray you, Hal… I only want to give you all that you deserve…" Leon was stroking Otacon harder now, a smile of want and desire on his face. Otacon couldn't help but moan, Leon knew what he liked and took great pleasure in doing it.

"Metal Gear only brings sorrow… to all who are involved with it…" Otacon whispered; trying not to let Leon know how much pleasure he was receiving yet hiding it terribly. Tears built at the corners of his eyes, tears of pleasure and pain, of anger at his own weakness to Leon, despite all the pain he had caused him, he still felt himself yearning, wanting, desiring…

"You and I, Hal, we can take revenge on those who have wronged us, those who have hurt us. It is they who should atone for their crimes, not us!" Leon's voice was impassioned as he spoke the words, and he touched Otacon more. Otacon cried out as he reached climax, and Leon smiled. He stood up to leave. Otacon reached for him, but Leon backed away.

"I'll be back later," he said, "I just need to check on our "daughter"! Our dream will be fulfilled, Hal Emmerich, and you and I will go down in history!" He left the room.

Alone and frightened, Otacon's shed his tears silently. Where was Snake when he needed him? What was Leon going to force him to do? Why had he changed so drastically? Had he been blind to Leon's grand scheme all along? He pulled his knees back up to his chin, not even pulling his pants up. He felt dirty, and used; having been unable to properly speak his mind while Leon had been blinding him with desire. He assumed Leon had done it so that he would listen… He had been so weak, and so powerless… He beat his fists on the floor, unable to fight back the sobs that now racked his body. Leon had talked about revenge against those who had wronged them, but how did two wrongs make a right? Just what did he intend to do with Metal Gear?

Otacon fell into despair and didn't even think of finding a way out. His mind was filled with endless questions, and he gradually slipped back into sleep to be haunted by nightmares once again.

^*^

Snake woke to find his wrists and ankles bound, and a soldier stationed at the door. Whatever Leon had done, he hadn't underestimated him. He wondered where Otacon was now, and what he was doing. Was he bound too, or was he guest of honour? When it came down to it, what path would he choose? It hurt him to doubt his friend, more deeply than he cared to admit, so he decided to think about something else until the welcoming committee arrived. As it no doubt would in time.

He didn't have to wait long. Leon came sauntering through the door, gun in hand. Snake wondered if it were the end for him; Leon had never wanted him around, why would he start now?

"Solid Snake," Leon stated, his voice bold and arrogant, "Nice to see you again."

"So nice you brought a gun along to keep you company," Snake replied, no longer needing to hide under niceties. Even Otacon had to know now what a slimeball he'd been dating.

"This gun's just here to make you listen. The technique I used to make Hal listen I hardly care to use on you." He smiled, and made a motion with his hand to indicate what he'd done.

Snake gave him a look of disgust, "That's no better than rape!" he said, angry that this man had violated his friend.

"He could have pulled away," Leon said, "But he chose to hear me out. So I guess you're all alone, Solid Snake."

Otacon had betrayed him? He couldn't believe it, but he didn't know what to believe. He chose not to take anything as gospel until he got the full story from Otacon. He certainly didn't feel like trusting this guy, who had already proven himself to be a traitor.

"So, what do you have to say? I'm tired of the same megalomaniac routine. Let's see, you want to use Metal Gear to inflict fear and get revenge on someone who's wronged you, and you believe you're not taking orders from the top but in fact are?" Snake said sardonically.

"How'd you guess? Apart from the taking orders part, I work for myself. Of course, this is America's Metal Gear. I'm just borrowing it for a while with my little terrorist organization. It's about time people paid for all the suffering they've caused."

"Nobody's perfect, but that doesn't mean they need to die or live in fear of the nuclear threat." Snake replied, "You types are all the same; you all have twisted ideals that make you hypocrites. Didn't they teach you in school to treat others how you'd like to be treated?"

"The last person I need a morality lecture from is you," Leon spat, angrily, "You couldn't possibly understand the pain I've been through, the way people have treated me."

"You're right," Snake replied, "I don't have a clue what you've been through. But I've got a personal Hell of my own, and part of that is Metal Gear."

"Metal Gear doesn't need to be a curse… Just think, Solid Snake, what one could do with such a thing. The power balance needs to shift. No longer should we leave things in the hands of the "La-le-lu-le-lo"!"

"The what?" Snake asked, completely confused by this alien term.

"You'll learn all about them eventually, I'm sure," Leon explained, "For now, just think of them as the "powers that be". The ones who make the rules we have to follow. This is their Metal Gear, built for their twisted purposes. I'm just changing its purpose, Snake."

"Yeah, to take revenge, and you'll try to drag Otacon down with you!" Snake growled angrily, growing tired of conversation.

"Not at all," Leon replied, "Hal suffers the same as me; shunned by mankind, he searches for fulfillment. He thinks he can find it in being a philanthropist, but loving the human race that hurt him is just letting them win! They won't learn from his unconditional love! The world doesn't deserve Hal, and I'll teach him how to take revenge on those who wronged him!"

"You think that's what he wants, Leon?" Snake asked, "Otacon, despite having been hurt, still wants to make the world a better place. He chose this path; despite what you may think, I didn't brainwash him. We worked together to get out of Shadow Moses, and he made the decision to call me because he wanted to do something about this new Metal Gear!"

"You killed the woman he loved… and yet still he trusts you. Hal's naïve, Snake, and you've been using that to your advantage!" Leon pointed the gun at him, patience at an end.

"Think what you want," Snake said, "Only Otacon can choose the path he walks, and I think you'll find he won't co-operate with you easily."

"Enough small talk," Leon spat, "I'm the one asking the questions."

"Whatever," Snake said, "Just get it over with."

"Are you in love with Hal?" Leon asked.

Snake was shocked. He'd expected Leon to ask any number of questions about his military background, about his past with Metal Gear, but not this.

"I told you, he's a friend," Snake replied, "I like women, personally."

"Liar!" Leon scowled, and pulled the trigger.

^*^

Otacon was awoken by a gunshot and a scream. A male scream, so this time it wasn't another dream of Sniper Wolf's death…

It was real, and that scream…

"Snake!" Otacon yelled to himself, pulling himself from his sleepiness instantly. He pulled his pants up and worked out which direction the shot came from. Fear wrenched at his guts, wondering if Smake was alive… He didn't even know if he would be able to get out of the office, but he had to try. Rushing to the nearest door, he pulled it, and to his surprise, it was open. So Leon wasn't keeping him prisoner, he noted. The shot had been loud, as though it came from just a couple of rooms down the corridor. Otacon tiptoed down the stark hall, even though it was virtually free of guards. There was one, stationed outside the room he assumed Snake was in. He dived into an alcove, wondering how he was going to get into the room. He waited what felt like an eternity, and then the guard clutched his stomach in agony.

"Dammit!" he cried, "Not again…!" He broke into a run, and soon disappeared down the hallway, desperate to find a bathroom. Otacon couldn't believe his luck…

^*^

Snake clutched his right arm, blood pouring from the wound. He gritted his teeth at the pain, desperate not to cry out, to show weakness in front of Leon. Leon had shot through the cord that bound his hands, which was a small blessing, but his right arm was bleeding profusely and Snake knew he was in trouble if he didn't get it bandaged soon.

"I told you the truth," Snake groaned, "What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to leave us alone," Leon said, "I want you to throw away these petty ambitions of destroying Metal Gear, and just accept that it is the dawn of a new era in nuclear weapons! I created Metal Gear, and now the agents of the "La-le-lu-le-lo" are out of the way, I claim it for my cause; the annihilation of mankind for their sins!"

"You sound like some crazy cult leader," Snake scoffed, "Humankind can redeem itself; but that cannot happen without first making mistakes." He clutched his arm tighter, but the blood flowed through his fingers like water. He wondered how long he had to live; Big Boss's genes, no matter how resilient, didn't make him immortal.

"Atonement is not bought with violence and arrogance, but earned with humility and the wish to do good," Otacon piped up, standing in the doorway, his eyes filled with anger as he saw Snake's bleeding arm.

"H… Hal, what are you doing here?" Leon said, shocked by his presence.

"A gunshot woke me from my sleep, and it seems you forgot to lock the door." Otacon said, his voice hard and cold as Snake had never heard it before, "Let me treat him," Otacon demanded, looking at Snake.

"Have it your way!" Leon replied, backing down, "Since I can't trust you anymore, Hal, you are also my prisoner now. You should have taken my offer when I was feeling generous." Leon pointed the gun at him, backing off towards the door. He closed it behind him, and Otacon heard the lock click. They were trapped.

Otacon rushed to Snake's side, "My god, did he really shoot you?"

"Yeah," Snake replied, "Otacon…" Otacon nodded; he knew Snake didn't have much time.

"Where would the first aid kit be…?" Otacon mumbled to himself, pulling open cupboards frantically in his struggle to find something to help Snake. As he got closer to the last cupboard without finding a single thing, his search became more frantic and desperate.

"Don't give up, Snake!" he cried, seeing Snake look white from blood loss. If he didn't act soon, Snake would pass out. He didn't want to be alone, stuck in a place where every wall, every cupboard, even the smell reminded him of the horrors of Shadow Moses.

Emerging from the last cupboard with a relieved look, he rushed to Snake's side, putting down the green first aid box and opening it. He pulled out the gel bandages, designed to make the blood clot, opened the packet with his teeth, and wrapped it around the wound. He knew the bullet was still inside Snake's arm, but there was no time and no facilities to remove it. Snake nodded in understanding and leaned back against the wall. Otacon pulled off the rope that tied Snake's legs together, and tossed it aside.

"Where's my smokes?" Snake asked, and if the situation hadn't been so dire, Otacon would have chuckled at Snake's habit or given him a little lecture on the effects of smoking on the body. Right now, he was glad Snake was still alive, and reached into Snake's pocket to find his packet of cigarettes and lighter. Otacon lit a cigarette for him, and popped it into the corner of Snake's mouth, and Snake promptly lifted his left hand to move it. He inhaled deeply, and breathed out the smoke, feeling relieved.

"Thanks for coming to my rescue, Otacon. I never thought I would say that, but…" Snake chuckled to himself and changed the subject, embarrassed at his mushiness, "That boyfriend of yours is more trouble than he's worth."

Otacon sat back against the wall next to Snake, using it to prop him up, "I'm sorry, Snake… I was so naïve that I honestly believed he'd turned his back on Metal Gear. I can't believe I fell for it!" He shook his head and closed his eyes, resting his head back against the hard bricks, "Maybe I was wrong, Snake. Two people can't change the world, no matter what good intentions they have. Perhaps it's useless to try."

"Don't be like that," Snake said, "Yes, you are naïve, but it's refreshing to have someone with a positive outlook around. And the odds are always against us, but it doesn't make it impossible to make some change in the world. If odds were correct, I would have been dead a long time ago. About relationships… well, I hardly chose well when I fell for Meryl." He took another drag of his cigarette, and slowly puffed out the smoke.

"You mean that, Snake?" Otacon replied, reassured by Snake's words.

"Yeah, I mean it. Do you have an MRE? I feel weak," Snake said, and Otacon rummaged in his lab coat for a Meal Ready to Eat, the military rations that they took on every mission. Filled with all the nutrients any soldier needed for quick healing, Snake would have been dead long ago without them. Though how he managed to consume them during battles, Otacon could only guess. He pulled one from his pocket and gave it to Snake, who tore it open with his teeth and devoured the contents with amazing speed.

"Thanks," Snake said, "Now, can we get the hell out of here? I'd like to stop that crazy boyfriend of yours before he feeds everyone a nuclear diet."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Otacon replied, Snake's practical attitude and strong presence overriding the confusion and sorrow he felt at Leon's betrayal.

Otacon walked over and looked at the keypad, "Standard issue four-digit number code. The combinations are such that we might be here for a very long time. I could short it, but it's most likely connected to an alarm system that will be triggered by any tampering."

"How many tries do we have at the code?" Snake asked, squashing the butt of his cigarette into the wall for lack of an ashtray.

"I'd presume endless, but we can't risk more than three chances without triggering an alarm," Otacon sighed, thinking of possible numbers Leon might use.

"Well, you know him better than me," Snake replied, "This one's up to you."

Otacon typed in a number, and got a low beep and a red light, "Dammit," he said, "Should have known he wouldn't be that obvious."

"Take your time," Snake reassured, "Calm down and think it over."

Otacon backed against the wall and slid down it, deep in thought. It was many minutes before he stood up and inputted another number, only to once more get the beep of denial.

Sweat was breaking out on his forehead; he gulped, "There's only one more number I can think of that he'd use, unless he just randomly assigned a number… Shall I try it?"

"Might as well," Snake replied, knowing he wouldn't be able to come up with any better suggestions.

Otacon typed in the four-digit code, and a green light lit up; Otacon fell to his knees in relief.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Snake said, hauling himself to his feet, "What were the numbers, anyway?"

"The first one I tried was my birthday, then Leon's birthday. The correct one was the anniversary of our meeting, 0619. I knew he'd be obvious, but it makes me feel almost as if he wants us to escape, you know?" Otacon shifted his feet in nervousness.

"We'll cross that bridge when and if we come to it," Snake replied, and they left the room, Snake checking the corridor before jumping out. He beckoned to Otacon, and he followed along, a million thoughts racing through his mind.