Title: Atonement
Chapter 10
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: synth3sis@yahoo.co.uk or review
Disclaimer: Metal Gear Solid belongs to Konami, and Hal Emmerich (Otacon) and Solid Snake are not mine. Leon, however, is. The events that happen in this story are a work of fiction and anything that happens is NOT a reflection on any government agencies or what goes on in them. To be honest, I really don't know what they all get up to in their lunch hour, or even if they have one. :P All characters in this story are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Notes: The experiments that happened to Leon were not all my imagination; you might want to read this. (www)(dot)rense(dot)com(slash)general40(slash)bio(dot)htm (dot, slash etc represent the symbols, ff.net does not like links) If this is true, it's deeply disturbing, but if it's not, well, it fits well into a story such as this.

Chapter 10

The observation deck/control room wrapped around the Metal Gear, a spiral metal staircase leading around the giant war machine up to the deck where Leon now stood, surrounded by pictures and reminders of his obsession, his Hal. Gun in hand; he waited for the final confrontation. His senses told him that the moment of destiny would soon arrive, the moment when his dream would begin, whether he lived or died.

He laughed, for he had won. Metal Gear was ready for launch, its pilot created for the final battle. Humans would remember the day when the nuclear holocaust began for the rest of civilization's existence. Even if his father tried to interfere, Metal Gear could go into hiding. Hal's clone was intelligent enough to think of self-preservation, but hopefully would display none of the real Hal's emotional responses. He'd used the offspring of the technology that had been used on him, in a bizarre twist of fate. Ethics didn't matter to a broken man, for the end justified the means, even if it meant being as bad as those he intended to destroy. Once everything was gone, there would never be another him, never be another Metal Gear. Some people would survive, and perhaps next time they'd choose a better path for their brothers, born from despair, humans would be servile and filled with humility; instead of being arrogant and choosing to play God with their children.

The soldiers no longer swarmed the Metal Gear; they had retreated to the various control rooms, waiting to launch Metal Gear on his command. Now he was just waiting for his guests to arrive and witness the spectacle of the launch.

He saw two shapes beginning to climb the staircase and readied himself. He was calm; but a small part of him feared the disapproval Otacon would give when he heard his plans. If only he knew that all he wanted was a world full of people like him… and revenge on the ones who had abused their powers. Soon, he would know, and the end would come, for better or for worse.

*^*

It towered above them, the Metal Gear to end all Metal Gears. Giant rockets were on its back, ready to launch it upwards. A giant, presumably nuclear, missile was loaded on its back, making it a mobile weapon of mass destruction. Seeing this harbinger of doom brought everything into perspective, made all the suffering and fear they had been through seem worth it – they were going to destroy this terrible creation, and its destruction could only bring good to the world in the form of preventing a terrible new nuclear age. Despite all their flaws, both Snake and Otacon felt that people deserved peace and freedom from the fear that Metal Gear could bring to the world if it was revealed.

"This could spark the arms race all over again," Otacon said with a mixture of awe and fear in his voice, "Once the world found out about a weapon like this, every nation and state would be struggling to obtain the plans to build one of their own. This one is far more dangerous than Rex, by the looks of it."

Snake heard laughing from above. He pointed upwards, "We're expected, Otacon."

Otacon felt his stomach knot at the recognition of that sound, that voice that belonged to Leon, the man he had made love to and the man that had created those clones… It was hard for Otacon to think of them as the same person; and he knew if he thought too hard he would not be able to move forward at all. But the yearning in his heart for the truth burned at him and drove him to climb to the top, to face Leon as friend or foe; or both. He rushed forward, beginning to run up the spiral steps that led upwards, his feet clanging on the metal steps as he rushed upwards. Snake followed, wanting to keep up with the scientist that rushed into danger without thinking. But Snake knew that if he stopped, he would not be able to continue, and therefore did not call after Otacon. This was Otacon's battle perhaps more than it was his own, he had to face the truth, see it with his own eyes, experience it in order to accept it, destroy everything he wanted to believe in order to move on.

Snake stopped him just a little way from the top, and put the SOCOM into his hand, "This is your battle. Take it," he said, and pointed to his arm to indicate that it wasn't much use to him anyway. Otacon's hands closed around it, and Snake's hands rested on his. Otacon nodded slowly, and held the gun as he walked the final twenty or so steps to the top, breathing deeply, his body filled with adrenaline and fear. Snake was right behind him, supporting him, guiding the mission to its conclusion by his sheer presence. Otacon could not turn back, because Snake had faced fear, and he knew he had to as well. It was a man's fight, and his destiny awaited him. He climbed the past few steps and dived onto the observation deck, gun pointed forward. Not a word escaped his mouth, no shout of "Freeze!" as Snake would yell. The fact that he was pointing a gun at the man who had been his lover spoke volumes by itself, and words would have been forced and false.

"Hal…" Leon looked up from a science journal with Otacon on the cover, but kept his gun down. Otacon noticed the journal and looked around the walls… Everywhere he looked there were images of him, things he'd written, things he'd done… It was as if Leon had collected his entire life and placed it here… his history, all the things he'd done, all the things that pained him and that he regretted… all the things he'd been proud of and accomplished. Leon was obsessed with him, and Otacon was scared of this obsession that had prompted the man to collect an entire room of him… It was as if the man had stolen his very soul. Even Romanenko's book of the Shadow Moses incident sat on the desk; Otacon picked out a newspaper article of his father's suicide on the wall, and he shuddered.

"Leon," Otacon said, "You need help… I know you went through hell because of your father, but why…" He ran out of words to say, words to confirm all the thoughts that were running through his head. This room was the missing link between the lover and the villain he'd become, and in that moment it all struck Otacon with frightening clarity. He felt as if a dagger had been plunged into his stomach, such was the physical pain of his realization.

"Hal," Leon repeated, "Hal, you can still join me… With Metal Gear, I'm going to take revenge on all the people who have done us wrong! All the pain you've been through, my love… Wouldn't you like to see them pay for it? Wouldn't you like to see them suffer?"

"No," Hal said clearly and precisely, "I never want anybody to suffer as I have. Pain and sorrow… I wanted to destroy Metal Gear to atone for my sin against humanity, for I was the creator of Metal Gear Rex, as I told you, Leon. Metal Gear can only bring suffering to the human race. It has no capacity for good. I didn't realize this at the time… I didn't know the monster I was creating, but now I know, and I cannot let this Metal Gear be launched." He held the gun firmly, not letting his resolve waver, summoning every ounce of strength in his mind and body, "Revenge and arrogance only continue the cycle of suffering…"

"But the cycle can end! From suffering, from the ashes of mankind, will be born humility. No longer will arrogance rule the world; playing God will be over when humans have no power. I want to give humans a second chance to choose a path, a chance to atone for all the mistakes they have made. There will never be another me; I will make sure of it. Metal Gear will bring deliverance to mankind, and so will you, Hal!" Leon gestured to the cockpit, where a clone of Otacon sat blankly, connected to all the equipment, "Only your genetic code can activate Metal Gear, and I wondered if you'd co-operate… But only you have a pure enough heart to rain fiery justice on mankind; I wanted you to be the pilot, wanted you to survive and change the world…"

"I'm not what you think I am," Otacon said, lowering his gun hesitantly, "I carry as many sins, as much responsibility on my shoulders as anyone else does; perhaps more. Killing people doesn't give them a chance to change, and it doesn't breed humility, it breeds hate, as you have been bred to hate by your torturers." Otacon looked sad with the weight he carried, and his eyes were exhausted and puffy, as those of a man who had seen death.

Snake piped in, "As long as there are humans, there will be a struggle between right and wrong. We all have traits we're not proud of, but we should also have the chance to prove that we're not all evil, that we can make a good future for our kind." He put his hand on Otacon's shoulder, and Otacon nodded.

"Enough talk!" Leon said, taking the safety off on his gun, "I will not change my mind. You can only imagine what they did to me at DARPA. Demons like those cannot be redeemed. They tortured me and put implants in me; they raped me on their lunch hour as entertainment; they took away everything that I am and then abandoned me, not even having the honour to kill me! I am nothing but a lab rat, and my father will pay also for what he's done to me… The mighty Shalashaska indeed, he's nothing but a pawn of the government!"

Otacon and Snake's mouths fell open in unison, "Shalashaska… Revolver Ocelot!?" Snake said, unable to contain his shock.

"Yes… Arrogant pig always liked to call himself "Revolver"." Leon spat.

"You didn't tell me any of this…" Otacon said, his voice somewhere between anger and sadness.

"Would you have trusted me if you'd known? Would you have given me the gift of your love? Those were the greatest moments of my life, and the cost was worth it." Leon explained, and Otacon looked down at the floor, unable to look him in the eye.

The complex began to rock and shake, and Leon looked up in surprise, "What's going on?" he yelled into a radio, and a Russian soldier yelled back, "Ve're under attack! American bombers are coming zis vay!"

"Party's over," Leon said, and he yelled back into the radio, "Launch immediately! Send to the hiding place!"

"Ze hiding place?" the radio blared back, "Zat vill mean ze attack will not commence and vill be randomly scheduled!"

"I know that!" Leon yelled angrily, "It won't make it to New York being bombed by Americans!"

"Launching!" came back the radio, and it cut off.

Snake and Otacon heard the deafening roar of the boosters firing up, and they looked up to see the facility roof folding back, all of the floors parting to make way for the Metal Gear. It shot up, the sound making them cover their ears and shattering the glass of the observation deck. Snake rushed over and shielded Otacon from the falling glass with his body; he didn't even give a damn about Leon.

The building shock and rocked, taking the bombs as the floors closed up. Snake released Otacon and looked behind him. Leon pulled himself to his feet, but his skin was torn, his body was bleeding, what parts of it were human. His arm and parts of his face dangled wires and shorted… he was a cyborg, like something from an anime, part human, part robot.

"This is what they did… to create the perfect soldier," Leon said, "This is the truth that I hide. Half of me isn't even real, although it looks it, feels it, acts like it… They wanted to see how soldiers reacted to robot parts, so they could fit them and send wounded soldiers straight back into battle, and make stronger ones to do their bidding…" Leon didn't even look at himself, couldn't look at his true self.

"Hal, I am dying… There are more chemicals in me than in your average toxic waste dump, and this death is slow and painful, rotting me from the inside, taking my mind, my body… but I won't let them have my soul… Hal, kill me, end this tortured existence, please!" Leon begged Otacon, "Revenge is the only way I could keep living, it consumed me, gave me a purpose, and even now, I do not take back what I've done! At the appointed time, humanity will die, but I've left it up to God to decide when. There are millions, billions of numbers, but only one combination will spark a nuclear holocaust. I used the same program as that which Naomi Hunter used for your FOXDIE, Solid Snake." Leon looked at Snake, but Snake stood his ground, unflinching. It was for Hal to decide whether Leon should live or not.

"I should make you live… I should make you suffer for all that you've done, but that would make me no better than you or those who harmed you," Otacon said, pain filling his soul, "I will never truly understand you as I thought I once did, but that was another life." A tear rolled down his cheek, and he knew that if he didn't do it soon he would lose his nerve. Snake put his hand on Otacon's shoulder, but Otacon shook his head at Snake silent offer. No, he had to do it; he was the only one who could do it…

Leon slid down the control console, his strength fading, clutching at himself. Otacon knelt beside him, "Are you certain, Leon?" Leon nodded, "Please…" he begged, clawing at some unknown, invisible pain.

"Close your eyes," Otacon said, and gently pressed his lips to Leon's; even after all that had happened, he still loved him, and a part of him always would, no matter how twisted or obsessed he'd been.

"Hal," Leon said, "I love you… Thank you for understanding me. Now, please…"

Otacon couldn't do it, but he had to, he had promised, and could not take back his word. The battlefield had rules of its own concerning life and death, as Wolf's death had taught him long ago. And the first rule was mercy, mercy on the dying and the insane. Tears streamed down his face as he put the gun to Leon's head, forcing himself to be quick, for both of them.

"Goodbye, Leon," he whispered hoarsely, and pulled the trigger.