The light of the new day blinded my eyes as I walked down the road. I'm not sure how long ago it had been since I had seen the light. The natural light that kept us all alive. The mystified object, hung over the city, and yet the breeze of autumn sent a chill racing down my spine and through my bones. The coat wasn't enough to keep me warm, nor was the sun.
It was about two days since I had spoken to anyone about that night. Not my mom. Not Faith. Not Cruz or Swersky.
I stopped by the precient in hopes to get out, but Swersky turned me around and ordered me not to come back. And he meant it. I was really hoping to get a call though. I hated being off with nothing to do, trapped in my own thoughts. Alone.
As I headed down the street, I knew where I was going pretty well. It wasn't intentional but I knew what had to be done.
Standing in front of Saint Christopher's Church, I thought how ironic that name was. Leaning back on to the wall I checked my watch and noted the session would be ending in a minute or so. So I waited staring out into the new day, though the solemn expression on my face wasn't about to fade.
Several minutes passed before the doors open several feet away. Watching as a crowd of people rushed out, probably anxious to get home or to their jobs, I laughed to myself.
I never understood why some people believe they have to go to church, or for heavens sake, they might just be damned to hell. I mean, if they practically ran out, I wondered what the point was, and what would God say to that? But I'm not the religious type, and to tell you the truth, I don't care.
I knew she would be here. I knew she came here about two times a week on average since her sister died. I think she felt more guilt then anything; it was a way of praying for the pain to go away. I'm sure she learned pain never goes away. Ever.
I saw her walk out after a moment, a bit slower then the others, her hands sunken into her pockets as her gaze was parallel to the ground. I knew she saw me pretty well. It wasn't like I was hiding. As she passed me I could see her walking pace increasing, a glum look shrewd her face. Not letting her get away, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back, I hadn't came here for nothing.
"Listen." I told her austerely, still grabbing a hold of her arm. To my surprise she didn't fight but just pulled her arm away roughly, but didn't make any attempt to fleet my presence.
"We need to talk." I said, my tone softened a bit towards her. She didn't respond, just blinked and stared at me with an annoyed pout on her lips.
"You need to let 'her' out of this." I said in a hushed tone, though it was quite sharp and sterner then I wanted it to come out. For once, something out of my mouth sounded something like an order.
"What?" She spat at me. "Yokas?" Cruz laughed, her smile now twisted in an amused smirk. "You really think I'm going to let her get away with this?" Her face turned into a cold stare of piety as she watched me.
"You have to, Ritza. I can't live with myself if she goes to jail." I paused, "I can't."
Cruz let a small chuckle escape her lips. "You really are as stupid as you look." She spat to me before turning on her heel and starting to leave. My hand gripped her arm once again and she swung back in my direction with a look of repulsion and disgust.
"Don't make me do it, Ritza." I warned her, my face sincere as I let go of her arm again. "I'll tell them all, everything. From the dying declaration to the skels we locked up." I knew well enough that would be not enough. Not enough for her.
"Don't cha' remember whose name was on that report?" She hissed towards me.
I grimaced in silence.
"Are you serious? You'd go to jail, just to get Yokas off the hook?" Cruz laughed slightly. "You're bluffing."
"Faith is my best friend…it doesn't matter anymore, Ritza, it doesn't to me. It'd be great to bring you with me." I paused, my eyes scanning her slightly waiting for a response, "Does it look like I'm bluffing?"
"You have no evidence. If I deny what you say, it won't even get past the DA's office, Bosco. Don't waste your breathe." She scowled to me and finished it off with a sharp, "I'm not changing my mind."
I grinded my teeth and when I didn't reply she turned away and started walking down the pavement. I didn't stop her this time. "I gotta' be somewhere." She dismissed herself, gave me one last look, and disappeared into the ambush of people.
I cursed before starting in the opposite direction. I just wished things were 'normal' again. I'd die for the good ol' days, I really would, those days when I could actually smile at her or anyone else in that matter. The days when I could actually look back.
This time, I couldn't.
I went to tell her I was sorry. Hell, I knew she'd never forgive me, but I had to try. I had to let her know how much this was tearing me apart, eating me away. I wanted her to see me miserable. Just maybe it would make her feel better about herself.
She was too good of a person to feel bad about what happened.
So I did what I had to do and found myself standing outside her front door. I knocked gently on the door and waited for any sign of life.
Within a few seconds the door swung open.
"Can I please talk to her, Fred?" I asked my gaze glued to the floor.
"No." He spoke calmly. "She doesn't want to see you or have anything to do with you in that matter." Fred spoke, his voice filled with aggravation. "I believe she told you that, and maybe if you listened, this would have never happened to my wife." He scowled bitterly at me, his eyes staring me down like I was lower then him.
I grimaced, my hands sunk low in my jacket pocket, "Please, I just need to speak to her, come on Fred." I pleaded my tone soft. "I just need to tell her I'm sorry."
"Go away Boscorelli, don't come back." He warned me as he went to shut the door. I stopped it with my hand firmly. He gave me a look of disgust.
"Faith's going to go to jail if you don't let me help her." I spoke after a moment watching his face turn from anger to concern.
"What?" He shrieked in shock.
"The only thing we have that's keeping Faith out of cuffs in my word." I told him. "I really can't tell you much…I can't." I continued as he grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me backwards. I stumbled back several steps.
"Go! I don't wanna' see your face again. You hear me?!" He yelled.
With that I gave one last look into Faith's room. I had a feeling she heard everything. "I'm sorry." I spoke more to myself then anyone.
Walking closer to the door I ignored Fred's ominous glares, "Faith, you hear me? God I'm sorry!" I yelled into her room before getting another push backwards only this time it was rougher.
"Get out of here!" Fred yelled furious.
Sighing deeply I turned on my heel and walked down the hall. There was nothing more left to do but wait. Wait and see what happens, it was just a matter of passing time.