Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men. I should really make copies of this statement, maybe then you'll get it. I'm so sorry if you don't. x_0;;
Summary: No one at the institute trusts Logan anymore. He can smell their fear, and taste their hate. Now he's finally decided to do something about it to end his eternal grief.
Note: Ultimate Universe. Takes place somewhere during issue 38, and changes from there on, not following the issue. The song in this fic is 'Swallow the Knife', by Story of the Year.
Swallow The Knife: Chapter 1-Swallow The Knife
*****
So our open wounds will bleed until our veins run dry.
Now we have to take this thorn and tear it from our side.
Agitated at the fault line. Sill agreed to disagree.
You're connected to the heart, but tonight we'll set you free.
So swallow the knife. Carve the way for your pride.
xxx
Now our hands are tied. The problems lie within.
So we pray for night to start over again.
*****
After walking into the kitchen and getting looks from everyone as he entered the room, Logan quickly made himself a sandwich and grabbed a beer, then headed outside without a word to anyone. He hated the way they all stared at him like he would suddenly snap and kill them all. Maybe he should, that'd prove that they were right about him all along. Would they be happy then? Even Peter stared at him like he was a deserter, a murderer; and Peter was supposed to be his friend. Logan had no friends, and he probably never would, he just figured now was the time to except that and get over it. He looked up slowly as a scent caught his attention.
Jean descended from above, landing right infront of him where he sat on the stone wall. 'Oh great.' he thought bitterly. 'Here comes the part where she says she wants me dead ta my face.'
Jean stared at Logan for a minute, almost feeling sorry for him at the sad and grief stricken look in his eyes. She frowned, her eyebrows furrowed in an angered expression. Right then and there Jean hated Logan, she hated him so bad for what he tried to do to Scott she could've stopped his heart at that moment. She took in a deep breath and lingered there before she allowed herself to think again. She also realized that she didn't hate him, she felt sorry for him, almost concerned even, but not quite. "Aren't you going to apologize for what you've done?" she snarled.
Logan didn't even lift his head. He just stared at the half eaten sandwich on his lap. "Yeh, guess I should."
"Well?" Jean glared.
He shrugged half-heartedly, not meeting her piercing gaze. "What's the point? There's nothin' I'll ever be able ta do to make anyone 'round here stop hatin' me."
Jean frowned sadly. His tone sounded so defeated that she felt too bad to say anything more to him. She turned away and started walking back to the mansion, not even bothering to take to the air this time.
Logan sighed heavily, putting his sandwich aside and downing the rest of his beer in one gulp. He ran a hand ragedly over his face, then lazily stood up and began walking toward the treeline as the setting sun gave way to darkness.
*****
Even now as I write this down all pretensions disappear.
Now our impulses will bite at the ankles of our fear.
So swallow the knife. Carve the way for your pride.
xxx
Now our hands are tied. The problems lie within.
So we pray for night to start over again.
*****
The night air was getting colder, the grass was wet and the fallen leaves wafted around in the light breeze. Logan could care less about the leaves, the cold that was coming, anything really at all. He was sick of everyone hating him, sick of feeling grief all the time, even hating himself. He knew he deserved this, he deserved it all; every glare, every remark, even the fear. He knew it would just make everyone's lives easier if he were no longer around. It would make *his* life easier, and that was the worst of it.
Logan trudged further into the woods, tossing his leather jacket on the way, until he'd just about reached the end of Xavier's property, a steep cliffside that ended in a pile of jagged rocks and sea water at the bottom. He leaned over the edge, looking down as the water splashed up against bottom of the cliff, streaming upward from the rocks. He let out a long sigh, and wondered if the fall would even kill him, if it'd be as painful a death as he felt he deserved. Logan shook his head dejectedly and paced along the top of the cliff. He growled to himself, his inner beast calling him a chicken, a cop out. He bit down hard on his lower lip to stagger his thoughts, then turned sharply and moved under a tall pine tree. He knew what he was going to do, how he'd end it all.
Logan stood under the tree with his right fist pressed against the side of his neck, and his left poised in a position in front of his heart. He opened his sad eyes once more, staring into the darkness and wondering, hoping, that he'd be able to stop his heart long enough, or bleed to death before his healing factor had a chance to save his sorry ass. The muscles in his forearms twitched ever so slightly, releasing sharp adamantium claws into his soft flesh. He ripped his right claws outward, tearing away the entire front of his throat, then jammed his other clawed hand deeper into his chest cavity, plunging the blades right into his heart.
Logan dropped to the ground, fighting with all his strength to keep his claws from retracting, so they'd remain in his body and perhaps kill him. As his head lay on the damp grass, he could feel the blood gurgling up in his lungs, but there was no throat left for it to seep into his mouth. Just before Logan was overcome by a darkness that he wished to cause him death, he noticed the blood pooling around him, growing into a large puddle that looked like it'd go on forever. Then he closed his eyes, hoping never to open them again, and finally end his suffering, and the suffering he'd caused others.
*****
Now our hands are tied. The problems lie within.
So we pray for night to start over again.
Words are spoken. Words are broken down.
xxx
So let's make this night be our best mistake.
So let's take the time to wipe the blood away.
Now our hands are tied and our world is caving in.
*****
Note: I will continue upon request. Please review for more chapters! x_0;;
Summary: No one at the institute trusts Logan anymore. He can smell their fear, and taste their hate. Now he's finally decided to do something about it to end his eternal grief.
Note: Ultimate Universe. Takes place somewhere during issue 38, and changes from there on, not following the issue. The song in this fic is 'Swallow the Knife', by Story of the Year.
Swallow The Knife: Chapter 1-Swallow The Knife
*****
So our open wounds will bleed until our veins run dry.
Now we have to take this thorn and tear it from our side.
Agitated at the fault line. Sill agreed to disagree.
You're connected to the heart, but tonight we'll set you free.
So swallow the knife. Carve the way for your pride.
xxx
Now our hands are tied. The problems lie within.
So we pray for night to start over again.
*****
After walking into the kitchen and getting looks from everyone as he entered the room, Logan quickly made himself a sandwich and grabbed a beer, then headed outside without a word to anyone. He hated the way they all stared at him like he would suddenly snap and kill them all. Maybe he should, that'd prove that they were right about him all along. Would they be happy then? Even Peter stared at him like he was a deserter, a murderer; and Peter was supposed to be his friend. Logan had no friends, and he probably never would, he just figured now was the time to except that and get over it. He looked up slowly as a scent caught his attention.
Jean descended from above, landing right infront of him where he sat on the stone wall. 'Oh great.' he thought bitterly. 'Here comes the part where she says she wants me dead ta my face.'
Jean stared at Logan for a minute, almost feeling sorry for him at the sad and grief stricken look in his eyes. She frowned, her eyebrows furrowed in an angered expression. Right then and there Jean hated Logan, she hated him so bad for what he tried to do to Scott she could've stopped his heart at that moment. She took in a deep breath and lingered there before she allowed herself to think again. She also realized that she didn't hate him, she felt sorry for him, almost concerned even, but not quite. "Aren't you going to apologize for what you've done?" she snarled.
Logan didn't even lift his head. He just stared at the half eaten sandwich on his lap. "Yeh, guess I should."
"Well?" Jean glared.
He shrugged half-heartedly, not meeting her piercing gaze. "What's the point? There's nothin' I'll ever be able ta do to make anyone 'round here stop hatin' me."
Jean frowned sadly. His tone sounded so defeated that she felt too bad to say anything more to him. She turned away and started walking back to the mansion, not even bothering to take to the air this time.
Logan sighed heavily, putting his sandwich aside and downing the rest of his beer in one gulp. He ran a hand ragedly over his face, then lazily stood up and began walking toward the treeline as the setting sun gave way to darkness.
*****
Even now as I write this down all pretensions disappear.
Now our impulses will bite at the ankles of our fear.
So swallow the knife. Carve the way for your pride.
xxx
Now our hands are tied. The problems lie within.
So we pray for night to start over again.
*****
The night air was getting colder, the grass was wet and the fallen leaves wafted around in the light breeze. Logan could care less about the leaves, the cold that was coming, anything really at all. He was sick of everyone hating him, sick of feeling grief all the time, even hating himself. He knew he deserved this, he deserved it all; every glare, every remark, even the fear. He knew it would just make everyone's lives easier if he were no longer around. It would make *his* life easier, and that was the worst of it.
Logan trudged further into the woods, tossing his leather jacket on the way, until he'd just about reached the end of Xavier's property, a steep cliffside that ended in a pile of jagged rocks and sea water at the bottom. He leaned over the edge, looking down as the water splashed up against bottom of the cliff, streaming upward from the rocks. He let out a long sigh, and wondered if the fall would even kill him, if it'd be as painful a death as he felt he deserved. Logan shook his head dejectedly and paced along the top of the cliff. He growled to himself, his inner beast calling him a chicken, a cop out. He bit down hard on his lower lip to stagger his thoughts, then turned sharply and moved under a tall pine tree. He knew what he was going to do, how he'd end it all.
Logan stood under the tree with his right fist pressed against the side of his neck, and his left poised in a position in front of his heart. He opened his sad eyes once more, staring into the darkness and wondering, hoping, that he'd be able to stop his heart long enough, or bleed to death before his healing factor had a chance to save his sorry ass. The muscles in his forearms twitched ever so slightly, releasing sharp adamantium claws into his soft flesh. He ripped his right claws outward, tearing away the entire front of his throat, then jammed his other clawed hand deeper into his chest cavity, plunging the blades right into his heart.
Logan dropped to the ground, fighting with all his strength to keep his claws from retracting, so they'd remain in his body and perhaps kill him. As his head lay on the damp grass, he could feel the blood gurgling up in his lungs, but there was no throat left for it to seep into his mouth. Just before Logan was overcome by a darkness that he wished to cause him death, he noticed the blood pooling around him, growing into a large puddle that looked like it'd go on forever. Then he closed his eyes, hoping never to open them again, and finally end his suffering, and the suffering he'd caused others.
*****
Now our hands are tied. The problems lie within.
So we pray for night to start over again.
Words are spoken. Words are broken down.
xxx
So let's make this night be our best mistake.
So let's take the time to wipe the blood away.
Now our hands are tied and our world is caving in.
*****
Note: I will continue upon request. Please review for more chapters! x_0;;