Thanks To: Everyone who's reviewed so far! (jus' so I don't miss anyone) x_0; *hands Wolverinefan a tissue*
Val; In Ultimate X-Men, Logan has tried to kill Scott, and that's basically why everyone's pissed at him. Hope that helps with your understanding of the story. I hope you all review again! *passes out X-Men to everyone* They needta be back fer next week though! My Logan-muse will get lonely. x_0; heh. On with the chapter!
Swallow The Knife: Chapter 3-Until The Day I Die part 2
*****
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
*****
The blackness of the night had spilled into the day time, the dark cloudy skies and freezing rain reflecting the emotions of a very guilty soul. It was like the clouds were almost weeping for him, for her...for the both of them.
Jean hadn't slept since the team brought Logan into the mansion. Professor Xavier had warned the younger members to keep clear from the infirmary, the sight was just too grusome. She had to help Charles stabilize him, and clean up the wounds that hadn't yet healed, which was most of the mess.
*****
About an hour or so later, Jean had just finished tossing out the remaining blood soaked bandages and cleaned the floor from all the blood. She could still see it though. All that blood...just pooling around Logan's cold, stiff body. The Professor had concluded that he'd been there for several hours, just laying there, in his own blood, drowning in it, dying. Jean couldn't imagine how horrible that would be. She frowned and glanced at Logan just lying there in the med lab, tubes and wires all over the place, bloody bandages, big machines that continued to beep. The worst looking of it all was the tube down his throat, (or what was left of it) pumping air into his lungs so that he would breathe.
"Jean? You're still here?"
She turned around slowly, rubbing at her bloodshot eyes. "Yeh, I'm still here." she said quietly to the Professor.
"I assume since you were there, you know the wounds were self inflicted." Charles told her, his voice low and even. He sounded disapointed, and sympathetic all at the same time.
Jean glanced at the floor, her expression changing to anger. She clenched her fists by her side and frowned, meeting the Professor's steel gaze. "Why would he do this?"
"I think you know." he looked away and slowly turned his chair out of the infirmary. "I suggest you get some rest."
Jean let out a long, anguished sigh. She leaned up against the far wall of the infirmary and slumped to the floor, hugging her knees close to her chest. She wrapped her hands around her head and tugged at her hair like she was going to rip it all out. Jean clenched her teeth, leaning her head back against the wall. She knew why Logan tried to kill herself? But did she? Did she really know? Jean tried to understand it all, but everything just ended up giving her a bigger headache.
She was angry with Logan, angry that he tried to kill Scott back in the savage land, angry that he'd actually had the balls to come back to the team, angry that he'd left again, and angry that he was going to die. Or was he? Either way, she was angry that he tried to die. Jean was so mad that he could be so selfish as to kill himself off instead of facing what he did. But on the other hand, she understood him. It was partly her fault too, that he'd want to die. Ever since she'd accused him of killing Scott, before she even knew the truth, she'd treated him like shit. After that she treated him worse if that was possible. The entire team was against him now, and Jean realized that if she was in his place she'd feel like crap too, though she doubted she'd try suicide. But she wasn't in Logan's place, and she hadn't been through what he'd been through. She hadn't been treated like an animal, trained to kill. It was wrong of her to hate him for something he couldn't prevent himself from doing, something he felt remorse for, but still could never redeem himself.
Jean finally hoisted herself up from the floor, then passed Logan's bedside without looking at him. She couldn't bring herself to see him like that anymore. She ran a hand through her hair and decided to change out of the medical scrubs and take a hot shower before getting some sleep.
*****
Should I bite my tongue until blood soaks my shirt?
We'll never fall apart, so tell me why this hurts so much.
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you,
but still we'll say "remember when" just like we always do.
xxx
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
Yeah I'd spill, my heart, Yeah I'd spill my heart for you.
*****
Logan began to feel himself reaching into consciousness. He was pissed that he felt this way at all, he should be dead, he wanted to be dead...but his hapless healing factor just managed to save his ass again.
"Professor, he's waking up."
"Logan?"
'Damn. Chuck and Jean. Were they the ones that brought me back to life? They should have left me, let me die. Everything would be better that way. For everybody.' Logan slowly began to open his eyes, but everything seemed black and white, in slow motion, and the voices sounded muffled. Every breath he took caused him more pain, probably because his throat wasn't done healing yet, and his chest felt like it was going to implode. Atleast the tube was out of his throat and most of the extra monitors were gone.
"Professor, I don't think he can talk." Jean glanced at Charles after watching Logan struggle awake.
Charles nodded. "Logan if you can hear me, blink twice."
He went along with it, blinking two times to let ol' Chuck know he was still kickin'. Logan let out a strangled grunt as he felt the chords in his throat fixing themselves, and he clenched his eyes shut. He wanted to say something, to tell them to put him out of everyone's misery, to kill him, but that would have to wait until he could actually talk. He let his head tilt to the side as he felt his consciousness slipping away again.
*****
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes, mistakes like friends do.
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes.
Val; In Ultimate X-Men, Logan has tried to kill Scott, and that's basically why everyone's pissed at him. Hope that helps with your understanding of the story. I hope you all review again! *passes out X-Men to everyone* They needta be back fer next week though! My Logan-muse will get lonely. x_0; heh. On with the chapter!
Swallow The Knife: Chapter 3-Until The Day I Die part 2
*****
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
*****
The blackness of the night had spilled into the day time, the dark cloudy skies and freezing rain reflecting the emotions of a very guilty soul. It was like the clouds were almost weeping for him, for her...for the both of them.
Jean hadn't slept since the team brought Logan into the mansion. Professor Xavier had warned the younger members to keep clear from the infirmary, the sight was just too grusome. She had to help Charles stabilize him, and clean up the wounds that hadn't yet healed, which was most of the mess.
*****
About an hour or so later, Jean had just finished tossing out the remaining blood soaked bandages and cleaned the floor from all the blood. She could still see it though. All that blood...just pooling around Logan's cold, stiff body. The Professor had concluded that he'd been there for several hours, just laying there, in his own blood, drowning in it, dying. Jean couldn't imagine how horrible that would be. She frowned and glanced at Logan just lying there in the med lab, tubes and wires all over the place, bloody bandages, big machines that continued to beep. The worst looking of it all was the tube down his throat, (or what was left of it) pumping air into his lungs so that he would breathe.
"Jean? You're still here?"
She turned around slowly, rubbing at her bloodshot eyes. "Yeh, I'm still here." she said quietly to the Professor.
"I assume since you were there, you know the wounds were self inflicted." Charles told her, his voice low and even. He sounded disapointed, and sympathetic all at the same time.
Jean glanced at the floor, her expression changing to anger. She clenched her fists by her side and frowned, meeting the Professor's steel gaze. "Why would he do this?"
"I think you know." he looked away and slowly turned his chair out of the infirmary. "I suggest you get some rest."
Jean let out a long, anguished sigh. She leaned up against the far wall of the infirmary and slumped to the floor, hugging her knees close to her chest. She wrapped her hands around her head and tugged at her hair like she was going to rip it all out. Jean clenched her teeth, leaning her head back against the wall. She knew why Logan tried to kill herself? But did she? Did she really know? Jean tried to understand it all, but everything just ended up giving her a bigger headache.
She was angry with Logan, angry that he tried to kill Scott back in the savage land, angry that he'd actually had the balls to come back to the team, angry that he'd left again, and angry that he was going to die. Or was he? Either way, she was angry that he tried to die. Jean was so mad that he could be so selfish as to kill himself off instead of facing what he did. But on the other hand, she understood him. It was partly her fault too, that he'd want to die. Ever since she'd accused him of killing Scott, before she even knew the truth, she'd treated him like shit. After that she treated him worse if that was possible. The entire team was against him now, and Jean realized that if she was in his place she'd feel like crap too, though she doubted she'd try suicide. But she wasn't in Logan's place, and she hadn't been through what he'd been through. She hadn't been treated like an animal, trained to kill. It was wrong of her to hate him for something he couldn't prevent himself from doing, something he felt remorse for, but still could never redeem himself.
Jean finally hoisted herself up from the floor, then passed Logan's bedside without looking at him. She couldn't bring herself to see him like that anymore. She ran a hand through her hair and decided to change out of the medical scrubs and take a hot shower before getting some sleep.
*****
Should I bite my tongue until blood soaks my shirt?
We'll never fall apart, so tell me why this hurts so much.
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you,
but still we'll say "remember when" just like we always do.
xxx
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
Until the day I die-I'll spill my heart for you.
Yeah I'd spill, my heart, Yeah I'd spill my heart for you.
*****
Logan began to feel himself reaching into consciousness. He was pissed that he felt this way at all, he should be dead, he wanted to be dead...but his hapless healing factor just managed to save his ass again.
"Professor, he's waking up."
"Logan?"
'Damn. Chuck and Jean. Were they the ones that brought me back to life? They should have left me, let me die. Everything would be better that way. For everybody.' Logan slowly began to open his eyes, but everything seemed black and white, in slow motion, and the voices sounded muffled. Every breath he took caused him more pain, probably because his throat wasn't done healing yet, and his chest felt like it was going to implode. Atleast the tube was out of his throat and most of the extra monitors were gone.
"Professor, I don't think he can talk." Jean glanced at Charles after watching Logan struggle awake.
Charles nodded. "Logan if you can hear me, blink twice."
He went along with it, blinking two times to let ol' Chuck know he was still kickin'. Logan let out a strangled grunt as he felt the chords in his throat fixing themselves, and he clenched his eyes shut. He wanted to say something, to tell them to put him out of everyone's misery, to kill him, but that would have to wait until he could actually talk. He let his head tilt to the side as he felt his consciousness slipping away again.
*****
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes, mistakes like friends do.
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes.