Thanks To: Everyone who's ever reviewed and stuck with the story! Here's the last chapter, I hope you guys like it.
Note:The song in this chap. is 'Falling Down' by Story of the Year.
Swallow The Knife: Chapter 8-Falling Down
*****
Now I can taste the war that I've been fighting.
Start to fall but I'm still standing here behind the wall of dying faith.
I can't forget the fight that's growing stronger.
Face to face with hopes of longer days to build on something we should save.
*****
The Danger Room-
Rogue couldn't yet trust Logan not to let himself get hurt in a regular training simulation, so she set the danger room up as a gym and sat on a bench watching him relay his anger on a punching bag.
Logan repeatedly slammed his bare fists into the bag with enough force to knock through a wall. He could feel the skin on his knuckles tearing from the rough bag, but he didn't care, he was angry and confused, so he needed to resort to violence, the only thing Logan knew to do. He realized that he didn't have his full strength back, but he strained his muscles and every fiber of his being anyway.
Rogue watched him sadly, staring at the blur of his hands as they continued to slam into the punching back. She noticed the sweat pouring down his face and spotted drops of blood on the floor. Rogue stood up and hesitantly moved closer to him. "Logan?"
He didn't seem to acknowledge her and kept punching the lifeless bag, his eyes cold and unfocused in a fit of rage. Logan was angry about a lot of things, one of which that he couldn't seem to die, and another thing that would leave him feeling guilty if he did die because of Rogue. He couldn't seem to understand why she had appeared to grow closer to him after he touched her, and why he felt closer to her in return.
*****
I stand alone. I'm on my own. My hands will bleed.
I'm holding on to what is gone.
What's left of me?
*****
"Logan!" Rogue called to him louder, afraid to move closer in fear that he might accidently turn on her in his moment of relentless rage.
Logan started to hear Rogue calling him through his anger fogged mind, but his rage seemed to be the only thing that was keeping him standing, and with all the energy gone he started to slump to the ground as soon as he stopped punching the bag. Logan slowly dropped to the floor, barely keeping himself sitting up. His hands were bloodied, but the gashes and scrapes on his knuckles soon disappeared.
"Logan?" Rogue sadly knelt beside him, staring at his hands that were soaked with blood, along with a puddle of the crimson liquid on the danger room floor.
"What?" Logan grumbled gruffly, panting as he caught his breath and slowly met Rogue's gaze.
"When are ya gonna stop punishin' yurself?" she asked sadly, lifting one of his bloody hands, then letting go as soon as he pulled away.
Logan scowled, glaring down at the floor. "When I think I don't deserve it." he rumbled with a growl.
Rogue sighed, looking to him sadly. "But you don't deserve it." she shook her head.
He frowned, then faced her. "Yeh, right. I tried ta kill Cyclops, jus' fer Jean, an' it wasn't even worth it!" Logan raised his voice. "Fuck, Rogue, I don't even really love her! I never did..." he started to lower his tone again, staring at his hands. "I only chased after Red 'cuz it pissed off Scooter an' gave me somethin' ta do." he shook his head, mumbling lowly to himself. "It wasn't even worth it."
*****
I'm falling down.
But I should find my strength in this:
a light that burns to reconnect my heart for what it's meant to give.
xxx
I stand alone. I'm on my own. My hands will bleed.
I'm holding on to what is gone.
What's left of me?
*****
The Kitchen-
Rogue stared across the table at Logan as he silently devoured a sandwich. He hadn't spoken much to her since the danger room, and for some odd reason, she was almost relieved. She needed time to think about what was going on between the two of them, what was going on in Logan's head, his battle with himself. Whatever it was, Rogue felt like she needed to get him through this. "Hey," she finally broke the silence. "I got a question fur ya...and uh, it's kinda silly though."
Logan swallowed the rest of his sandwich and looked up, wiping the crumbs from his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He raised an eyebrow, his eyes cold and hard, but that didn't seem to bother Rogue. "Yeh, well what is it?"
She rolled her eyes at his gruffness, then spoke almost bashfully. "You an' me...I mean...do ya consider us...friends?" she asked, leaning up against the table.
Logan just stared blankly for a long moment. Rogue's question had taken him by surprise, he really didn't expect her to ask anything like that. His eyebrows furrowed, and he searched her expression for the correct responce, not finding it. "What do you think?"
Rogue smiled tightly. "Well, I...I do, I really do. I consider us close friends even."
Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat, pushing the vacant plate away from him. He sighed with a short laugh that caught Rogue off guard. He even seemed to smile a bit. "Haven't really had any o' those."
Rogue smiled proudly, putting a gloved hand over his, glad that he didn't pull away. "Well, now ya do." she looked into his eyes, finding them beginning to soften. "I've been in yur head, I know what you've done...and that doesn't make me like ya any less...but more. Yur a strong person Logan, an' I like that about ya."
Logan seemed to grin slightly, he could sense that the girl was telling the truth.
Rogue pressed on with the real question she'd been meaning to ask, hoping for him to help her out with this. She slowly pulled her hand away and leaned back in her chair. "So...have ya found yur will ta live yet?"
Logan met her gaze, staring at her evenly. He let out an exasperated sigh and smiled a bit at Rogue, a livliness returning to his eyes. "Thanks ta you...I'm gettin' there."
*****
Walk. Fall. Stand again so I can...
Walk. Fall. Stand again so I can...
Walk. Fall. Stand again so I can...fall.
xxx
I stand alone. I'm on my own. My hands will bleed.
I'm holding on to what is gone.
What's left of me?
*****The End*****
Note: Well, I'm all finished. The ending pretty much leaves things open to yer imagination, but ya pretty much get the message I hope. x_0 lol. I decided not to have a Logan/Rogue relationship goin', but instead leave it for the beginning of what will blossom into a closer friendship. Please review!
Note:The song in this chap. is 'Falling Down' by Story of the Year.
Swallow The Knife: Chapter 8-Falling Down
*****
Now I can taste the war that I've been fighting.
Start to fall but I'm still standing here behind the wall of dying faith.
I can't forget the fight that's growing stronger.
Face to face with hopes of longer days to build on something we should save.
*****
The Danger Room-
Rogue couldn't yet trust Logan not to let himself get hurt in a regular training simulation, so she set the danger room up as a gym and sat on a bench watching him relay his anger on a punching bag.
Logan repeatedly slammed his bare fists into the bag with enough force to knock through a wall. He could feel the skin on his knuckles tearing from the rough bag, but he didn't care, he was angry and confused, so he needed to resort to violence, the only thing Logan knew to do. He realized that he didn't have his full strength back, but he strained his muscles and every fiber of his being anyway.
Rogue watched him sadly, staring at the blur of his hands as they continued to slam into the punching back. She noticed the sweat pouring down his face and spotted drops of blood on the floor. Rogue stood up and hesitantly moved closer to him. "Logan?"
He didn't seem to acknowledge her and kept punching the lifeless bag, his eyes cold and unfocused in a fit of rage. Logan was angry about a lot of things, one of which that he couldn't seem to die, and another thing that would leave him feeling guilty if he did die because of Rogue. He couldn't seem to understand why she had appeared to grow closer to him after he touched her, and why he felt closer to her in return.
*****
I stand alone. I'm on my own. My hands will bleed.
I'm holding on to what is gone.
What's left of me?
*****
"Logan!" Rogue called to him louder, afraid to move closer in fear that he might accidently turn on her in his moment of relentless rage.
Logan started to hear Rogue calling him through his anger fogged mind, but his rage seemed to be the only thing that was keeping him standing, and with all the energy gone he started to slump to the ground as soon as he stopped punching the bag. Logan slowly dropped to the floor, barely keeping himself sitting up. His hands were bloodied, but the gashes and scrapes on his knuckles soon disappeared.
"Logan?" Rogue sadly knelt beside him, staring at his hands that were soaked with blood, along with a puddle of the crimson liquid on the danger room floor.
"What?" Logan grumbled gruffly, panting as he caught his breath and slowly met Rogue's gaze.
"When are ya gonna stop punishin' yurself?" she asked sadly, lifting one of his bloody hands, then letting go as soon as he pulled away.
Logan scowled, glaring down at the floor. "When I think I don't deserve it." he rumbled with a growl.
Rogue sighed, looking to him sadly. "But you don't deserve it." she shook her head.
He frowned, then faced her. "Yeh, right. I tried ta kill Cyclops, jus' fer Jean, an' it wasn't even worth it!" Logan raised his voice. "Fuck, Rogue, I don't even really love her! I never did..." he started to lower his tone again, staring at his hands. "I only chased after Red 'cuz it pissed off Scooter an' gave me somethin' ta do." he shook his head, mumbling lowly to himself. "It wasn't even worth it."
*****
I'm falling down.
But I should find my strength in this:
a light that burns to reconnect my heart for what it's meant to give.
xxx
I stand alone. I'm on my own. My hands will bleed.
I'm holding on to what is gone.
What's left of me?
*****
The Kitchen-
Rogue stared across the table at Logan as he silently devoured a sandwich. He hadn't spoken much to her since the danger room, and for some odd reason, she was almost relieved. She needed time to think about what was going on between the two of them, what was going on in Logan's head, his battle with himself. Whatever it was, Rogue felt like she needed to get him through this. "Hey," she finally broke the silence. "I got a question fur ya...and uh, it's kinda silly though."
Logan swallowed the rest of his sandwich and looked up, wiping the crumbs from his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He raised an eyebrow, his eyes cold and hard, but that didn't seem to bother Rogue. "Yeh, well what is it?"
She rolled her eyes at his gruffness, then spoke almost bashfully. "You an' me...I mean...do ya consider us...friends?" she asked, leaning up against the table.
Logan just stared blankly for a long moment. Rogue's question had taken him by surprise, he really didn't expect her to ask anything like that. His eyebrows furrowed, and he searched her expression for the correct responce, not finding it. "What do you think?"
Rogue smiled tightly. "Well, I...I do, I really do. I consider us close friends even."
Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat, pushing the vacant plate away from him. He sighed with a short laugh that caught Rogue off guard. He even seemed to smile a bit. "Haven't really had any o' those."
Rogue smiled proudly, putting a gloved hand over his, glad that he didn't pull away. "Well, now ya do." she looked into his eyes, finding them beginning to soften. "I've been in yur head, I know what you've done...and that doesn't make me like ya any less...but more. Yur a strong person Logan, an' I like that about ya."
Logan seemed to grin slightly, he could sense that the girl was telling the truth.
Rogue pressed on with the real question she'd been meaning to ask, hoping for him to help her out with this. She slowly pulled her hand away and leaned back in her chair. "So...have ya found yur will ta live yet?"
Logan met her gaze, staring at her evenly. He let out an exasperated sigh and smiled a bit at Rogue, a livliness returning to his eyes. "Thanks ta you...I'm gettin' there."
*****
Walk. Fall. Stand again so I can...
Walk. Fall. Stand again so I can...
Walk. Fall. Stand again so I can...fall.
xxx
I stand alone. I'm on my own. My hands will bleed.
I'm holding on to what is gone.
What's left of me?
*****The End*****
Note: Well, I'm all finished. The ending pretty much leaves things open to yer imagination, but ya pretty much get the message I hope. x_0 lol. I decided not to have a Logan/Rogue relationship goin', but instead leave it for the beginning of what will blossom into a closer friendship. Please review!