Title: Bittersweet Memories (formerly To Say Goodbye)
Author: Loisarah (With excerpts by William F. Messner-Loebs from Comico's
Jonny Quest #2 (have ** by them))
Disclaimer: I am writing this out of affection for these characters and do
not own them, nor am I making any money off them.
Summary: Someone needs to say goodbye
Categories: Hmmm. angst, past
Feedback: To Loisarah@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic I ever wrote. Edited many times
since then, but hopefully this is my very last edit.
"Benton? Why are you still awake?"
Dr. Benton Quest turned around, ceasing work on his computer for a moment to look up at his wife. She stood watching him, hands on her hips and a concerned look on her face.
"Rachel, just a few more minutes, I want to get this done tonight."
"Benton, it's 3 AM!" Her expression softened, and she continued, "I know you are anxious to establish a reputation and save the world, but even a mad scientist needs his sleep!"
Benton grinned back at Rachel and looked down at his watch. He was quite tired, and he might as well continue tomorrow. He looked back up at Rachel. She was watching him nervously, as if she had something to tell him, but didn't know how to say it.
"Rach, is something wrong? You look nervous."
"Ben, I wouldn't say anything is necessarily 'wrong,'" she took a deep breath, "I. I know we didn't plan this, and we haven't been married that long yet, but. I'm pregnant."
Benton's jaw dropped and he looked his wife up and down. "Are. are. are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Oh, my."
Rachel watched Benton sink into his chair with a rather blank look on his face.
"Benton, dear, are you all right?" She knelt down in front of him, reaching out for his hands to hold. "Benton, say something, please."
He looked at his wife, stood up, pulled her up into an embrace, and whispered, "I love you," into her ear.
*****
The sun slowly rose in the early Maine sky, shining into the bedroom of Dr. Quest as he slowly stirred, murmuring, "Rachel. Rachel. Rachel." then woke with a start, remembering his dream. Rachel's dead, his dream had been nothing more than a bittersweet memory. With a great deal of effort, he sat up, got out of bed, and showered.
*****
Later that morning Benton was in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee. As he walked toward the refrigerator he glanced at the magnetic calendar and stopped short. June 5th! How could he have forgotten? His mind drifted back again, this time to an early summer afternoon, years before.
He stood beside Rachel, as beautiful as ever in her wedding dress. Benton held her hand, unable to believe this was actually happening. She was marrying him! That wonderful, adventurous, incredible woman. She squeezed his had, and he looked from her hands to her face. She smiled at him, the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.
*****
The sound of footsteps down the stairs of the Quest compound brought Benton back from his reverie. Jonny stood watching in the doorway.
"Dad? Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?" he snapped, instantly regretting it. "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm fine. I. I think I'll go work in the lighthouse today. Tell Jessie and Hadji they have the day off."
"Okay, Dad."
Benton left the main house, and Jonny watched him walk to the lighthouse through the kitchen window. 'He called me Jack, just like Mom used to.'
Jessie and Hadji came downstairs and stood beside Jonny at the window.
"Dr. Quest left already to work on the Questworld modifications? Hadji and I were supposed to help him today!"
Jonny slowly turned to face his friends. "He said you had the day off."
"The day off? Why?" asked Hadji.
"I think he wants to be alone today." he paused, "today is, or was, his and my mother's anniversary."
*****
Benton sat in front of his computer, not working, just sitting, thinking. his mind wandered to when he'd first met her.
The words in the book he was reading, or rather trying to read kept running together. He couldn't keep his mind off the woman he'd seen earlier. He'd asked around and found out her name was Rachel. Rachel Wildey. Benton believed she was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. It wasn't just her features, it was that her face seemed to express her sense of adventure, her fun and vitality. 'Maybe I should ask her out,' he thought.
As he fondly pondered this concept the woman in question nervously walked up to him.
"Excuse me, Benton? Is this seat taken?" Without waiting for a reply Rachel Wildey sat across the narrow picnic table from Benton. He immediately became flustered, madly shuffling his books and papers around, desperately hoping he didn't seem as much of a nerd as he felt he was. God, how she made him nervous! How could he even dream of asking her out?
"I'm sorry, I hope I don't seem too forward, but I noticed you sitting in on one of my classes today. Someone told me you were Benton Quest, the genius grad student," she laughed, "I decided I had to meet you. Now I can tell my future children I once talked to a genius!"
"A genius?" Benton became even more flustered. "Oh, I'd hardly say I'm a." his face turned bright red, "a genius." He looked up at her, and she smiled back.
"No, Rachel, I'm not a genius."
"You know my name?"
'Damn,' he thought, then countered with, "Why not? You knew mine!" This time, it was her turn to blush.
"Would you like to go for a stroll around campus with me, Rachel?"
She smiled at him again. "I'd love to, Benton."
*****
With a start, Benton realized he'd had another flashback, about Rachel. It was almost as if she had been haunting him that day. He sighed and went back to staring at the blank screen, trying not to think.
*****
Jonny sat in the dark on the porch steps of the main house. Uneasily he watched his father's light in the lighthouse. He hadn't left his lab the entire day.
Jonny leaned back against the porch rail and thought of his mother. Of Paris. He remembered one day, when he and Hadji were playing on the beach at the Palm Key compound, and Hadji was asking him about how long Race had been with them.
**"It was a couple of years before I met you, Hadji. when my mom died."
"Gosh, Jonny."
"It's all right, Hadji. I like talking about her. I think you would have liked her. She was my best friend. I. remember it was in Paris. Dad says it didn't rain all the time. but that's all I remember. Paris is an ugly city."
He had told Hadji about how she got sick, and they had put her in the hospital, and the doctors couldn't save her.
"My mom died the next day around noon. It's funny-people don't die the way they do in movies. At least, not anymore. No last words and stuff. They just go deeper into coma. And the doctors come and ask if you want the machines turned off. and finally you say yes. And no matter how much you love them, or how much you want them to live. they don't."**
Jonny snapped out of his reverie in time to see his father's light shut off in the lab's window. Jonny wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or anxious. A few minutes later Jonny saw his father walking towards the main house.
Benton walked up to the porch and sat down next to his son, putting his arm around him.
"Jonny, I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning."
"I know, Dad. Today must've been a really hard day for you, huh?"
Benton paused, nodded his head, and said softly, "yes, it was."
"I'm sorry, Dad. I wish it hadn't happened."
Benton looked down at his son. "I know, Jonny. I feel the same way." They sat in silence together, staring off into the distance.
*****
Later that night Benton woke with a start. He had an uneasy feeling that he'd been having a nightmare, however, he couldn't remember what about. He rolled over so he could look out the windows, only to see.
"Rachel!" He jumped out of bed, and stood, staring at the form by the windows.
"Benton," the form said, in the voice he remembered, and had loved. "Benton, I love you." She walked over to where he stood, kissed him on the cheek one last time, and said, "goodbye, Benton. I know you'll take good care of Jonny for me."
With that, she simply disappeared.
*****
The next morning Benton woke up wondering if he really had seen Rachel. It was probably another dream, he thought.
After Benton dressed he went downstairs into the kitchen. He found Jonny, alone, eating breakfast.
"You're already up, son? Before Jessie and Hadji? Two days in a row?"
"Yeah, I woke up early and I. I couldn't get back to sleep."
Benton had a feeling Jonny wasn't telling him everything. "Jonny?"
"Yeah, pop?"
"Why don't we take a walk down the beach? I think we need to talk."
As Benton and Jonny walked along the Maine seashore, Jonny told his father he'd seen his mother standing beside his bed last night.
"She bent down, kissed my forehead, and pulled the covers up under my chin, just like she used to, before. before." he stopped, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"Jonny, I saw her too."
Jonny looked up at his father in surprise. "Were we both having the same dream, or something?"
"I don't think it was a dream, Jonny." Benton smiled. "She never got a chance to say goodbye, she needed to say goodbye."
The End © 1997-2003 by Loisarah
"Benton? Why are you still awake?"
Dr. Benton Quest turned around, ceasing work on his computer for a moment to look up at his wife. She stood watching him, hands on her hips and a concerned look on her face.
"Rachel, just a few more minutes, I want to get this done tonight."
"Benton, it's 3 AM!" Her expression softened, and she continued, "I know you are anxious to establish a reputation and save the world, but even a mad scientist needs his sleep!"
Benton grinned back at Rachel and looked down at his watch. He was quite tired, and he might as well continue tomorrow. He looked back up at Rachel. She was watching him nervously, as if she had something to tell him, but didn't know how to say it.
"Rach, is something wrong? You look nervous."
"Ben, I wouldn't say anything is necessarily 'wrong,'" she took a deep breath, "I. I know we didn't plan this, and we haven't been married that long yet, but. I'm pregnant."
Benton's jaw dropped and he looked his wife up and down. "Are. are. are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Oh, my."
Rachel watched Benton sink into his chair with a rather blank look on his face.
"Benton, dear, are you all right?" She knelt down in front of him, reaching out for his hands to hold. "Benton, say something, please."
He looked at his wife, stood up, pulled her up into an embrace, and whispered, "I love you," into her ear.
*****
The sun slowly rose in the early Maine sky, shining into the bedroom of Dr. Quest as he slowly stirred, murmuring, "Rachel. Rachel. Rachel." then woke with a start, remembering his dream. Rachel's dead, his dream had been nothing more than a bittersweet memory. With a great deal of effort, he sat up, got out of bed, and showered.
*****
Later that morning Benton was in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee. As he walked toward the refrigerator he glanced at the magnetic calendar and stopped short. June 5th! How could he have forgotten? His mind drifted back again, this time to an early summer afternoon, years before.
He stood beside Rachel, as beautiful as ever in her wedding dress. Benton held her hand, unable to believe this was actually happening. She was marrying him! That wonderful, adventurous, incredible woman. She squeezed his had, and he looked from her hands to her face. She smiled at him, the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.
*****
The sound of footsteps down the stairs of the Quest compound brought Benton back from his reverie. Jonny stood watching in the doorway.
"Dad? Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?" he snapped, instantly regretting it. "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm fine. I. I think I'll go work in the lighthouse today. Tell Jessie and Hadji they have the day off."
"Okay, Dad."
Benton left the main house, and Jonny watched him walk to the lighthouse through the kitchen window. 'He called me Jack, just like Mom used to.'
Jessie and Hadji came downstairs and stood beside Jonny at the window.
"Dr. Quest left already to work on the Questworld modifications? Hadji and I were supposed to help him today!"
Jonny slowly turned to face his friends. "He said you had the day off."
"The day off? Why?" asked Hadji.
"I think he wants to be alone today." he paused, "today is, or was, his and my mother's anniversary."
*****
Benton sat in front of his computer, not working, just sitting, thinking. his mind wandered to when he'd first met her.
The words in the book he was reading, or rather trying to read kept running together. He couldn't keep his mind off the woman he'd seen earlier. He'd asked around and found out her name was Rachel. Rachel Wildey. Benton believed she was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. It wasn't just her features, it was that her face seemed to express her sense of adventure, her fun and vitality. 'Maybe I should ask her out,' he thought.
As he fondly pondered this concept the woman in question nervously walked up to him.
"Excuse me, Benton? Is this seat taken?" Without waiting for a reply Rachel Wildey sat across the narrow picnic table from Benton. He immediately became flustered, madly shuffling his books and papers around, desperately hoping he didn't seem as much of a nerd as he felt he was. God, how she made him nervous! How could he even dream of asking her out?
"I'm sorry, I hope I don't seem too forward, but I noticed you sitting in on one of my classes today. Someone told me you were Benton Quest, the genius grad student," she laughed, "I decided I had to meet you. Now I can tell my future children I once talked to a genius!"
"A genius?" Benton became even more flustered. "Oh, I'd hardly say I'm a." his face turned bright red, "a genius." He looked up at her, and she smiled back.
"No, Rachel, I'm not a genius."
"You know my name?"
'Damn,' he thought, then countered with, "Why not? You knew mine!" This time, it was her turn to blush.
"Would you like to go for a stroll around campus with me, Rachel?"
She smiled at him again. "I'd love to, Benton."
*****
With a start, Benton realized he'd had another flashback, about Rachel. It was almost as if she had been haunting him that day. He sighed and went back to staring at the blank screen, trying not to think.
*****
Jonny sat in the dark on the porch steps of the main house. Uneasily he watched his father's light in the lighthouse. He hadn't left his lab the entire day.
Jonny leaned back against the porch rail and thought of his mother. Of Paris. He remembered one day, when he and Hadji were playing on the beach at the Palm Key compound, and Hadji was asking him about how long Race had been with them.
**"It was a couple of years before I met you, Hadji. when my mom died."
"Gosh, Jonny."
"It's all right, Hadji. I like talking about her. I think you would have liked her. She was my best friend. I. remember it was in Paris. Dad says it didn't rain all the time. but that's all I remember. Paris is an ugly city."
He had told Hadji about how she got sick, and they had put her in the hospital, and the doctors couldn't save her.
"My mom died the next day around noon. It's funny-people don't die the way they do in movies. At least, not anymore. No last words and stuff. They just go deeper into coma. And the doctors come and ask if you want the machines turned off. and finally you say yes. And no matter how much you love them, or how much you want them to live. they don't."**
Jonny snapped out of his reverie in time to see his father's light shut off in the lab's window. Jonny wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or anxious. A few minutes later Jonny saw his father walking towards the main house.
Benton walked up to the porch and sat down next to his son, putting his arm around him.
"Jonny, I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning."
"I know, Dad. Today must've been a really hard day for you, huh?"
Benton paused, nodded his head, and said softly, "yes, it was."
"I'm sorry, Dad. I wish it hadn't happened."
Benton looked down at his son. "I know, Jonny. I feel the same way." They sat in silence together, staring off into the distance.
*****
Later that night Benton woke with a start. He had an uneasy feeling that he'd been having a nightmare, however, he couldn't remember what about. He rolled over so he could look out the windows, only to see.
"Rachel!" He jumped out of bed, and stood, staring at the form by the windows.
"Benton," the form said, in the voice he remembered, and had loved. "Benton, I love you." She walked over to where he stood, kissed him on the cheek one last time, and said, "goodbye, Benton. I know you'll take good care of Jonny for me."
With that, she simply disappeared.
*****
The next morning Benton woke up wondering if he really had seen Rachel. It was probably another dream, he thought.
After Benton dressed he went downstairs into the kitchen. He found Jonny, alone, eating breakfast.
"You're already up, son? Before Jessie and Hadji? Two days in a row?"
"Yeah, I woke up early and I. I couldn't get back to sleep."
Benton had a feeling Jonny wasn't telling him everything. "Jonny?"
"Yeah, pop?"
"Why don't we take a walk down the beach? I think we need to talk."
As Benton and Jonny walked along the Maine seashore, Jonny told his father he'd seen his mother standing beside his bed last night.
"She bent down, kissed my forehead, and pulled the covers up under my chin, just like she used to, before. before." he stopped, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"Jonny, I saw her too."
Jonny looked up at his father in surprise. "Were we both having the same dream, or something?"
"I don't think it was a dream, Jonny." Benton smiled. "She never got a chance to say goodbye, she needed to say goodbye."
The End © 1997-2003 by Loisarah