Title: Denebola
Author name: Cynikalbitch
Author email: cynikalbitch@hotmail.com
Category: Humour/Action/Adventure
Keywords: Denebola (Mary-Sue Classic TM), Jack Sparrow, Will Turner
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Alright, we all hate Mary-Sues right? Well this one is bound to piss you off. That's right, it's The Mother of all Mary-Sues, yours to hate in the flesh (or in writing, whichever) - featuring Denebola (Mary-Sue Classic TM). Flames welcome.
Disclaimer: Duh, I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, if I did, I wouldn't be writing Mary-Sues on FF.net.
(This is an internal thought)
A/N: I would like to apologise to Jack for making him act like a fool for Mary-Sue. Sorry Jack fans.
Chapter 1
"Yo ho yo ho, a pirates life for me!" Jack belted out in a very off- key tune. The streets of Tortuga were lively tonight, welcoming the return of the hero crew of The Black Pearl. It was a shame they were staying for one night or Jack could have had some serious fun.
That wasn't happening tonight. He was off in one of his moods where he liked to be left alone. With his rum, of course. Jack tripped over a rock and caught his balance in the nick of time. "Bloody land. Doesn't even sway." He muttered and took a large swig of treasured liquid.
"You alright there, Jack?" Ana-Maria detached herself from a group of males and walked towards Jack. "You look drunk." (Although it was quite hard to distinguish between sober Jack and drunken Jack).
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Jack waved her away and lifted the bottle to his lips. It was empty. He swore and chucked it away. (More rum) He wanted more rum. Ah tavern. Lovely things they were.
He sat down at a table and waved at the bartender to send someone over. "Rum." He told the fat woman who had been sent over to take his order.
"Is that all?" She asked, eyeing him eagerly. Jack nodded (valiantly trying to ignore the fact that her eyes were all over him) and she waddled away.
Ah rum, he thought as he waited. Nobody understood rum like he did. Oh to have it burn your throat and numb your nerves. He sighed. Rum was like the lady he never had. He loved rum soooo much-
The waitress dumped the tankard in front of him unceremoniously and wiped her hands on the scruffy rag on her shoulder. She was making it blatantly obvious she was interested but Jack was oblivious.
He looked at the sorry-excuse-for-a-tankard then turned his gaze towards her. "I want a bottle." He said and drained the tankard in a gulp. "A large bottle." He set the tankard down with a heavy thud.
The woman glared at his unresponsiveness and took the empty tankard away, returning a few moments later with a bottle. "Good." Jack nodded his approval. "Payments are to her." He waved towards Ana-Maria and left the crowded place.
Jack walked to the docks and stood on the docks looking proudly at the Black Pearl. She was breathtaking in the moonlight, black sails and all. He took a gulp of rum. The Black Peal and rum. His two loves.
A high pitched scream shattered the night air. The partying in the background carried on, as if distressed screams were a thing to be ignored. Jack watched as a girl with beautiful blonde hair jumped into the water and struggled furiously to swim away.
Two men jumped in after her and were catching up to her quickly. Jack saw the girl go under; it was obvious she couldn't swim. He sighed and took his hat and belt off then kicked off his boots. "She best not be one to burn rum." He muttered, recalling Elizabeth and dived into the water.
A few minutes later he resurfaced, the girl limp in his arms. Dumping her onto the docks and looked around for the two men. They were nowhere to be found. He checked to see if she was breathing. She wasn't. Then he saw the corset she was wearing.
"Damn people and their corsets." He grabbed his belt, yanked the knife out and made a slit down the middle. She still didn't breathe. Jack hesitated then put his hands on her chest and pressed (Thank god for undergarments. Although, she is quite attractive…). She choked and coughed up water.
"That was unnecessary." someone said. Jack turned around to look at two burly men- Trouble.
"Well, she was drowning-" He began but was cut off rudely. "We have no business for meddlers." One of them pressed a blade against Jack's throat while the other went for the recovering girl.
Jack eyed the knife warily as his hand inched towards his belt where his sword was. Unnoticed by the man, Jack grabbed his sword and held it to his captor's stomach. "Take the knife away." He said in a threatening voice. The man gave him a steely glare and didn't comply. Jack increased the pressure of his blade so that it cut through clothes and cold steel touched flesh.
The man lowered his sword only to have his companion press a sword against Jack's back. Jack tsked. "Two against one is unfair competition." He said and kicked the man in front of him where no man wants to be kicked and in that same movement pushed him over the docks then turned to parry the other man's sword away.
Jack advanced, rapidly showering a series of thrusts and swings. In a few seconds, the other man had his back to the water. Jack grinned sardonically and aimed a kick to the man's chest. He fell into the water with a loud splash.
Jack kissed the blade of his sword and turned to the girl. It was then that he realised that she was uncommonly beautiful; her blonde hair though it was wet, framed her face perfectly. She had a small pert nose and thick lashed framed purple eyes. Her skin was like porcelain, her lips were the colour of ripe cherries and her cheeks had a faint blush. She was shivering with cold and looking at him with those oh so beautiful eyes.
Jack shook himself and frowned. "Who were those people?" He asked. Tears filled her eyes. Jack considered running. He didn't like it when women bursted into tears. The girl swallowed and the effort to speak was obvious. "They were my brothers." She said and broke into heartfelt sobs.
Jack blinked at the sudden display of emotions. The urge to run grew but he fought it. "Go on." He said, ignoring the sobs and concentrating on her perfect face.
"They think I killed my mother, but I didn't. I would never do such a thing." Jack frowned. Her story seemed somewhat unbelievable.
"And why would you want to kill your mother?" He said. The girl swallowed and looked up at him pitifully. Jack was entranced by those eyes. Was it possible for them to be so purple? They were like a purple sea rippling with circular waves. She was speaking.
"My mother always treated me bad. I was like the maid," she was saying, tears trickling down her face. "She favoured my brothers. And now she's dead. And they think it's my fault now. I don't have anywhere to go."
"What about your father" Jack asked, concerned. "He left." She said simply. She had stopped crying and was wiping her face. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Jack asked. He wasn't at all moved by her story, and anyway, he didn't believe in pity or anything of the sort.
"For being a blubbering idiot. You probably didn't want to hear any of that. Thank you so much for your help." She got up and pulled her ripped corset around her, still shivering.
Jack walked over to her. Maybe it wasn't too late. The night was still young… He stooped down and took her hand, planting a graceful kiss on it. "I'm sorry m'lady. I didn't catch your name."
She gave him a slow smile. "Denebola. And you, good sir?" she asked playing along.
"Captain Jack Sparrow."
Her eyebrows went up. "You mean the Captain Jack Sparrow? I've heard of you. You're supposed to be so evil hell itself spat you back out."
"There are a lot of stories." Jack said with a smirk. "I advise you not to believe all of them."
A/N: There, that was it. The mother of all Mary-Sues. Is it worth continuing? I want reviews. Lots and lots of reviews before I continue. Ideas welcome. For those of you who are curious, Denebola is a star in the solar system, I thought it was a very Mary-Sue name. And then I got this idea.