Obsessions are funny, in that they swing back and forth so wildly that by the end you don't know which ways up or where you've just come from. What's more, when you start to dig down into something, to really get under the skin, nothing is the way you thought it would be. Say you love this rock group, and so you start learning all about their music, their lyrics, their history, their politics… Months, and months of immersion, and suddenly you stop and look at yourself, and you simply can't stand that band. No, not that you can't stand them, you're as dedicated to them as ever, but now you're a dedicated hater.
I went the other way, digging myself so deeply into the folklore, the fantasy, the fiction, the mythos, that soon it wasn't about protection anymore, wasn't about hunting even, it was about finding. Seeing them, hearing them, knowing they were real… Well, I found them, and better I followed them, and I almost got away with just watching them. But I guess I'm not as fast or as clever as I thought. The sad thing is… I'm okay with having been caught, and I'm okay with everything I am, and everything I will be, and everything that I've done and will do. Tomorrow, while Alan's still asleep, while the TV in my parents' room whines at their unconscious forms, I'll leave.
I'm a better actor then anyone could have guessed; it's not just hate that I can fain, but terror, relief, greed… I nearly slipped when I saw him, I'm glad no one was looking at my face. He's too good an actor, I thought…thought we'd been betrayed. Just for a moment, I thought we'd been had. Pretty stupid, I guess…no one gets one over on David, probably because he never tells anyone his entire plan. Bastard nearly gave me a heart attack…
***************
The watery sunlight filtered down through thick fog, which any native could tell would soon cement into heavy, black rain clouds. Through the throngs of freaks that plagued the Santa Carla summer, a lone resident shuffled wearily. He was dressed in army surplus, complete down to the small duffel bag slung over his shoulder. Though he walked alone, he seemed to clear a path through the crowds that was greater than himself, as if something massive moved with him, unseen and ominous. Slowly he wandered out of the town, down, onto the deserted edges of the beech, where the cliffs had been known to crumble, and only a few brave idiots dared to tread he walked on, arms swinging slightly at his side, head hung down, eyes on his shoes.
Where the cliff side sloped down into a hill, he turned to the ascent, climbing through the strand of scraggly pine and up onto the bare plateau. He stood, for a moment, watching the sun's weak rays struggle to gleam on the water, and then he shook his head, and shuffled on, disappearing into the rocks as if he'd never been there at all. They were waiting.
********************
David laughed quietly at the
shock and confusion of his three companions; Star and Michael with their
dropped jaws, and wide-eyed accusations, Edgar's taut, strained posture, like a
prey-animal about to make a bolt for its hole.
The best part about having a party in the dark is when the lights go on,
and the guests see each other face to face.
"Come here, kid," he motioned for Edgar to stand beside him, and slowly,
stiffly, the boy came to him. "Star,
Michael, meet my ace in the hole." And
as they kissed, the dark haired pair felt the ocean closing in over their
heads, though not together. Each, alone,
in their own private councils had had a vision of victory; they had both seen
themselves standing there, where
Edgar stood. They had been jilted, had
sold their souls for nothing at all.
They had been spent like money, played like cards, used like cheap
rubber gloves.
They were drowning.