Chapter One: Why Teenage Girls are Crazy



Friday, May 30th, 2003

Quote: "To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice."

--Ambrose Bierce

I've been away for so long! I've probably lost most of my few

readers by now, but better late than never. So, it turns out that I've

been away so long that I forgot who I was going to have pop out of the

alley at the end of the last chapter. Sad, really. So, basically, I'm

kind of flubbing it, though I do still remember the general outline of

the story.

My apologies to everyone. You see, I wrote the other chapters

over the summer, when I had lots of idle time, and then I started

attending boarding school, and my free time evaporated. Anyway, I'm

kind of back, and I should be updating more regularly by June.

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Minako jumped out, her hands clasped excitedly. I would like to

state for the record that all people who pop out of allies should be

eternally damned. Now, I realize that the streets of Tokyo are busy,

but honestly, when people lurk in allies, one gets the distinct

impression that they were standing there, waiting.

Smiling a knowing smile, Minako turned towards us, leaning her

weight on one hip. Placing her hands on her hips, she smirked, "You

two are friends. The whole bickering was just a façade. I bet you set

up the entire incident with the principal as a practical joke. You

wanted to cheer everyone up." Her eyes lit up and she threw her hands

over her head. "You're partners in crime."

Feigning contemplativeness, she speculated, "Come to think of it,

I think there's a lot of latent sexual energy between you two."

I felt that now was the time to crush Minako's fantasies, and

they seemed to be becoming gradually more ludicrous. I dragged my palm

across my face before beginning. "Minako, stop. Just stop." Turning

and glancing at Mamoru, I delivered the first blow, "Minako, we didn't

injure the principal on purpose. If we were going to play a practical

joke, or were even close enough to coordinate one together, it would

certainly not be one that we would get so easily caught at."

Minako's face fell, and her entire body seemed to sag. "Second

of all, Mamoru and I only recently came to speaking terms. And as for

you absurd idea about pent up sexual tension, wherever that came from,

kill it right now. It will lead you nowhere."

"Serena Tsukino, ladies and gentlemen, American exchange student,

drive-by dream killer," Mamoru clapped with exaggerated slowness.

I scowled fiercely at him, but his lips only quirked up into a

grin that he imagined to be sexy. "No, no, don't just give me the

look. Please, shoot me down, too. It's much more gratifying."

Wheels churned furiously in my mind, searching for the perfect

comeback, "I'd kick you, but my foot has higher standards than that."

And that was not it. Heck, it didn't even make sense. I turned

to Minako. "Look, I'm sorry, but I had to pop the gossip bubble." I

tried to continue more casually. "So, what brings you to lurking in

the alley?"

I almost expected something terribly witty and British to burst

forth from her lips, but then, it was Minako, and while I was sure she

had many endearing qualities, drollness was not one of them. Still,

that delusion suffered a painful death when she said, "Why not?"

I resisted the urge to send Mamoru a look that said, 'Well, she's

an eggroll short of a pu-pu platter.' I could think of a thousand

reasons why not, but I resisted the urge to list all of them. "So,

anyway, where are you headed?"

Every chipper, she replied, "Home!"

I smiled and said, "Well, if it's in the direction we're headed,

you can walk with us."

She nodded vigorously and bounced into step with Mamoru and I.

"She leaned out and glanced over at Mamoru. "Where do you live,

Mamoru?"

He plodded forward, never looking over at Minako, and woodenly

responded, "I live to the west of school."

"West? But we're walking to the south. You're going to totally

out of your way. Why are you-" she stopped, suddenly, and that

frightening smile appeared on her face again. "You were walking her

home, weren't you? I'm right, aren't I? That's so gentlemanly! Chivalry

is not dead! That must mean that-" I ground my foot into Minako's.

I frowned at turned to Mamoru, searching his face for

confirmation. All he said was, "Pretty girls shouldn't walk alone at

night."

Minako elbowed me rather hard several times wiggled her eyebrows

at me. I imagined the sinister thoughts whirling around in her head,

her secret plans for setting us up that I knew were coming. She was

one of those people who couldn't resist a matchmaking opportunity. I

guess she thought we just sort of fell into her lap, and who was she to

say no? I considered rebuking her, but then, I had killed several of

her fantasies that night, and I doubted the success of the one

currently materializing.

Minako peeled off several blocks later, but not before jabbing me

especially hard one last time in the ribs and winking. I rolled my

eyes, though it was too dark for her to see. "I'm sorry about Minako."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "Don't be."

We continued in awkward silence until I recognized my host-

family's house. "Well, here's my stop," my voice cracked. It sounded

excessively loud after the prolonged silence.

"I'll walk you to the door," he responded simply.

It sounded kind of strange to me, but I did not dissuade him. I

pulled out my key and pushed open the door. I looked up in the face of

an angry Mr. Tsukino. He glared right past me at Mamoru, giving him

the evil eye. "You stay away from her, you punk, you hear me? Serena's

under my protection while she's here, and if you touch her, I'll kill

you."

He dragged me inside and slammed the door in Mamoru's face. What

a strange bunch of people I had fallen in with. "Mr. Tsukino, he was

just walking me home."

His face softened, and he patted my shoulder. "I was just

worried, that's all. You can't trust anyone in this world anymore. If

he does anything, you be sure to tell me, though."

Sure, that was going to happen. I kicked off my shoes and ran up

to my room, throwing my bag onto my bed, and sprawling over onto the

bed with it, facedown. I started laughing, hysterically, for

absolutely no reason. I flipped myself over and sat up, laughing so

hard that tears poured down my face. Shingo, walking by, stopped at my

doorway and stared at me strangely. "Teenage girls sure are moody.

Dinner's ready."

I nodded, realizing that I probably looked a mess, and wiped the

back of my hand against my eyes. "Thanks, Shingo. Tell your mom that

I'll be right down."

I threw my uniform onto the floor and pulled on jeans and a t-

shirt that a friend from home had given me. It said, High School

Jewish Society, and on the back, 'Challah Back.' I thought it was one

of the more brilliant t-shirts I owned. I plodded to the bathroom and

splashed cold water onto my face. I looked up at the cabinet mirror,

watching the water cascade off of my face. My tired and bitter face

stared back at me, more like a 60 year old than a sixteen year old. I

reached up and dragged the corners of my mouth into a puppet-like

smile. I made a face and grabbed a towel and patted my face with it

before bounding down the stairs.

I bowed politely at the doorway and apologized for being late,

but Mrs. Tsukino only waved noncommittally and ushered me towards the

table. "Itadakimasu."

We all ate in silence, the only sounds our chewing and the clink

of chop-sticks, or, in my case, the fork against the plates. I sipped

my water slowly and glanced around the table. Everyone seemed a little

too intent on their food for my tastes. I knew it was coming, but I

still was not prepared for it, "So, Serena, who was your friend?" Mrs.

Tsukino feigned innocence.

"His name is Chiba Mamoru. He was walking me home. He said that

pretty girls shouldn't walk alone at night."

Shingo made a gagging noise and Mr. Tsukino scowled. Mrs.

Tsukino kick him under the table and smiled. "Well, isn't that sweet."

"Well, I think he wants to get into your pants," Shingo grinned.

Before anyone else could respond, I quipped, "Do you even know

what that means?"

I took it from the way his cheeks reddened and his sudden

interest in his food that he did not. "You'll have to bring him by for

dinner sometime. We'd be happy to have him," Mrs. Tsukino said, more

to Mr. Tsukino than to me.

I opened my mouth to say something, though I've forgotten what

now. But, before I could, the phone rang shrilly.

"Now who would call now? Right in the middle of dinner, too,"

Mrs. Tsukino frowned.

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Yay, I'm done. I'm sorry that it's shorter than my other chapters, but

I didn't see a point in continuing the story in this chapter, and I

didn't really have time, anyway. I just wanted to get a chapter out to

prove that I'm really back and kickin'. No consistent updating until

June, but whatever.

Please REVIEW!

icefaerie0719@earthlink.net