Episode 2: Crazy like a StarFox

Fennix Star Spaceport, Corneria City

July 26, 2477

6:15 PM

News spread quite rapidly throughout the Lylat System. Upon every television screen, broadcasts of McCloud's capture informed the inhabitants of the fate of the young outlaw.

"What, they got him! No Way!" Slippy shouted at a television monitor in the main lobby of the Fennix Star Spaceport. He had been waiting there for hours for his partner to show when a broadcast of his friend's fate caught his eye.

"… Currently, he's being transported to the Galactic Police Headquarters, where he shall stay until his trial. His accomplice, a young runaway identified, as Miss Kitt Ayanami, and a pair of street thugs are also being taken to custody. Only a small portion of the stolen money was recovered, the rest is assumed to be either picked up by passing by citizens or have blown out to sea by now," The reporter on the screen continued her report, "We recently spoke with the person who was able to arrest, now to Irwin with the report" She image on the monitor changed to a scene outside Corneria's police station. A reporter stood out front where a pack of police aircars were parked as they unloaded their "passengers." A tall young raccoon woman steps out of one of the cars, before she could go anywhere, the reported cornered her between the cars.

"Here we have the officer who was able to finally arrest StarFox, Raquell 'Rocky' Coone. Officer Coone, would you mind answering a few questions," the reported asked the bewildered raccoon.

"Well… Uhh… Actually…"

"Good, first, how long have you been with the GP?"

"Umm… About six …"

"Nice, so was it difficult to track McCloud?"

"He did put up a chal…"

"And how did you managed to get him?

"Well I…"

As she tried to speak, in the background the young pirate McCloud was being escorted out the vehicle and into the station. He stopped for a second and began making weird faces toward the camera, pushing his nose up, sticking out his tongue, blowing raspberries, puffing his cheeks, the works . "The ham," Slippy chuckled to himself as the young pirate bent over and began patting his rear end before the intergalactic audience.

"Wonderful. You heard it here first folks. Back to you Caroline."

"Thank you Irwin. Currently, McCloud's partner, Slippy Toad, is still at large, his whereabouts are still unknown…" The reporter rambled on. Slippy sat in his seat calmly, the trenchant and fedora getup he bough quite easily concealed his identity. He watched on for a few more minutes before turning his attention to the passing tourists and travelers. I sure hope you know what you're doing Fox, he thought to himself now staring out the closest window.

Hours later, deep in space, a large space station, rotating continuously as it orbited a nearby star, opened a hatch, allowing three ships, on larger than the others, to enter it's docking bay. The ships slowly descended to the cold metal floor of the docks. From the stepped eight Galactic Police officers, two of which were carefully eyeing McCloud.

"Take the boy to his cell," one of the officers commanded. His colleagues nodded, and grabbed the boy's arms and escorted him down a long white hallway.

Raquell slowly stepped out of a four spacecraft that had just recently landed. She looked as if she were looking beyond the station before her, a solemn expression on her face, then looked down at the floor below. She was quickly greeted by a fellow officer, a male serval, about her age, who was a bit scrawny in build with long brown hair and large "Coke bottle" glasses.

"Great job Rocky!" he congratulated her with a pat on her right shoulder. "You finally got him. Lylat can sleep easy now."

She looked up at her friend, and then looked down again. "For now I guess… But what's it matter when there's a war going on?"

"We've gone through this before, it's not our place to worry about civil conflicts like this. Our job is to keep the galaxy safe for travelers."

"And letting a madman start an interplanetary war is safe?" she accused, now staring out a window at the solar system around them.

"No, but it's beyond our control. Look, I don't make the rules, I only enforce them, just like you do. These things happen all the time between groups of power. It's gone about all of history. You know one of our major rules is to not get involved with civil wars like this, we can't be taking sides."

"Yeah, but all those people…"

"I know, I wish we could help too, but it's all up to Pepper, he'll pull through. The empire will fall soon," he assured her.

"I hope you're right, Rinh, I sure hope you're right," she sighed.

"Have I ever been wrong before?" He grinned.

She looked at him, forming a devilish smile on her face. "What about Anna?" she taunted, walking down the hallway.

"Hey… wait… That's different!" Rinh shouted, blushing as he ran after her, "Low blow Rocky. Low blow!"

Meanwhile Fox grew restless as he was being escorted down the hall. "I've got to get out of here," the boy whispered under his breath. His eyes desperately scanned about the hallway for any hope of escape.

"What was that!" demanded the officer to his left.

"I said, I gotta go to the bathroom, can we stop first?" the fox whimpered, "I really gotta pee."

"You can hold it until you get to your cell," the other officer replied.

"I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, Iiii caaaaan't," he whined as he danced about as if he hand some sort of creature rustling in his pants, "I can't hold it any longer, I'll wet my pants. Pleeeeeaaaaaze let me use the little fox's room before I got to my cell. I promise, I'll make no trouble, scout's honor."

The two officers looked at each other blankly. "Fine, you can go," one of the finally replied, "The men's room is down the hall and to your right. We'll walk you down to it and wait outside for you."

"Like I'm a scout," Fox chuckled to himself under his breath.

Once inside the restroom, the young vulpine didn't hesitate to begin the second part of his ingenious plan. Searching frantically for a way out, he noticed an air vent positioned above one of the toilet stalls, not only that, with a stroke dumb luck, it had been recently installed and wasn't fully screwed in or wired as well. He quickly slipped into the vacant stall, and scrambled on top of the toilet. It took him several minutes of pushing and shoving to realize that it was stuck good, and being handcuffed didn't help his situation either. The plucky canine slipped his sunglasses from atop his forehead, and began to pry the cover open with one of their tips. As he relentlessly worked to regain his freedom, he didn't notice his left leg slowly sliding off the toilet's back until it was too late.

Kerplash! His foot landed right into the commode, it was now sopping wet and covered with who knows what living in the facility. And to top it all off a trail of soggy toilet paper had attached itself to his heel.

"Ugh," he groaned in disgust, shaking his soggy foot while pulling it from the toilet bowl. Without another word, he instantly went back to work as if nothing happened. This time, his efforts were paid off in soon after as he managed to slide the grated cover off the vent and crawled in. The gentle breeze flowing through the vent made his soaked foot feel like ice as he silently crept through. Below him, the two officers waited for their prisoner to finish answering nature's call.

"Did you hear some of the things this guys done? He's insane," one of the officers said.

"Yeah, how does he do it?"

"I don't know, either this guy's a genius or a complete dumbass."

"I think it's the second one. I mean, what kind of space pirate steals Twinkies?"

"Twinkies?" snickered the first officer.

"Yeah, a whole freighter of them. He smashed a FireBird X87 into it, nearly blew up the whole thing if he missed his target by even an inch. I tell ya, this guy's got the more dumb luck than the entire population of Katina."

"Not dumb luck, dumb skills," giggled the fox to himself. Fortunately for him, the officers didn't notice his remark.

"Sounds like it, I mean, he was even caught by a mere rookie, what's her name…" the first officer continued the conversation.

"Coone. Raquell Coone, she just graduated from the academy a few…"

"What's taking him so long?" complained the other officer.

"Don't know, doesn't take that long," replied the other. "He's up to something."

"Better go check it out," his colleague moaned, kicking the door open. Inside the room was void of any signs of life, except that the new ventilation shaft grate was no longer in its place. It didn't take long for the news to spread about the station as voices on the PA alerted everyone of McCloud's escape.

By now fox had passed beyond the hallway and was making his way eastward. He frantically scrambled, hoping to God that they haven't thought of checking the vents. He paused for a moment as he passed over the women's locker room, partially staring at the female officers as they changed into their uniforms and the other part searching for Rocky in hopes of nabbing the key to his cuffs off her. Unfortunately, he was able to fulfill only one of those objectives, Rocky apparently wasn't in that part of the station.

A strange scent climbed into Fox's nostrils as he searched, the smell burnt the back of his throat and tasted of vomit, tears began to blur his vision. A cloud of smoke began to engulf the young fox. Hacking and coughing violently, he tried frantically to cover his face with his bandana as he began moving again. Not paying attention, he managed to climb on top of the vent's grating, which was unable to support his weight and came crashing down to the locker room below. He also came crashing to the floor, landing face first in the center of the room. Pairs of enraged eyes surrounded him as he stumbled to his feet and dusted himself off.

"Yup, that vent's gotta go back to the shop, can't have faulty equipment in a place like this yanno," Fox grunted in a gruff voice, rubbing his bruised behind. The partially dressed officers stared at him with disbelief. "I told dem that it wasn't in right, just wait 'til my supervisor finds out about this. Excuse me ladies, but I gotta go get my tools soes I can fix this here vent."

"Nice try Junior, but normally we don't cuff our repairmen," chortled one of the officers as she stepped out of the showers. It was obvious she wasn't there to bathe on account that she was completely dry and fully clothed in a denim uniform. "I had a feeling you'd find your way here. You know, you're starting to get predictable." A wicked grin grew across her smoky face.

"Predictable? Moi?" Fox replied arrogantly, copping a forged clueless expression.

"Give it up Fox, you've got nowhere to go," she sneered, adjusting her glasses before they slip off her nose. Fox looked about seeing only the piercing glares of her fellow officers suffocating him. He slowly walked up to her. He slumped over, starring at the floor, as he held out his arms in surrender.

"You win again, Rocky, I'll go peacefully," he moaned. Unbeknown to everyone, a secret devilish grin crept across his fuzzy lips. He made sure to conceal his true feelings as looked back up to his captor. With a conceited smile across her face, the raccoon snapped a second pair of cuffs onto her left and his right wrists, and proudly marched her prisoner out the door and into the hallway.

"I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm bored. I have to potty. I wanna watch cartoons. I'm tired. My tummy hurts. I wanna go home," relentlessly whined the fox. The trek to his cell was long and strenuous on the young officer's nerves, felling more like a babysitter than a proud member of the Galactic Police. Every hallways intersection he tugged on his cuffs as he tried to wander down every left-hand turn. Of course lacking anything that could be considered muscle, he was quickly overpowered by her.

Rocky walked Fox into the elevator, his cell was fifteen floors above the main level. Instantly after she pressed the correct floor, Fox piped in and rolled his free hand over the control panel, hitting every the button for every floor in between. The ride gradually whittled down every last nerve belonging to the raccoon, as she had to endure Fox singing along with the sappy music coming from the speakers above.

"There was a little Spanish flea, a super record star he though he'd be. He heard of singers like Beatles, and chipmunks he'd seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea?" he sang, watching the officer slowly burn to a boil. As he was singing, he secretly began to slip his left hand out of his first pair of cuffs. "Second verse, same as the first! There was a little…"

"SHUT UP DAMMIT!" she screamed. This was the opportunity he had been waiting for. With his newly liberated hand, he dove into her pocket and retrieved a small card. His work did not go unnoticed however, as she sharply yanked her cuffed arm, pulling him with it. The action jolted the card out of his free hand and onto the elevator floor. Both furries leaped to the floor, scrambling on top of one another to be the first to obtain the card.

The doors opened when they finally reached their destination. Outside, a handful of officers nervously stared at the pair. During the struggle Rocky had managed to seat herself on top of Fox's waistline, leaning over him holding his arms down, their faces dangerously close to each other's.

"It's… It's not what you think!" she protested after she realized the position the two had gotten into. She scrambled onto her feet, dragging him up with her. He smugly pretended to zip his pants and was met with a hard smack in the back of his head. "This dumbass here was trying to unlock his cuffs and dropped the key-card to the floor…" As she tried to defend her integrity, the vulpine managed to swipe the card, slide it through the corresponding slot, and free himself from the handcuffs.

"Uh… Miss?" one of the officers tried to get the attention of the embarrassed raccoon.

"What?" she replied bitterly, noticing the escaping fox. Fox wasn't able to get far, the on looking officers blocked his path, and Raquell was closely on his tail. He leaped right into the center officer, plowing over him. As McCloud raced down the hallway, the angered coon hurled a small, pink, cube-like device at him. Upon reflex, the fox twirled about, kicking the object into the cluster of objects separating him from Raquell. A bright light flashed and the group dropped to the floor unable to move. Being within a safe distance, both Fox and Rocky were unharmed.

The flash provided a perfect cover as Fox slipped behind a door. On the other side were rows of high security cells. Fox winced as he passed the various creatures locked away, most of which he'd never seen before. The creatures looked at him, growling and speaking nonsense in their native tongues as he passes, a protective beam shell separated him from the beasts. Fox arrogantly pressed his face against the shells of some of the more intimidating looking creatures, making strange faces against the glass-like surfaces.

"Stop pratting about ya moron!" Shouted a voice from the far end of the room. "It's your fault I'm in this mess." Fox meandered to the source of the voice, behind the beam shell sat a familiar young vixen. Her black tipped tail flicked about with disapprovement, she glared at him with her muddy brown eyes. "Thanks to you I'm now stuck in jail," she sneered.

"Kitt? Thank goodness I found you," he tittered. He felt across the shell, his hands migrating toward a small keypad on the frame of the entrance. "I'll have you out in a jiff."

"I think you helped enough thank you very much," she growled. Not a word got through the vulpine's thick skull as he randomly punched random codes into the keypad. "No! What are you doing! You're gonna get me in even more trouble than you already have!" Still no response, he continued punching in codes despite her protests. Letting out an aggravated groan, he pressed his head against the keypad with frustration. He let out a growl and smashed his right foot into the panel that the keypad was on. The blow caused all the buttons to cave inward and the tiny bands of metal that separated them were no match for its force. Fox struggled frantically as his foot became lodged into the wall. Scrambling about like a chicken who's head had been cut off, he managed to slip out of his sneaker and drop it into the wall. The young fox blinked a cheesy grin to his imprisoned companion and began digging into the hole for his missing footwear. Tearing through the jumbled mass of circuitry and wires, a jolt of electricity shot raced into his body, making his fur stand on end and half the lights in the room to go out. Kitt desperately pounded against her light barrier, only to land flat on her face inches from McCloud's feet.

"Toldja I'd get you outta this," he giggled with embarrassment, pulling his shoe out of the hole and back onto his foot. She said nothing but gave him a spiteful scowl, trying hard to look displeased despite how much the shock made him look like Don King, pushed herself to her feet and angrily dusted her skirt off. She remained silent, but Fox could tell she wasn't pleased with him, though the reason why was well over his head. "Well? What are we waitin' for? Let's blow this Popsicle stand." He clamped down onto her wrist and tugged hastily, her stubborn nature kept her feet firmly to the ground. However, it was no match for the boy's persistence. Sighing with frustration, she reluctantly followed him.

"I hope you're happy, thanks to you I'm a fugitive as well," she growled. Fox paid no attention to her, his mind set on only getting himself and Kitt out alive, and also on what he'd order from the nearest Taco Bell drive through, it had been a while since his last meal.

Being foxes, they had little trouble slipping down the hallways without being noticed. They stealthily slinked from corridor to corridor, as small group of casually dressed teens, lead by a single GP officer, marched down an intersection in front of them.

"Follow my lead, I've got an idea," Fox beckoned. He rustled his blonde hair a bit, taking off his bandana, rolling it up, and wrapping it around his forehead. He then unrolled the sleeves of his beige jacket and buttoned it up. He nodded his head letting his sunglasses leap from atop his forehead and over his eyes. He signaled the vixen to follow, and the two took place in back of the group. "Try to look natural," He whispered to her.

"All right Cadets," the officer spoke in a loud and serious voice, "There's been a breakout, everybody is on alert. This is a perfect chance to put your training to work." The group let out a collective groan.

"Aww man, this sucks, do we have to?" Fox shouted, the officer looked at him disapprovingly and continued on.

"I want you get in uniform, and head over to the surveillance rooms and relieve those working there so that they can join the search. If you see anything suspicious, you are to report it immediately. Now go." The group groaned again and walked into a pair of locker rooms, the males into one, the females another. Fox and Kitt nervously followed the group of their respective gender. Inside the locker room, the groups seated themselves and began changing into a familiar denim uniform. Fox pulled one of the cerulean jumpsuits out and pulled it over his clothes, putting his jacket over the denim garment. He smiled deviously as he pulled a small coded card out of one of the suit's pockets

The group returned to the hallway and headed down it. Fox caught up with Kitt, who had also pulled one of the jumpsuits on over her clothes. As the group marched passed a fork in the hallway, the foxes diverged down the opposing corridor. They cautiously checked each and every room.

Eventually the pair found a flight of stairs. "Come on, the docking bay is a few floors below us, if we can get there, we're home free," he laughed, tugging her hand to follow him. He raced down flight after flight with her following behind closely. They passed an officer racing up the opposite direction, he looked at them for a split-second and continued on his way without a second glance. He secretly giggled as he watched his disguise work perfectly.

The foxes finally reached the main floor, coming out beside a familiar hallway, McCloud had little difficulty tracking his way back to the docking bay. Inside a lone guard watched over the scattered crimson spacecrafts. Fox messed up his hair and clothes and hobbled to the lone guard.

"Help, he's been spotted in section B52. He's armed and dangerous, we need all the backup we can get," he panted in a pathetic tone, "Hurry, I dunno how long they can hold him." The officer looked at him nervously. "Don't look at me, go already." The officer frantically drew his weapon and raced out the door. "Heh heh, sucker," Fox chuckled to himself.

He walked over to Kitt triumphantly. "Not bad if I do say so myself," Fox boasted, arrogantly rubbing his fingernails against his chest. The duo climbed into one of the vacant spacecrafts. Fox whipped out his card and slid it through a matching slot beside the steering wheel.

"Do you know how to drive this thing!" Kitt shouted.

"No, but I'm a fast learner," he replied smugly, "All right everyone, please keep you hands and arms inside the vehicle and remain seated until it has come to a complete stop. We are not responsible for any lost or stolen articles. Fasten your safety belt and hang onto you hats and glasses, 'cause this is gonna be one hell of a wild ride."

The machine's engine began to whirr wildly as it clumsily lifted off the ground. Fox began punching in random buttons in hopes of getting it to move. One of such buttons caused the whole room to flood with red and blue lights, as an ear-shattering wail came from the vehicle. The commotion drew hordes of officers into the room just as the spacecraft drunkenly wobbled toward the exit. One of the officers quickly pressed a large red button on the wall.

"Shit! We're not gonna make it!" Kitt screamed as in front of them a large metal door began to lower in front of the only exit from the station. Fox stared out at it unphased, pressing down on a pedal at his feet. The craft let out a burst of blue and green flames and roared toward the ever-shrinking exit at break-neck speeds. The machine shot out of the space station seconds before the metal door would have sealed their fate.

"Whooooooooohoooooohoooooohooooooooooooooo!" Fox shouted, "You see that? It's was like inches above and we made it. See, I told you I knew what I was doing." It took a while for Kitt's nerves to calm down and notice him talking. She said nothing, mostly because she was still waiting for her breath to catch up with her. Freedom never looked so good as they viewed in awe at the Lylatian system around them. The stars around them shined brightly and few spacecrafts floated about the vast ocean of black. "Looks like traffic's down enough to get you to Carentith," he said confidently, "See? I'm good for my word. Now lets turn on some tunes." He flipped a few switches on the ship's control panel.

"I feel alive, I feel a love. I feel a love that's really real I'm on sunshine baby, oh. Oh yeah, I'm on sunshine baby, oh," the ship's radio played. Fox joined with the song, adding his unique tone-deaf voice to the melody. "I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh! I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh! I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh…" Fox felt a hand smack him swiftly in the back of the head. Rubbing his head, he gave Kitt a "why'd you do that?" look before returning to navigating the spacecraft towards a blue planet below as the radio continued on.

"And don't it feel good?"