XII
Once again, I only own Caliga and her ruddy cat. If you feel the story is going too slowly, please take it up with the characters. They have completely taken over, and when I sit here typing they just tell me what to say. For anyone who wondered, I actually do not know a ton about drugs, etc… I just try to research whatever I write about a little bit so that I can give a better portrayal. What happens to Cassandra in this chapter can and does, actually happen to abuse survivors. Once again, I am simply a JK Rowling fan in love with a Slytherin Man!!! Please forgive Snape his trespasses, he has had about all he can take at this point. (
Breaking Point
A week later, things seemed to have settled down around Slytherin House, as much as is possible, considering that it WAS Slytherin, after all. No shortage of troubles and issues in that house… thank goodness for the happy- go-lucky HufflePuffs to balance out the angst load in the school.
Seated in potions class according to their Year-End Projects groups, the class was anxiously awaiting Snape's response to their idea for the way to find a cure for Muggle illnesses. They were all seated, and he was currently shuffling through the pile of parchments in front of him, grunting and sneering as he sorted them into piles.
"The acceptable." He pointed to two parchments on the left side of his mammoth mahogany desk.
"The Unacceptable." A rather larger pile at the center of his desk.
"And, last but most certainly not least, the work which can only be called pure crap!" His voice had risen to a murderous level.
By this point, most of the class was staring down at their desks in horror, and had turned various shades of green or gray. Poor Neville Longbottom was holding back either tears or nausea (possibly both), and Ron Weasley looked as if he was waiting for another Howler from his mother. Looking over to her left, Cassandra noticed that through this all, Draco Malfoy wore his characteristic smirk,. Seeing her look, he reached over and patted Cassandra on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about it, Caliga" he drawled at her, looking smug. "We've got it in the bag. Granger did the whole thing, and I have no concerns whatsoever."
Cassandra nodded slightly. This was true. She and Malfoy had conveniently not found the time to meet up with their Gryffindorian cohorts, and Granger had been left to do the proposal on her own. She had actually seemed quite pleased by that, and Cassandra was beginning to wonder if the girl wasn't a control freak, amongst other things. Hearing their comments, Hermione shot daggers at them with her eyes.
"True enough, I did it. Though I don't doubt that you two still won't take full credit for the marks" She hissed at them through her teeth.
"What was that, Miss Granger?" Snape asked in an oily voice. "You don't have time to listen to my comments, you would rather teach class yourself I presume? TEN POINTS!!"
Hermione went a vicious shade of red, and moved over towards Harry, away from the students who had just cost her valuable House Points. Harry gave Malfoy a threatening look, and Cassandra guessed that there would be a duel later that night. It would be interesting to watch, with the amount of hatred those two held for each other. She would have to find out from Malfoy where it would be, and find a place out of wand range to sit and watch. Hopefully, she would learn a curse or two that way. Meanwhile, Snape was stalking about the class, handing back their papers.
"Any of the groups which did not have an acceptable paper will be rewriting it for me by tomorrow, when I will be graced by your presence again ." He hissed out the last few words. " And it BETTER be acceptable by then."
Walking past their bench, Snape handed a parchment to Draco, loosing the sneer for a moment and replacing it with a raised eyebrow.
"Well done, Malfoy. Who would have thought that you had such an intense interest in Muggle illnesses. Your group's paper was only one of the two which were acceptable. However, I want it to be more concise next time - I don't need 4 feet of parchment in such tiny handwriting, as neat as it may be." He swished away to hand out more papers. Hermione reached over, trying to snatch the paper out of Malfoy's hand.
"Let me bloody well see it!!! I'm the one who wrote the damned thing, I want to see what Professor Snape thought of my ideas!"
"Well, Mudblood " Draco lowered his voice dramatically. " I guess the old purity first rule applies here."
Cassandra shivered involuntarily. If only he knew, her life would be a living hell. Harry lunged over at Malfoy, wand out .
"One more word, you piece of Crup shit, and you will officially be talking out of your ass. I've learned a hex or two over the last summer, you better watch your back!"
Cowed for the moment, clearly thinking about the reifications of Potter's threat, Draco begrudgingly handed the paper to Cassandra.
"Do with it as you see fit, my Slytherin sister!" He winked at her. More chills down her spine. Had she missed something? Malfoy?? He was hooked up with Pansy Parkinson wasn't he? She went to take the parchment, and Malfoy's hand touched hers. Cassandra nearly jumped out of her seat. Their hands had actually sparked when they touched. What did this all mean? Looking up from the paper which she quickly handed over to Hermione, she noted that Pansy Parkinson had been watching, and was trembling with rage. This was going to be an interesting night indeed. And Cassandra still had no clue what the hell was going on. As the groups continued to look over their papers, Snape announced that they would be having a guest in the classroom tomorrow.
" We will be having a visitor from the ministry of Magic tomorrow, class. And I expect everyone to be on their best behavior. We will be attempting a from of Curse-Blocking Serum, and then testing it out on each of you in turn." He sent a malicious look over to where Harry and Hermione sat. " I suggest you do your best to read up on what will be required. I can't guarantee how nasty these curses might get. You will be working in Slytherin/Gryffindor team again, and I will tell you your partner at the beginning of tomorrows class."
The whole room was buzzing with excitement and nerves, all the students wishing they could pick their own partner. Apparently, there were a few debts that needed to be paid out between the two houses. Angry looks and unspoken threats were being fired all over the room ,and a few had already pulled out their wands in anticipation. Snape licked his lips a bit, and looked out over the angry sea of students with what might have been described as a smile, had it not been Snape.
"Dismissed!!" He called out.
The usual shuffling and organizing as the students put away their cauldrons and gathered up bookbags, ready to go back to their Houses for the day. Cassandra was headed out the door when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Without even turning, she began to speak
"Pansy, I don't know what the hell was going on, so why don't you just fuck off!" She spat out.
"Indeed."
Cassandra blanched hard, her back stiffening like a cadaver. Damn, it wasn't Pansy after all. Only one person in the entire school used that word, and she was aware that she had just told her Head of House to fuck off. Expulsions, suspension and detentions ran through her mind. Unable to breathe, Cassandra turned around shame-facedly. She looked up at him, horrified at the consequences of her actions.
"Oh sir, I am so very, very sorry! I thought, I thought…" Her voice trailed off . Cassandra couldn't get enough air to complete the sentence.
"My office, now." His tone unreadable, Snape spun around, releasing her shoulder. She couldn't read the expression on his face, and assumed that a visit to Dumbledore's office would be following the visit to Snape's. Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn't think of what to say or do. It was clear her fate was no longer in her hands. He moved out of the way so that Cassandra could enter, and then shut the door with a click. She shivered in the dark office, it felt damp and cold. Or maybe it was simply the cold clutch of fear in her stomach. She really couldn't be sure, and wrapped her robes around her. Noting this, Snape took his wand from his sleeve and pointed at the fireplace.
" Incendio."
"Thank-you." Cassandra whispered.
"I felt a draft" was the only reply she got. Looking around, Cassandra thought back on the only other time she had been her. She felt intensely guilty thinking of how kind Professor Snape had been to her on so many occasions, and felt tears coming into her eyes. TEARS!! Of all the foolish, weak and inappropriate things to do. She brushed her cheek with the edge of her robe, hoping Snape hadn't noticed. If her had, he was giving her no sign.
"Sit."
He motioned to a small, hard-backed chair across from his rather imposing desk. He went around the back to sit down, and she noted that the area behind the desk was raised, making him look even more imposing than usual. Swallowing hard, Cassandra sat down on the edge of the chair. Just incase she had to make a run for it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if the chamber pot was still behind the desk. She continued to stare down at the floor. The room was very silent, even the fire made no noise. Her breathing seemed loud and embarrassing, she stared down hard at the floor, willing herself to be strong. She was not feeling very strong. She felt as if her legs had gone to jelly, and her stomach to stone. A twinge of the old stomach problems arose, and she pushed it back down. Last thing I want is a sympathy vote. I don't deserve it. I deserve to be fed to a particularly grumpy Kappa at this point in time. Her thoughts were interrupted as Snape began to speak.
"We need to talk." He touched his temple with his right hand. "But maybe you are not in the mood?"
"No sir, I mean, yes sir. If you wish" she stuttered out.
"Very well. You will not be permitted to participate in tomorrow's activity with the class." He said it as if he were administering a death sentence. " I am sorry."
Cassandra looked at him questioningly, secretly relieved that she would not be the object of an angry Gryffindor hex. " As a punishment?"
"A punishment? Whatever for? "
Immediately after the words left his lips, realizations dawned on the man's face. His lip twinged, and if she hadn't known better, Cassandra would have thought he was fighting back a smile.
"Apology accepted. Miss Parkinson usually provokes what she gets. However, " he added " I might suggest you know who you are speaking to before you open your mouth. Had you said that in front of McGonagall, for example…"
Now it was Cassandra's turn to stifle a smile, she brought her robe sleeve up over her face and coughed into it. She could well imagine the look on McGongalls face at such language. She could also imagine the punishment, involving hundreds of House Points, she was sure.
"Yes sir."
" Now, the real reason that I wanted to talk to you . " He suddenly looked as serious and stern as ever. "I assume Madame Pomfrey has begun another course of medications with you? I haven't had time to talk with her this week, she has been exceptionally busy."
"Well, actually, no sir. " Cassandra said uncomfortably, once again embarrassed by her fear of the infirmary. " I've been feeling just fine, so I just kind of figured that I would be fine now, and continue on
…"
Snape did not look impressed. In fact, the twitch at his left nostril had just started up, and that was generally saved especially for the Gryffindors, that she remembered. Cassandra braced herself for the irate lecture she was certain would come. Instead, she was met by an even deadlier and even more confusing silence. Daring to look up into the professor's face again, she was astounded that he looked, well, sad. Snape sad? Of course he gets sad, just like he rest of us do, Caliga! He's a human, a man. Not a monster or a machine. Do you really think that when he was your age he dreamed of being a POTIONS TEACHER?? Do you think that he truly enjoys begin alone all the time, having most of his students detest him? You've looked into those eyes, you've read sorrow and anger and pain, and more… stop begin such a self centered little git for once, and use some of the brains the gods chose to put into your head!
"Professor? " she asked timidly.
He snapped his eyes back into focus, once again looking at her, rather than through her, as he had been doing moments ago. Narrowing his eyes, the anger Cassandra had been waiting for came on full force.
"So insolent, stupid, rude, self-absorbed ingrate!" He howled at her, loosing control of his tonality. Cassandra pushed her chair back as Snape came around his desk, stopping directly in front of her. "He took a quick breath, trembling with rage as he prepared to continue his rant.
"Do you have any idea what is at risk here? How dare you have such disregard for your safety and health? Do you think that you just get to choose whether you live or die? That choice does not belong to you!! If we were left to make such decisions ourselves, left to our own devices. Most of us wouldn't even exist! One little problem, and "poof" we'd just Avada kedavra ourselves and end it all in front of a mirror! It's not that simple."
Arms raised, he was just barely keeping any shred of control he had left. Cassandra knew she deserved it, and yet felt possibly he had gone a little overboard. Death Wish? Her? She'd never actually thought about it that way. On the other hand, who did she have that actually cared about her? No family, no real friends (unless you could count whatever-it-was that went on with Malfoy, and she just couldn't believe that had really been anything). She had thought possibly Snape might have cared somewhat, but clearly he was just concerned as her Head of House, confusing his sense of responsibility for caring, or some kind of paternal spirit.
As she watched Snape stalk around the office continuing to rant and rave, an eerie image began to fill her mind's eye. One of her home, in the study that was her mothers, sitting there after Octavious had been in the FireWhiskey all day. Of him screaming at her for a crime which had never happened, a figment of his very pickled imagination. Of her being helpless and weak, unwilling to call for help from anyone, unwilling to show him her terror, uncertain whether of not she would see her mother again. Sitting there, horrified, waiting for him to deliver the first strike. She never had to wait more than five minutes. Thinking of this memory, unbeknownst to her, Cassandra's heart rate shot up, and a sweat burst forth from her brow. A feeling of unreality was about her, and she was hearing the drunken slurring of her mother's crazed boyfriend. ("Good Friend" as her mother had called him. Her " good friend." Indeed.) Cassandra could feel her stomach tightening, her toes curling inside her shoes. Fingers reaching around to the cold back of the chair, wrapping around the smooth varnished wood, nails digging into her flesh as they curled back into themselves. Suddenly she was seven again; alone, unmagical and very helpless. Pathetic, weak, and praying she would survive. Praying to who? She never understood that, it wasn't talked about in their house. But someone must have listened, because he only hit her 'til she bled. Which was a good thing. If she was bleeding, it meant she wasn't dead yet. A very good thing. Eyes glazes, watching in abject fear, Cassandra watched as the man in the billowing black capes came nearer. What she saw was a little different, and that paralyzed her. Tall, husky and moustached, wearing huge navy robes that always smelt of liquor, Octavious loomed over her in her mind. As he approached her chair and she could feel the robes brush against her hand, he raised his arms again. Doing the only thing she could think of, Cassandra dove onto the floor with a crash, cracking her head hard in the process. Seeing stars and ears ringing, she lay there petrified waiting for the blows to come raining down upon her.
The Potions Master stared down at the girl in disbelief. Surely, he had been going on a bit, trying to give her a bit of a scare for her own good, but even Longbottom stood for worse than this. What the hell had he said or done? Kneeling down, mind flashing back to watching her in the infirmary bed and wondering if he could have triggered another funny turn, he reached out to check her pulse. Her eyes were open, and her chest was heaving up and down, but something was definitely wrong. She appeared to be staring at something invisible behind him. As he leaned over to look closer, she brought her hands over her face and turned to curl into a ball. Something triggered within him. Drawing back, he spoke softly, softer in fact than he thought he was capable of.
" Cassandra! Cassie!! It's alright now, no one is going to hurt you. It's ok, come on let's get up."
"Are you sure?" A very small timid voice answered his. He barely recognized it.
"Yes, it's safe now, he's gone." It was a guess, and a wild one at that, but it was all Snape could think of in this moment.
"Alright." The girl sat up and looked around, starting with a panicked look in her eye.
Looking up at the worried Professor, she gasped out " What have I done? How did I get down here on the floor?" and then " Where did he go?"
"Who, Cassandra?" Snape truly hope that she might give him an answer. Realizing what she had just said brought Cassandra back to reality very quickly. Drawing air in between her teeth, she blushed.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I must have been daydreaming and lost my balance." She rubbed the lump appearing on the side of her head, wondering how she could be such a complete idiot. He would think she was a maniac. They were the only two people in the room, and, clearly, had been the only two all along. What had happened, it had been so real … again.
"I highly doubt there was much "dream" to it, child. " He spoke very kindly now. "Why don't we go sit you down by the fire, maybe I can get you a hot chocolate?"
Standing up, Cassandra climbed into her favorite chair in the study. Snape busied himself at his desk, and walked over with two steaming hot mugs. Trying to smile at her, making his face look entirely foreign, Snape sat down in the second chair. He looked at her expectantly. She took a slip of her hot chocolate, admiring the Magical Unmelting Marshmallows which twinkled and changed color constantly. A very sweet touch she thought he must think I've jumped off the deep end . But then on the other hand, Cassandra herself could not explain what had happened, and cared not to delve into her shadowed past.
Snape watched her with interest as she drank her hot chocolate. It hadn't been his first choice in a drink for himself, but he felt it inappropriate to drink alcohol in front of students. A nasty habit to start with, not one to encourage in the impressionable youngsters. Watching her face closely, he thought of the disclosing spell Madame Pomfrey had used when the girl had been unconscious. Fractured cheekbone, broken nose, and injuries to the forearms… she had quoted to him. Untreated by a medic. Quick fix job. Lip curling involuntarily, he knew better than to ask the girl outright. She would merely deny it, as she did everything else. Sighing deeply, Snape felt whoever had done this to her must have been a very powerful wizard to mend bones. Medi-Witches train for years to attain those skills, and brewing such potions was a science few had perfected. Very few in fact. Only Snape and two others in England could pull it off. Snape felt compelled to bring her torturer to justice, no matter the cost. It may take him many years, but the man who treated this beautiful young lady this way would be sorry. VERY sorry, if he had a say about it.
" I'm sorry that I angered you earlier." Cassandra spoke cautiously. "I didn't mean to upset you, or seem to not care. I am so grateful for all that you have done for me. I just didn't want to believe that, that..."
the girls chin was quivering, and she bit her lip hard to stop it. Snape ran his tongue over the various old bite marks on the inside of his bottom lip, and wondered.
"That there was something so WRONG with me!" she finally spat out, bursting into tears for the first time. "I'm just a freak!"
Snape went to pat her on the arm, but pulled back ,recalling her earlier reaction.
. "No," he said blandly " that would be Potter."
The sobbing stopped for a moment as she looked up to see if he was serious, not realizing it was Snapes excuse for a joke.
"Cassandra, what has caused you such an inordinate amount of stress? I think maybe we should go and get you something to calm down. Madame Pomfrey is good at helping with these kind of things."
"No thank you! " she said quickly. " I'm ready to go to dinner and then to bed now. Really, I'm fine, just tired from a busy day. Really, I have some homework to do, and should head back to the House now. Thanks so much for the hot chocolate!" She rose in her chair to leave.
"Since when does the student dismiss the teacher, Miss Caliga? Please sit down again, I will have some food brought here. Dinner is basically over by this point as it is. Why are you so afraid of Madame Pomfrey? She is very good at what she does, and can heal anything!"
Before she knew what had happened, the words were out of her mouth.
"I can't lock the doors there! I won't be safe!"
"Safe? Child, there is no safer place than Hogwarts! Nothing worse than student teasing will harm you here. Again, what are you so afraid of?"
She just looked at him with those dark, cold eyes. Looking into them, he could read nothing. When this one had a secret, no one would discover it until she wanted you to. Reminded him so much of his own eyes, Snape looked away for a moment, the first one to break the connection.
"Has someone hurt you, Cassandra? Have you been threatened? I can help you, whoever did it shall be expelled. If it was someone from outside the school, they can't apparate or use Floo to get here. There are charms preventing this . And if it is someone from outside the school, I would be more than happy to deal with them for you."
Narrowing her eyes, she replied cagily. " No sir, no one has hurt me at the school. And, I am sorry. I will go to the infirmary tomorrow and get my next set of medications. Again, I am sorry for having disturbed you. May I go now?"
The thought of walking back to the common room along the corridors filled with dark nooks and shadows was daunting. The sooner she got out of here, the better. It would get very dark very quickly.
"Don't worry about going back to the Common Room alone, I will escort you." Snape quietly interjected, seemingly reading her thoughts.
"Oh! "Cassandra looked at him, shocked. "Thanks for the offer. It's just kinda dark down here in the dungeons. I don't really like it."
"Not many do. It's a good place to hide, you are correct in that, Miss Caliga.'
Looking over to his desk, Snape was pleased to see a gleaming tray of sandwiches had appeared he stood up to go and bring them over, and she eyed him warily.
"Dinner is served. We will eat first, and then I can take you back to your Housemates. Enjoy."
They ate in silence, both ensconced in their own dark thoughts. When Snape had finished his last Watercress sandwich, he got up from his desk to take Cassandra home. She was fast asleep in the chair, curled with her feet drawn up under her. Pleased that the sleeping draught he had slipped into the girl's drink had been so effective, Snape reached down and took one of the velvet blankets covering his chair and wrapped it around the sleeping figure. Let her sleep here then, he thought to himself maybe she'll talk in her sleep, and I can get some answers. At least maybe we can both get some rest. He stretched himself into the second chair, lowered the fire slightly with a flick of his wand, and put his hands behind his head, looking over at the girl. Her resting form held no peace, he noted, she was still wound tight, ready for anything that might come her way. Yawning , he prepared for a long night and a sore neck. He was not prepared to be startled out of sleep less than an hour later by Cassandra's shrieks of terror.
"NO!!!!!" She howled out in her sleep " NO MORE!!!!!"
It was one of the most devastating things he had ever heard. Somewhere between wail of fear and a beg for mercy, the sound was subhuman. Primal, like an animal slowly being devoured by a larger predator. Jumping up form his seat, he rushed over to her unthinking.
"Cassandra! You must wake up! Cassandra!! " Snape grabbed her up in his arms, shaking her slightly, then holding her tight to his chest.
"Child, wake up! It's only a dream, you're going to wake the entire castle!"
Snape momentarily thought of how it might look if someone burst into his office just then, with him clutching a hysterical struggling and very pretty student in his arms. That would take an inordinate about of explaining. Once again Snape felt blessed by the choice of his dungeons for his quarters. Stroking the girl's slick ebony head of hair, he was relieved when she stopped screaming and just held onto his robes, shaking and whimpering.
"What was it? What came after you in your dreams?"
She looked up at the Professor, for once unembarrassed by her need for comfort, wrapping her fingers into the folds of his robe.
"It was not a dream, it was a premonition." She spoke in a dull tone, seemingly dry mouthed.
Stunned that a student could decide that for herself, impressed if it was really the truth, Snape could only ask one thing.
"What happened?"
She looked at him, a light of terror now entering her eyes.
"I am not safe here at the Castle. He is coming."
Once again, I only own Caliga and her ruddy cat. If you feel the story is going too slowly, please take it up with the characters. They have completely taken over, and when I sit here typing they just tell me what to say. For anyone who wondered, I actually do not know a ton about drugs, etc… I just try to research whatever I write about a little bit so that I can give a better portrayal. What happens to Cassandra in this chapter can and does, actually happen to abuse survivors. Once again, I am simply a JK Rowling fan in love with a Slytherin Man!!! Please forgive Snape his trespasses, he has had about all he can take at this point. (
Breaking Point
A week later, things seemed to have settled down around Slytherin House, as much as is possible, considering that it WAS Slytherin, after all. No shortage of troubles and issues in that house… thank goodness for the happy- go-lucky HufflePuffs to balance out the angst load in the school.
Seated in potions class according to their Year-End Projects groups, the class was anxiously awaiting Snape's response to their idea for the way to find a cure for Muggle illnesses. They were all seated, and he was currently shuffling through the pile of parchments in front of him, grunting and sneering as he sorted them into piles.
"The acceptable." He pointed to two parchments on the left side of his mammoth mahogany desk.
"The Unacceptable." A rather larger pile at the center of his desk.
"And, last but most certainly not least, the work which can only be called pure crap!" His voice had risen to a murderous level.
By this point, most of the class was staring down at their desks in horror, and had turned various shades of green or gray. Poor Neville Longbottom was holding back either tears or nausea (possibly both), and Ron Weasley looked as if he was waiting for another Howler from his mother. Looking over to her left, Cassandra noticed that through this all, Draco Malfoy wore his characteristic smirk,. Seeing her look, he reached over and patted Cassandra on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about it, Caliga" he drawled at her, looking smug. "We've got it in the bag. Granger did the whole thing, and I have no concerns whatsoever."
Cassandra nodded slightly. This was true. She and Malfoy had conveniently not found the time to meet up with their Gryffindorian cohorts, and Granger had been left to do the proposal on her own. She had actually seemed quite pleased by that, and Cassandra was beginning to wonder if the girl wasn't a control freak, amongst other things. Hearing their comments, Hermione shot daggers at them with her eyes.
"True enough, I did it. Though I don't doubt that you two still won't take full credit for the marks" She hissed at them through her teeth.
"What was that, Miss Granger?" Snape asked in an oily voice. "You don't have time to listen to my comments, you would rather teach class yourself I presume? TEN POINTS!!"
Hermione went a vicious shade of red, and moved over towards Harry, away from the students who had just cost her valuable House Points. Harry gave Malfoy a threatening look, and Cassandra guessed that there would be a duel later that night. It would be interesting to watch, with the amount of hatred those two held for each other. She would have to find out from Malfoy where it would be, and find a place out of wand range to sit and watch. Hopefully, she would learn a curse or two that way. Meanwhile, Snape was stalking about the class, handing back their papers.
"Any of the groups which did not have an acceptable paper will be rewriting it for me by tomorrow, when I will be graced by your presence again ." He hissed out the last few words. " And it BETTER be acceptable by then."
Walking past their bench, Snape handed a parchment to Draco, loosing the sneer for a moment and replacing it with a raised eyebrow.
"Well done, Malfoy. Who would have thought that you had such an intense interest in Muggle illnesses. Your group's paper was only one of the two which were acceptable. However, I want it to be more concise next time - I don't need 4 feet of parchment in such tiny handwriting, as neat as it may be." He swished away to hand out more papers. Hermione reached over, trying to snatch the paper out of Malfoy's hand.
"Let me bloody well see it!!! I'm the one who wrote the damned thing, I want to see what Professor Snape thought of my ideas!"
"Well, Mudblood " Draco lowered his voice dramatically. " I guess the old purity first rule applies here."
Cassandra shivered involuntarily. If only he knew, her life would be a living hell. Harry lunged over at Malfoy, wand out .
"One more word, you piece of Crup shit, and you will officially be talking out of your ass. I've learned a hex or two over the last summer, you better watch your back!"
Cowed for the moment, clearly thinking about the reifications of Potter's threat, Draco begrudgingly handed the paper to Cassandra.
"Do with it as you see fit, my Slytherin sister!" He winked at her. More chills down her spine. Had she missed something? Malfoy?? He was hooked up with Pansy Parkinson wasn't he? She went to take the parchment, and Malfoy's hand touched hers. Cassandra nearly jumped out of her seat. Their hands had actually sparked when they touched. What did this all mean? Looking up from the paper which she quickly handed over to Hermione, she noted that Pansy Parkinson had been watching, and was trembling with rage. This was going to be an interesting night indeed. And Cassandra still had no clue what the hell was going on. As the groups continued to look over their papers, Snape announced that they would be having a guest in the classroom tomorrow.
" We will be having a visitor from the ministry of Magic tomorrow, class. And I expect everyone to be on their best behavior. We will be attempting a from of Curse-Blocking Serum, and then testing it out on each of you in turn." He sent a malicious look over to where Harry and Hermione sat. " I suggest you do your best to read up on what will be required. I can't guarantee how nasty these curses might get. You will be working in Slytherin/Gryffindor team again, and I will tell you your partner at the beginning of tomorrows class."
The whole room was buzzing with excitement and nerves, all the students wishing they could pick their own partner. Apparently, there were a few debts that needed to be paid out between the two houses. Angry looks and unspoken threats were being fired all over the room ,and a few had already pulled out their wands in anticipation. Snape licked his lips a bit, and looked out over the angry sea of students with what might have been described as a smile, had it not been Snape.
"Dismissed!!" He called out.
The usual shuffling and organizing as the students put away their cauldrons and gathered up bookbags, ready to go back to their Houses for the day. Cassandra was headed out the door when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Without even turning, she began to speak
"Pansy, I don't know what the hell was going on, so why don't you just fuck off!" She spat out.
"Indeed."
Cassandra blanched hard, her back stiffening like a cadaver. Damn, it wasn't Pansy after all. Only one person in the entire school used that word, and she was aware that she had just told her Head of House to fuck off. Expulsions, suspension and detentions ran through her mind. Unable to breathe, Cassandra turned around shame-facedly. She looked up at him, horrified at the consequences of her actions.
"Oh sir, I am so very, very sorry! I thought, I thought…" Her voice trailed off . Cassandra couldn't get enough air to complete the sentence.
"My office, now." His tone unreadable, Snape spun around, releasing her shoulder. She couldn't read the expression on his face, and assumed that a visit to Dumbledore's office would be following the visit to Snape's. Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn't think of what to say or do. It was clear her fate was no longer in her hands. He moved out of the way so that Cassandra could enter, and then shut the door with a click. She shivered in the dark office, it felt damp and cold. Or maybe it was simply the cold clutch of fear in her stomach. She really couldn't be sure, and wrapped her robes around her. Noting this, Snape took his wand from his sleeve and pointed at the fireplace.
" Incendio."
"Thank-you." Cassandra whispered.
"I felt a draft" was the only reply she got. Looking around, Cassandra thought back on the only other time she had been her. She felt intensely guilty thinking of how kind Professor Snape had been to her on so many occasions, and felt tears coming into her eyes. TEARS!! Of all the foolish, weak and inappropriate things to do. She brushed her cheek with the edge of her robe, hoping Snape hadn't noticed. If her had, he was giving her no sign.
"Sit."
He motioned to a small, hard-backed chair across from his rather imposing desk. He went around the back to sit down, and she noted that the area behind the desk was raised, making him look even more imposing than usual. Swallowing hard, Cassandra sat down on the edge of the chair. Just incase she had to make a run for it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if the chamber pot was still behind the desk. She continued to stare down at the floor. The room was very silent, even the fire made no noise. Her breathing seemed loud and embarrassing, she stared down hard at the floor, willing herself to be strong. She was not feeling very strong. She felt as if her legs had gone to jelly, and her stomach to stone. A twinge of the old stomach problems arose, and she pushed it back down. Last thing I want is a sympathy vote. I don't deserve it. I deserve to be fed to a particularly grumpy Kappa at this point in time. Her thoughts were interrupted as Snape began to speak.
"We need to talk." He touched his temple with his right hand. "But maybe you are not in the mood?"
"No sir, I mean, yes sir. If you wish" she stuttered out.
"Very well. You will not be permitted to participate in tomorrow's activity with the class." He said it as if he were administering a death sentence. " I am sorry."
Cassandra looked at him questioningly, secretly relieved that she would not be the object of an angry Gryffindor hex. " As a punishment?"
"A punishment? Whatever for? "
Immediately after the words left his lips, realizations dawned on the man's face. His lip twinged, and if she hadn't known better, Cassandra would have thought he was fighting back a smile.
"Apology accepted. Miss Parkinson usually provokes what she gets. However, " he added " I might suggest you know who you are speaking to before you open your mouth. Had you said that in front of McGonagall, for example…"
Now it was Cassandra's turn to stifle a smile, she brought her robe sleeve up over her face and coughed into it. She could well imagine the look on McGongalls face at such language. She could also imagine the punishment, involving hundreds of House Points, she was sure.
"Yes sir."
" Now, the real reason that I wanted to talk to you . " He suddenly looked as serious and stern as ever. "I assume Madame Pomfrey has begun another course of medications with you? I haven't had time to talk with her this week, she has been exceptionally busy."
"Well, actually, no sir. " Cassandra said uncomfortably, once again embarrassed by her fear of the infirmary. " I've been feeling just fine, so I just kind of figured that I would be fine now, and continue on
…"
Snape did not look impressed. In fact, the twitch at his left nostril had just started up, and that was generally saved especially for the Gryffindors, that she remembered. Cassandra braced herself for the irate lecture she was certain would come. Instead, she was met by an even deadlier and even more confusing silence. Daring to look up into the professor's face again, she was astounded that he looked, well, sad. Snape sad? Of course he gets sad, just like he rest of us do, Caliga! He's a human, a man. Not a monster or a machine. Do you really think that when he was your age he dreamed of being a POTIONS TEACHER?? Do you think that he truly enjoys begin alone all the time, having most of his students detest him? You've looked into those eyes, you've read sorrow and anger and pain, and more… stop begin such a self centered little git for once, and use some of the brains the gods chose to put into your head!
"Professor? " she asked timidly.
He snapped his eyes back into focus, once again looking at her, rather than through her, as he had been doing moments ago. Narrowing his eyes, the anger Cassandra had been waiting for came on full force.
"So insolent, stupid, rude, self-absorbed ingrate!" He howled at her, loosing control of his tonality. Cassandra pushed her chair back as Snape came around his desk, stopping directly in front of her. "He took a quick breath, trembling with rage as he prepared to continue his rant.
"Do you have any idea what is at risk here? How dare you have such disregard for your safety and health? Do you think that you just get to choose whether you live or die? That choice does not belong to you!! If we were left to make such decisions ourselves, left to our own devices. Most of us wouldn't even exist! One little problem, and "poof" we'd just Avada kedavra ourselves and end it all in front of a mirror! It's not that simple."
Arms raised, he was just barely keeping any shred of control he had left. Cassandra knew she deserved it, and yet felt possibly he had gone a little overboard. Death Wish? Her? She'd never actually thought about it that way. On the other hand, who did she have that actually cared about her? No family, no real friends (unless you could count whatever-it-was that went on with Malfoy, and she just couldn't believe that had really been anything). She had thought possibly Snape might have cared somewhat, but clearly he was just concerned as her Head of House, confusing his sense of responsibility for caring, or some kind of paternal spirit.
As she watched Snape stalk around the office continuing to rant and rave, an eerie image began to fill her mind's eye. One of her home, in the study that was her mothers, sitting there after Octavious had been in the FireWhiskey all day. Of him screaming at her for a crime which had never happened, a figment of his very pickled imagination. Of her being helpless and weak, unwilling to call for help from anyone, unwilling to show him her terror, uncertain whether of not she would see her mother again. Sitting there, horrified, waiting for him to deliver the first strike. She never had to wait more than five minutes. Thinking of this memory, unbeknownst to her, Cassandra's heart rate shot up, and a sweat burst forth from her brow. A feeling of unreality was about her, and she was hearing the drunken slurring of her mother's crazed boyfriend. ("Good Friend" as her mother had called him. Her " good friend." Indeed.) Cassandra could feel her stomach tightening, her toes curling inside her shoes. Fingers reaching around to the cold back of the chair, wrapping around the smooth varnished wood, nails digging into her flesh as they curled back into themselves. Suddenly she was seven again; alone, unmagical and very helpless. Pathetic, weak, and praying she would survive. Praying to who? She never understood that, it wasn't talked about in their house. But someone must have listened, because he only hit her 'til she bled. Which was a good thing. If she was bleeding, it meant she wasn't dead yet. A very good thing. Eyes glazes, watching in abject fear, Cassandra watched as the man in the billowing black capes came nearer. What she saw was a little different, and that paralyzed her. Tall, husky and moustached, wearing huge navy robes that always smelt of liquor, Octavious loomed over her in her mind. As he approached her chair and she could feel the robes brush against her hand, he raised his arms again. Doing the only thing she could think of, Cassandra dove onto the floor with a crash, cracking her head hard in the process. Seeing stars and ears ringing, she lay there petrified waiting for the blows to come raining down upon her.
The Potions Master stared down at the girl in disbelief. Surely, he had been going on a bit, trying to give her a bit of a scare for her own good, but even Longbottom stood for worse than this. What the hell had he said or done? Kneeling down, mind flashing back to watching her in the infirmary bed and wondering if he could have triggered another funny turn, he reached out to check her pulse. Her eyes were open, and her chest was heaving up and down, but something was definitely wrong. She appeared to be staring at something invisible behind him. As he leaned over to look closer, she brought her hands over her face and turned to curl into a ball. Something triggered within him. Drawing back, he spoke softly, softer in fact than he thought he was capable of.
" Cassandra! Cassie!! It's alright now, no one is going to hurt you. It's ok, come on let's get up."
"Are you sure?" A very small timid voice answered his. He barely recognized it.
"Yes, it's safe now, he's gone." It was a guess, and a wild one at that, but it was all Snape could think of in this moment.
"Alright." The girl sat up and looked around, starting with a panicked look in her eye.
Looking up at the worried Professor, she gasped out " What have I done? How did I get down here on the floor?" and then " Where did he go?"
"Who, Cassandra?" Snape truly hope that she might give him an answer. Realizing what she had just said brought Cassandra back to reality very quickly. Drawing air in between her teeth, she blushed.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I must have been daydreaming and lost my balance." She rubbed the lump appearing on the side of her head, wondering how she could be such a complete idiot. He would think she was a maniac. They were the only two people in the room, and, clearly, had been the only two all along. What had happened, it had been so real … again.
"I highly doubt there was much "dream" to it, child. " He spoke very kindly now. "Why don't we go sit you down by the fire, maybe I can get you a hot chocolate?"
Standing up, Cassandra climbed into her favorite chair in the study. Snape busied himself at his desk, and walked over with two steaming hot mugs. Trying to smile at her, making his face look entirely foreign, Snape sat down in the second chair. He looked at her expectantly. She took a slip of her hot chocolate, admiring the Magical Unmelting Marshmallows which twinkled and changed color constantly. A very sweet touch she thought he must think I've jumped off the deep end . But then on the other hand, Cassandra herself could not explain what had happened, and cared not to delve into her shadowed past.
Snape watched her with interest as she drank her hot chocolate. It hadn't been his first choice in a drink for himself, but he felt it inappropriate to drink alcohol in front of students. A nasty habit to start with, not one to encourage in the impressionable youngsters. Watching her face closely, he thought of the disclosing spell Madame Pomfrey had used when the girl had been unconscious. Fractured cheekbone, broken nose, and injuries to the forearms… she had quoted to him. Untreated by a medic. Quick fix job. Lip curling involuntarily, he knew better than to ask the girl outright. She would merely deny it, as she did everything else. Sighing deeply, Snape felt whoever had done this to her must have been a very powerful wizard to mend bones. Medi-Witches train for years to attain those skills, and brewing such potions was a science few had perfected. Very few in fact. Only Snape and two others in England could pull it off. Snape felt compelled to bring her torturer to justice, no matter the cost. It may take him many years, but the man who treated this beautiful young lady this way would be sorry. VERY sorry, if he had a say about it.
" I'm sorry that I angered you earlier." Cassandra spoke cautiously. "I didn't mean to upset you, or seem to not care. I am so grateful for all that you have done for me. I just didn't want to believe that, that..."
the girls chin was quivering, and she bit her lip hard to stop it. Snape ran his tongue over the various old bite marks on the inside of his bottom lip, and wondered.
"That there was something so WRONG with me!" she finally spat out, bursting into tears for the first time. "I'm just a freak!"
Snape went to pat her on the arm, but pulled back ,recalling her earlier reaction.
. "No," he said blandly " that would be Potter."
The sobbing stopped for a moment as she looked up to see if he was serious, not realizing it was Snapes excuse for a joke.
"Cassandra, what has caused you such an inordinate amount of stress? I think maybe we should go and get you something to calm down. Madame Pomfrey is good at helping with these kind of things."
"No thank you! " she said quickly. " I'm ready to go to dinner and then to bed now. Really, I'm fine, just tired from a busy day. Really, I have some homework to do, and should head back to the House now. Thanks so much for the hot chocolate!" She rose in her chair to leave.
"Since when does the student dismiss the teacher, Miss Caliga? Please sit down again, I will have some food brought here. Dinner is basically over by this point as it is. Why are you so afraid of Madame Pomfrey? She is very good at what she does, and can heal anything!"
Before she knew what had happened, the words were out of her mouth.
"I can't lock the doors there! I won't be safe!"
"Safe? Child, there is no safer place than Hogwarts! Nothing worse than student teasing will harm you here. Again, what are you so afraid of?"
She just looked at him with those dark, cold eyes. Looking into them, he could read nothing. When this one had a secret, no one would discover it until she wanted you to. Reminded him so much of his own eyes, Snape looked away for a moment, the first one to break the connection.
"Has someone hurt you, Cassandra? Have you been threatened? I can help you, whoever did it shall be expelled. If it was someone from outside the school, they can't apparate or use Floo to get here. There are charms preventing this . And if it is someone from outside the school, I would be more than happy to deal with them for you."
Narrowing her eyes, she replied cagily. " No sir, no one has hurt me at the school. And, I am sorry. I will go to the infirmary tomorrow and get my next set of medications. Again, I am sorry for having disturbed you. May I go now?"
The thought of walking back to the common room along the corridors filled with dark nooks and shadows was daunting. The sooner she got out of here, the better. It would get very dark very quickly.
"Don't worry about going back to the Common Room alone, I will escort you." Snape quietly interjected, seemingly reading her thoughts.
"Oh! "Cassandra looked at him, shocked. "Thanks for the offer. It's just kinda dark down here in the dungeons. I don't really like it."
"Not many do. It's a good place to hide, you are correct in that, Miss Caliga.'
Looking over to his desk, Snape was pleased to see a gleaming tray of sandwiches had appeared he stood up to go and bring them over, and she eyed him warily.
"Dinner is served. We will eat first, and then I can take you back to your Housemates. Enjoy."
They ate in silence, both ensconced in their own dark thoughts. When Snape had finished his last Watercress sandwich, he got up from his desk to take Cassandra home. She was fast asleep in the chair, curled with her feet drawn up under her. Pleased that the sleeping draught he had slipped into the girl's drink had been so effective, Snape reached down and took one of the velvet blankets covering his chair and wrapped it around the sleeping figure. Let her sleep here then, he thought to himself maybe she'll talk in her sleep, and I can get some answers. At least maybe we can both get some rest. He stretched himself into the second chair, lowered the fire slightly with a flick of his wand, and put his hands behind his head, looking over at the girl. Her resting form held no peace, he noted, she was still wound tight, ready for anything that might come her way. Yawning , he prepared for a long night and a sore neck. He was not prepared to be startled out of sleep less than an hour later by Cassandra's shrieks of terror.
"NO!!!!!" She howled out in her sleep " NO MORE!!!!!"
It was one of the most devastating things he had ever heard. Somewhere between wail of fear and a beg for mercy, the sound was subhuman. Primal, like an animal slowly being devoured by a larger predator. Jumping up form his seat, he rushed over to her unthinking.
"Cassandra! You must wake up! Cassandra!! " Snape grabbed her up in his arms, shaking her slightly, then holding her tight to his chest.
"Child, wake up! It's only a dream, you're going to wake the entire castle!"
Snape momentarily thought of how it might look if someone burst into his office just then, with him clutching a hysterical struggling and very pretty student in his arms. That would take an inordinate about of explaining. Once again Snape felt blessed by the choice of his dungeons for his quarters. Stroking the girl's slick ebony head of hair, he was relieved when she stopped screaming and just held onto his robes, shaking and whimpering.
"What was it? What came after you in your dreams?"
She looked up at the Professor, for once unembarrassed by her need for comfort, wrapping her fingers into the folds of his robe.
"It was not a dream, it was a premonition." She spoke in a dull tone, seemingly dry mouthed.
Stunned that a student could decide that for herself, impressed if it was really the truth, Snape could only ask one thing.
"What happened?"
She looked at him, a light of terror now entering her eyes.
"I am not safe here at the Castle. He is coming."