Still a HP fan in love with a Slytherin Man. Why is it I tend to fall for
angst-ridden assholes, anyways??? Thanks for the reviews, please keep
sending them and I will keep trying to do what my characters tell me. Wait
'til you read this chapter - Wow. Talk about needing therapy!
Chapter 16
Cassandra opened her eyes, startled to find that she was once again in Madame Pomfrey's care. It took her a moment or two to realize that the room she was in was not her own, and that there was someone else laying in the next bed over. Turning her head to better see which student it was, she sat up with a start when it connected that it was none other than her head of House and Potions Teacher, Professor Snape. She lay quickly back down when she saw that the headmaster was sitting in a chair beside the other bed, and closed her eyes for a moment, wondering if perhaps it was not all a dream. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she cautiously opened an eye to check again. Yes, it was Snape, and he appeared to be asleep. That was strange.
Trying to remember what she had last been doing when she was in class, and what might have occurred to place them both here. Had there been an explosion, one of the cauldrons maybe? Or had there been an attack on the school? Had Potter hexed them both? Potter…. Cassandra saw in her minds eye the last moments of Potions class that morning 9 was it even still the same day, she couldn't tell), and remembered the last voice she had heard.
"Octavious." She spoke to herself, and removed the covers to go and get dressed, so she could better protect herself should need be. Where was her wand? Looking around franticly, she snatched it up from her bedside table, where it was sitting next to a gorgeous bouquet of roses and carnations. Pausing for a moment, reaching for her robes which were at the edge of the bed, she looked at the card on the flowers.
'To the most electric girl in Hogwarts. Get better so we can make sparks fly soon! I'll kill whoever did this to you. Malfoy' She took in her breath quickly. So, he DID have a thing for her after all. It wouldn't be so bad, but she really didn't have time to worry about amorous Slytherins right now. She had to get dressed, and get out of here. He would know where to find her. Rising, she threw her robes on over her gown, planning to go straight to her quarters to get some more clothes. Whatever she had been wearing would be brought up by the house elves, that was no problem. She was pretty sure the vase of flowers would arrive in her bedroom as well. Attention to detail was a hallmark of a good house elf, and Hogwarts' were notorious for a job well done.
"Leaving so soon? I might need some company, Miss Caliga. Headmaster Dumbledore has many things to attend to, I am sure." He paused, catching his breath " and I believe that we may have some things to discuss, you and I."
Swinging her black robes over her shoulders, she fought back the panic rising within her to speak to the teacher in the bed. He was a grey pallor, and the few words he spoke seemed to tire him.
"I have to go to my quarters and get some clothes. He'll know where to find me if I stay here. I feel quite fine, I just need to keep out of his way." She carefully avoided naming the cause of her concern. "I'll come back really soon to see you, I promise. I don't want to abandon you here, after all the times you've stuck around for me."
" Ignoble is no longer in the castle, and he shall not be returning, I guarantee you that. Very soon he will no longer be able to walk the streets, let alone come and …." Snapes voice trailed off as a murderous look blackened his features.
Standing there open-mouthed and uncertain Cassandra didn't know what to say. How did he know about her mother's ex-boyfriend? Did he know what that wicked man had done to her, how weak and useless and pathetic she'd been? Did he know that at some level, though she couldn't say why, Cassandra had indeed felt she had deserved much of what had happened to her? Did he know that there was a full year of her life that she couldn't remember, no matter how much effort she put into it? She decided that sitting down on the bed might be a good idea after all. If Octavious was indeed out of the castle, it would be fine to stay with the Professor, and she felt it would be rude and disrespectful to leave without his permission.
"Yes, I am aware of what has happened, Cassandra. Of your, ….., history, shall we say, with Ignoble. I regret that he ever had the chance to lay his hands on you, and had I known, he would never have been allowed into the school, let alone MY Dungeons! He never had the right to touch you, to hurt you, to make you feel as if…" His breath caught in his throat, and Cassandra completed the sentence for him.
"As if I should be better of if I just died." Looking down ashamedly she sat down on the bed, feeling more alone than she had in years. Something was bothering her, more than their conversation. The feeling that Snape had read her mind (again), the feeling that he understood how she felt, as if there was some camaraderie there. Was that what made him so protective over her? Maybe he was like this with all his students. It's not like she was anything special to anyone, nor was she particularly good at anything. Closing her eyes momentarily, Cassandra raised a hand to her throbbing temple, which felt as if it might split in two at any moment.
"Do you remember anything of the dreams you had while you were sleeping?" He asked, "and would you mind sitting over here, where we could have a decent conversation, as much as I enjoy speaking to your robes."
"It's good to know that you're not dead yet, " she said unthinkingly, moving to the side of the bed nearer the Professor. "Haven't lost your smooth style or cutting wit." She was secretly dreading having to look him in the eyes. This was getting far too personal, far too quickly. She was so bloody tired, and really just wanted to go to her dorm, not face an inquisition.
He shot her a look, but then realized from the look on her face that the girl was sincerely frightened, and seemed somewhat concerned about him, and Snape's features softened. "I'll be fine in an hour or two. Just a little overtired, too many late nights and a shock too many today. I am not yours to worry about. But thank you, nonetheless. Now would you please consider my question?"
Tilting her head, and then deciding that it neither helped her headache nor cleared her thinking , she rubbed her forehead hard with her fingertips, wondering for a moment if it was possible to rub a hole in your forehead.. There was a scratching at the infirmary door, and receiving a nod from Snape she rose to investigate it. Walking across the cobbled floor, she opened the door to find that no one was there. Peering out into the hallway, she couldn't see anyone in sight.
"Malfoy, if that's you, I'll be out to see you tonight." She called into the stillness. There was no answer but her echo, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when the hem of her robes moved. Looking down, she was pleased to see a one-eyed skinny grey cat staring up at her, waiting to be held.
"Wisp! What are you doing here. I don't even think cats are allowed!" Cuddling him in her arms, she closed the door and went to sit down on the bed.
"I hope you're not allergic?" she asked tentatively.
" I will be fine. Classic timing, really. Now, think about the dream you had."
Feeling the cats soft fur under her fingertips, and playing idly with his rather fluffy tail, it all came back to her in a rush. Snape watched her features closely, trying to discern what she was thinking, hoping that this wouldn't all be too much in one day for the girl.
"It was a crazy dream, really it was a nightmare that I couldn't wake up out of. It was…. Horrible. Truly, professor, it was terrible. I really don't think you want to hear about this. "
"Trust me. I won't be anything I haven't heard or seen before. It is very difficult to shock me at this point in my life." Hoping that the girl didn't read too much into his comment, he carefully avoided her eyes. Last thing he needed was for this mistrustful child to believe he had set her up.
" It was like I was very little again, and he was there at my mom's house, drunk as usual. It was after a party, I think, I think that it might have been my birthday party! And so instead of hiding in my room as I usually did, as I should have, I was in my Mother's office playing with my new kitten, and keeping warm by the fire. I shouldn't have made him angry…. He went to hurt the cat, but then did the strangest thing. I was killed in my dream! Smashed into….." she found herself unable to complete her sentence. Biting her lip, she simply finished with "I thought that you were never supposed to die in dreams? But it just stopped. Went dark and stopped."
Snape sat up in the bed and sighed. Gods, let her handle this alright. He couldn't really tell whether she consciously knew all that had happened or if she was in denial. Well, I'll find out soon enough, he thought and began to speak.
"It was not just a dream, Cassandra. What you saw in your dream actually happened to you, when you were much younger. Madame Pomfrey said that you had somehow forgotten the event, what it was that he did. And now your mind has replayed the event for you . Clearly it was time for you to deal with what happened to you, in your mother's study…. Crystal's study…" His eyes slid off to the side, clearly thinking of another time and place.
Her eyes narrowed, Cassandra pulled her chin up off her chest looking at him in disbelief.
"How did you know…."
"What happened? " He interrupted her sentence. "You were talking in your sleep, you told us everything that happened on that night, about the final episode of abuse."
"My mother's name?" She finished quietly, the color draining away from her face..
"Oh, Gods."
Chapter 16
Cassandra opened her eyes, startled to find that she was once again in Madame Pomfrey's care. It took her a moment or two to realize that the room she was in was not her own, and that there was someone else laying in the next bed over. Turning her head to better see which student it was, she sat up with a start when it connected that it was none other than her head of House and Potions Teacher, Professor Snape. She lay quickly back down when she saw that the headmaster was sitting in a chair beside the other bed, and closed her eyes for a moment, wondering if perhaps it was not all a dream. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she cautiously opened an eye to check again. Yes, it was Snape, and he appeared to be asleep. That was strange.
Trying to remember what she had last been doing when she was in class, and what might have occurred to place them both here. Had there been an explosion, one of the cauldrons maybe? Or had there been an attack on the school? Had Potter hexed them both? Potter…. Cassandra saw in her minds eye the last moments of Potions class that morning 9 was it even still the same day, she couldn't tell), and remembered the last voice she had heard.
"Octavious." She spoke to herself, and removed the covers to go and get dressed, so she could better protect herself should need be. Where was her wand? Looking around franticly, she snatched it up from her bedside table, where it was sitting next to a gorgeous bouquet of roses and carnations. Pausing for a moment, reaching for her robes which were at the edge of the bed, she looked at the card on the flowers.
'To the most electric girl in Hogwarts. Get better so we can make sparks fly soon! I'll kill whoever did this to you. Malfoy' She took in her breath quickly. So, he DID have a thing for her after all. It wouldn't be so bad, but she really didn't have time to worry about amorous Slytherins right now. She had to get dressed, and get out of here. He would know where to find her. Rising, she threw her robes on over her gown, planning to go straight to her quarters to get some more clothes. Whatever she had been wearing would be brought up by the house elves, that was no problem. She was pretty sure the vase of flowers would arrive in her bedroom as well. Attention to detail was a hallmark of a good house elf, and Hogwarts' were notorious for a job well done.
"Leaving so soon? I might need some company, Miss Caliga. Headmaster Dumbledore has many things to attend to, I am sure." He paused, catching his breath " and I believe that we may have some things to discuss, you and I."
Swinging her black robes over her shoulders, she fought back the panic rising within her to speak to the teacher in the bed. He was a grey pallor, and the few words he spoke seemed to tire him.
"I have to go to my quarters and get some clothes. He'll know where to find me if I stay here. I feel quite fine, I just need to keep out of his way." She carefully avoided naming the cause of her concern. "I'll come back really soon to see you, I promise. I don't want to abandon you here, after all the times you've stuck around for me."
" Ignoble is no longer in the castle, and he shall not be returning, I guarantee you that. Very soon he will no longer be able to walk the streets, let alone come and …." Snapes voice trailed off as a murderous look blackened his features.
Standing there open-mouthed and uncertain Cassandra didn't know what to say. How did he know about her mother's ex-boyfriend? Did he know what that wicked man had done to her, how weak and useless and pathetic she'd been? Did he know that at some level, though she couldn't say why, Cassandra had indeed felt she had deserved much of what had happened to her? Did he know that there was a full year of her life that she couldn't remember, no matter how much effort she put into it? She decided that sitting down on the bed might be a good idea after all. If Octavious was indeed out of the castle, it would be fine to stay with the Professor, and she felt it would be rude and disrespectful to leave without his permission.
"Yes, I am aware of what has happened, Cassandra. Of your, ….., history, shall we say, with Ignoble. I regret that he ever had the chance to lay his hands on you, and had I known, he would never have been allowed into the school, let alone MY Dungeons! He never had the right to touch you, to hurt you, to make you feel as if…" His breath caught in his throat, and Cassandra completed the sentence for him.
"As if I should be better of if I just died." Looking down ashamedly she sat down on the bed, feeling more alone than she had in years. Something was bothering her, more than their conversation. The feeling that Snape had read her mind (again), the feeling that he understood how she felt, as if there was some camaraderie there. Was that what made him so protective over her? Maybe he was like this with all his students. It's not like she was anything special to anyone, nor was she particularly good at anything. Closing her eyes momentarily, Cassandra raised a hand to her throbbing temple, which felt as if it might split in two at any moment.
"Do you remember anything of the dreams you had while you were sleeping?" He asked, "and would you mind sitting over here, where we could have a decent conversation, as much as I enjoy speaking to your robes."
"It's good to know that you're not dead yet, " she said unthinkingly, moving to the side of the bed nearer the Professor. "Haven't lost your smooth style or cutting wit." She was secretly dreading having to look him in the eyes. This was getting far too personal, far too quickly. She was so bloody tired, and really just wanted to go to her dorm, not face an inquisition.
He shot her a look, but then realized from the look on her face that the girl was sincerely frightened, and seemed somewhat concerned about him, and Snape's features softened. "I'll be fine in an hour or two. Just a little overtired, too many late nights and a shock too many today. I am not yours to worry about. But thank you, nonetheless. Now would you please consider my question?"
Tilting her head, and then deciding that it neither helped her headache nor cleared her thinking , she rubbed her forehead hard with her fingertips, wondering for a moment if it was possible to rub a hole in your forehead.. There was a scratching at the infirmary door, and receiving a nod from Snape she rose to investigate it. Walking across the cobbled floor, she opened the door to find that no one was there. Peering out into the hallway, she couldn't see anyone in sight.
"Malfoy, if that's you, I'll be out to see you tonight." She called into the stillness. There was no answer but her echo, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when the hem of her robes moved. Looking down, she was pleased to see a one-eyed skinny grey cat staring up at her, waiting to be held.
"Wisp! What are you doing here. I don't even think cats are allowed!" Cuddling him in her arms, she closed the door and went to sit down on the bed.
"I hope you're not allergic?" she asked tentatively.
" I will be fine. Classic timing, really. Now, think about the dream you had."
Feeling the cats soft fur under her fingertips, and playing idly with his rather fluffy tail, it all came back to her in a rush. Snape watched her features closely, trying to discern what she was thinking, hoping that this wouldn't all be too much in one day for the girl.
"It was a crazy dream, really it was a nightmare that I couldn't wake up out of. It was…. Horrible. Truly, professor, it was terrible. I really don't think you want to hear about this. "
"Trust me. I won't be anything I haven't heard or seen before. It is very difficult to shock me at this point in my life." Hoping that the girl didn't read too much into his comment, he carefully avoided her eyes. Last thing he needed was for this mistrustful child to believe he had set her up.
" It was like I was very little again, and he was there at my mom's house, drunk as usual. It was after a party, I think, I think that it might have been my birthday party! And so instead of hiding in my room as I usually did, as I should have, I was in my Mother's office playing with my new kitten, and keeping warm by the fire. I shouldn't have made him angry…. He went to hurt the cat, but then did the strangest thing. I was killed in my dream! Smashed into….." she found herself unable to complete her sentence. Biting her lip, she simply finished with "I thought that you were never supposed to die in dreams? But it just stopped. Went dark and stopped."
Snape sat up in the bed and sighed. Gods, let her handle this alright. He couldn't really tell whether she consciously knew all that had happened or if she was in denial. Well, I'll find out soon enough, he thought and began to speak.
"It was not just a dream, Cassandra. What you saw in your dream actually happened to you, when you were much younger. Madame Pomfrey said that you had somehow forgotten the event, what it was that he did. And now your mind has replayed the event for you . Clearly it was time for you to deal with what happened to you, in your mother's study…. Crystal's study…" His eyes slid off to the side, clearly thinking of another time and place.
Her eyes narrowed, Cassandra pulled her chin up off her chest looking at him in disbelief.
"How did you know…."
"What happened? " He interrupted her sentence. "You were talking in your sleep, you told us everything that happened on that night, about the final episode of abuse."
"My mother's name?" She finished quietly, the color draining away from her face..
"Oh, Gods."