Chapter 2: The Da-Da Teacher
(Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I wouldn't be writing this, I'd be diving into a swimming pool chalk-filled with cash! Unfortunently, I don't have a cash pool nor do I know anybody with one.)
*The Hogwart's Express has just arrived at Hogwarts. Harry, Ron and Mary-Sue are suddenly joined by Hermione who popped out of no where. As they approch the school, Harry and Ron see more and more guys dressed as pimps.*
Harry: YO FIZZLE! It's Hermione.
Ron: Waz' up, dawg. Fizzle my nizzle!
Hermione: Excuse me?
Harry: He said waz' up!
Hermione: What-on-Earth...
Mary-Sue: Oh its all right Hermione, I, Mary-Sue, gave these preps a new, refreshing look. Watcha' think?
Hermione: YOU ARE A BLOODY FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary-Sue: *Sweetly* Excuse me?
Hermione: *Says through lock-jaw shut teeth* A bloody freak, it means you're a deranged fool with no manners and bad breath!
Mary-Sue: *whispers and is scared* Me...Bad Breath.....No! *Pops an altoid into her mouth*
Hermione: Whatever...
-Meanwhile-
Voldemort: *Is typing at a computer* What do you reckon his email is?
Peter: HarryPotter@aol.com?
Voldemort: Works for me...now how do you work this thing? *Moves mouse around*
-Back at Hogwarts-
*Harry, Ron, Mary-Sue and Hermione enter the great hall where they find Dumbledore is gone.*
Harry: Where is Dumbledore?
Ron: Hmm...I dunno!
Hermione: Oh, he die- I mean got fried! Hehehe
*The three of them walk to the Gryffindor table, followed by Mary-Sue*
Hermione: Why are you following us, you need to be sorted!
Mary-Sue: No I don't, I was told I can pick any house I want! :D
Hermione: Whatever...
*The four of them sit down as McGonnagol sits down in the Headmaster's chair*
McGonnagol: I'm sorry to inform you of this, but Dumbledore has been murdered. I am now Headmisstress! Dumbledore's funeral will be held tommorow when we bury him in the coffin of happiness.
All: Ooooooh, aaaaaaaah...coffin of happiness.
McGonnagol: Also, we have a brand new Defence Againts the Dark Arts teacher, Barney the dinosaur!
*Cricket chirps are heard*
Barney: Hi kids! I'm Barney, your Da-Da teacher. See, Defence Againts the Dark Arts has the initials D, A, D and A! Da-Da! I betyou all like singing. *Breaks into song* I LOVE YOOOOOUU, YOOOU LOV-
*McGonnagol cuts in*
McGonnagol: Whatever you freak, thats enough! Now eat you idiotic children!
*MGonnagol walks away.*
McGonnagol: Thank god that son of a ----- died, I'm headisstress now! *starts to sing* Go Miverna its ya' birthday, we gonna party like its ya' birthday.
(Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I wouldn't be writing this, I'd be diving into a swimming pool chalk-filled with cash! Unfortunently, I don't have a cash pool nor do I know anybody with one.)
*The Hogwart's Express has just arrived at Hogwarts. Harry, Ron and Mary-Sue are suddenly joined by Hermione who popped out of no where. As they approch the school, Harry and Ron see more and more guys dressed as pimps.*
Harry: YO FIZZLE! It's Hermione.
Ron: Waz' up, dawg. Fizzle my nizzle!
Hermione: Excuse me?
Harry: He said waz' up!
Hermione: What-on-Earth...
Mary-Sue: Oh its all right Hermione, I, Mary-Sue, gave these preps a new, refreshing look. Watcha' think?
Hermione: YOU ARE A BLOODY FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary-Sue: *Sweetly* Excuse me?
Hermione: *Says through lock-jaw shut teeth* A bloody freak, it means you're a deranged fool with no manners and bad breath!
Mary-Sue: *whispers and is scared* Me...Bad Breath.....No! *Pops an altoid into her mouth*
Hermione: Whatever...
-Meanwhile-
Voldemort: *Is typing at a computer* What do you reckon his email is?
Peter: HarryPotter@aol.com?
Voldemort: Works for me...now how do you work this thing? *Moves mouse around*
-Back at Hogwarts-
*Harry, Ron, Mary-Sue and Hermione enter the great hall where they find Dumbledore is gone.*
Harry: Where is Dumbledore?
Ron: Hmm...I dunno!
Hermione: Oh, he die- I mean got fried! Hehehe
*The three of them walk to the Gryffindor table, followed by Mary-Sue*
Hermione: Why are you following us, you need to be sorted!
Mary-Sue: No I don't, I was told I can pick any house I want! :D
Hermione: Whatever...
*The four of them sit down as McGonnagol sits down in the Headmaster's chair*
McGonnagol: I'm sorry to inform you of this, but Dumbledore has been murdered. I am now Headmisstress! Dumbledore's funeral will be held tommorow when we bury him in the coffin of happiness.
All: Ooooooh, aaaaaaaah...coffin of happiness.
McGonnagol: Also, we have a brand new Defence Againts the Dark Arts teacher, Barney the dinosaur!
*Cricket chirps are heard*
Barney: Hi kids! I'm Barney, your Da-Da teacher. See, Defence Againts the Dark Arts has the initials D, A, D and A! Da-Da! I betyou all like singing. *Breaks into song* I LOVE YOOOOOUU, YOOOU LOV-
*McGonnagol cuts in*
McGonnagol: Whatever you freak, thats enough! Now eat you idiotic children!
*MGonnagol walks away.*
McGonnagol: Thank god that son of a ----- died, I'm headisstress now! *starts to sing* Go Miverna its ya' birthday, we gonna party like its ya' birthday.