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Peace

-elodie

The Smiling Game

01: Rules

I picked up the used condom off the floor and dropped it in the trash. It had been my last one. Roger never bought them. He didn't care. We didn't use them much. Only when I ovulated. Nice situation, huh?

I lit myself a cigarette. I hated smoking but I'd gotten hooked in high school. It's not like I hadn't tried to quit. But Roger smokes about two packs a day. He says it makes his voice sound sexy. So it's hard to not smoke when the guy I'm supposed to be in love with smokes all the time.

I needed a fix.

My hands were shaking. I couldn't stop shivering. At first I'd thought it was from the constant cold in the loft but it soon sunk in that I was hooked.

It's a strange feeling being addicted. I'd always say that I was addicted to chocolate or addicted to boys. But to be truly addicted to something was a scary thing.

Cigarettes and heroin. I did some coke every now and again but I was never hooked. But I was a slave to heroin.

I can remember the first time I shot up so vividly. I'd run away from home, I was scared and alone in a city where no one cared. I met a guy at a bar and he took me home and told me he'd get me high if I'd fuck him.

So I did. It's not like I'd never fucked a guy before. Hell, my uncle would stick it in me almost every night back at home. I was the girl that the guys fucked. I was never the girlfriend.

He'd held my arm so gently and then slid that sharp needle under my skin and pushed the plunger. I'd never felt so good. Everything disappeared. Then I did the same to him and we fucked like rabbits for the rest of the night.

The next night, he introduced me to a few of his friends, including this one guy who had a band with a few of his friends. They were pretty good, they said. They had a gig that night. It was at a place called CBGB's.

"You wanna come?" My guy asked. Let's call him Henry. Just for kicks.

"Sure," I said. Why not? It could be fun.

The place was smoky and reeked of alcohol and sweet Mary Jane. Henry rolled a joint and let me take a hit. Soon I was high as a kite and everything made me laugh.

The band, I think Henry called them the Well Hungarians, were great. Magnetic. Especially the singer. They way he sang into that microphone, his knees bent with pure emotion were almost heartbreaking. I had to meet him.

After the show was over, I caught him as he was packing up all his stuff. I knew I looked good. All legs and tits was how my pervy uncle described me once. And boy did I know how to flaunt it.

"Hey there," I said.

He looked up. Wow, he really was that handsome up close. "Hey there, Cutie Pie. Enjoy the show?"

I smiled seductively, stepping into the light so I made sure he saw my cleavage. "Oh, yeah. It was great. I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

"Oh really?" He sidled up next to me. I could see him a bit better. Nice muscles… "What's your name?"

"April."

"Pretty name."

"What's yours?"

"Roger."

"I like it. Wanna fuck?"

I could see his eyes widen slightly but then he grinned. "Are you sure your little date won't mind?"

"What date?"

"The guy you walked in with."

Oh, yeah. Henry. I glanced around for him but I couldn't find him. He probably found someone new. "He's not my date. Just an…acquaintance of sorts. So, you game?"

Roger grinned and snapped the latches of his guitar case closed. "If you let me see that pretty smile I might consider it."

I smiled big, pressing myself against him. "Like it Lover Boy?"

"Love it."

A skinny blond guy called to Roger from a few yards away, "Roger, are you going to the Life with us?"

Roger turned to him and called back, "Nah, I'm just going home. See you in a while, Mark."

We went back to his loft on Avenue B and spent the night in his bed, high as the birds and the treetops. He was the best lay I'd had in awhile.

Still is. I glanced at his sleeping form in his bed. The sheets were tangled around his legs just perfectly, so that the sun shone in on his bare chest.

I needed a fix.

I used to ask myself, "April, what would you do for a fix?"

I wouldn't be able to answer. But now that I was hooked the answer was: anything.

I'd do anything. And that scared me but I was so strung out that I didn't care. I glanced back at Roger once before slipping out the door.

The man was waiting in his usual place. He was wearing his usual black trench coat and the usual smirk was on his face.

"Hey Honey Bunch. Will it be the usual?"

I hesitated before nodding. He held out his hand for the money. "I…I don't have any money."

The man's gaze darkened, but his smirk deepened. "Oh, you don't, huh? What will you give me in return?"

"Whatever you want," I said firmly.

"Well, I'm kinda horny right now. Looking for a nice quick fuck. What do you say about that, Honey Bunch? I always did want a piece of that ass."

I shivered. What was I doing? "You got it," I purred. "Can I get extra if I let you put it anywhere?"

The man shook his head in disbelief. "We'll see Honey Bunch."