Chapter 4: Blurry (It's Puddle of Mudd. I'm not proud, OK? I have horrible taste in music for the most part. Get used to it. I don't own anything but a massive stack of new burned CDs (Mutter, Sehnsucht, Grotesque, AND Herzeleid!). I did borrow Endless Waltz, but it's taped from Cartoon Network. Very very few hickeys were left in the conception of this chapter.)
Duo's eyes slowly opened, not popping open to greet the day, but not hiding from it or having to force their way past a layer of sleepiness to grind their way up his cornea.
He had been sleeping well, ever since Wufei had started to visit in the nights. His mind spun at the implications of what he had just thought and made it's first dirty joke of the day, which he rejected as unfit for human ears and forgot.
Really though, there's something about him that calms the killer in me. Hehe listens. He cares. Everyone else takes me at face value. To them I'm just a joker, a prankster, a fun guy. And they love me for it, they'll be my friendsbut none of them knows about the dreams.
None of them know that I'm a fucked up person. And if any of them did, I don't even know if they'd still like me. But Wufei knows, at least a little, and he comes back.
And when he comeseven just when I think about himI don't have to be a joker, and I don't have to be Shinigami. I can be Duo Maxwell.
I like being Duo Maxwell
Duo got up and made up a few more terrible and obscene jokes before heading down to breakfast.
*
Massaging his back, Wufei cursed viciously, and muttered about the injustice of spending eight hours sitting straight up.
At least I didn't dream about Meiran
And I DID dream about Duooh yes, indeed
Considering his last thought, Wufei groaned and collapsed face down on the bed. So now naked, writhing Duo in my dreams is a GOOD thing?
He had intended the question to be both rhetorical and unanswered, but a suprisingly large part of his mind immediately thought YES, but not as good as naked writhing Duo in real life.
And it's not just a physical attraction. The other pilots and the doctors see me as a tool, a machine. When I work, they say nothing, they only see me when I break. But DuoDuo sees everyone as a person, and tries to make the vast majority of them his friends.
AND he has a fine ass
Wufei groaned again and burrowed deeper into the sheets.
*
"Don't tell me you've finished Art of War already!"
It was unreasonably late, or rather early, again, and Duo was standing in front of Wufei's door, grin strangely absent.
"No, not yetmind if I sit? Need to talk about sumtin'"
Wufei was surprised when he actually waited to be invited in before sweeping to the bed and, with an impressive leap and spin, sat cross-legged on it, leaning against the pile of discarded pillows. Wufei only used one, or just slept against the wall.
With a sigh, the Chinese pilot joined Duo, with spine rigid and legs firmly folded on each other. He cocked his head at the American. What could it be that he wants to talk about? Has he noticed myattraction to him?
"I dream, Wu-man. A lot. I dream about death. I don't fear it, I don't dream about feeling it. I dream about BEING it, being Shinigami, about cutting people down and apart with Deathscythe, like I have time and time again."
This was the most serious Wufei had ever seen Duo, and it scared him slightly. The face before him was MADE for a smile or a grin and a twinkle in the eye that was conspicuously absent.
"And in my dreams, I see all the people my attacks are killing. They're people, Wu. People like you or me. Some of them have histories almost like ours, some of them are a little more normal, but they all have fantasies and crushes and silly little rituals when they brush their teeth. They all have favorite foods. They all dream of piloting a Gundam, or of taking one down. They all want a family. Some of them write poetry or stories, sneaking onto the computers when there aren't any officers watching or writing on paper, and some of them are artists, sketching whatever they can. They might even be pretty good.
"But it doesn't matter to me, 'Fei. I don't care about their lives any more than I have to so that I can kill them. They're just numbers. I kill them on ACCIDENT, all of their hopes and dreams, just with a flick of the wrist. They're dead, because of me.
"And I don't care. I can't. I won't. I ENJOY it, Wu-dude, I love the heat of battle and even the killing, in my dream. And that scares me more than anything else in the world.
"I don't want to dump on you, man, I was really trying to keep it to myself" He jumped up, and now the twinkle in his eyes was back. He smiled slyly. "But now you have to tell me too!"
"What are you-oh. Shit." I did say that, didn't I?
Duo nodded, and now the grin was back too. He bowed ironically, and bounded to the door. "Come on up whenever, 'Feibut make it soon, or else I'll come back down and tickle it out of ya." He laughed. "Don't think I won't!"
Duo left Wufei to sort through his thoughts, and try to reconcile what Duo had just told him with almost everything else he had ever said.
*
Maybe an hour later, Duo looked up from his book, and went to answer his door.
"Howdy stranger." He pulled the door the rest of the way open, and dragged Wufei bodily to the bed, where he pressed him down and then sat opposite him.
"So! Ready to spill?"
Wufei glared at him, but found that he couldn't seem to put any real force behind it, so just sighed instead. "Because I did indeed say that if you told me what was keeping you up that I would respond in kind. And" He gritted his teeth a little "I thank you for trusting me enough to speak about your dreams. I'm sorry that you are so afflicted."
Duo's eyes widened appreciably. Thanks AND conciliation? "Who are you and what have you done with Wufei!?" Looking at the stricken expression on the other's face, he chuckled and tackled him into a hug.
"Thanks, Wu-man. Now tell me your story, and maybe I'll earn MYSELF a tackle-hug!"
"That seems unlikely, wang be dan, now OFF!"
Once normality was restored, Wufei sighed deeply and Duo wiped the humor from his face. "Her namewas Meiran
"No, wait, I should start-ma de dan, I should have planned this better. I'm the last member of my family. I was married. Her name was Meiran, and Treize killed her with all of the rest. When I dream, it is of her. The dreams are fine, very happy and nostalgicbut everything they show is gone now. Her. The clan. The colony. My chances for revenge."
Wufei's voice and face were changing, right in front of Duo, into something totally other than what he was used to. I knew there was a softer side to Wu-manbut it's still incredible to see it!
"I miss those things, even though I know I shouldn't, and that they did what they should have. When I didn't. I lost to him, Duo, and he let me go. It's as though he didn't even have to beat me. Because he already had."
Wufei found himself face-up again, and didn't struggle nearly as much in Duo's arms as last time. "You haven't lost, Wufei. You're the strongest person I know, stronger than Treize. I'm honored that you would share this with me, especially since I'm sure you haven't with anyone else.
"I'm honoredto be your friend, Wufei."
The Chinese boy's wriggling ceased entirely, as he digested these words. HeIS my friend, isn't he? The only friend I have. ALL I have left, really, besides my Gundam and my memories.
He tried hard to make it sound reluctant, but Duo still shivered with delight when he heard the words. "And I'm honored to be yours. Duo."
*
Wufei was halfway out of the door to head to his own bed, a 'good night Duo' on his lips, when the other boy grabbed at his shoulder.
"I stopped dreaming about Death, Wu-man. Just recently. All I can dream about is you." Wufei's eyes widened, but all of the blood his brain needed for a well-thought-out response was routed to a different part of his body as Duo mashed their lips together.
Wufei wrapped his arms around the braided boy, and they spun and staggered around the room briefly before Wufei managed to gently lay him out on the bed, settling in on top.
The kiss never stopped.
Duo's hands reached out to grasp the seat of Wufei's pants, and pressed it against him. Tightly. They both moaned softly, then Duo captured an earlobe in his mouth, playing teeth and tongue over it, licking and nipping until Wufei cried out and pulled away to ravish at the American's neck.
Soon the vast majority of their clothing was missing, and Duo jerked upwards to press his chest against Wufei's, relishing the strength and warmth while he pressed his tongue into the other boy's mouth. Wufei was not about to let that go, and retaliated by taking Duo into his hand and squeezing ever-so-gently. Just to let him know who was in charge.
Duo melted in the Chinese boy's mouth, and placed one hand on top of Wufei's, as the other one descended to Wufei's own erection.
Followed quickly by his mouth, wet heat surrounding him, taking him in, and Wufei nearly screamed it was so good-
Wufei woke up when Duo tried to move him over so he could get some sleep.
It was unlikely that Wufei had ever opened his eyes wider. "MA DE DAN!"
Duo nearly jumped out of his skin. "Sorry! Damn, sorry Wu-man, I figured I'd let you crash here, but you were taking up all of the damn covers" He grinned weakly.
Looking up at Duo's surprise, he shook his head slightly and bowed a little. "Oh, sorry. I must have drifted off. I won't steal my friend's bed."
"What were you dreaming about, anyway? Sounded nice"
"Nothing."
Truth be told, I'd love to take you up on that offer, but now that I've won your friendship it would be wrong to so impose on it. "Good night, Duo."
"'Alright then'night, 'Feioh, and here. CD for ya." Duo blushed a little. "Umm, it's mostly crap, but track 5well, just listen to it. If you get a chance I mean." He ushered Wufei out into the hall, where he began a quick jog to his room.
Nothing could pique his curiosity like a blushing Duo Maxwell.
*
Puddle of Mudd, Come Clean, Track 5; Blurry.
Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well ya shoved it my face
Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
(Right, three things, first off sorry for the Puddle of Mudd. I know, I know. Don't send me hate mail, it just seemed appropriate. Second, I need opinions on whether or not this should become an arc, with maybe just a little 1x2x5 action thrown innot that this part is done yet! Hell no! And finally, I bestow my internal organs on a silver plate to Dil, he who beta reads for the gods, may his enemies catch nasty venereal diseases from their frequent and unhealthy masturbation and his glory be everlasting. Farewell! Love ya' Koishii!)