Which is it?
Author: Moggie
Pairing: G/? S/?
Category: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: [GSR] You choose or I'm gone.
Spoilers: BoP
Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
* What happened? *
He stood in the departure lounge at McCarren International Airport at 4 in the morning. His eyes were trained on the planes coming and going. The sounds were unheard and his stomach was in knots. The first was because his hearing had faded out once again and second, he just did something he never thought he'd do.
* Yesterday *
"6 months, a year maybe." She told him softly. She could see the disbelief in his eyes and the smile that mocked her.
"This is the second best lab in the country."
She nodded and looked down. "I just to get away. I need. a new working environment, somewhere where they respect me."
"Everyone here respects you Sara."
"You don't." She shot back casually, watching his eyes cloud over with sudden understanding. "Listen, if you don't approve my leave, I'll just quit."
* Lab locker room *
"You can't just leave Sara." He argued as he closed his locker.
"I can Grissom." She turned from her locker and sent him a levelled gaze. "I can't work here anymore."
His hands tightened around his books. "You can't work with me anymore?" He asked.
She looked away and pulled her coat from her locker before closing it. "Everyone will be better off if I leave now. I've outstayed my welcome long enough."
"What do you mean by that?"
Sighing heavily, she turned to him. "I've only been here a few months and I'm still trying to not step on toes, but that doesn't work when Catherine's angry with me all the time and Warrick won't even work with me."
"Why, what's wrong?"
Seeing that he truly didn't understand, she shook her head in exasperation, but didn't say a thing. She walked straight past him and into the corridor.
* Home *
"You want more proof to why I'm leaving Griss or are you actually going to let me leave?" She asked into her phone as she rolled over in her bed.
"I'm not going to pretend that I know why you're leaving Sara, because I don't." He confessed, although it sounded false to both their ears.
She groaned and threw her head back into her pillow. "You don't get it do you?"
"No, I don't. All I know is that I find this leave of absence on my desk and you telling me you want to leave. Then you tell me that no one at the lab wants you there and you're going to leave without even thinking about the consequences."
She actually grinned. "Did I hear some emotion in that ramble Grissom?" She teased.
He sighed and growled into the phone, not caring if she thought it was funny or not. "Think about the consequences Sara!"
The grin faded slowly at he pensive tone and replied with equal emotion. "Don't make me out to be the bad guy Grissom. I won't let you do that. I'm trying to make things right for everyone. I wasn't supposed to stay long and now it seems that I should a left when I finished my investigation. I'm not going to stick around for more rookie treatment, you hear me!"
The crackling of the static broke the silence over the receiver between the lines. Hearing him breath in deeply, she suddenly felt guilty for having a go at him. Just before she could apologise, he surprised her with his calm, but repeated question. "Think about the consequences Sara."
"I have." She sighed. "I wouldn't be getting in the way. I won't be following you around and making you angry anymore. I wouldn't be in the way. I won't have to struggle to keep my cool around Catherine and Warrick and they won't have me battling them over a case when all they want is to work with anyone but me." She took a shaky breath, feeling the tears well in her eyes. "You see, I've already thought about the consequences Grissom. Give it a few days and everything will be back the way it was, before I even existed in your lives. Just forget and get back to normal."
He could hear the pain in her voice, but she was wrong, on all accounts. "Don't leave." He pleaded gently.
"You don't want me here anymore than the others. I hold you back. If I can see that, everyone else can. You'll be better off without me. Don't waste time on me anymore Grissom and get ready for work, you're already late." She hung up without letting him say anything, but anything he said wouldn't have been what she wanted to hear.
* CSI *
He sat in his office all night while the others went on the only case and did their jobs without one question about Sara's whereabouts. She was right, they wouldn't notice and would forget in a few days. Just before his next thought clouded his mind, Nick stuck his head into his office with a huge smile.
"Hey boss, you didn't say where Sara was."
He stared at the young CSI with surprise in his eyes. Sara had been wrong and she was even more wrong when she thought Nick wouldn't remember her.
* Home *
Sara sat down on her couch and sighed as she leaned her head back. She raised her eyebrows at her cell as it started ringing out its merry tune. She picked it up and groaned into the receiver. "You ever just thought that I might not want to talk to you Grissom?"
"Not really, but I rang to tell you that you were wrong on all accounts, especially since you never mentioned Nick in your equation earlier."
"Nick doesn't count." She breathed.
"Of course he counts Sara. He just came in here and asked about you. I think that's one at least, not to mention that Greg ask about you twice and I haven't even seen David yet, but I've been told that he was asking about you."
"Really, how sweet." She gushed falsely. "Can I go now?" She asked after some silence.
"No."
She waited, but didn't get anything. "Well?"
"Come into work."
"No."
"Sara." He said sternly.
"I can't Grissom." She sighed.
"Why not. It's not like you're leaving tonight." He chuckled, but when he didn't hear anything, he suddenly felt helpless. "You're not, are you?"
She didn't answer him and looked around her room. Standing, she pulled on her coat. "I'll ring you sometime Grissom."
"Sara." He groaned. "Don't play games."
"You honestly think I'm playing? This is my life, I'm not playing and I have a flight to catch. Take care Griss." She flipped her cell shut and grabbed her bag and keys in one motion as she headed for the door.
* Airport *
"Ticket please." The middle aged man smiled as he took her ticket. "Have a nice flight ma'am"
"Thank you." She started to walk away when she felt someone behind her.
"You really think I'd let you go?" He asked suddenly.
She turned and nodded. "I'm afraid so."
"Then you don't know me very well." He sighed and approached her. "You mentioned everyone at the lab that you felt you were competing with, but what do you have to compete with when I'm involved?"
She looked at him. "Don't ask the question if you want an honest answer."
"I wouldn't have asked otherwise Sara."
"I wouldn't have clarified it to you if it wasn't Grissom." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "If I go, you won't be looking over your shoulder all the time. You won't be hearing about the stupid thing I did at an interrogation and you won't have me crowding you when you work a case with me." She turned away from him. "And you'll never be wishing you never called me out here."
"I never wished anything of the sort." He replied defensively.
"No?" She asked, looking back at him. He shook his head at her and followed her towards the departure lounge. "Well, you should." She added as she sat down and checked her watch.
He sat beside her and stared ahead for a few minutes. "I've never noticed you felt this way about us." He confessed.
"Warrick would never do anything in the lab and Catherine would wait until we were alone before biting my head off. I may seem to get along with them, but all I do is take it because I'd only get treated worse for 'acting irrationally'"
"That's not what I meant." He turned to her slowly. "I meant 'us'"
She stared at him before blinking and looking away.
"You think I don't know what this is 'really' about?" He asked.
"You said you didn't." She sighed.
"Now I say that I know." He confessed, leaning forward. "Would you really leave me alone?"
She kept her eyes down as she sat back. "I'm not leaving you alone. I was never leaving you, I was leaving Vegas."
"Splitting hairs Sara."
"Ok." She reasoned with herself that this would end in many ways and most of those would end in disaster. "You choose or I'm gone."
He smiled. "Choose what?"
She finally looked at him and sighed. "You choose what you want me to do. If you don't choose, I'm gone."
His smile faltered. She's just made her leaving his choice. "You can't be serious?"
"I'm very serious. I don't care anymore. It's your choice whether I stay in Vegas and try to put things right with the guys or I go and get on with my life without looking back."
"You want me to decide your future for you?" He asked weakly.
"Yes." She answered in the definite.
He looked into her eyes and knew she was serious, but how could she ask such a question? "Why are you leaving this to me?"
"Because you seem the only one that cares that I'm going. You haven't left me alone in a day and won't let me leave without beating around the bush. You're the one that's put the boot on, not me Grissom. You placed yourself in this position, now you get yourself and me out of it."
He knew exactly what she'd just done and he didn't like it. She wanted him to tell her to leave and make it final, but he knew her ploy and wasn't going to fall for it. "I won't choose."
She stood at the sound of her flight being called. "I'll be seeing you."
"What?" He blanched and quickly got to his feet. "What are you doing? You left it to me."
She nodded. "I did and you chose not to choose."
"Yeah and that meant you can't go."
"Really?" She laughed. "Didn't sound like it to me."
He groaned and reached out to grab her hand. He turned her to face him. "Please, don't go Sara."
"Why?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Because I don't want you to."
"And again, why?" She asked.
He licked his lips nervously. "The." He stopped and smiled. "I need you here with me. I want you here with me and I'd do anything to get you to stay."
"With you?"
He nodded and released her hand. "If you stay, I'll sort something out. I promise." His hand was grazing her cheek as he spoke. "I. Just don't go, stay here and give it a try."
"You'd try, for me?" She asked, full of hope.
"I'd try for you." He reiterated and leaned forward to kiss her. "Will you stay?"
She smiled and looked away to see everyone filing towards the departure doors. "Yeah. I'll stay." She looked back at him, but didn't see any change in his eyes, like he hadn't heard her.
"What did you say?" He asked, unsure if his voice was normal.
She frowned. "Are you ok?"
He shook his head and looked down. "No. Not really, but." He looked up and watched her carefully. "If you stay, then we have a lot to talk about and this." He pointed to his left ear. "Is the first point of discussion."
She looked at him with confusion, but nodded. "I'm staying." She squeezed his hand.
* What happened next? *
He stood in the departure lounge at McCarren International Airport at 4 in the morning. His eyes were trained on the planes coming and going. The sounds were unheard and his stomach was in knots. The first was because his hearing had faded out once again and second, he just did something he never thought he'd do.
Feeling her hand slip into his, he turned to her and took her bag that she had gone to find. "Ready?" He asked, watching her lips.
"As I'll ever be."
He smiled and led the way towards the exit. "First thing's first, we go some place and talk."
THE END
[What a twist, huh? I wonder what you're thinking. Why don't you tell me in a nice review?]
Author: Moggie
Pairing: G/? S/?
Category: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: [GSR] You choose or I'm gone.
Spoilers: BoP
Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
* What happened? *
He stood in the departure lounge at McCarren International Airport at 4 in the morning. His eyes were trained on the planes coming and going. The sounds were unheard and his stomach was in knots. The first was because his hearing had faded out once again and second, he just did something he never thought he'd do.
* Yesterday *
"6 months, a year maybe." She told him softly. She could see the disbelief in his eyes and the smile that mocked her.
"This is the second best lab in the country."
She nodded and looked down. "I just to get away. I need. a new working environment, somewhere where they respect me."
"Everyone here respects you Sara."
"You don't." She shot back casually, watching his eyes cloud over with sudden understanding. "Listen, if you don't approve my leave, I'll just quit."
* Lab locker room *
"You can't just leave Sara." He argued as he closed his locker.
"I can Grissom." She turned from her locker and sent him a levelled gaze. "I can't work here anymore."
His hands tightened around his books. "You can't work with me anymore?" He asked.
She looked away and pulled her coat from her locker before closing it. "Everyone will be better off if I leave now. I've outstayed my welcome long enough."
"What do you mean by that?"
Sighing heavily, she turned to him. "I've only been here a few months and I'm still trying to not step on toes, but that doesn't work when Catherine's angry with me all the time and Warrick won't even work with me."
"Why, what's wrong?"
Seeing that he truly didn't understand, she shook her head in exasperation, but didn't say a thing. She walked straight past him and into the corridor.
* Home *
"You want more proof to why I'm leaving Griss or are you actually going to let me leave?" She asked into her phone as she rolled over in her bed.
"I'm not going to pretend that I know why you're leaving Sara, because I don't." He confessed, although it sounded false to both their ears.
She groaned and threw her head back into her pillow. "You don't get it do you?"
"No, I don't. All I know is that I find this leave of absence on my desk and you telling me you want to leave. Then you tell me that no one at the lab wants you there and you're going to leave without even thinking about the consequences."
She actually grinned. "Did I hear some emotion in that ramble Grissom?" She teased.
He sighed and growled into the phone, not caring if she thought it was funny or not. "Think about the consequences Sara!"
The grin faded slowly at he pensive tone and replied with equal emotion. "Don't make me out to be the bad guy Grissom. I won't let you do that. I'm trying to make things right for everyone. I wasn't supposed to stay long and now it seems that I should a left when I finished my investigation. I'm not going to stick around for more rookie treatment, you hear me!"
The crackling of the static broke the silence over the receiver between the lines. Hearing him breath in deeply, she suddenly felt guilty for having a go at him. Just before she could apologise, he surprised her with his calm, but repeated question. "Think about the consequences Sara."
"I have." She sighed. "I wouldn't be getting in the way. I won't be following you around and making you angry anymore. I wouldn't be in the way. I won't have to struggle to keep my cool around Catherine and Warrick and they won't have me battling them over a case when all they want is to work with anyone but me." She took a shaky breath, feeling the tears well in her eyes. "You see, I've already thought about the consequences Grissom. Give it a few days and everything will be back the way it was, before I even existed in your lives. Just forget and get back to normal."
He could hear the pain in her voice, but she was wrong, on all accounts. "Don't leave." He pleaded gently.
"You don't want me here anymore than the others. I hold you back. If I can see that, everyone else can. You'll be better off without me. Don't waste time on me anymore Grissom and get ready for work, you're already late." She hung up without letting him say anything, but anything he said wouldn't have been what she wanted to hear.
* CSI *
He sat in his office all night while the others went on the only case and did their jobs without one question about Sara's whereabouts. She was right, they wouldn't notice and would forget in a few days. Just before his next thought clouded his mind, Nick stuck his head into his office with a huge smile.
"Hey boss, you didn't say where Sara was."
He stared at the young CSI with surprise in his eyes. Sara had been wrong and she was even more wrong when she thought Nick wouldn't remember her.
* Home *
Sara sat down on her couch and sighed as she leaned her head back. She raised her eyebrows at her cell as it started ringing out its merry tune. She picked it up and groaned into the receiver. "You ever just thought that I might not want to talk to you Grissom?"
"Not really, but I rang to tell you that you were wrong on all accounts, especially since you never mentioned Nick in your equation earlier."
"Nick doesn't count." She breathed.
"Of course he counts Sara. He just came in here and asked about you. I think that's one at least, not to mention that Greg ask about you twice and I haven't even seen David yet, but I've been told that he was asking about you."
"Really, how sweet." She gushed falsely. "Can I go now?" She asked after some silence.
"No."
She waited, but didn't get anything. "Well?"
"Come into work."
"No."
"Sara." He said sternly.
"I can't Grissom." She sighed.
"Why not. It's not like you're leaving tonight." He chuckled, but when he didn't hear anything, he suddenly felt helpless. "You're not, are you?"
She didn't answer him and looked around her room. Standing, she pulled on her coat. "I'll ring you sometime Grissom."
"Sara." He groaned. "Don't play games."
"You honestly think I'm playing? This is my life, I'm not playing and I have a flight to catch. Take care Griss." She flipped her cell shut and grabbed her bag and keys in one motion as she headed for the door.
* Airport *
"Ticket please." The middle aged man smiled as he took her ticket. "Have a nice flight ma'am"
"Thank you." She started to walk away when she felt someone behind her.
"You really think I'd let you go?" He asked suddenly.
She turned and nodded. "I'm afraid so."
"Then you don't know me very well." He sighed and approached her. "You mentioned everyone at the lab that you felt you were competing with, but what do you have to compete with when I'm involved?"
She looked at him. "Don't ask the question if you want an honest answer."
"I wouldn't have asked otherwise Sara."
"I wouldn't have clarified it to you if it wasn't Grissom." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "If I go, you won't be looking over your shoulder all the time. You won't be hearing about the stupid thing I did at an interrogation and you won't have me crowding you when you work a case with me." She turned away from him. "And you'll never be wishing you never called me out here."
"I never wished anything of the sort." He replied defensively.
"No?" She asked, looking back at him. He shook his head at her and followed her towards the departure lounge. "Well, you should." She added as she sat down and checked her watch.
He sat beside her and stared ahead for a few minutes. "I've never noticed you felt this way about us." He confessed.
"Warrick would never do anything in the lab and Catherine would wait until we were alone before biting my head off. I may seem to get along with them, but all I do is take it because I'd only get treated worse for 'acting irrationally'"
"That's not what I meant." He turned to her slowly. "I meant 'us'"
She stared at him before blinking and looking away.
"You think I don't know what this is 'really' about?" He asked.
"You said you didn't." She sighed.
"Now I say that I know." He confessed, leaning forward. "Would you really leave me alone?"
She kept her eyes down as she sat back. "I'm not leaving you alone. I was never leaving you, I was leaving Vegas."
"Splitting hairs Sara."
"Ok." She reasoned with herself that this would end in many ways and most of those would end in disaster. "You choose or I'm gone."
He smiled. "Choose what?"
She finally looked at him and sighed. "You choose what you want me to do. If you don't choose, I'm gone."
His smile faltered. She's just made her leaving his choice. "You can't be serious?"
"I'm very serious. I don't care anymore. It's your choice whether I stay in Vegas and try to put things right with the guys or I go and get on with my life without looking back."
"You want me to decide your future for you?" He asked weakly.
"Yes." She answered in the definite.
He looked into her eyes and knew she was serious, but how could she ask such a question? "Why are you leaving this to me?"
"Because you seem the only one that cares that I'm going. You haven't left me alone in a day and won't let me leave without beating around the bush. You're the one that's put the boot on, not me Grissom. You placed yourself in this position, now you get yourself and me out of it."
He knew exactly what she'd just done and he didn't like it. She wanted him to tell her to leave and make it final, but he knew her ploy and wasn't going to fall for it. "I won't choose."
She stood at the sound of her flight being called. "I'll be seeing you."
"What?" He blanched and quickly got to his feet. "What are you doing? You left it to me."
She nodded. "I did and you chose not to choose."
"Yeah and that meant you can't go."
"Really?" She laughed. "Didn't sound like it to me."
He groaned and reached out to grab her hand. He turned her to face him. "Please, don't go Sara."
"Why?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Because I don't want you to."
"And again, why?" She asked.
He licked his lips nervously. "The." He stopped and smiled. "I need you here with me. I want you here with me and I'd do anything to get you to stay."
"With you?"
He nodded and released her hand. "If you stay, I'll sort something out. I promise." His hand was grazing her cheek as he spoke. "I. Just don't go, stay here and give it a try."
"You'd try, for me?" She asked, full of hope.
"I'd try for you." He reiterated and leaned forward to kiss her. "Will you stay?"
She smiled and looked away to see everyone filing towards the departure doors. "Yeah. I'll stay." She looked back at him, but didn't see any change in his eyes, like he hadn't heard her.
"What did you say?" He asked, unsure if his voice was normal.
She frowned. "Are you ok?"
He shook his head and looked down. "No. Not really, but." He looked up and watched her carefully. "If you stay, then we have a lot to talk about and this." He pointed to his left ear. "Is the first point of discussion."
She looked at him with confusion, but nodded. "I'm staying." She squeezed his hand.
* What happened next? *
He stood in the departure lounge at McCarren International Airport at 4 in the morning. His eyes were trained on the planes coming and going. The sounds were unheard and his stomach was in knots. The first was because his hearing had faded out once again and second, he just did something he never thought he'd do.
Feeling her hand slip into his, he turned to her and took her bag that she had gone to find. "Ready?" He asked, watching her lips.
"As I'll ever be."
He smiled and led the way towards the exit. "First thing's first, we go some place and talk."
THE END
[What a twist, huh? I wonder what you're thinking. Why don't you tell me in a nice review?]