"Look!" Toast yelled.
"What?!" they all asked a bit worried about the burn-down.
"I don't know why I said that but I felt like it. I have a headache. So quiet down." Toast said.
"Here," Kiwi said walking over to her, "Cover your ears and scream as loud as you can."
"Will it work?"
"That's what I heard."
The hobbits all covered their ears as Toast did so, and Toast let out a loud scream.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Did it work?" Kiwi asked.
"Did what work?" Toast asked back.
"The screaming thing."
"Ohh, that scream was because I saw a bug. A big scary bug." Toast shivered.
"Is your headache gone though?" Pippin asked her, taking his hands off of his ears.
"I don't know." She paused for a second. "No. I need Tylenol and coke."
The hobbits all looked at each other puzzled, not knowing what either of them were.
"Lets go find one of those Gandalf things. Maybe he can do a spell on me and make me a duck."
"Why a duck?" Kiwi asked Toast.
"Because ducks don't have headaches."
"How do you know?" Kiwi shot at Toast.
"Because I've never been a duck, and if its something I haven't been before, it doesn't have headaches because headaches are what I get and they are for people, and ducks aren't people. Besides headaches are for heads and ducks don't have heads. They have quacks."
"Ahh. Makes sense now." Kiwi said.
They walked around and bumped into Elrond.
"'Ello Luv!" Toast said looking at him. "Do you know where wizard the Gandalf is? Lord Smith, or do you prefer Agent Elrond?"
"He will be at the secret council meeting, and I do not prefer either of them."
"Okay. Then Elrith it is."
"No, its Elrond. Lord Elrond."
"No its not, James Bond! Its Agent Smithrond."
"Who is James Bond? And its Agent Smith- I- I mean Lord Elrond!"
"Oki doki Agent Smithrond."
"Elrond! Its Elrond!!"
"Bye bye Lord Elrond Smithypants!" Toast said waving to him as they left to go to the secret council meeting.
"Wonder if there's any pens there." Kiwi asked.
"PENS! Once I chewed a pen, and its ink got all over the place. In my mouth, on my bed. Everywhere!" said Toast.
"Eww!" exclaimed Kiwi.
"Whats a pen?" Pippin asked.
"Its like a quill." Both Kiwi and Toast said at once.
"Eww." all the hobbits' face expressions read.
"Im going to go wait and talk to uncle Bilbo." Frodo said as he turned around to leave.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Toast said.
"And why not?" Frodo asked.
"Because Bilbo is gunna go all Kung-Foo-I-Want-My-Ring, on your little hobbit ass." Toast said with an expression similar to Bilbo's in the movie.
"Right." Frodo said, as he didn't believe her and left to go find his uncle Bilbo.
Kiwi and Toast took seats next to each other with Merry and Pippin on their laps as they waited for the rest of the council to come. Soon enough they all arrived and had taken their seats.
"How did you get into the secret council already?"
"We know our way around." Toast said hugging Pippin, who was still sitting on her lap.
"Please don't make it long and boring!" Kiwi yelled at Lord Elrond.
He just ignored her. "Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You've been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction."
"Ohh my!!" Toast yelled out.
"None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each is bound to this fate, this one doom." He continued saying.
"Did you know that fate used to be called Fatum by the Greeks?" Toast asked to anyone listening, which was only Pippin.
"What is a Greeks?" he asked
"Ohh its just these people that are like totally cool, and all. I heard that in a movie, the whole fatum thing." Toast said smiling.
"Now if you may be quiet!" Lord Elrond continued talking, "Bring forth the ring Frodo."
Frodo did so and placed it on the table.
"Don't get any ideas Boromir!!!" Toast yelled out at him.
He just ignored her. "So it is true."
"Doom of man." Elrond said.
"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this ring? Long has my father, the steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!" Boromir said back.
"I told you NOT to get any ideas!!" Toast exclaimed, "But NO! You had to be stubborn and not listen to what Lord Smithrond has said! Your just like Tinkerbell!"
"And who may I ask is Tinkerbell?" Boromir asked her.
"Well HU-LLO! Don't you know the stories of Peter Pan?" Toast stood up after placing Pippin off of her. "This girl named Wendy had 2 brothers, John and Michael."
"Is this getting some where?" Legolas asked.
Toast just ignored him. "Then this dude, Peter Pan, came into her room because he lost his shadow." At that point Kiwi grabbed Toast, covering her mouth, placing her down on the chair, sitting Pippin back on her lap.
They all applauded at Kiwi shutting her up.
"Let Aragorn Speak Toast!!" Kiwi exclaimed.
"How did you know I was going to speak?" Aragorn asked.
"I just knew." Kiwi said smiling.
"Alright. Now. You can not wield it! None of us can. The one ring answers to Sauron alone. IT has no other master."
"And what would a ranger know of this matter?" Boromir snapped at him.
Legolas stood up, "This is no mere ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."
"Aragorn. This is Isuildur's heir?" Boromir said, not looking surprised.
"And heir to the throne of Gondor." Legolas said.
Aragorn began speaking in Elvish, "Havo-"
Legolas was pulled back onto his seat by Kiwi, and she covered his mouth.
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king." Boromir said to Aragorn.
"HU-LLO!" Toast pointed to Aragorn, "He IS the frickin King of Gondor you nunce!"
They all looked a bit puzzled at the word she had used, then continued talking about the ring.
"Aragorn is right, we can not use it. You have no choice the ring must be destroyed." Lord Elrond said, coming back into the conversation.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Gimli said as he got up and took out his ax and smacked the ring, springing the short fat dude on the floor, the ax breaking.
Toast and Kiwi began to giggle.
"The ring cannot be destroyed Gimli, son of Gloin by any craft that we here possess. The ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must take it." Lord Elrond said.
"Ain't Me!" Toast exclaimed.
"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep." Boromir began.
"Does that mean that they are insomniacs like I am? Hey maybe they are related to me, because im evil, and I rarely ever sleep." Toast said. They just ignored her.
"The great eye is ever-watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire, and ask, and dust." Boromir continued.
"Hey wasn't there a song like that. One we had to sing in elementary school? Like I think it went something like, 'Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.' But I forgot the rest." Toast said babbling, not really paying attention to what Boromir had to say.
"The very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with 10,000 men could you do this. It is folly." Boromir said, finishing up.
"Have you heard Nothing Lord Elrond has said?" Legolas said breaking away from Kiwi's grasp, pushing her too the floor. "The ring must be destroyed."
"What is this, my millionth time on the floor?! Ohh! Its colorful!" Kiwi said giggling.
"And I suppose you think you are the one to do it!" Gimli barked at Legolas standing upright once again.
"And if we fail, what then? What if Sauron takes back what is his?" Boromir said.
"Hes a pessimist I tell you. Fully through, he doesn't think anything of anything, except for bad stuff. Hes surly a pessimist." Toast said to no one in particular.
"I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf! Never trust an-" Gimli started saying but was tackled to the floor by Toast, who was now angry because she herself was an elf. He let out a faint "Oof!"
Gandalf's voice rang around the tops of the many voices that were now fighting, "Do you not understand? While you bicker amongst yourselves, Sauron's power grows! None can escape it! You'll all be destroyed!!"
They didn't listen. Toast was punching Gimli, Pippin and Merry were trying to pry her off of him, and Kiwi was around feeling the floor and its warmth.
"I will take it!" Frodo cried out, yet no one was listening.
"I will take it!" He exclaimed again. There was an awkward silence. They all stopped fighting to see the hobbit, now on his feet. Toast was on her back on the floor, with the two hobbits that pried her off of Gimli, looking at her. Kiwi was spying on Legolas.
"I will take the ring to Mordor. Though, I do not know the way." Frodo continued to say.
Gandalf looked at him with a small smile of happiness. "I will help you bear this burden Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear."
Aragorn walked over to Frodo. "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword."
Legolas came over as well, "And you have my bow."
"And my stupidity." Toast said looking at the sky.
"And as long as there is a floor on the way, I will go. So practically you have my legs." She looked at Legolas. "Aint that right Leggy?" she nudged him with her elbow.
Gimli then walked over. "And My Ax."
Parlet came over and flashed his sharp teeth. "And my teeth."
Boromir was next to walk over. "You carry the fates of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."
Sam jumped out of the bushes, "Frodo's not going anywhere without me!"
Elrond looked at them. "It is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret meeting and you are not."
Toast and Kiwi looked at Elrond. "Neither were we."
Elrond ignored him with the voice of Merry running towards them, followed by Pippin. "We're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us."
"Don't tempt Lord Elrond Merry!" Kiwi said.
Pippin looked up at them all. "Besides you need intelligence in this sort of mission. Quest. Thing."
"Well that rules you out Pip." Merry said, but then getting elbowed by Toast.
"12 companions." Lord Elrond said, "So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the ring."
"Yay im part of the fellowship!" Toast said as she started to dance.
"Great! Where are we going?" Pippin asked.
Toast gave him a noogie. "Mordor you little kyootie."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey guys! I got a new hamster! His name is Spunky Aragorn Toodles. Weird, I know. He wont replace the spot I have for Sabbath, but still just to let you know I got a new Ham ham.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What?!" they all asked a bit worried about the burn-down.
"I don't know why I said that but I felt like it. I have a headache. So quiet down." Toast said.
"Here," Kiwi said walking over to her, "Cover your ears and scream as loud as you can."
"Will it work?"
"That's what I heard."
The hobbits all covered their ears as Toast did so, and Toast let out a loud scream.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Did it work?" Kiwi asked.
"Did what work?" Toast asked back.
"The screaming thing."
"Ohh, that scream was because I saw a bug. A big scary bug." Toast shivered.
"Is your headache gone though?" Pippin asked her, taking his hands off of his ears.
"I don't know." She paused for a second. "No. I need Tylenol and coke."
The hobbits all looked at each other puzzled, not knowing what either of them were.
"Lets go find one of those Gandalf things. Maybe he can do a spell on me and make me a duck."
"Why a duck?" Kiwi asked Toast.
"Because ducks don't have headaches."
"How do you know?" Kiwi shot at Toast.
"Because I've never been a duck, and if its something I haven't been before, it doesn't have headaches because headaches are what I get and they are for people, and ducks aren't people. Besides headaches are for heads and ducks don't have heads. They have quacks."
"Ahh. Makes sense now." Kiwi said.
They walked around and bumped into Elrond.
"'Ello Luv!" Toast said looking at him. "Do you know where wizard the Gandalf is? Lord Smith, or do you prefer Agent Elrond?"
"He will be at the secret council meeting, and I do not prefer either of them."
"Okay. Then Elrith it is."
"No, its Elrond. Lord Elrond."
"No its not, James Bond! Its Agent Smithrond."
"Who is James Bond? And its Agent Smith- I- I mean Lord Elrond!"
"Oki doki Agent Smithrond."
"Elrond! Its Elrond!!"
"Bye bye Lord Elrond Smithypants!" Toast said waving to him as they left to go to the secret council meeting.
"Wonder if there's any pens there." Kiwi asked.
"PENS! Once I chewed a pen, and its ink got all over the place. In my mouth, on my bed. Everywhere!" said Toast.
"Eww!" exclaimed Kiwi.
"Whats a pen?" Pippin asked.
"Its like a quill." Both Kiwi and Toast said at once.
"Eww." all the hobbits' face expressions read.
"Im going to go wait and talk to uncle Bilbo." Frodo said as he turned around to leave.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Toast said.
"And why not?" Frodo asked.
"Because Bilbo is gunna go all Kung-Foo-I-Want-My-Ring, on your little hobbit ass." Toast said with an expression similar to Bilbo's in the movie.
"Right." Frodo said, as he didn't believe her and left to go find his uncle Bilbo.
Kiwi and Toast took seats next to each other with Merry and Pippin on their laps as they waited for the rest of the council to come. Soon enough they all arrived and had taken their seats.
"How did you get into the secret council already?"
"We know our way around." Toast said hugging Pippin, who was still sitting on her lap.
"Please don't make it long and boring!" Kiwi yelled at Lord Elrond.
He just ignored her. "Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You've been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction."
"Ohh my!!" Toast yelled out.
"None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each is bound to this fate, this one doom." He continued saying.
"Did you know that fate used to be called Fatum by the Greeks?" Toast asked to anyone listening, which was only Pippin.
"What is a Greeks?" he asked
"Ohh its just these people that are like totally cool, and all. I heard that in a movie, the whole fatum thing." Toast said smiling.
"Now if you may be quiet!" Lord Elrond continued talking, "Bring forth the ring Frodo."
Frodo did so and placed it on the table.
"Don't get any ideas Boromir!!!" Toast yelled out at him.
He just ignored her. "So it is true."
"Doom of man." Elrond said.
"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this ring? Long has my father, the steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!" Boromir said back.
"I told you NOT to get any ideas!!" Toast exclaimed, "But NO! You had to be stubborn and not listen to what Lord Smithrond has said! Your just like Tinkerbell!"
"And who may I ask is Tinkerbell?" Boromir asked her.
"Well HU-LLO! Don't you know the stories of Peter Pan?" Toast stood up after placing Pippin off of her. "This girl named Wendy had 2 brothers, John and Michael."
"Is this getting some where?" Legolas asked.
Toast just ignored him. "Then this dude, Peter Pan, came into her room because he lost his shadow." At that point Kiwi grabbed Toast, covering her mouth, placing her down on the chair, sitting Pippin back on her lap.
They all applauded at Kiwi shutting her up.
"Let Aragorn Speak Toast!!" Kiwi exclaimed.
"How did you know I was going to speak?" Aragorn asked.
"I just knew." Kiwi said smiling.
"Alright. Now. You can not wield it! None of us can. The one ring answers to Sauron alone. IT has no other master."
"And what would a ranger know of this matter?" Boromir snapped at him.
Legolas stood up, "This is no mere ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."
"Aragorn. This is Isuildur's heir?" Boromir said, not looking surprised.
"And heir to the throne of Gondor." Legolas said.
Aragorn began speaking in Elvish, "Havo-"
Legolas was pulled back onto his seat by Kiwi, and she covered his mouth.
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king." Boromir said to Aragorn.
"HU-LLO!" Toast pointed to Aragorn, "He IS the frickin King of Gondor you nunce!"
They all looked a bit puzzled at the word she had used, then continued talking about the ring.
"Aragorn is right, we can not use it. You have no choice the ring must be destroyed." Lord Elrond said, coming back into the conversation.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Gimli said as he got up and took out his ax and smacked the ring, springing the short fat dude on the floor, the ax breaking.
Toast and Kiwi began to giggle.
"The ring cannot be destroyed Gimli, son of Gloin by any craft that we here possess. The ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must take it." Lord Elrond said.
"Ain't Me!" Toast exclaimed.
"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep." Boromir began.
"Does that mean that they are insomniacs like I am? Hey maybe they are related to me, because im evil, and I rarely ever sleep." Toast said. They just ignored her.
"The great eye is ever-watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire, and ask, and dust." Boromir continued.
"Hey wasn't there a song like that. One we had to sing in elementary school? Like I think it went something like, 'Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.' But I forgot the rest." Toast said babbling, not really paying attention to what Boromir had to say.
"The very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with 10,000 men could you do this. It is folly." Boromir said, finishing up.
"Have you heard Nothing Lord Elrond has said?" Legolas said breaking away from Kiwi's grasp, pushing her too the floor. "The ring must be destroyed."
"What is this, my millionth time on the floor?! Ohh! Its colorful!" Kiwi said giggling.
"And I suppose you think you are the one to do it!" Gimli barked at Legolas standing upright once again.
"And if we fail, what then? What if Sauron takes back what is his?" Boromir said.
"Hes a pessimist I tell you. Fully through, he doesn't think anything of anything, except for bad stuff. Hes surly a pessimist." Toast said to no one in particular.
"I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf! Never trust an-" Gimli started saying but was tackled to the floor by Toast, who was now angry because she herself was an elf. He let out a faint "Oof!"
Gandalf's voice rang around the tops of the many voices that were now fighting, "Do you not understand? While you bicker amongst yourselves, Sauron's power grows! None can escape it! You'll all be destroyed!!"
They didn't listen. Toast was punching Gimli, Pippin and Merry were trying to pry her off of him, and Kiwi was around feeling the floor and its warmth.
"I will take it!" Frodo cried out, yet no one was listening.
"I will take it!" He exclaimed again. There was an awkward silence. They all stopped fighting to see the hobbit, now on his feet. Toast was on her back on the floor, with the two hobbits that pried her off of Gimli, looking at her. Kiwi was spying on Legolas.
"I will take the ring to Mordor. Though, I do not know the way." Frodo continued to say.
Gandalf looked at him with a small smile of happiness. "I will help you bear this burden Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear."
Aragorn walked over to Frodo. "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword."
Legolas came over as well, "And you have my bow."
"And my stupidity." Toast said looking at the sky.
"And as long as there is a floor on the way, I will go. So practically you have my legs." She looked at Legolas. "Aint that right Leggy?" she nudged him with her elbow.
Gimli then walked over. "And My Ax."
Parlet came over and flashed his sharp teeth. "And my teeth."
Boromir was next to walk over. "You carry the fates of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."
Sam jumped out of the bushes, "Frodo's not going anywhere without me!"
Elrond looked at them. "It is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret meeting and you are not."
Toast and Kiwi looked at Elrond. "Neither were we."
Elrond ignored him with the voice of Merry running towards them, followed by Pippin. "We're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us."
"Don't tempt Lord Elrond Merry!" Kiwi said.
Pippin looked up at them all. "Besides you need intelligence in this sort of mission. Quest. Thing."
"Well that rules you out Pip." Merry said, but then getting elbowed by Toast.
"12 companions." Lord Elrond said, "So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the ring."
"Yay im part of the fellowship!" Toast said as she started to dance.
"Great! Where are we going?" Pippin asked.
Toast gave him a noogie. "Mordor you little kyootie."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey guys! I got a new hamster! His name is Spunky Aragorn Toodles. Weird, I know. He wont replace the spot I have for Sabbath, but still just to let you know I got a new Ham ham.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~