Jewel: Wow, here's a new one! Rabid lawyers have trapped me in a large
stone box and I CAN'T BREATHE!!!
Rabid Lawyers: *Laugh evilly*
Jewel: OK, fine, you want me to die!? I just won't say the disclaimer!! HA!! FOO ON YOU ALL!!! AND GUESS WHAT?
Rabid Lawyers: What?
Jewel: I OWN YUGIOH!! I HAVE ALWAYS OWNED YUGIOH!!!
Rabid Lawyers: NOOOOOOOO! Fine! We'll let you out!!
Jewel: Oh, yeah, and if you think I own Yugioh, you need a pass to Calmwood mental hospital worse than I do.
Rabid Lawyers: And that's saying something.
Jewel: *Whacks Rabid Lawyers with a large pointy stick* Now! On with the ficcy!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, I just had one of the best nights of my life! Not only did I get to go out of a window onto a tree, but I got to chuck a few of those hideous garden fairy things at ex-Valentine boyfriends! How cool is that?
Alright, I'll back up, Last night, around 11:00, interrupting MY quiet time; the idiots called Bakura and Tristan broke into our house! We had to take a course of action, so I made like a *snort* monkey, cleared the windowsill STILL holding a garden fairy, and waited for my sisters to flush them out.
While on my tree branch, I heard screams from inside. If I hadn't known it was Tristan and Bakura, I would have thought it was two third grade girls that broke into our house!!
They flew out the front door, followed by two flying garden fairies, thrown by the Valentine sisters.
I leapt from my perch, and promptly chucked my fairy. Bulls-eye! We tied them up with a couple pieces of twine, and then forced them to cook for us. OMG, Bakura is a wimp, but he sure can make chili!!
We pooled our ideas for a puni-erm, a..oh what the heck, an awful revenge plan!! But, seeing as I had a date w/Yugi in the morning I headed off to bed and let the ex-girlfriends deal with their ex-bishies. I ALMOST started to feel sorry for them. ALMOST. Ok, I didn't feel any sympathy at all! So sue me!
I woke up early, grabbed an apple (red) and climbed out my window, and shimmied down the tree. What an awesome sneak out plan!
Me 'n' Yami went off to a conservatory, (don't ask me why, but we felt rather flowerish right then) and were sitting quietly when three of my classmates come up, toting large cameras, and large notebooks labeled "Science."
It's Jimena, Ankara, and Keola. They're kinda my friends, buy kinda not. You know what I mean. So I didn't expect them to say anything more than a 'hi' or something.
Ankara stops dead when she sees me, and practically screams, "YOU'RE ALIVE?!?!?!"
Not, "Hi," or "How are you?" but "You're alive?" I mean, come on!
"Um..yeah, when was I dead?" I was rather surprised, seeing as well, you know! I'm kinda standing here!
"Well, you and your sisters disappeared from school, and didn't come back, so, rumors started that you had all died in a fire or something!"
"But, we sent a letter to our grandmother to notify school that we were all competing in Battle City!"
"Well, apparently, your grandma didn't."
Uh-oh..If grandma didn't say anything, were we actually ALLOWED to compete? If not, grandma was gonna fry us!!
Yami noticed my rather nervous face, and introduced himself to the others, taking the spotlight off of me. Good thing, too. I love my bishies!
I tried to forget that fact about grandma while I was with Yami/Yugi, but I'm gonna have to tell my sisters. OMG will grams KILL us!! Yuck, I think Jewel's cookin' tonight. Maybe I'll tell them BEFORE we eat..
Crissy Valentine
PS: Never mind, I believe there IS some chili left! YAY!
PPS: Wish us luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, revenge is good..Those stupid idiotic ex-boyfriends! They broke into our fooing house trying to steal Fuzzy back..who we seriously need to re- name!
Hrm..how about Pepperjacks? Or Makokoa?...Pickle?..oh, how about Itallics? Wait, no that's a cat's name..OK, how about Tazeden? It means "again" in Turkmen! So if he barks, we can say "TAZEDEN!" and then he'll bark again! OK, well, I like it! We can call him Taze!
Oh, back to revenge! So, first we forced them to cook for us..spicy chili with real peppers, soul cream, cheese, crackers on the side! Oh, compared to what we have been eating, it was HEAVENLY!!
WHY are they better cooks than us? Grr..oh well. Hey, maybe we should make Mai cook! She NEVER cooks! But, she IS a Valentine sister, so we might not have had her cooking because otherwise we'd be.ya know..dead..
ANYWAY..We questioned the two idiots thoroughly (among chucking things at them..) Then I came up with a plan.
I had bout an invisible fence earlier (for Fuzzy) so I got these shock collars w/remote controls!
We put them on Bakura and Tristan, thus making them our slaves. They would be stuck in our house, and the collars could only be removed by the handy dandy keys in my pocket!
Hey, I'm not so bad at this revenge stuff. So, after we were done pretending that the button was stuck..we set them to work cooking and cleaning for us.
Oh, and I set wards so they couldn't get into our rooms.
Be fore I could leave to meet Malik, Crissy called. Jewel slipped off somewhere so I made Bakura pick up the phone.
"Hey?"
Crissy didn't even bother with introductions. "WE'RE DEAD!!"
"What?"
She was talking really fast now. "Grandma is gonna KILL us!"
"Wha - Oh shoot why?"
"Ya see, grandma never agreed to us coming and competing in the tournament so our school thinks we're dead. AND grandma never approved of us dating ANYONE. So..we're dead!"
I smacked the table in frustration and my hand INNOCENTLY hit the shock button.
The doorbell rang, and I left to go with Malik. I'll talk to him tonight about meting Grandma.
Yours in anguish,
Aundaine Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
Fun news, horrible news, fun news, REALLY horrible news.
K, so we trapped Tristan and Bakura, put dog collars on them (Wow..just how much fun could we possibly HAVE with the handy dandy little shock button?) and made them cook. I seriously wish they weren't so good at this! It makes me feel so..incapable of cooking and keeping people alive!
So..after having lots of fun with the pretty shock buttons, Seto picked me up for a date. I didn't even know where we were going, but on the way Seto said it might be SLIGHTLY illegal to imprison people in our house. So we'll just have to keep them hidden, I guess...
ANYWAYS.the limo stopped real fast, and the driver exclaimed that, "Some crazy person on a motorcycle" just drove in front of us and stopped!
WHY can't Daine drive next to the window like a normal person? Honestly! She'll get herself killed if she keeps this up! Speaking of which, that's what she screamed to me.
"Jay! WE'RE DEAD!!"
"Umm.OK.."
"No! Seriously! Grandma's coming and we just figured out that she didn't approve of us being here!"
"She WHAT???"
"Didn't approve, everyone at school thinks we're dead, and you KNOW she doesn't approve of us having boyfriends!"
I'm like THAT close to spilling profane language. But then my cell phone rings.
"Hello?" Please don't be grandma! Please oh please oh please!!
"I'm so glad I finally got a hold of you, Jewel dear!" Crap. It's grandma. "I just wanted you to know I'm coming to visit you in Domino City this weekend."
"W-wonderful."
"See you then, dear." *Click*
NOW I spill profane language.
"What?" Daine and Seto say it together.
"Our dear grandmother will be here this weekend."
Profane words from Daine.
"Are you sure it's this weekend?"
"Well, knowing grandma, it'll probably be sooner."
Sarcastically, Daine says, "WONDERFUL. Now we not only have to get rid of Bakura and Tristan, clean the house and prop our b/f's, we have to do it SOON??"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Wait a minute," Shoot! I completely forgot Seto was there. "Why do you have to tell her you have b/f's?"
"Because A, it's lying, and B, if she gets pissed at us she'll find you anyway and hate us more for it!!"
"Oh.OK then." I think I kinda thoroughly confused him. He's not used to someone like grandma. Namely, someone who can't hide from or lie to. "Well, anyway, I can loan you some people to help with housework."
"I love my boyfriend!! I love him I love him I love him I do!" I was so completely stressed I said exactly what I was thinking, then gave him a big hug.
Daine rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. "Thanks. Now, can you come back to our house so we can make your personality presentable enough for Grandmother? Or do you have some hotshot business meeting?"
"No, I can come."
So we rushed back, took out anxieties on Tristan and Bakura after collecting Yugi and Malik, and then tried to.coach our b/f's to Grandmother's liking. Help!
Jewel Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~
OMG!! After Seto hired a whole squad of house cleaners that absolutely made the Valentine house SPARKLE, we unwillingly de-collared Tristan and Bakura. (They almost cried. How PATHETIC.)
Malik threatened them rather heavily and then they RAN. Like, 2-minute mile ran. Wow, who knew such a big guy like Tristan could go so fast?
Then, came forth the real task at hand. Training Yugi, Malik, and Seto to be perfect boyfriend models.
The people Seto had hired set up a really nice formal table with a whole bunch of spoons. OMG. Spoons. 13 of them.
The Seto tried to be formal..and teach us at the same time. Thank goodness the table setters were better at it than him.
Then, polite after dinner conversation. Ummm..let's just say if all three bishies stay silent, we MIGHT make it through the evening. MIGHT.
Then, Seto begins a weatherman spiel about the weather. Like, KaibaCorpNews. I really doubt the whole topic would impress Grandma.
Malik tried to give an impression of the monkey chase. Five pillows hit his head at the same time.
Yugi tried to explain duel monsters but even I was nodding off when he rounded the 20th minute.
Did I mention we are gonna DIE?
Around 10:30, when we had completely given up and were watching TV, Mokuba came to pick up Kaiba. He assessed the rather pitiful situation. He then wrote down four topics per bishie. I peeked at Yugi's list:
1: Wonderful Weather.
2: Clean "Old Person" jokes.
3: The new art museum exhibit.
4: How wonderful Crissy is (Keep it CLEAN!).
WE ALL OWE YOU MUCHO MOKUBA!!!!!
Then, after a practice round (with Mokuba acting as Granny) the guys let around 1:30. (Mokuba got a kiss on the cheek from all of the extremely grateful Valentine sisters (much to his, um.. disgust?). Then, I gave Yugi/Yami a kiss goodbye. He kissed me once again, just for good luck, then walks right into Mai!
She was just coming home from a party at the Stage House, and was decked out in proper Mai Valentine fashion, basically nothing at all.
"And why weren't you home at curfew?"
Mai went a bit pink. 12:30 is the Valentine's curfew; a rule Mai had installed herself. She tried to save herself with, "And what about having boys at the house after curfew?"
"Look who's talking!"
Mai went pinker, then brushed past me 'n' Yugi, only to run right into Seto.
"OK, now I KNOW there was a rule against parties!"
Daine, Jewel, and I all began to explain about Grandma.
Mai paled. "Grandma's coming..HERE?!?!?!?!"
We all nodded. Let the colorful language games BEGIN!!
Crissy Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, instead of going to our Uncle's restaurant, Malik and I found ourselves back at my house. For a looooooong boring behavioral lesson. Coached by Seto. *Snort*
Mokuba come and saved us. He quickly scribbled dinner topics for each of our b/f's.
Malik's list:
1: How much Daine resembles the wonderful role-model that is "Grandma."
2: Wallpaper, and other decorating ideas.
3: Food - How wonderful the dinner is, etc.
4: The new zoo.
BTW, do NOT mention a monkey!!
I added not to wear earrings, bracelets, etc, or to bring the oh so fun ax.
We all said goodbye, and Mai walks in. We broke the news to her as lightly as possible that grandma was coming.
I told Malik to pick me up in the morning. We need to find proper "meeting grandma" attire. As is, I don't think grandma will like the baggy pants, etc.
So, this morning, I got ready, scrawled a quick note to my sisters about meeting for lunch, and left with Malik. Then, I did what us Valentine's do best, I SHOPPED. Oh, I wish Malik would let me help him pick out outfits more often!!
For lunch, we all met at our uncle's restaurant. We saw Grandpa Moto sitting by himself going over some paperwork, so we invited him to eat with us.
We were all deep in conversation about Grandpa Moto's business when the Valentine's jumped at an unmistakable voice. "Hello girls." My grandmother smiled at the three of us.
We chorused our greetings, and then Grandma's gaze fell upon Mr. Moto. Her tone grew icy. "Well, Solomon Moto, the years have certainly been cruel to YOU."
TROUBLE!! Red flag, flashing sirens kind of TROUBLE!!! Grandma knew Mr. Moto, and by the sounds of it, she didn't like him.
"Still mad at me for what happened in high school, Iris?"
"Quiet, Solomon!" Grandma commanded, "Girls, I thought I'd taught you better than to hang around with such people!"
I kicked Yugi under the table, he was looking like he was about to say something.. unwise. My grandmother's gaze fell upon Malik. Uh-oh! Moment of truth!! And Malik still looked..Malik-ish..
"Who're you?"
Malik stood and cautiously extended his hand. "I'm Malik Ishtar, ma'am. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?"
Polite, not threatening, friendly. I had to give Malik full points there. My grandmother scoffed and ignored his hand. "You may call me Madam Valentine." She addressed Yugi and Seto, "Who're you?"
Everyone introduced themselves in turn, and then they were closely examined by Grandmother.
Not too disastrous.. but we'll wait to decide that once we're alone with Grandmother.
Oh dear.. we're so DEAD!!!
Aundaine Valentine
Hey!! I am very against everyone saying Seto couldn't teach us or do the weather. He was doing just fine, besides the long boring speeches, and the fact that he didn't know why we needed 13 spoons either.and oh, all right, so he was horrible at it. But you don't have to accent that fact!! Like I just did..
Anyway, since Mokuba did save us from Kaiba Weather Reports, I suppose I owe him a thank you. Anyway, here's Seto's list.
1: HINTS that you thought Mrs. Valentine was Jewel, nothing too obvious or she'll suspect something.
2: What she managed to get at the mall. (She's a Valentine, she'll have gone to the mall before she got here.)
3: Why she hasn't graced us with her presence before.
4: Whether she'd like a sapphire, ruby, or pearl necklace from the stores. (Pick one and give the other two to Malik and Yugi!)
5: Absolutely NO weather reports, capes, or jokes you made up yourself. They will NOT go over well. NO evil looks, no evil laughs. Bear whatever she says, and NO VENGEFUL WARCRIES. I know you. Don't try it.
Way to tell off your big brother, Mokuba! And I suppose you're right.
Oh, man! Now Seto's gotta ditch the cape. I LOVED the cape. Rrrghh..If grandmother Iris disapproves, I swear I will kill her with my own hands.
OK, so Seto said he'd come in "proper business clothing." Help me! Where's Mokuba? I need to restrain Seto from bringing a cape!!
So I..went over unannounced to help put the kibosh on Kaiba. Hehehe..Kibosh..Kaiba..kibosh..Kaiba! That's just wrong.
I asked Mokuba where Seto was (stupid incoherent secretary couldn't find him) because he's got like this inner radar as to where his brother is. It's almost creepy!
He said he was in his room, finding something to wear.
After knocking on the wood of 5 doors (I am NOT about to barge in on him) I found which one of the 8 bedrooms he was in. WHY IS THIS PLACE SO BIG????
Yeah, anyway, I stepped in, and promptly burst out laughing. He had on this.thing.that was sort of a cross between a tux and an over-acheiver's army uniform! Seriously! It had ropes and medals and all kinds of other.shtuff..all over it! And he had tried to sneak in a very short cape.
It took me nearly 10 FOOING MINUTES of wheedling for him to ditch the cape. Grandma does NOT like capes. But now that I think of it, she might approve of the full regalia Seto.
I spent pretty much the rest of the time trying on clothes Seto had made for the virtual reality people. THAT was fun.
Yeah, I got back.and apparently Grandmother Iris is HERE!! And the reason I found this out is she saw all of us out to lunch with Malik still wearing Malik-ish attire and Grandpa Moto whom she apparently HATES.
Wish us luck! (Aren't I optimistic?)
Jewel Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, people, y'all know what to do! Read and review!! All flames will be consumed by Crissy's Fire Unicorn, dissipated by Jewel's Water Unicorn, and the people who made them will be chased down by Daine's Lightning Unicorn. Happy? Good.
So press the little button.
It's right there.
TYPE!!
DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
Rabid Lawyers: *Laugh evilly*
Jewel: OK, fine, you want me to die!? I just won't say the disclaimer!! HA!! FOO ON YOU ALL!!! AND GUESS WHAT?
Rabid Lawyers: What?
Jewel: I OWN YUGIOH!! I HAVE ALWAYS OWNED YUGIOH!!!
Rabid Lawyers: NOOOOOOOO! Fine! We'll let you out!!
Jewel: Oh, yeah, and if you think I own Yugioh, you need a pass to Calmwood mental hospital worse than I do.
Rabid Lawyers: And that's saying something.
Jewel: *Whacks Rabid Lawyers with a large pointy stick* Now! On with the ficcy!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, I just had one of the best nights of my life! Not only did I get to go out of a window onto a tree, but I got to chuck a few of those hideous garden fairy things at ex-Valentine boyfriends! How cool is that?
Alright, I'll back up, Last night, around 11:00, interrupting MY quiet time; the idiots called Bakura and Tristan broke into our house! We had to take a course of action, so I made like a *snort* monkey, cleared the windowsill STILL holding a garden fairy, and waited for my sisters to flush them out.
While on my tree branch, I heard screams from inside. If I hadn't known it was Tristan and Bakura, I would have thought it was two third grade girls that broke into our house!!
They flew out the front door, followed by two flying garden fairies, thrown by the Valentine sisters.
I leapt from my perch, and promptly chucked my fairy. Bulls-eye! We tied them up with a couple pieces of twine, and then forced them to cook for us. OMG, Bakura is a wimp, but he sure can make chili!!
We pooled our ideas for a puni-erm, a..oh what the heck, an awful revenge plan!! But, seeing as I had a date w/Yugi in the morning I headed off to bed and let the ex-girlfriends deal with their ex-bishies. I ALMOST started to feel sorry for them. ALMOST. Ok, I didn't feel any sympathy at all! So sue me!
I woke up early, grabbed an apple (red) and climbed out my window, and shimmied down the tree. What an awesome sneak out plan!
Me 'n' Yami went off to a conservatory, (don't ask me why, but we felt rather flowerish right then) and were sitting quietly when three of my classmates come up, toting large cameras, and large notebooks labeled "Science."
It's Jimena, Ankara, and Keola. They're kinda my friends, buy kinda not. You know what I mean. So I didn't expect them to say anything more than a 'hi' or something.
Ankara stops dead when she sees me, and practically screams, "YOU'RE ALIVE?!?!?!"
Not, "Hi," or "How are you?" but "You're alive?" I mean, come on!
"Um..yeah, when was I dead?" I was rather surprised, seeing as well, you know! I'm kinda standing here!
"Well, you and your sisters disappeared from school, and didn't come back, so, rumors started that you had all died in a fire or something!"
"But, we sent a letter to our grandmother to notify school that we were all competing in Battle City!"
"Well, apparently, your grandma didn't."
Uh-oh..If grandma didn't say anything, were we actually ALLOWED to compete? If not, grandma was gonna fry us!!
Yami noticed my rather nervous face, and introduced himself to the others, taking the spotlight off of me. Good thing, too. I love my bishies!
I tried to forget that fact about grandma while I was with Yami/Yugi, but I'm gonna have to tell my sisters. OMG will grams KILL us!! Yuck, I think Jewel's cookin' tonight. Maybe I'll tell them BEFORE we eat..
Crissy Valentine
PS: Never mind, I believe there IS some chili left! YAY!
PPS: Wish us luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, revenge is good..Those stupid idiotic ex-boyfriends! They broke into our fooing house trying to steal Fuzzy back..who we seriously need to re- name!
Hrm..how about Pepperjacks? Or Makokoa?...Pickle?..oh, how about Itallics? Wait, no that's a cat's name..OK, how about Tazeden? It means "again" in Turkmen! So if he barks, we can say "TAZEDEN!" and then he'll bark again! OK, well, I like it! We can call him Taze!
Oh, back to revenge! So, first we forced them to cook for us..spicy chili with real peppers, soul cream, cheese, crackers on the side! Oh, compared to what we have been eating, it was HEAVENLY!!
WHY are they better cooks than us? Grr..oh well. Hey, maybe we should make Mai cook! She NEVER cooks! But, she IS a Valentine sister, so we might not have had her cooking because otherwise we'd be.ya know..dead..
ANYWAY..We questioned the two idiots thoroughly (among chucking things at them..) Then I came up with a plan.
I had bout an invisible fence earlier (for Fuzzy) so I got these shock collars w/remote controls!
We put them on Bakura and Tristan, thus making them our slaves. They would be stuck in our house, and the collars could only be removed by the handy dandy keys in my pocket!
Hey, I'm not so bad at this revenge stuff. So, after we were done pretending that the button was stuck..we set them to work cooking and cleaning for us.
Oh, and I set wards so they couldn't get into our rooms.
Be fore I could leave to meet Malik, Crissy called. Jewel slipped off somewhere so I made Bakura pick up the phone.
"Hey?"
Crissy didn't even bother with introductions. "WE'RE DEAD!!"
"What?"
She was talking really fast now. "Grandma is gonna KILL us!"
"Wha - Oh shoot why?"
"Ya see, grandma never agreed to us coming and competing in the tournament so our school thinks we're dead. AND grandma never approved of us dating ANYONE. So..we're dead!"
I smacked the table in frustration and my hand INNOCENTLY hit the shock button.
The doorbell rang, and I left to go with Malik. I'll talk to him tonight about meting Grandma.
Yours in anguish,
Aundaine Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
Fun news, horrible news, fun news, REALLY horrible news.
K, so we trapped Tristan and Bakura, put dog collars on them (Wow..just how much fun could we possibly HAVE with the handy dandy little shock button?) and made them cook. I seriously wish they weren't so good at this! It makes me feel so..incapable of cooking and keeping people alive!
So..after having lots of fun with the pretty shock buttons, Seto picked me up for a date. I didn't even know where we were going, but on the way Seto said it might be SLIGHTLY illegal to imprison people in our house. So we'll just have to keep them hidden, I guess...
ANYWAYS.the limo stopped real fast, and the driver exclaimed that, "Some crazy person on a motorcycle" just drove in front of us and stopped!
WHY can't Daine drive next to the window like a normal person? Honestly! She'll get herself killed if she keeps this up! Speaking of which, that's what she screamed to me.
"Jay! WE'RE DEAD!!"
"Umm.OK.."
"No! Seriously! Grandma's coming and we just figured out that she didn't approve of us being here!"
"She WHAT???"
"Didn't approve, everyone at school thinks we're dead, and you KNOW she doesn't approve of us having boyfriends!"
I'm like THAT close to spilling profane language. But then my cell phone rings.
"Hello?" Please don't be grandma! Please oh please oh please!!
"I'm so glad I finally got a hold of you, Jewel dear!" Crap. It's grandma. "I just wanted you to know I'm coming to visit you in Domino City this weekend."
"W-wonderful."
"See you then, dear." *Click*
NOW I spill profane language.
"What?" Daine and Seto say it together.
"Our dear grandmother will be here this weekend."
Profane words from Daine.
"Are you sure it's this weekend?"
"Well, knowing grandma, it'll probably be sooner."
Sarcastically, Daine says, "WONDERFUL. Now we not only have to get rid of Bakura and Tristan, clean the house and prop our b/f's, we have to do it SOON??"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Wait a minute," Shoot! I completely forgot Seto was there. "Why do you have to tell her you have b/f's?"
"Because A, it's lying, and B, if she gets pissed at us she'll find you anyway and hate us more for it!!"
"Oh.OK then." I think I kinda thoroughly confused him. He's not used to someone like grandma. Namely, someone who can't hide from or lie to. "Well, anyway, I can loan you some people to help with housework."
"I love my boyfriend!! I love him I love him I love him I do!" I was so completely stressed I said exactly what I was thinking, then gave him a big hug.
Daine rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. "Thanks. Now, can you come back to our house so we can make your personality presentable enough for Grandmother? Or do you have some hotshot business meeting?"
"No, I can come."
So we rushed back, took out anxieties on Tristan and Bakura after collecting Yugi and Malik, and then tried to.coach our b/f's to Grandmother's liking. Help!
Jewel Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~
OMG!! After Seto hired a whole squad of house cleaners that absolutely made the Valentine house SPARKLE, we unwillingly de-collared Tristan and Bakura. (They almost cried. How PATHETIC.)
Malik threatened them rather heavily and then they RAN. Like, 2-minute mile ran. Wow, who knew such a big guy like Tristan could go so fast?
Then, came forth the real task at hand. Training Yugi, Malik, and Seto to be perfect boyfriend models.
The people Seto had hired set up a really nice formal table with a whole bunch of spoons. OMG. Spoons. 13 of them.
The Seto tried to be formal..and teach us at the same time. Thank goodness the table setters were better at it than him.
Then, polite after dinner conversation. Ummm..let's just say if all three bishies stay silent, we MIGHT make it through the evening. MIGHT.
Then, Seto begins a weatherman spiel about the weather. Like, KaibaCorpNews. I really doubt the whole topic would impress Grandma.
Malik tried to give an impression of the monkey chase. Five pillows hit his head at the same time.
Yugi tried to explain duel monsters but even I was nodding off when he rounded the 20th minute.
Did I mention we are gonna DIE?
Around 10:30, when we had completely given up and were watching TV, Mokuba came to pick up Kaiba. He assessed the rather pitiful situation. He then wrote down four topics per bishie. I peeked at Yugi's list:
1: Wonderful Weather.
2: Clean "Old Person" jokes.
3: The new art museum exhibit.
4: How wonderful Crissy is (Keep it CLEAN!).
WE ALL OWE YOU MUCHO MOKUBA!!!!!
Then, after a practice round (with Mokuba acting as Granny) the guys let around 1:30. (Mokuba got a kiss on the cheek from all of the extremely grateful Valentine sisters (much to his, um.. disgust?). Then, I gave Yugi/Yami a kiss goodbye. He kissed me once again, just for good luck, then walks right into Mai!
She was just coming home from a party at the Stage House, and was decked out in proper Mai Valentine fashion, basically nothing at all.
"And why weren't you home at curfew?"
Mai went a bit pink. 12:30 is the Valentine's curfew; a rule Mai had installed herself. She tried to save herself with, "And what about having boys at the house after curfew?"
"Look who's talking!"
Mai went pinker, then brushed past me 'n' Yugi, only to run right into Seto.
"OK, now I KNOW there was a rule against parties!"
Daine, Jewel, and I all began to explain about Grandma.
Mai paled. "Grandma's coming..HERE?!?!?!?!"
We all nodded. Let the colorful language games BEGIN!!
Crissy Valentine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, instead of going to our Uncle's restaurant, Malik and I found ourselves back at my house. For a looooooong boring behavioral lesson. Coached by Seto. *Snort*
Mokuba come and saved us. He quickly scribbled dinner topics for each of our b/f's.
Malik's list:
1: How much Daine resembles the wonderful role-model that is "Grandma."
2: Wallpaper, and other decorating ideas.
3: Food - How wonderful the dinner is, etc.
4: The new zoo.
BTW, do NOT mention a monkey!!
I added not to wear earrings, bracelets, etc, or to bring the oh so fun ax.
We all said goodbye, and Mai walks in. We broke the news to her as lightly as possible that grandma was coming.
I told Malik to pick me up in the morning. We need to find proper "meeting grandma" attire. As is, I don't think grandma will like the baggy pants, etc.
So, this morning, I got ready, scrawled a quick note to my sisters about meeting for lunch, and left with Malik. Then, I did what us Valentine's do best, I SHOPPED. Oh, I wish Malik would let me help him pick out outfits more often!!
For lunch, we all met at our uncle's restaurant. We saw Grandpa Moto sitting by himself going over some paperwork, so we invited him to eat with us.
We were all deep in conversation about Grandpa Moto's business when the Valentine's jumped at an unmistakable voice. "Hello girls." My grandmother smiled at the three of us.
We chorused our greetings, and then Grandma's gaze fell upon Mr. Moto. Her tone grew icy. "Well, Solomon Moto, the years have certainly been cruel to YOU."
TROUBLE!! Red flag, flashing sirens kind of TROUBLE!!! Grandma knew Mr. Moto, and by the sounds of it, she didn't like him.
"Still mad at me for what happened in high school, Iris?"
"Quiet, Solomon!" Grandma commanded, "Girls, I thought I'd taught you better than to hang around with such people!"
I kicked Yugi under the table, he was looking like he was about to say something.. unwise. My grandmother's gaze fell upon Malik. Uh-oh! Moment of truth!! And Malik still looked..Malik-ish..
"Who're you?"
Malik stood and cautiously extended his hand. "I'm Malik Ishtar, ma'am. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?"
Polite, not threatening, friendly. I had to give Malik full points there. My grandmother scoffed and ignored his hand. "You may call me Madam Valentine." She addressed Yugi and Seto, "Who're you?"
Everyone introduced themselves in turn, and then they were closely examined by Grandmother.
Not too disastrous.. but we'll wait to decide that once we're alone with Grandmother.
Oh dear.. we're so DEAD!!!
Aundaine Valentine
Hey!! I am very against everyone saying Seto couldn't teach us or do the weather. He was doing just fine, besides the long boring speeches, and the fact that he didn't know why we needed 13 spoons either.and oh, all right, so he was horrible at it. But you don't have to accent that fact!! Like I just did..
Anyway, since Mokuba did save us from Kaiba Weather Reports, I suppose I owe him a thank you. Anyway, here's Seto's list.
1: HINTS that you thought Mrs. Valentine was Jewel, nothing too obvious or she'll suspect something.
2: What she managed to get at the mall. (She's a Valentine, she'll have gone to the mall before she got here.)
3: Why she hasn't graced us with her presence before.
4: Whether she'd like a sapphire, ruby, or pearl necklace from the stores. (Pick one and give the other two to Malik and Yugi!)
5: Absolutely NO weather reports, capes, or jokes you made up yourself. They will NOT go over well. NO evil looks, no evil laughs. Bear whatever she says, and NO VENGEFUL WARCRIES. I know you. Don't try it.
Way to tell off your big brother, Mokuba! And I suppose you're right.
Oh, man! Now Seto's gotta ditch the cape. I LOVED the cape. Rrrghh..If grandmother Iris disapproves, I swear I will kill her with my own hands.
OK, so Seto said he'd come in "proper business clothing." Help me! Where's Mokuba? I need to restrain Seto from bringing a cape!!
So I..went over unannounced to help put the kibosh on Kaiba. Hehehe..Kibosh..Kaiba..kibosh..Kaiba! That's just wrong.
I asked Mokuba where Seto was (stupid incoherent secretary couldn't find him) because he's got like this inner radar as to where his brother is. It's almost creepy!
He said he was in his room, finding something to wear.
After knocking on the wood of 5 doors (I am NOT about to barge in on him) I found which one of the 8 bedrooms he was in. WHY IS THIS PLACE SO BIG????
Yeah, anyway, I stepped in, and promptly burst out laughing. He had on this.thing.that was sort of a cross between a tux and an over-acheiver's army uniform! Seriously! It had ropes and medals and all kinds of other.shtuff..all over it! And he had tried to sneak in a very short cape.
It took me nearly 10 FOOING MINUTES of wheedling for him to ditch the cape. Grandma does NOT like capes. But now that I think of it, she might approve of the full regalia Seto.
I spent pretty much the rest of the time trying on clothes Seto had made for the virtual reality people. THAT was fun.
Yeah, I got back.and apparently Grandmother Iris is HERE!! And the reason I found this out is she saw all of us out to lunch with Malik still wearing Malik-ish attire and Grandpa Moto whom she apparently HATES.
Wish us luck! (Aren't I optimistic?)
Jewel Valentine
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