After Toast and Kiwi explained who everyone was, which he had known, and that their names were Toast and Kiwi, and that Toast used to be Mimi, and where they were at in the journey, leaving out all the information on what had currently happened, and why his breath was so minty, Toast began touching his soft, soft, soft hair, which she loved to touch.

"God I love your hair." She said still rubbing his head.

Ian kept trying to pull his head away from her hand, but was almost impossible, for Toast had a specialty to touch hair on guys' heads. "Can I have my hat back please?"

"No., I love your hat!" she said holding it to her.

Ian grabbed it away and put it on. "Where did my cheese-its go?" he said looking around.

"Hum de dum... Hmm that is a good question..." Kiwi laughed nervously while looking at Pip from the corner of her eye.

Ian looked at her a bit skeptically. "You stole my damn cheese its!"

"Eep... he made me do it.." Kiwi said pointing at Pip.

"Is there a nickname for mesa?" Ian said looking to Toast.

"Do you want one?" she asked him, noticing Pippin running ahead of the fellowship with the cheese-it box in his hand.

"Yeah, yeah, like you have Toast." He said.

"What nickname would you like Sean John?" She began, "Well doesn't Ian mean Sean John or whatever?"

"Is Shohn spelt that way?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know that."

Toast laughed a bit. "Its your name, and there's Sean, Shon, Shawn, the list could go on forever there's like a bajillion ways to spell Sean. I personally like Sean."

"Wow. Hey is there like a villain here in this story?"

"Well there's of course evil sauron and saroman, or whatever. But they aren't mentioned yet. What nickname would you like though?"

"There needs to be a always failing kooky silly sets traps easily exceptible and sneaky villain!!!"

Toast laughed again, as Kiwi ran off to eat some cheese-its that Pippin had. "Sure, why not. Now what about your nickname?"

"Well, it needs to be something random."

Toast laughed, yet again. "Yeah." She pulls out a baked potato with melted cheese on it and begins to eat it, while looking around.

"Rebel!"

Toast laughs again. "That's not too random." She said looking at him, finishing up her potato.

"My nickname is Rebel! So is it to umm, ehh?"

She nods a bit. "You said you wanted random. And that's not too random."

"That was random."

"Its YOU!"

"I was thinking of pirates, then suddenly Rebel came!"

Toast continued laughing. "You see, Shoebuckle is random."

"Okay, okay! Fine!" He begins crying.

"Aww, Ian, don't cry!" she said hugging him, and as she hugged him, Pippin got a bit mad and jelous.

"Paint!" Ian said as he stopped crying.

Toast laughed again.

"Shimmer."

"That'll do."

"Poo, Poopy, Bottle, Pin, Leg."

"Why not Bottle, you like talking to bottles." Toast said, looking over to Pippin, seeing his mad look. 'He hates me more every second! Why me!?' she thought to herself.

"Okay. Bottle ish meh."

"Hey foo, my friend needs advice and I cant help her."

"What?"

"Well, maybe you can help her."

"What is it?"

"Well, you see, my friend has a crush on her best friend." She said looking around shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"Yeah."

"Well, what should she do?" she said asking, still shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"That's it?"

She stopped shifting. "Well, yeah."

"God."

Toast laughed a bit nervously.

"This isn't you is it?" He asked her a bit skeptically.

Toast shook her head quickly.

"Okay." He said simply, then began thinking.

"Well?"

"Well?"

"Well? What should she do?"

"I dunno, I gotta go sorry." He said quickly and ran off to find Kiwi.

By the time Bottle got to Kiwi, the Cheese-its had melted into a nacho cheese pile. Pippin had tripped him perpously, and Bottle went flying into the melted substance.

Toast, whom had ran up to ketch up to her friends, stopped to see Bottle covered in cheese from head to toe. She tried to keep in her laughter.

"Ello Luv!" she said looking at him.

Bottle's eyes looked as if they were about to pop out.

"Don't worry! I call everyone Luv! Besides, you know I love you.,as a friend."

She gave him a towel, and he was instantly dry, and cheese-free.

"Eeeh heh." He said looking a bit skeptically at her again.

She through her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Well you ish my best friend!"

Pippin looked as if ready to tear Bottle's head off, but Kiwi kept him back.

~*~*~*~

At the doors

Of Moria

~*~*~*~

"And I read the bottle and it said 98 percent alcahol, and im like, whats alcahol? And the bottle was like, 'I dunno' and I'm like, You can talk! And the bottle is like, 'That's only cause your drunk.' And Im like no you're drunk! And hes like 'only because you didn't get that fabolooosleyless bandanna the day you saw it.' And I was like whats a bandanna, and it was like 'that thing your wearing.' And I was like Ohh!! I don't get it. And its like 'the damn thing you are wearing!!' and I'm like well why didn't you tell me that in the first place? And it was like 'You moron!' and im like your funny! And its like 'look what I can do!' and the bottle started dancing and im like Oooohh. And its like 'la la la la la la' and I was like at least I got this black rubber fake barbwire bracelet from Toast, and its like 'you actually like that trash?' and im like you meany! I give you punishingmentnesnesnes! And its like 'Nooooooooooooo' and I killed it."

By that time, everyone was looking to Bottle as if he were a freak, and the doors had already opened.

"Hes drunk. At least I think he is." Toast said.

"Maybe I can help him." Pippin said, standing on a rock, slapping Bottle in the face.

Bottle got out of his drunkness phase.

"Are you okay?" Kiwi said looking at him.

Bottle nodded.

"Bottle, I'm scared! I don't want to be attacked by Orcs and that mean 'ol balrog. Bottle..," Toast said as she clung onto his arm.

Pippin was green with envy, and looked furious.

Kiwi looked at him. "aww, Pippin, its alright."

And they all walked into Moria.