** I am posting a few more chapters.. the story is complete, but I am
correcting the layout as it does not upload as it should. I must note that
in this story, already you have heard the Haldir's father is alive..
Tolkien does not give Haldir's lineage, or father's name and after much
thought and pondering have come up with what I felt was a appropriate name.
I hope you will agree. The story switches gears here, and is where it
steps away from Jrr's world.. A huge thank you to all the reviewers, I
appreciate all of your comments.. weaknesses as well as what you like.It
helps me see what sometimes the author may be blind to. and what I need to
work on. Thanks again.Fianna
Chapter Thirteen: Preparation
Tári knelt next to the drow with Windred, pulling the arrow from his shoulder, and looked up when Haldir turned on his heel to stalk off into the trees. She started to rise, but Windred gripped her arm.
"He needs time alone, Tári. His brothers follow. This is a family matter that must be sorted out in their hearts."
Tári watched him leave, sensing his frustration, but more the anguish that he was trying to push away. She wanted to be with him, but Windred shook her head again, and she turned back to the elf.
"So you knew all along about Haldir's father?" Tári said quietly, pushing against the drow's shoulder, testing the arrow. Windred pushed the elf on to his back and glanced at her.
"Aye, as soon as I saw him I remembered him. They look very much alike."
"Why did you not tell him before, or me, or father?" Tári asked.
Windred yanked the arrow from Tiernan's shoulder, smiling at him when he glared blearily at her. She scowled, looking at Tári. "Why? What good would it done then? The portal stone was destroyed. I knew no way to get back. I spoke of it to Galadriel and it was not until we felt the drow had come to the surface that I knew it might be possible. Galadriel knew."
Tári watched Windred heal the shoulder wound. Her Aunt's demeanor had changed. Why? She held down Tiernan's leg while Windred pulled out the second arrow. The drow was unconscious and Windred reached out to touch his forehead gently.
"You wonder why I am different? I am not. Perhaps my thoughts were stubborn, I refused to allow myself the belief that my life could be different. I watched you Tári, how you behave toward the March Warden, how he behaves toward you. I still do not approve his dominance over you. A good lesson it might be for him to see what life is like for the males in the drow world. He would not like it." She stared at the arrow in her hand for a moment.
"I had to choose between being with Tiernan, and gaining my rank as priestess. I knew if I were to escape some day, I would need to be in a position of power. To be with Tiernan meant a life of servitude, as he serves the priestesses. I would have had no freedom to do what little I could to aid the cause of light within the drow world." She shook her head.
"I cannot believe they sent him here, with no priestesses to help him. They knew he would fail. That is not a good omen, it means his household will be open for anyone to take once they realize he is not coming back. I think they wanted to see him destroyed, as well as Tathar and you and me. Perhaps it is the will of your gods that we have survived, for it is not the will of ours."
Tári sat back on her heels. "He will take us down there, won't he?"
Windred sighed. "Not willingly."
* *
Haldir stalked away from the drow, through the trees, uncaring of where his steps led him. He needed to get away. His mind was whirling with the horror, the shock of Tári's words, yet he knew them to be true. Anguish swept through him at the thought of his father's life. All these years, alive. Haldir stopped , sinking to his knees. He could not go on.
Rúmil and Orophin hurried after Haldir, dropping out of the trees to run silently to his side when he fell to his knees. They knelt next to him.
"We will find him, Haldir." Orophin said, gripping Haldir's shoulder. Haldir sat back on his heels, his eyes closed, his face drawn.
"You could not have prevented it, Haldir. Or known he was alive, none of us knew." Rúmil leaned over to look at him, but Haldir did not open his eyes.
Haldir ran a shaking hand over his face, struggling to control the emotions, the anger. He knew his brothers were only trying to comfort him, their own thoughts must be scattered as well. But he could not push away the thought of his father, a slave. For thousands of years. What would he be like now? Would he be able to return to even a ghost of the elf Haldir had known before? Haldir's mind was fraught with worry, fear. The thoughts brought turmoil, doubts about his own strength. It overwhelmed him.
Tári walked slowly toward the three elves, ignoring her aunt's advice to leave him alone. She could sense the torment he was feeling. She could not stay away. She circled around the three, and stepped in front of Haldir, kneeling before him.
"I had hoped the news would give you joy, Haldir. But I sense I have brought you only torment. I am sorry." She said quietly, glancing at Rúmil. He shook his head. "He can be found, Haldir."
"Found? Tári, he is not a lost puppy, or a child lost in the woods. He was a grown elf. Taken by elves who do not know the word pity, or kindness. What has he had to endure? Is there anything left of the elf I once knew, and loved? If we find him, will it be for naught?"
Tári reached out to touch him, but Haldir drew back, his eyes dark. She pulled her hand back, frowning. He stood up and pulled her beside him.
"We shall find him, whether he wishes it or no. I will see him once more. I will send the others back with Orophin."
Orophin and Rúmil had stood up, and Orophin's chin rose quickly, his eyes flashing. He stepped in front of Haldir.
"I am going with you, Haldir."
"I need you to lead the others to Lorien." Haldir said, glaring at his brother.
Orophin clenched his jaw. "I will not. He is my father as well. I will go." He stepped closer to Haldir and the two brothers stared at one another angrily.
Rúmil pushed them apart. "We will all go, to Lothlórien first, to gather supplies. And then to the drow world. The Lady will want to know. A few more days Haldir, will make no difference to our father." Orophin nodded in agreement, eyes still locked with Haldir's. Haldir's lips tightened, but he nodded curtly. He turned and strode off further into the trees.
Tári stared after him, and Orophin wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "He will be all right. It is something he needs to work out in his mind, Tári. It is not you. Although Haldir was young when father was taken, he has always felt partly responsible. It is something he has never given up. This has brought it all back."
* *
The elves made their way into the Golden Wood, a long line of weary travelers wending their way among the trees. Haldir strode in front, silent, his expression impassive. He had not spoken to Tári since the day before. He knew he was hurting her. She blamed herself. But he could not approach her. The pain in his heart was still too strong, the worry, the fear. He could not let her see him that way. He stopped when a warden dropped down from the trees in front of him, a few steps away.
The warden bowed, saluting with his hand over his heart. "Welcome home, March Warden. The Lady awaits your arrival."
Haldir nodded brusquely, and strode ahead. Rúmil and Orophin paused beside the warden, who looked at each elf curiously.
"He is withdrawn. What has happened?" The warden asked.
Rúmil sighed. "He has received some news that shadows his heart. Take the Laiquendi as the Lady wills. Orophin and I must catch up with Haldir." The warden nodded and bowed slightly, watching the two brothers sprint up the trail after Haldir.
Tári watched them leave with a heavy heart. This had not gone as she expected. She thought he would be happy, or at least thankful. But he had not said a word to her, or to anyone since that day. She was getting tired of his gloominess. He was a bad as Windred lately. She lifted her chin, narrowing her eyes. He was going to talk to her, whether he liked it or not. He was going to find he was not the only bully. She smiled to herself at that thought, and stepped further down the trail, with a lighter step.
* *
Orophin crossed the bridge, Rúmil and his attempts to speak to Haldir had not gone well. The stubborn elf had retreated inside himself, and nothing they could say would change it until Haldir made that decision. Orophin had seen it too many times. He sighed, knowing the torment that it was causing Tári. He hoped she would understand. He sprinted up the steps toward his talan, his thoughts distracting him, when he was nearly knocked off his feet by a bundle of white hair and gray silk fabric.
He wrapped his arms around the maiden who had flown so brutally into his arms, laughing at the furious expression on her face. He spun around, staggering against the railing. He pulled Aranel into his embrace, gripping the chin that suddenly quivered.
"I see you are glad to see me, Aranel. Did you miss me?"
Aranel fought back the wash of hot tears that threatened to spill, scowling at the warden. "Miss you? Why should I miss you? You left me without hardly saying goodbye!"
Orophin frowned, "I am sorry, but it was not my choice, 'Nel." He grinned, pulling her hard against him. "But I am back now."
Aranel pushed away, scowling worse. "Back, but not for long! I hear you are leaving again! To go into the underworld. Have you lost your mind?"
Orophin sighed, reaching out to grip Aranel's chin again. "Aye, I must leave again. My father lives, Aranel. We must find him, and bring him home. I fear for Haldir's sanity if we do not. You must understand."
Aranel couldn't stop the tears that seeped out of her dark brown eyes. "But you just arrived. Can you not wait at least a few days?"
Orophin shook his head, and gathered her into his arms. He rested his head on the white hair, running his hand through the long silken tresses. "Nay, we cannot. But you will stay with me until I leave." He slid his hands around her face and brushed his lips across hers softly.
* *
Keliar strode along the walkways. They would not stay long and the urge to see a particular Lothlórien maiden was foremost in his mind at the moment. He didn't have to travel far before he saw her. She was hurrying up the stairs below him, her skirts lifted high around her ankles. Her gaze swept up to him and she waved, smiling.
"Keliar, I feared I would never see you again." Brenna gasped when they met on the walkway. She smiled when Keliar lifted her fingers, kissing them lightly.
"Aye, my thoughts as well, dear Brenna." He smiled down at her, his brown eyes twinkling. "But I fear my stay is not long."
Brenna pouted, her lips pursing. "I have heard, it is the talk of the city. I cannot imagine what is going through Haldir's mind. Or his brothers for that matter. You will go with them?"
Keliar nodded. "I must, for Tári's sake." He tucked Brenna's hand in his arm, strolling along the walkway. "Haldir has been distant since he found out. I do not know what to think."
Brenna's eyes grew sad. "It was an awful time for them, Keliar, when they returned without Halcyon. Haldir was devastated. It took him years to put it behind him. I think it's what drives him so hard, why he became so aloof."
Keliar nodded. "It must have been a difficult time. But it has made the brothers close."
Brenna smiled. "Aye, no three are closer than they. Haldir helped his mother raise them, although he was not that much older. They have been a trial for him sometimes, as he was to his mother. Do not think he was an innocent young elf. He got into as much trouble as his brothers." She laughed quietly. "But I have not come to speak about Haldir with you." She gripped his arm and Keliar smiled, his eyes lighting up.
* *
Tári sat on a step on the stair, watching the elves go about their daily rituals. Some glanced curiously up at her, seeing her sitting alone. The flash of white hair once in a while made her smile, her people would become part of Galadriel's. Still Laiquendi, always that. But hopefully they would help strengthen the Galadhrim with their numbers. It would be up to Haldir to choose whether he would allow the sentinels of the Laiquendi to guard his borders among his wardens.
Would he allow her? What was going to be her role? She leaned her chin onto her palm. He still hadn't spoken to her. Didn't he realize she could sense his emotions? She knew why he avoided her. He was too proud. She had brought back old memories, old fears resurfacing, making him doubt himself. So unlike him. She couldn't let him go on, but how to approach him? She'd thought to bully her way, forcing him to listen. But he was stubborn, and she didn't want to ruin anything with heated words.
They had one night before they left again, but she doubted he would rest. She saw Keliar and Brenna pass below her, intent on each other. Well, that was a relief. Her mentor had been quiet the journey here. He must be concerned about his own role. But perhaps not, Keliar was always one to adjust easily to any situation. He would make the best of what came to him, he always did.
Rúmil ran up the steps below her, and paused seeing her sitting on the stair. He turned, leaping gracefully up the steps toward her. Tári smiled when he reached her, sitting down next to her on the step.
"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her.
"I should ask if you are all right, Rúmil." Tári said quietly, studying the elf beside her. "You and Orophin do not seem as distraught as Haldir." She picked at the fabric on her knees, and Rúmil laid his hand over her fingers.
"Nay, we are not. Halcyon was Haldir's idol. He and Father were very close. We were very young then. Perhaps an unwise decision on father's part to bring us all on his journey. But then we did not interest the drow. They did." Rúmil folded his arms around his knees, looking out over the city. "He will come around, you must have patience."
Tári frowned. "It is very difficult, Rúmil. I can sense what he feels. More so in him than you."
Rúmil laughed quietly. "That is because you have joined with him, Tári." He grinned at her blush. "Do not think Orophin and I did not know. We can see the signs in Haldir, and you. You are one among a very few he has let close to his heart. He needs you."
Tári looked away, the sudden rush of tears blurring her vision. She couldn't be weak, but they spilled over and she hid her face in her knees. Rúmil's arms wrapped around her, but he said nothing. She took several deep breaths, and sat up, wiping the tears away with the heel of her hand.
"I'm all right, Rúmil." She said, her voice firm. Rúmil sighed quietly.
"You are strong, Tári. I wished to see Cirion before we left again, have you seen her?"
Tári laughed. "Aye, she's been moping about, thinking you were leaving without saying good-bye. She is down among the Laiquendi tents, the one with the green banner."
Rúmil rose, gripping Tári's hand and pulling her to her feet. "I will seek her out. You have one night before we journey into the darkness. What we find there none of us will know. Haldir has hidden himself in a place he goes when he is distressed. No one knows of it but Orophin and I. And now you." He whispered into her ear and Tári smiled.
* *
Haldir leaned against the boulder. The sky above him was clear of tree branches, allowing the light of the moon to wash the area around him with moonlight. Blue shadows darkened the edge of the trees around him, and the leaves rustled in the slight breeze, the sound nearly drowned out by the gurgling of the small stream beside him. The stream pooled here, among the large rocks, to tumble over the rough stone into another pool below him, to meander quietly from there. It eventually trickled into Galadriel's bower, and from there out of the city again, into the Nimrodel. He stared up at the sky, staring at the moon that hung over the city. Would he see it again?
"Does it give you the answers you seek?" Tári asked from behind him.
Haldir smiled, having heard her approach. He didn't move. "Nay."
Tári stepped around him, keeping her distance, studying him. "It hurts me to see you like this, Haldir."
He frowned, glancing at her. She sensed too much. Tári crouched down, picking up a few small rocks, tossing them in her hand.
"You are getting as bad as Windred. You'd make quite a pair. Two gloomy, pessimistic, depressing elves." Tári grumbled, and smiled, seeing the irritated glance he gave her.
"I am not gloomy."
Tári snorted, earning her a raised eyebrow. "Well, what are you then? Why do you let your fears control you now? You have not before. You must look beyond them, Haldir. Don't you understand? You've defeated them, twice now. You are much stronger than your father was."
Haldir closed his eyes. Perhaps if he ignored her she would leave. A rock hitting his forehead made him open his eyes, and he glared at her, rubbing the spot where it had hit him. Tári was staring at him, her eyes compassionate, but resolute.
"You can't just sit there and ignore me." She growled, bouncing another rock in her hand. "If you close your eyes again, I will hit you harder."
Haldir's eyes narrowed. "If you throw that at me, warden, you will be sure to regret it."
Tári smiled. "Oh? And what will you do, March Warden? You cannot place me on watch, or some other punishment you place on your wardens. We leave in the morning, and I am coming with you, whether you like it or want it. You are being foolish."
Haldir moved slightly, his eyes gleaming with annoyance. "Foolish? You have no idea what thoughts lie in my head."
Tári glared at him. "No, I don't. But I can sense your emotions, Haldir. Put aside your blame. You could not have stopped what happened. It was the will of the Valar. If your father is anything like you, he will have survived. Inside him will be the core of the elf you knew. Stop tormenting yourself that he will be no more. You must trust me, I am certain of this."
Haldir stood up in a fluid motion, gripping Tári as he did so, lifting her off her feet. She clutched the front of his tunic when he pulled her close to him, her eyes flashing in annoyance.
"Maybe Windred is right. You are a bit too domineering, Haldir. Put me down."
Haldir smiled, his eyes glinting. "No."
Tári gripped his tunic tighter, his grasp on her arms had moved to her waist, pulling her against him. This was what she wanted wasn't it? No, not in this way. She slid her hands around his neck, pulling herself tighter to him. "I am not going to go away. You can push me away all you want, Haldir. But I will be here, only a few steps away. I am not going to let you go."
Haldir tightened his grip on her waist, staring into the large brown eyes that met his so fearlessly. Mouse. He had to laugh, she was far from the timid creature she was named for. Small perhaps, but a bundle of energy and determination. That emotion sparkled in her eyes now, stubborn determination to make him open his eyes. Aye, he'd been gloomy. She was right. He'd let his memories of that dark time overwhelm him.
"I am sorry, Tári," he said quietly.
"For what? For remembering? It is not your fault, Haldir." Tári whispered, sliding her hands to his cheeks when he set her on her feet. "We will find him, and bring him home. Home to Lothlórien where he belongs."
Haldir sighed, pulling Tári against him gently this time, wrapping his arms around her back. He rested his chin on the top of her head, feeling her twist her fingers into his tunic. The faint shudder that went through her made him frown, and he reached down to grip her chin to look at her.
"Do not cry, Tári," he whispered when she looked up, the dark brown eyes glistened with moisture. He smiled when she twisted her mouth, fighting the emotion. She blinked several times, but a tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, and he caught the drop as it rolled down her cheek with his thumb. "I did not mean to distress you so. It was unwarranted. You have my permission to take me to task when my.. er.gloominess gets the upper hand."
Tári stared at him through the haze of moisture that blurred her vision of him. "I get to take you to task?" She grinned at the smile that crossed his face.
"Aye, but not in front of anyone. I allow you an honor no one has over me, except perhaps Galadriel." He gripped her face, forcing her to look up at him. "But only regarding my gloominess."
Tári's eyes twinkled. "Ah, but perhaps my definition of gloominess is different from yours. And what, pray, do I get to do about it?"
Haldir released her, one long brow arched over the grey eyes. "Do? Well, there are a few things I can think of." He grinned.
Tári smiled, reaching up to slide her hands around his neck, slipping them into his hair. She hugged him, feeling his arms wrap around her. He held her for along moment, then nuzzled his chin into her neck, sending a shiver down her back.
"Oh, and one more thing, Mouse." He whispered into her ear, nipping at the tip. "If you pull my hair again, I will tie you to a tree, or rock or whatever and leave you for the spiders." He laughed when she gasped, pulling away from him.
"Spiders? Don't tell me there are going to be spiders!"
* *
The Laiquendi were settled, and Lord Tathar sprinted up the steps to Galadriel's audience chamber. He strode onto the platform, noting that Haldir and his brothers stood there already, their faces grim. He knew what they were heading into. It was not going to be a pleasant journey. He nodded as the three bowed to him, and turned to wait. Keliar arrived a moment later with Tári. Her eyes swept to Haldir, their eyes meeting, and she smiled. Tathar sighed in relief, at least that was taken care of.
Galadriel and Celeborn glided down the steps, halting in front of Tathar. Celeborn reached out, gripping Tathar's shoulder.
"It is good to see you stand once more before us, Tathar, although the cause is not one I would wish on anyone." Celeborn's eyes were dark with concern as he met Tathar's gaze. His eyes swept down to Tári.
"You will have to go, Tári. Your sense of danger will be what protects them the most. Tiernan knows of the underworld and its dangers. There is more than the drow who reside there. You will have to keep your senses sharp."
Tári nodded, feeling her father grip her elbow. "I understand, Lord Celeborn. I will do what I can." Celeborn nodded and stepped back when Galadriel touched his arm. She reached out to grip Tári's chin.
"You are strong of mind, Tári. You must be strong of heart as well. I see many paths before you. Think carefully on what you choose and where it may lead you. Haldir and you have connected here, you will need his strength to face the dark of the world below. He will need your strength to fight the demons that dwell now in his mind." Galadriel looked pointedly at Haldir. His eyes narrowed, and his chin rose slightly, but he smiled. She released Tári and stepped back.
"The journey will be long. Supplies have been gathered. We dare not send a large party. The fewer you are, the better chance of remaining undetected. Tathar has agreed to send Keliar with you, Haldir. As well as Tári, of course. You will go with Rúmil and Orophin. I take a great chance, Haldir. I suffer the loss of three of my most valued wardens if you should fail. I expect you to return."
Haldir bowed slightly, his hand over his heart. "I will return, my lady, as will the others."
* *
They led Tiernan out, still bound, to where Haldir stood waiting. The drow stared at the March Warden, his face pale. Haldir reached down, pulling a knife from his boot, and turned him around, cutting the elven rope that bound his wrists.
"I must learn to trust you, Tiernan. I hold you to an honor you may never have had, that you will lead us safely to your home, and return. If any harm comes to any of my party through a fault of yours, you will wish the drow had you instead of me." He turned away, glancing at Rúmil.
Tiernan stared at Haldir, rubbing his wrists. Rúmil stepped beside him, and Tiernan nodded. Windred hurried up to him, gripping his sleeve. They stared at one another for a long moment.
"You will return?" She asked quietly.
Tiernan frowned. "Why? I am not part of this world, Windred. I have no place here."
Windred closed her eyes for moment, then glanced at Rúmil. He stepped back, bowing slightly. "You have a place here if you so choose, Tiernan. Your can show them, if you lead them well," she whispered.
Tiernan sighed quietly. "You dream, Windred. I will lead them, yes. I have no choice, or my life is forfeit. Do not think I do not hear the threat the March Warden speaks. But I will guide them, because I want to. My mind has been opened, Windred. The Lady has shown me. But I am afraid."
Windred smiled, her fingers tightening on his sleeve. "Bring them back, Tiernan. All of them, and your place here is assured. I know what lies in your heart, it echoes in mine. Will you forsake a second chance?"
Tiernan gripped her fingers, a soft smile playing over his mouth. "I do not forsake it, Windred. Pray that the Valar, the gods of this surface world . . . " he drew a deep breath, then went on, "pray that the Valar's grace will be with us. We will need it."
Chapter Thirteen: Preparation
Tári knelt next to the drow with Windred, pulling the arrow from his shoulder, and looked up when Haldir turned on his heel to stalk off into the trees. She started to rise, but Windred gripped her arm.
"He needs time alone, Tári. His brothers follow. This is a family matter that must be sorted out in their hearts."
Tári watched him leave, sensing his frustration, but more the anguish that he was trying to push away. She wanted to be with him, but Windred shook her head again, and she turned back to the elf.
"So you knew all along about Haldir's father?" Tári said quietly, pushing against the drow's shoulder, testing the arrow. Windred pushed the elf on to his back and glanced at her.
"Aye, as soon as I saw him I remembered him. They look very much alike."
"Why did you not tell him before, or me, or father?" Tári asked.
Windred yanked the arrow from Tiernan's shoulder, smiling at him when he glared blearily at her. She scowled, looking at Tári. "Why? What good would it done then? The portal stone was destroyed. I knew no way to get back. I spoke of it to Galadriel and it was not until we felt the drow had come to the surface that I knew it might be possible. Galadriel knew."
Tári watched Windred heal the shoulder wound. Her Aunt's demeanor had changed. Why? She held down Tiernan's leg while Windred pulled out the second arrow. The drow was unconscious and Windred reached out to touch his forehead gently.
"You wonder why I am different? I am not. Perhaps my thoughts were stubborn, I refused to allow myself the belief that my life could be different. I watched you Tári, how you behave toward the March Warden, how he behaves toward you. I still do not approve his dominance over you. A good lesson it might be for him to see what life is like for the males in the drow world. He would not like it." She stared at the arrow in her hand for a moment.
"I had to choose between being with Tiernan, and gaining my rank as priestess. I knew if I were to escape some day, I would need to be in a position of power. To be with Tiernan meant a life of servitude, as he serves the priestesses. I would have had no freedom to do what little I could to aid the cause of light within the drow world." She shook her head.
"I cannot believe they sent him here, with no priestesses to help him. They knew he would fail. That is not a good omen, it means his household will be open for anyone to take once they realize he is not coming back. I think they wanted to see him destroyed, as well as Tathar and you and me. Perhaps it is the will of your gods that we have survived, for it is not the will of ours."
Tári sat back on her heels. "He will take us down there, won't he?"
Windred sighed. "Not willingly."
* *
Haldir stalked away from the drow, through the trees, uncaring of where his steps led him. He needed to get away. His mind was whirling with the horror, the shock of Tári's words, yet he knew them to be true. Anguish swept through him at the thought of his father's life. All these years, alive. Haldir stopped , sinking to his knees. He could not go on.
Rúmil and Orophin hurried after Haldir, dropping out of the trees to run silently to his side when he fell to his knees. They knelt next to him.
"We will find him, Haldir." Orophin said, gripping Haldir's shoulder. Haldir sat back on his heels, his eyes closed, his face drawn.
"You could not have prevented it, Haldir. Or known he was alive, none of us knew." Rúmil leaned over to look at him, but Haldir did not open his eyes.
Haldir ran a shaking hand over his face, struggling to control the emotions, the anger. He knew his brothers were only trying to comfort him, their own thoughts must be scattered as well. But he could not push away the thought of his father, a slave. For thousands of years. What would he be like now? Would he be able to return to even a ghost of the elf Haldir had known before? Haldir's mind was fraught with worry, fear. The thoughts brought turmoil, doubts about his own strength. It overwhelmed him.
Tári walked slowly toward the three elves, ignoring her aunt's advice to leave him alone. She could sense the torment he was feeling. She could not stay away. She circled around the three, and stepped in front of Haldir, kneeling before him.
"I had hoped the news would give you joy, Haldir. But I sense I have brought you only torment. I am sorry." She said quietly, glancing at Rúmil. He shook his head. "He can be found, Haldir."
"Found? Tári, he is not a lost puppy, or a child lost in the woods. He was a grown elf. Taken by elves who do not know the word pity, or kindness. What has he had to endure? Is there anything left of the elf I once knew, and loved? If we find him, will it be for naught?"
Tári reached out to touch him, but Haldir drew back, his eyes dark. She pulled her hand back, frowning. He stood up and pulled her beside him.
"We shall find him, whether he wishes it or no. I will see him once more. I will send the others back with Orophin."
Orophin and Rúmil had stood up, and Orophin's chin rose quickly, his eyes flashing. He stepped in front of Haldir.
"I am going with you, Haldir."
"I need you to lead the others to Lorien." Haldir said, glaring at his brother.
Orophin clenched his jaw. "I will not. He is my father as well. I will go." He stepped closer to Haldir and the two brothers stared at one another angrily.
Rúmil pushed them apart. "We will all go, to Lothlórien first, to gather supplies. And then to the drow world. The Lady will want to know. A few more days Haldir, will make no difference to our father." Orophin nodded in agreement, eyes still locked with Haldir's. Haldir's lips tightened, but he nodded curtly. He turned and strode off further into the trees.
Tári stared after him, and Orophin wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "He will be all right. It is something he needs to work out in his mind, Tári. It is not you. Although Haldir was young when father was taken, he has always felt partly responsible. It is something he has never given up. This has brought it all back."
* *
The elves made their way into the Golden Wood, a long line of weary travelers wending their way among the trees. Haldir strode in front, silent, his expression impassive. He had not spoken to Tári since the day before. He knew he was hurting her. She blamed herself. But he could not approach her. The pain in his heart was still too strong, the worry, the fear. He could not let her see him that way. He stopped when a warden dropped down from the trees in front of him, a few steps away.
The warden bowed, saluting with his hand over his heart. "Welcome home, March Warden. The Lady awaits your arrival."
Haldir nodded brusquely, and strode ahead. Rúmil and Orophin paused beside the warden, who looked at each elf curiously.
"He is withdrawn. What has happened?" The warden asked.
Rúmil sighed. "He has received some news that shadows his heart. Take the Laiquendi as the Lady wills. Orophin and I must catch up with Haldir." The warden nodded and bowed slightly, watching the two brothers sprint up the trail after Haldir.
Tári watched them leave with a heavy heart. This had not gone as she expected. She thought he would be happy, or at least thankful. But he had not said a word to her, or to anyone since that day. She was getting tired of his gloominess. He was a bad as Windred lately. She lifted her chin, narrowing her eyes. He was going to talk to her, whether he liked it or not. He was going to find he was not the only bully. She smiled to herself at that thought, and stepped further down the trail, with a lighter step.
* *
Orophin crossed the bridge, Rúmil and his attempts to speak to Haldir had not gone well. The stubborn elf had retreated inside himself, and nothing they could say would change it until Haldir made that decision. Orophin had seen it too many times. He sighed, knowing the torment that it was causing Tári. He hoped she would understand. He sprinted up the steps toward his talan, his thoughts distracting him, when he was nearly knocked off his feet by a bundle of white hair and gray silk fabric.
He wrapped his arms around the maiden who had flown so brutally into his arms, laughing at the furious expression on her face. He spun around, staggering against the railing. He pulled Aranel into his embrace, gripping the chin that suddenly quivered.
"I see you are glad to see me, Aranel. Did you miss me?"
Aranel fought back the wash of hot tears that threatened to spill, scowling at the warden. "Miss you? Why should I miss you? You left me without hardly saying goodbye!"
Orophin frowned, "I am sorry, but it was not my choice, 'Nel." He grinned, pulling her hard against him. "But I am back now."
Aranel pushed away, scowling worse. "Back, but not for long! I hear you are leaving again! To go into the underworld. Have you lost your mind?"
Orophin sighed, reaching out to grip Aranel's chin again. "Aye, I must leave again. My father lives, Aranel. We must find him, and bring him home. I fear for Haldir's sanity if we do not. You must understand."
Aranel couldn't stop the tears that seeped out of her dark brown eyes. "But you just arrived. Can you not wait at least a few days?"
Orophin shook his head, and gathered her into his arms. He rested his head on the white hair, running his hand through the long silken tresses. "Nay, we cannot. But you will stay with me until I leave." He slid his hands around her face and brushed his lips across hers softly.
* *
Keliar strode along the walkways. They would not stay long and the urge to see a particular Lothlórien maiden was foremost in his mind at the moment. He didn't have to travel far before he saw her. She was hurrying up the stairs below him, her skirts lifted high around her ankles. Her gaze swept up to him and she waved, smiling.
"Keliar, I feared I would never see you again." Brenna gasped when they met on the walkway. She smiled when Keliar lifted her fingers, kissing them lightly.
"Aye, my thoughts as well, dear Brenna." He smiled down at her, his brown eyes twinkling. "But I fear my stay is not long."
Brenna pouted, her lips pursing. "I have heard, it is the talk of the city. I cannot imagine what is going through Haldir's mind. Or his brothers for that matter. You will go with them?"
Keliar nodded. "I must, for Tári's sake." He tucked Brenna's hand in his arm, strolling along the walkway. "Haldir has been distant since he found out. I do not know what to think."
Brenna's eyes grew sad. "It was an awful time for them, Keliar, when they returned without Halcyon. Haldir was devastated. It took him years to put it behind him. I think it's what drives him so hard, why he became so aloof."
Keliar nodded. "It must have been a difficult time. But it has made the brothers close."
Brenna smiled. "Aye, no three are closer than they. Haldir helped his mother raise them, although he was not that much older. They have been a trial for him sometimes, as he was to his mother. Do not think he was an innocent young elf. He got into as much trouble as his brothers." She laughed quietly. "But I have not come to speak about Haldir with you." She gripped his arm and Keliar smiled, his eyes lighting up.
* *
Tári sat on a step on the stair, watching the elves go about their daily rituals. Some glanced curiously up at her, seeing her sitting alone. The flash of white hair once in a while made her smile, her people would become part of Galadriel's. Still Laiquendi, always that. But hopefully they would help strengthen the Galadhrim with their numbers. It would be up to Haldir to choose whether he would allow the sentinels of the Laiquendi to guard his borders among his wardens.
Would he allow her? What was going to be her role? She leaned her chin onto her palm. He still hadn't spoken to her. Didn't he realize she could sense his emotions? She knew why he avoided her. He was too proud. She had brought back old memories, old fears resurfacing, making him doubt himself. So unlike him. She couldn't let him go on, but how to approach him? She'd thought to bully her way, forcing him to listen. But he was stubborn, and she didn't want to ruin anything with heated words.
They had one night before they left again, but she doubted he would rest. She saw Keliar and Brenna pass below her, intent on each other. Well, that was a relief. Her mentor had been quiet the journey here. He must be concerned about his own role. But perhaps not, Keliar was always one to adjust easily to any situation. He would make the best of what came to him, he always did.
Rúmil ran up the steps below her, and paused seeing her sitting on the stair. He turned, leaping gracefully up the steps toward her. Tári smiled when he reached her, sitting down next to her on the step.
"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her.
"I should ask if you are all right, Rúmil." Tári said quietly, studying the elf beside her. "You and Orophin do not seem as distraught as Haldir." She picked at the fabric on her knees, and Rúmil laid his hand over her fingers.
"Nay, we are not. Halcyon was Haldir's idol. He and Father were very close. We were very young then. Perhaps an unwise decision on father's part to bring us all on his journey. But then we did not interest the drow. They did." Rúmil folded his arms around his knees, looking out over the city. "He will come around, you must have patience."
Tári frowned. "It is very difficult, Rúmil. I can sense what he feels. More so in him than you."
Rúmil laughed quietly. "That is because you have joined with him, Tári." He grinned at her blush. "Do not think Orophin and I did not know. We can see the signs in Haldir, and you. You are one among a very few he has let close to his heart. He needs you."
Tári looked away, the sudden rush of tears blurring her vision. She couldn't be weak, but they spilled over and she hid her face in her knees. Rúmil's arms wrapped around her, but he said nothing. She took several deep breaths, and sat up, wiping the tears away with the heel of her hand.
"I'm all right, Rúmil." She said, her voice firm. Rúmil sighed quietly.
"You are strong, Tári. I wished to see Cirion before we left again, have you seen her?"
Tári laughed. "Aye, she's been moping about, thinking you were leaving without saying good-bye. She is down among the Laiquendi tents, the one with the green banner."
Rúmil rose, gripping Tári's hand and pulling her to her feet. "I will seek her out. You have one night before we journey into the darkness. What we find there none of us will know. Haldir has hidden himself in a place he goes when he is distressed. No one knows of it but Orophin and I. And now you." He whispered into her ear and Tári smiled.
* *
Haldir leaned against the boulder. The sky above him was clear of tree branches, allowing the light of the moon to wash the area around him with moonlight. Blue shadows darkened the edge of the trees around him, and the leaves rustled in the slight breeze, the sound nearly drowned out by the gurgling of the small stream beside him. The stream pooled here, among the large rocks, to tumble over the rough stone into another pool below him, to meander quietly from there. It eventually trickled into Galadriel's bower, and from there out of the city again, into the Nimrodel. He stared up at the sky, staring at the moon that hung over the city. Would he see it again?
"Does it give you the answers you seek?" Tári asked from behind him.
Haldir smiled, having heard her approach. He didn't move. "Nay."
Tári stepped around him, keeping her distance, studying him. "It hurts me to see you like this, Haldir."
He frowned, glancing at her. She sensed too much. Tári crouched down, picking up a few small rocks, tossing them in her hand.
"You are getting as bad as Windred. You'd make quite a pair. Two gloomy, pessimistic, depressing elves." Tári grumbled, and smiled, seeing the irritated glance he gave her.
"I am not gloomy."
Tári snorted, earning her a raised eyebrow. "Well, what are you then? Why do you let your fears control you now? You have not before. You must look beyond them, Haldir. Don't you understand? You've defeated them, twice now. You are much stronger than your father was."
Haldir closed his eyes. Perhaps if he ignored her she would leave. A rock hitting his forehead made him open his eyes, and he glared at her, rubbing the spot where it had hit him. Tári was staring at him, her eyes compassionate, but resolute.
"You can't just sit there and ignore me." She growled, bouncing another rock in her hand. "If you close your eyes again, I will hit you harder."
Haldir's eyes narrowed. "If you throw that at me, warden, you will be sure to regret it."
Tári smiled. "Oh? And what will you do, March Warden? You cannot place me on watch, or some other punishment you place on your wardens. We leave in the morning, and I am coming with you, whether you like it or want it. You are being foolish."
Haldir moved slightly, his eyes gleaming with annoyance. "Foolish? You have no idea what thoughts lie in my head."
Tári glared at him. "No, I don't. But I can sense your emotions, Haldir. Put aside your blame. You could not have stopped what happened. It was the will of the Valar. If your father is anything like you, he will have survived. Inside him will be the core of the elf you knew. Stop tormenting yourself that he will be no more. You must trust me, I am certain of this."
Haldir stood up in a fluid motion, gripping Tári as he did so, lifting her off her feet. She clutched the front of his tunic when he pulled her close to him, her eyes flashing in annoyance.
"Maybe Windred is right. You are a bit too domineering, Haldir. Put me down."
Haldir smiled, his eyes glinting. "No."
Tári gripped his tunic tighter, his grasp on her arms had moved to her waist, pulling her against him. This was what she wanted wasn't it? No, not in this way. She slid her hands around his neck, pulling herself tighter to him. "I am not going to go away. You can push me away all you want, Haldir. But I will be here, only a few steps away. I am not going to let you go."
Haldir tightened his grip on her waist, staring into the large brown eyes that met his so fearlessly. Mouse. He had to laugh, she was far from the timid creature she was named for. Small perhaps, but a bundle of energy and determination. That emotion sparkled in her eyes now, stubborn determination to make him open his eyes. Aye, he'd been gloomy. She was right. He'd let his memories of that dark time overwhelm him.
"I am sorry, Tári," he said quietly.
"For what? For remembering? It is not your fault, Haldir." Tári whispered, sliding her hands to his cheeks when he set her on her feet. "We will find him, and bring him home. Home to Lothlórien where he belongs."
Haldir sighed, pulling Tári against him gently this time, wrapping his arms around her back. He rested his chin on the top of her head, feeling her twist her fingers into his tunic. The faint shudder that went through her made him frown, and he reached down to grip her chin to look at her.
"Do not cry, Tári," he whispered when she looked up, the dark brown eyes glistened with moisture. He smiled when she twisted her mouth, fighting the emotion. She blinked several times, but a tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, and he caught the drop as it rolled down her cheek with his thumb. "I did not mean to distress you so. It was unwarranted. You have my permission to take me to task when my.. er.gloominess gets the upper hand."
Tári stared at him through the haze of moisture that blurred her vision of him. "I get to take you to task?" She grinned at the smile that crossed his face.
"Aye, but not in front of anyone. I allow you an honor no one has over me, except perhaps Galadriel." He gripped her face, forcing her to look up at him. "But only regarding my gloominess."
Tári's eyes twinkled. "Ah, but perhaps my definition of gloominess is different from yours. And what, pray, do I get to do about it?"
Haldir released her, one long brow arched over the grey eyes. "Do? Well, there are a few things I can think of." He grinned.
Tári smiled, reaching up to slide her hands around his neck, slipping them into his hair. She hugged him, feeling his arms wrap around her. He held her for along moment, then nuzzled his chin into her neck, sending a shiver down her back.
"Oh, and one more thing, Mouse." He whispered into her ear, nipping at the tip. "If you pull my hair again, I will tie you to a tree, or rock or whatever and leave you for the spiders." He laughed when she gasped, pulling away from him.
"Spiders? Don't tell me there are going to be spiders!"
* *
The Laiquendi were settled, and Lord Tathar sprinted up the steps to Galadriel's audience chamber. He strode onto the platform, noting that Haldir and his brothers stood there already, their faces grim. He knew what they were heading into. It was not going to be a pleasant journey. He nodded as the three bowed to him, and turned to wait. Keliar arrived a moment later with Tári. Her eyes swept to Haldir, their eyes meeting, and she smiled. Tathar sighed in relief, at least that was taken care of.
Galadriel and Celeborn glided down the steps, halting in front of Tathar. Celeborn reached out, gripping Tathar's shoulder.
"It is good to see you stand once more before us, Tathar, although the cause is not one I would wish on anyone." Celeborn's eyes were dark with concern as he met Tathar's gaze. His eyes swept down to Tári.
"You will have to go, Tári. Your sense of danger will be what protects them the most. Tiernan knows of the underworld and its dangers. There is more than the drow who reside there. You will have to keep your senses sharp."
Tári nodded, feeling her father grip her elbow. "I understand, Lord Celeborn. I will do what I can." Celeborn nodded and stepped back when Galadriel touched his arm. She reached out to grip Tári's chin.
"You are strong of mind, Tári. You must be strong of heart as well. I see many paths before you. Think carefully on what you choose and where it may lead you. Haldir and you have connected here, you will need his strength to face the dark of the world below. He will need your strength to fight the demons that dwell now in his mind." Galadriel looked pointedly at Haldir. His eyes narrowed, and his chin rose slightly, but he smiled. She released Tári and stepped back.
"The journey will be long. Supplies have been gathered. We dare not send a large party. The fewer you are, the better chance of remaining undetected. Tathar has agreed to send Keliar with you, Haldir. As well as Tári, of course. You will go with Rúmil and Orophin. I take a great chance, Haldir. I suffer the loss of three of my most valued wardens if you should fail. I expect you to return."
Haldir bowed slightly, his hand over his heart. "I will return, my lady, as will the others."
* *
They led Tiernan out, still bound, to where Haldir stood waiting. The drow stared at the March Warden, his face pale. Haldir reached down, pulling a knife from his boot, and turned him around, cutting the elven rope that bound his wrists.
"I must learn to trust you, Tiernan. I hold you to an honor you may never have had, that you will lead us safely to your home, and return. If any harm comes to any of my party through a fault of yours, you will wish the drow had you instead of me." He turned away, glancing at Rúmil.
Tiernan stared at Haldir, rubbing his wrists. Rúmil stepped beside him, and Tiernan nodded. Windred hurried up to him, gripping his sleeve. They stared at one another for a long moment.
"You will return?" She asked quietly.
Tiernan frowned. "Why? I am not part of this world, Windred. I have no place here."
Windred closed her eyes for moment, then glanced at Rúmil. He stepped back, bowing slightly. "You have a place here if you so choose, Tiernan. Your can show them, if you lead them well," she whispered.
Tiernan sighed quietly. "You dream, Windred. I will lead them, yes. I have no choice, or my life is forfeit. Do not think I do not hear the threat the March Warden speaks. But I will guide them, because I want to. My mind has been opened, Windred. The Lady has shown me. But I am afraid."
Windred smiled, her fingers tightening on his sleeve. "Bring them back, Tiernan. All of them, and your place here is assured. I know what lies in your heart, it echoes in mine. Will you forsake a second chance?"
Tiernan gripped her fingers, a soft smile playing over his mouth. "I do not forsake it, Windred. Pray that the Valar, the gods of this surface world . . . " he drew a deep breath, then went on, "pray that the Valar's grace will be with us. We will need it."