Title: Of A Past Forgotten
Warnings: yaoi, possible lemon, lime, we'll see as we go, oh and yeah, something I forgot to mention in the last chapter, there is slight AU- in the fact that I totally screwed with duo's past, which was kindly pointed out by Super Poodle, arigatou! So, pleeze don't shout cause I've warned you now about it, and remember: guy on guy action and fluffiness (hopefully- I try my best) if you don't like it, pleeze don't read!
Disclaimer: I don't own them alright, pleeze don't sue, I'm using them for my own twisted fantasies! Someday, I'll have enough money to buy it… heeheehee- first thing is relena gets squished by wing zero and heero and duo proclaim their undying love for each other *sigh* but until then, I can only dream. Oh, and I don't own Pink's 'Lonely Girl' either, its just a really good song that I lurve.
A/N: I still don't know what's happening, but I'll just write and see how it goes. In this chapter, we are introduced to the different voices in Duo's and Heero's heads. (hey, everyone's got 'em, me especially). Oh, and the song that is the inspiration for this chapter is Pink's 'Lonely Girl.' Yeah, so here's my thank you's:
Super Poodle: yeah, um, I do know about Duo's past, soooo sorry, but I purposely changed it to suit my own needs; I just forgot to put it in the warnings. Glad you like the fic anyway, here's the next part!
Romennar:: arigatou! I like cuteness too myself!
Kaori-chan: I'm updating now, sorry it's taken so long, but I'm glad you like it so far, pleeze let me know what you think of this chapter.
Violet_eyes: yes, I'm continuing see? And don't worry, I prefer puppy-dog eyes to glares ^_^
Kuro Sora: oooo, your review was sooo nice, I lurved it soo much, arigatou! Oh, gomen about making you cry, pleeze don't, see, it gets better!
Du-kun: thank you, glad you like the darkness, I'm trying to get a nice balance of darkness but niceness at the same time, let me know if it's good or not!
Anyway, on with the show!
"test" = speaking out loud
'text' = speaking in head-voices
~*~*~ =scene change
/\/\/\/\/\/ = dream
CHAPTER 2: Lonely Boy
I can remember/
The very first time I cried/
How I wiped my eyes/
And buried the pain inside. /
All of my memories/
Good and bad that's passed/
Didn't even take the time to realize. /
Staring at the cracks in the walls/
Cause I'm waiting for it all to come to an end. /
Still I curl up right under the bed/
Cause it's takin' over my head/
All over again. //
The lightening flashed, followed shortly by the bang of thunder, as two amethyst eyes suddenly opened, pupils widening in the darkness.
'God damn it, I hate that dream,' Duo thought turning on his back to sit up.
He had barely raised his head when it hit a wooden surface above him with a whack! Quickly, Duo lay back down, rubbing his head.
"Fuck!" he cursed aloud, "Where the hell am I?"
It took him a few minutes to realise that he was under his bed, clutching a pillow to his chest for dear life. Silently, he cursed again, and was about to roll out from under the bed, when suddenly, there was a crash of thunder from outside.
His body reacted instantly, curling up into a small ball around the pillow, a small whimper escaping from his lips.
While his body remained paralysed in this position, his mind raged out against his instincts.
'What the fuck is this!? What is wrong with you Duo, you shouldn't be affected by these stupid nightmares!'
'Ah, but these aren't nightmares, they're memories,' another voice answered. This one was more childish and innocent.
'Shut up!' the angry voice of Shinigami roared, 'Come on Duo, snap out of it! This is weak, this is pathetic! You're a big boy now!'
'Yes,' the sweet voice answered, 'and boys don't cry, they remain strong, but we have to stay here until the noise is gone, until it's safe, we have to live.'
Shinigami was about to reply, when Duo was suddenly pulled from his paralysis by the sound of his door being opened and footsteps on the floorboards up to his bed.
He heard his bedcovers being pulled back, and then a voice call out, "Duo?" softly and emotionlessly.
"I'm under here Heero," Duo muttered angrily, knowing Heero could hear him all the same, no matter how low he spoke.
The other person got down on his knees and looked under the bed.
"What are you doing there?" he asked in his monotone voice, as cobalt eyes clashed with amethyst.
"I was, er, looking for, em, this!" Duo exclaimed triumphantly, holding up a tape he had suddenly spotted.
"Why do you have your pillow with you?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What is this, twenty questions? Its to lean on, the floorboards are cold, and I am only wearing boxers," Duo replied indignantly.
He rolled quickly out from under the bed, plastering a big grin on his face as he stood up, and throwing his pillow and tape on the bed, turned back to Heero, who was gazing at him with, what… lust?
'No way,' Duo thought, mentally smacking himself, 'Heero doesn't feel anything for you, not even friendship, does the term 'perfect soldier' ring a bell? Sheesh, don't be getting your hopes up.'
Quickly, he let his gaze sweep over Heero's body. He was wearing a green tank top and those damned black spandex shorts.
'BORING!' his mind screamed out, this time it was neither Shinigami, nor that sweet voice, it was Duo Maxwell, fashion critic.
'However, those shorts do show off his ass perfectly, mmm, delicious," the voice belonging to his romance/desire slurred lustfully.
Duo smacked himself again, and shook his head, suddenly realising that Heero was staring at him, confused and slightly angry.
"Sorry," Duo apologised, "I was thinking of something else. What is it you want?"
'You,' was the thought that raged through Heero's mind, yet he pushed the urge to jump on top of Duo and glomp him away, and concentrated on why he had come in, which was…em… he didn't exactly know, so said the first thing that came into his mind.
"I came to see how you were," he said quickly.
He was in fact, telling the truth. Heero knew for a fact that Duo hadn't been looking for that tape, that he actually slept underneath the bed on some nights, mainly during a storm or after they had a mission. And how did Heero know all this? DUH! Because he checked in on Duo every night before he went to bed, just to gaze at him lovingly before silently bidding him goodnight, so of course he'd notice that Duo slept under the bed every now and then. He'd never done anything before, but now he was getting worried and decided to find the source of this problem- well what he assumed was a problem.
Duo felt a tiny twinge of hope when he heard an almost caring tone in Heero's voice.
"Really? What for?" he asked, looking at Heero hopefully.
"Well, you know, you said you hurt your arm today during the mission," Heero said monotonely, while his mind screamed in outrage, 'that's not true! Liar! You didn't want to ask about that!'
"Oh…" Duo murmured, disappointment flickering on his face, before the joker's mask slipped on again.
He shrugged, flexing his arm, saying, "It's fine, no biggy. Hey, what doesn't kill ya only makes ya stronger."
'I wish,' mourned the voice of the pessimist in his head.
"Alright then. Goodnight," Heero muttered quickly, and hurried out of the room, while Duo smacked his head, muttering, "Stupid, stupid baka."
'See what I mean about getting your hopes up?' the pessimistic voice muttered, as Duo climbed into bed.
'Oh shut up!' Shinigami shouted, clearly fed up.
'Yeah, I bet he really does care, I can tell,' the optimistic voice cried out brightly.
Duo threw his head down onto the bed and shouted, "Oh shut up, the lot of ye!" aloud into the pillow.
There was an instant silence, broken only by the faint humming of a forgotten tune by the sweet voice, that led Duo into a deep slumber for the rest of the night, the nearby banging of a door, barely registering in his mind.
~*~*~*~
Closing Duo's door behind him, Heero sighed and angrily stalked across the hall into his room.
'Chicken,' a young, childish voice teased from the back of his mind.
"I'm not," Heero muttered, eyes blazing.
'Yes you are, you're acting weak,' the voice of the perfect soldier quipped emotionlessly.
"I am NOT!" Heero yelled, slamming his door.
'Then why did you lie?' the perfect soldier asked.
'Because he can't be asking Duo something, so, well… personal,' a polite voice answered carefully. This was Heero's humanity, which did make itself known every now and then, despite being extremely timid.
'What do you mean, personal?' the childish voice sneered, tone dripping with sarcasm.
'I mean, he doesn't know Duo well enough, and besides, what would you say Heero, when Duo asks you how you know he sleeps under the bed, eh?' his humanity asked, gaining a bit of confidence.
"I don't know," Heero sighed, "What should I do?"
'Become friends with him,' his humanity answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
'W-WHAT!' the soldier chocked, emotion registering for the first time in his voice, and it was panicked, 'You can't become friends with him, you'll become weak, he'll be a liability, I forbid it!'
'Oh be quiet,' the optimistic voice chirped, 'so, come on, this is a good idea, I say you do it.'
"But how?" Heero sighed, aggravated and frustrated, "How can I become friends with the person I love? Don't you know what'll happen?"
'You'll love him even more,' his humanity replied simply.
"Exactly," Heero muttered, getting changed into a pair of baggy navy tracksuit bottoms (oh god, heero- topless and baggy bottoms on *drool*) and crawling into bed, "That's a bad thing. He'll never love me back."
'Oh, you never know,' his romantic side sighed, speaking for the first time that night, 'I think he loves you.'
'You do?' his humanity and optimistic side squealed, 'me too!' (I know, I know, they are all like a bunch of over-excited girls or something! ^_^V)
The perfect soldier sighed in annoyance, and settled into a meditation until the next mission.
"I don't think this is such a good idea," Heero muttered, staring up at the ceiling.
'Nonsense!' his romantic side cried, 'If you want to get closer to him and find out what is going on, you have to do this. Are we clear?'
"Oh, fine then," Heero gave in, turning onto his side.
There were squeals and cries of triumph and delight from the voices in his head.
"Shut it!" Heero roared angrily.
Blissful silence filled his head.
Smiling, he said, "Thank you," and drifted off to sleep, to hopefully dream of his longhaired, amethyst-eyed love, who had brought so much light to his life.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ (alright, this is when it gets freaky and confusing)
"Do you even know who you are anymore?"
"I guess not…"
A bright light erupted from behind Duo and he turned to see what it was. He gasped and took an involuntary step back, as he gazed a seven versions of himself, except each was different from the others.
The first was him as a small child, with big bright eyes full of mirth, wearing scruffy clothes, his braid halfway down his back. The next looked just like Duo as he was now, except he was full of energy and confidence, dressed in a black pilot's space suit, an extremely beautiful black and silver scythe in his hands and a sadistic smirk on his face. Beside him was another replica, except this one was wearing a red shirt and black leather trousers, and he was holding a single red rose, with a dreamy look in his eyes: very ott (over the top) and Duo-like when it cam to love. Next was another Duo, except he looked extremely weary and depressed, sitting down on the floor, tear-stained, cold eyes hidden under ragged bangs. Beside him was Duo again, except he was the total opposite to the last one: he was grinning manically and was jumping slightly and giggling softly, his eyes lit up with happiness. After him, was another Duo wearing the coolest clothes Duo had ever seen: tight, black leather trousers, which flared out slightly at the end, doc martins that clung to his legs up to his knees, an open white shirt with a tight black tank top underneath and a waist-length leather jacket over that, with tinted shades resting an his nose. (this has to be my favourite Duo ^_^) Lastly, there was a Duo-like figure, except he was cloaked in black, and wore a joker's mask, which was partially hidden by the large hood over his head. Duo shivered and he was chilled to the bone, as he recognised the mask he often wore every day.
"Who are you?" he whispered.
"We are you," the young child chirped up, his sweet voice reminding Duo of those…
"Voices!" he cried out, "You're those voices in my head!"
"Yes," the sadistic one smirked, "We are the voices of the different parts of you. I am-"
"Wait, wait!" Duo interrupted, "I wanna guess!"
The sadistic Duo frowned at the young child beside him, who blinked and smiled sweetly back.
"Are you messing with him again?" he growled.
"Nope, of course not," the child replied innocently, but Duo could see a glint of mischievousness in his eyes.
Grinning eh knelt in front of the young child and put a hand on his shoulder.
"You're like my, um, inner child, right?" he asked.
The young child smiled, his face lit up with happiness and he nodded vigorously, as Duo moved to the sadistic version of himself. Slowly, he looked him up and down: the cocky stance, the scythe, the scars, the sadistic smirk…
"Let me see," Duo mused, "you're Shinigami, the pilot?"
"The one and only," Shinigami replied with a wink, and Duo grinned as he moved on.
"Hmm…with that rose, plus the dreamy look in your eyes, I'm thinking romance/ desire?" Duo asked the almost swooning one.
"Oh, you're right, I'm so glad we're finally meeting, we've got a lot of work to do."
"Work?" Duo asked, raising and eyebrow.
"Oh yes, getting Heero and telling him how you feel, and oh, of course, the seduction," he added huskily, with a wink.
"Whatever you say Cassanova, except for the fact that Heero doesn't like me," Duo replied with a shrug.
"That's exactly what I've been trying to tell him, it's hopeless," the depressed Duo moaned, burying his head in his hands.
"Oh, nonsense!" the grinning Duo giggled, "I totally agree with romance, we've got to get Heero and right now. Don't let that moanbag get you down-"
"Hey, it's my job!" the depressed Duo shouted, then sunk back down into a miserable silence.
"Whatever," the cheerful Duo sighed, "Now, as I was saying, don't get all depressy, have a bit of faith- I truly believe that Heero likes you."
"Thanks," Duo chuckled, "and let me guess- optimistic and pessimistic?"
"Of course," optimistic grinned.
Duo moved onto the sixth version of himself, the one wearing the cool clothes.
"I love the threads man, actually, I think I have an outfit like that."
"Of course," the cool Duo grinned, rolling his eyes, "Why do you think I picked it out?"
"So, you're like, my cool conscience, or fashion guide?"
"Both actually, at your service," Cool replied, with a wink.
Duo's grin faded as he moved onto the final version of himself- the one clothed in black with the joker's mask on, and he gulped as he asked nervously, "You're my shield, aren't you? The mask I put on everyday."
The joker Duo nodded slowly and silently. (ooo, kinda like the ghost of Christmas past, creepy…)
"Why don't you speak?" Duo asked, gaining a bit of confidence.
"Because he can't," the child answered, "You speak for him, he is merely a wall you hide behind."
"But how-"
"Duo?"
Duo whipped around at the sound of the oh-so-familiar voice, but no, I couldn't be him, could it?
'It is you,' he gasped, as the figure emerged from the shadows.
It was Heero, in all his glory, wearing only a pair of baggy tracksuit bottoms. It was all Duo could do to prevent himself from drooling, and distantly, he could hear his romance give a small moan of desire.
Suddenly though, behind Heero, appeared seven versions of him, walking in a line.
First was a small child, with big cobalt eyes and a soft, genuine smile on his lips. Next, came Heero as he was now, except he was in his pilots suit, an emotionless expression on his face, and a gun, cocked, held in his hand. After him was a Heero dressed in tight-fitting black slacks and a deep blue, partially buttoned shirt, a small package in his hands. Next was a weary and depressed Heero, walking with his shoulders slumped, and then a bouncy and bright Heero who was beaming and giggling. Beside these two opposites cam Heero dressed in his typical tank top and shorts, except there was something different- his eyes were filled with warmth, and his face with various emotions. Lastly, came a Heero, who looked more like a robot- dressed in flowing white robes, and carrying a glass box, within which there was a heart.
"Heya Hee-chan, I didn't know you had voices too!" Duo cried, as Heero stopped in front of him.
"Hn, baka! How did you know I have voices?" Heero asked, slightly panicked and surprised.
"Well, they are right there," Duo replied, pointing behind Heero.
"Really?" Heero smiled whipping around to face them, "Wow! You're real!"
"Would you stop messing with him!" the emotionless, gun-whielding Heero shouted at the child.
"Hey, you mess with him everyday, I want a go!" the child retorted, "and besides, humanity boy is messing with him too," he added defensively, pointing down to the second-last Heero, who raised his hands saying, "Hey, this is just a dream, so we get to do what we want."
"Hey he, no fighting!" Duo cried, "Besides, I wanna guess who you are," he giggled, "Hee-chan, you can go introduce yourself to my voices."
Heero nodded, then turned to Duo's voices who waved and smiled in greeting while Duo skipped up to Heero's voices.
"Let's see now, inner child," he announced, kneeling in front of the small child.
"Of course," the child giggled, "it is kind of obvious."
"Suppose so," Duo grinned, moving onto the soldier Heero, "And it is also kind of obvious that you good sir, are the perfect soldier."
The perfect soldier gave a short nod and a 'Hn.'
"Typical," Duo muttered, rolling his eyes and moving on.
He studied the next Heero carefully; the nice, but casual clothes, the far-off look, the gift, the smiled and said, "You wouldn't be Heero's romantic side, would you?"
The third Heero gave an approving smile and a courtly bow, proclaiming, "But of course my dear gentleman, why, who else would I be?"
"Hm, that's a good question, I just never thought Heero had a romantic side."
"Well, I'm one of the secret, hidden voices," Romance winked, "Not the most secret, but damn close."
"Who's the most secret?" Duo asked, curiousity bubbling up.
"Oh, you'll meet him soon enough, please; continue."
Duo smiled and nodded, moving down the line.
"Yo! Optim and Pessim, keep up the good work," he shouted, giving a thimbs-up sign to the two voices as he passed onto the sixth voice, who greeted him with a small wave.
"Hm, you're a toughy," Duo muttered, leaning in close to look him over: the nervous, innocent smile, the warm, trusting eyes, the rising emotions and air of confidence…
Suddenly Duo gasped, his eyes widening and he smiled in joy.
"You're his humanity," he whispered in amazement.
The nervous smile grew into a wide, beaming one, as the voice nodded, "Yup, I'm the most secret one, though there are one or two times I get a bit of a say in things," he replied with a wink.
"I knew you existed, I just knew it!" Duo cried in wonder, "Well, it was great to meet you."
"Yeah, you too," Humanity answered, and Duo moved onto the last voice.
He peered closely into the glass box, then looked over the robes and the blank, expressionless eyes.
"White robes, hmm, total opposite to me," Duo murmured, "You're his shield aren't you? You're what he hides behind everyday?" he questioned gently.
The robe-clad Heero nodded solemnly, and Duo gave him a soft smile and a pat on the shoulder, before turning back to Heero who was bekoning him to move over to the side. As he did, the scene changed, and they were suddenly standing in a park with the sun shining beside the lake, as the two rows of voices moved towards each other to greet each other. The two children waved, then suddenly, ChibiDuo gave ChibiHeero a a push, shouting, "TAG, YOU'RE IT!" and ran off, with a giggling Heero following. Shinigami smirked at the Perfect Soldier, tipping his scythe at him, while the Perfect Soldier glared back, giving a short nod. The romantic Heero gave Romantic Duo the package, receiving the rose in return. They smiled and thanked each other, blushing slightly. The two optimistics gave each other a high-five, giggling, while the two pessimistics just groaned, shaking their heads. Heero's humanity and Duo's cool grinned at each other, shaking hands, then Cool tutted and announced, "I have got to get some good clothes on you, then you will definitely be set."
"Thanks, I'd like that," Humanity grinned.
Heero and Duo's shields simply nodded solemnly, as silent as ever.
"Hey Hee-chan, do you've any idea what's going on?" Duo whispered, ogling at the scene infront of him.
"Not a clue, and it's Heero."
"But Hee-chan suits you so well," Duo pouted.
Heero felt himself melt under those puppy-dog eyes, but managed to stay composed and muttered, "Omae o korosuo."
"That perfect soldier's at you again," Duo growled, "Well, I'm getting some answers. Hey guys! Come on, we need some info here!"
"Yeah, why are we meeting you an why now?" Heero added.
"Well, I guess it's because you're ready, and you're talking to us, so it was easier for us to reveal us to you two here," Humanity answered.
"Yeah, what's up with this place anyway? Why did it change?" Duo asked.
"Oh, this is the sanctuary, where shared and repeating dreams happen, and it can change to any scenery, this happens to be a favourite of mine actually," Cool smiled.
"But why did you reveal yourselves to us?" Heero asked persistently.
"In all honesty, we don't know. But we do know that there is something between you," romantic Duo answered.
"Well, whenever you figure it out, give me a call, I'm going to sleep," Duo yawned.
"Me too," Heero sleepily agreed.
The two lay down beside each other, unconsciously snuggling close together, disappearing into dreamless sleep. When they were gone, the group split up. Wordlessly, the two shields held hands and went off walking together, while the two children swam in the lake splashing each other and laughing. Cool immediately, dragged Humanity off to one side near a tree, and snapped his fingers. A wardrobe appeared out of nowhere, and he set to work; pulling out all sorts of outfits, ordering humanity to, "try on this… no no, this is better…"
"So, you like the killing?" Shinigami asked.
"It has to be done to complete the mission," the Perfect Soldier answered monotonely.
"Oh come on, admit it, you enjoy it," Shinigami winked playfully.
The Perfect Soldier muttered, "I suppose I do."
"Heehee, I KNEW IT! Me too!" Shinigami cried.
"So, yeah, is that hard to use?" The Perfect Soldier asked, pointing the scythe.
"What, this?" Shinigami questioned in surprise, holding up the scythe, "Nah, it's easy to use. Wanna swap weapons?"
The Perfect Soldier nodded, and they swapped weapons moving off, so that Shinigami could practise on different targets and the Perfect Soldier could grasp the movements of the scythe.
"There! It's perfect!" Cool announced, stepping back from Humanity, who was now dressed in baggy black trousers, a tight, deep blue tanktop, a black and blue loose, open shirt and a pair of doc martins.
Cool flopped down on the grass, leaning back against the tree, and Humanity leaned down to whisper "Thank you very much," in his ear.
Cool shivered and, grabbing Humanity around the waist, pulled him, giggling down on top of his lap.
"You know, you look positively eatable," he growled huskily, and proceeded to kiss him silly.
The two pessimistics were off on their own, muttering hopelessly, yet giving each other lustful glances.
The two optimistics and romantics were sitting in the shade of a tree near the lake.
"We know they're meant to be together, but they don't know that, I mean, none of us know why they've suddenly linked, but we know that we've got to get them together," Optim Heero said.
"But how?" Optim Duo asked.
"WE DON'T CARE!" the two romances announced cheerily, "As long as they keep this link up!"
With that, they started to kiss each other, slowly and passionately.
"Well, they're some help," Optim Heero muttered.
"Listen, I just say that we just keep encouraging them to get to know each other," Optim Duo smiled.
"Yeah, and talk about getting to know each other… Come here," Optim Heero growled, pounced on a giggling Optim Duo and kissed him hungrily.
Soon though, it was time for the voices to part, as the dream ended, and their respective owners awoke to the morning sun.
So, that was it, confusing, neh? Well, pleeze let me know what you think, review! *gives puppy-dog eyes, and does a funny little dance*