AN: Last rhyming disclaimer. I'm out of ideas. Actually, the amazing anonymous sister helped me. She says that's why it's so bad. BTW, I'm back!!! (For now.)
DISCLAIMER:
**Foaly is my friend,
Because he is too smart.
I dare not claim him,
Since he'd rip me apart!!**
Chapter 8: Who's Holly?
"So if you don't have any friends," Simone asked in that too-sweet voice, "Who's Holly?"
Juliet swallowed hard when she heard the question, and Butler's eyes widened fractionally. They weren't sure they wanted to hear what came next. Artemis stiffened slightly, but it was enough for his parents. "Holly?" Angeline echoed. "Why haven't I heard about this Holly?"
"Uh-oh." the elf in question murmured.
"Well, who is she, Artemis?" his father asked. You have to admit that Artemis recovered quickly.
"A classmate, who's helping me with that art project I told you about." he replied smoothly. Simone tilted her head in apparent puzzlement, and Artemis knew the situation was going to get much worse.
"So, were you talking to her this morning? I heard you mention her name, and it almost sounded as if she was in the room with you. I thought maybe she lived here."
Holly sucked in a deep breath of air. Artemis paled slightly as his mother tilted her head. She looked very confused. "Artemis…" she said. "What does Simone mean?"
"I was on the telephone." Artemis responded instantly. His mother still looked puzzled, but then started to grin slightly.
"Hiding this 'classmate' from us, really, Arty, I expected more of you. You could at least warn us you had a girlfriend."
Artemis froze and he heard a distinct lack of laughter near his shoulder. Juliet and Butler, on the hand, looked like they were about to explode. Even his father was grinning. Simone had one eyebrow raised and looked very amused at the way the conversation had gone.
"A girlfriend." Artemis repeated, highly embarrassed but refusing to show it in front of Simone. Or Holly.
"That's the impression I'm getting." Angeline said defensively. Artemis looked just a little too calm with her amazing deduction.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mother, but Holly is not my 'girlfriend', and I doubt she ever will be." The Irish teen smiled slightly. "She's a little too old for me."
A fist hit him in the shoulder softly. "Cute, Mud Boy." Holly growled.
"Well," Angeline sniffed, "I would like to meet her at some point."
"Me, too." Simone piped up, wanting to see Artemis squirm a little more. "You didn't sound very happy with her this morning, though. Is she mad at you?"
Artemis leveled his patented glare at the smug French girl. "Simone, thank you for the stimulating conversation, but I must go." He stood fairly abruptly and turned to his parents. "Mother, Father."
Angeline and Artemis Sr. looked bemusedly at their son as he headed up the stairs. Simone leaned back in her chair with satisfaction. That had been…interesting. To say the least.
**********
Artemis returned to his room and shut the door. He had sat through quite enough interrogating for one day. Holly unshielded next to him.
"Why did you go downstairs, Holly?" he asked. "Anyone could have noticed the glimmer next to my shoulder. Simone is annoying, but she seems to be fairly observant."
"I caught that." Holly replied. "I didn't think you were talking that loudly earlier."
Artemis opened his mouth to reply and then frowned. "You're avoiding the question. Why did you go downstairs?"
"I got bored."
It was only nine in the morning, and Artemis could almost see the massive migraine that was headed his way. There was a knock on the door, and Holly disappeared with a shimmer.
"Come in." Artemis said, returning to his computer and opening the Internet. Maybe for his next forgery, he'd work on a more modern piece. Something dark and chaotic would match his mood right now. Butler opened the door and stood aside as Juliet entered with a bowl of carrot sticks and sliced strawberries.
"Great! I'm starved!" Holly grinned as she unshielded. She nibbled at a strawberry and made a slight face. Artemis ignored her and kept typing. Juliet, however, was puzzled.
"What's wrong?" Holly shook her head.
"Oh, nothing. Produce grown by Mud People just tastes a little off." Juliet was a little nettled by the comment.
"We grow all of our produce naturally. What's so bad about it?"
"Let me guess. We didn't purge the Mud Man from it." Artemis said sarcastically, not looking up from the keyboard.
"Exactly. It's not that bad, but I've got to get you people some real fruit someday." She grinned evilly. "So you can see what you've been missing. Meanwhile, this is adequate." Artemis abandoned his computer in silent frustration and turned to the elf.
"Holly, why are you here?" he asked tiredly.
"What do you mean?" she asked, all innocence.
"Why…are…you…here?" he asked again, slowly. Dangerously.
Holly looked at the teen and had half a mind to keep goading him, but she relented. "Artemis, how long have we known each other?" she asked softly.
Artemis grew wary at the gentle tone of her voice. "Almost two years." he said cautiously. Holly nodded in agreement and then exploded.
"Ever since I met you, my life's been turned upside down! Because of you, I've had my finger cut off, I've had to dive into the Artic Ocean, and I've been bent, spindled, and mutilated. I've been stuck with the most horrible duties a LEPRecon officer can have, and I've nearly lost my job twice. I've had to use more magic and do more mindwipes in the two years since I've met you than in the previous century! You've put my career in jeopardy and my life in mortal danger!" The fairy stopped, her face almost as red as Root's with anger. Suddenly, Holly grinned ferally, bearing teeth.
"So now it's payback time." she said gleefully. Artemis stared at her, his usual impassive expression firmly on his face. The tension was broken by Juliet's sigh.
"You win." she said sadly as she pulled a crumpled 10 euro note from her pocket. Both Holly and Artemis frowned and turned to the bodyguards.
"Win what?" Holly asked curiously.
"Butler and I were wondering exactly why you were here. He thought it was to make Artemis's life as miserable as possible. He was right." she said with mock depression as she dropped the note into Butler's hand and quickly left the room. Artemis turned to Butler. The impassive set of his face didn't change, but suddenly Butler felt unexplainably nervous. And that was a rare feeling for Butler.
"If you don't need me, Master Fowl…" he said, no emotion betrayed by his voice. Artemis nodded, and Butler quickly followed his sister.
Artemis waited until the door closed before he turned back to the elf, who was sitting on the edge of his desk crunching a carrot.
"Look, fairy-" he began, but was cut off by a tornado entering the room in the form of his very angry mother. She banged opened the door and stalked towards Artemis's desk. Luckily, being so angry blinded her to the fact that a small person who had been sitting on her son's desk had just shimmered out of existence. Unluckily, being that angry did not bode well for Artemis's immediate future.
"Artemis Fowl Junior, I am ashamed of you!" she started without preamble. "Treating that poor girl in such a fashion! All she did was ask a few questions, and you treated her like she wasn't worth your time. When she asked about your friends, you practically cut her off at the knees! And then really, stomping off from the table in such a manner! That kind of juvenile behavior is beneath you. What is wrong with you?" Angeline finished, staring hard at her son, who gazed back stonily. She noticed the bowl of fruit at the edge of his desk. "And what is that?"
"Well, it was hard to finish breakfast between getting interrogated by that girl and you asking me all those questions about my classmate." Artemis said coolly. "And quite frankly, the conversation made me lose my appetite."
"Arty, Simone is going to be here for the rest of the year. She doesn't know anyone besides you, and I'm sure she really does want to be friends." At that comment, Artemis heard an amused snort from the area above his left shoulder. Apparently the girlfriend crack had not endeared Simone to Captain Short.
Angeline continued without hearing. "You are either going have to start getting along with her, or you are going to have to go out of your way each and every day to avoid her. Now, which sounds easier to you?" Artemis didn't have to say anything; his answer was clear by his silence.
"Artemis, you are going to have to start talking to your peers sometime. You do need some help with your communication skills."
"Mother, what is wrong with my communication skills? I write articles that are accepted into the leading psychiatric journals. I can negotiate any business deal. I can talk about literature, art, or science almost as well as any expert in the world."
"Yes, and don't forget your amazing inter-species diplomacy. The entire LEP Academy knows and fears your name. Your communication with others works fantastically." Holly whispered sarcastically.
"I can speak several different languages."
"Gnommish being a specialty." the elf hissed.
I don't think any other teenager in Europe could match my communication skills." Artemis finished calmly, though a slight smile did appear on his face at Holly's remarks. Angeline sighed.
"But you don't talk to anyone your own age. Artemis, you are so many things. You had to be the man of the house while your father was missing. You are an artist, a businessman, a psychologist, a hacker-Don't look so surprised, Arty, I'm not stupid- and probably a genius. Why don't you try being a teenager for once?"
For the first time since Holly had known him, Artemis looked genuinely confused.
"Why would I want to do that?" he asked. Angeline sighed again in exasperation and whirled. She stalked out of the room just as quickly as she had stormed in. The door slammed behind her. Artemis watched his mother's dramatic exit with slight puzzlement and only turned back when a rhythmic banging caught his attention. Holly had her arms folded on the desk, and was slowly hitting her head on them.
"For being a genius, you are so stupid."