AN: Lessa's out of rhymes. Deal with it.
ASN: (Anonymous Sister's Note) BTW, this is actually the point where we came up with a plot! Yay!
AN: So, from here on in, this will be a little more than just Artemis torture.
ASN: Although that is fun.
Chapter 9: Enter the Mad Scientist(s)
Defea was a centaur, like Foaly. In fact, she was Foaly's ex-girlfriend and the password into his computer systems. Of course, she didn't know about the password, though she would probably eventually guess it. After all, she was very intelligent. Her and Foaly's version of a perfect date consisted of finding some old, obscure fairy technology, or even better, Mud Man technology, taking it apart, and fixing it up so it was better than before. The two had been perfect together.
Then Defea had dumped Foaly (or Foaly dumped her, it depended on who you asked). She felt he was a little too nosy in her business. And she had things she needed to hide from the centaur. Mainly, her 'hobby'.
Defea ran a small smuggling ring. She gave certain, outdated technology to a Mud Man, who provided her with enough money to keep her fairly well off. Any fairy who asked about her wealth was told of the poor rich uncle who recently died. Everyone bought that story. Even the LEP officers and Foaly.
At the moment, the rich centaur was reclined in her large, luxurious purple and blue striped couch in front of her entertainment center. Foaly had never liked it. But then, he had never had good taste. Preferring his plasma floor to her pink and orange living room, really.
A beep pulled Defea out of her musings into the real world. She shook her head and sat up quickly, a confused look on her face. The beep echoed again, and the centaur pushed a button impatiently.
A Mud Man appeared on the screen. He was short and pale, his hair was brown, mussed, and slightly stringy, and he wore brown rimmed glasses with thick lenses. His eyes were small, blue, and watery. He was slouched forward, studying the screen intently.
The Mud Man's name was Stephen Kegel. He was, quite simply, a nerd. What he did for a living was invent technology and gather information for his boss, an Antoine Badeau. Mr. Badeau was in charge of the computer side of Interpol. He demanded new and fresh technology often to keep up with what the criminals were producing. As of three years ago, Kegel had been running out of ideas. Even all his powers of persuasion were not going to help him.
Then he met Defea.
Defea offered him new (to humans, anyway) technology and information, for a very high price. Then, Kegel had been eager to pay it. But now, he wasn't so sure.
"Defea," he said, nodding slightly, "How are you today?"
"The same I was yesterday. What do you want?" she asked shortly. "You aren't supposed to contact me until next week."
"Well, I have a slight problem." Kegel began.
"Your problems are never slight, and besides, what does that have to do with me?"
"Defea, my boss wants more technology. Bigger, better technology. Being able to trace most emails just isn't good enough any longer. He wants to be able to trace any email, access any account and be able to read anything that has been sent to or from that account."
"Go to it." Defea said calmly. "You have my blessing." She reached for the disconnect button. "See you next week."
"Wait!" Kegel cried. "You don't understand! He also wants to start a new research project to use the hot air vents in the Earth's crust as an energy source. You know, for his hobby. So, he wants a computer system set up so it can look down the vents to see what's there and take records and measurements. That's impossible!"
"Whoa, wait a second. What kind of hot air vents?" Defea said, sitting up straight.
"Cracks in the first surface, where magma bubbles up occasionally, creating bursts of hot air. If that can be harnessed, it can be a new, clean energy source, and naturally, my boss wants to cash in on it." The nerd ran a hand through his messy hair. "He wants a computer with a geological survey station, recording equipment, a camera, a heat sensor, and he wants it all to be in a portable laptop! I mean, how can I fit all that in a little package, and find a metal strong enough to withstand magma?!"
"You're right. That's impossible." Defea commented casually. Too casually. "Sorry."
"Hey!" Kegel objected. "I thought you said you could do anything."
"I can." said a very miffed centaur. "I just can't…do…this." She smiled weakly. "Nothing personal."
Kegel frowned. "And why can't you?" he asked. "Heaven knows I'm giving you enough money for services rendered."
"If I tell you, I'd have to kill you." Defea said flippantly. The Mud Man pouted.
"Come on, Defea, I need your help. I can't do it by myself. Please?" He poured on all the pressure he could muster. If Defea had any idea what he was actually doing, she would be quite surprised. However, the centaur had designed her screen to filter all mind bending magic.
She rolled her eyes. "I hate it when you beg. It's so pitiful; I just have to help…"
"Really?" Kegel said, brightening up immediately.
"No. I lied." Defea grinned, and pushed the power off button. Kegel's outraged face disappeared. "Till next time."
**********
Stephen Kegel sat back in his chair and sulked. He was very good at it. After a few minutes of trying to puzzle out the schematics, he sighed heavily. He had been right. It really was impossible. Now all he had to do was tell his boss that. Kegel squared his shoulders. As long as Mr. Badeau didn't get mad, there was at least a chance of salvaging the situation. He would just…convince his boss to forget it, or at least give the idea up for a while. After all, Kegel was a very persuasive man.
The nerd stood and walked out of his cramped laboratory. His grimy lab coat stuck out in the midst of all the well dressed Interpol information gathers in the hall. He walked through the large double doors and turned to the pretty secretary at his right.
"Anna, tell Mr. Badeau I need to talk to him." He leaned over a little closer. "He isn't too busy, is he, sweet?"
The secretary didn't give him a first glance. "It's Miss Wetzel, and no, he's not busy. Walk right on in."
Kegel did so, shutting the door behind him. As the door slammed, the secretary smirked. "He's not busy, just talking to his daughter. Oh, I forgot. He said he didn't want to be disturbed." The secretary grinned and turned back to her work. "Oops."
**********
Kegel strolled in and found Mr. Badeau leaning back in his chair, talking animatedly on the telephone. "Honey, I'm sorry, but I have to go. Maybe later?" He paused, and then smiled. "Okay, Simone, tomorrow. I'm glad you're getting along okay." He glanced up at Stephen with mock anger. "And what's so important you have to interrupt a conversation between me and my only child?" he growled.
Mr. Badeau was tall and bulky. He worked out a lot, but spent a lot of his time behind his desk at Interpol, telling others how to do their jobs. He was very good at it. The man also had pet projects. They included saving the environment, fighting for lower taxes, and the Fowls. He didn't trust them, you see. After years of skirting on the wrong side of the law, all of a sudden they decide to be legitimate. Right after all that gold and money appeared in their bank account, too. A little peculiar, if you asked him. Not that many people did. They weren't that stupid.
The computer nerd gulped as Badeau glared at him. "Um, you see, sir, it's about the email project and the heat vent idea…"
Badeau grinned at his words and sat up. "Wonderful!" he declared. "When will they be ready?"
Kegel closed his eyes and prayed for someone to save him. He'd rather be abducted by aliens than finish this conversation. Even with his powers of persuasion, this one didn't look good. Badeau was already in a bad mood.
"They…won't, sir."
"Excuse me?" Badeau said, an odd look coming over his face. "I must have misunderstood that; I could have sworn you said they won't be ready. Please: when will they be ready, again?"
"S-s-sir," Kegel whimpered, "They…won't be ready, sir. I can't do it."
"You can't do it." Badeau echoed. Kegel nodded, staring him straight in the eyes. After a moment, Badeau found himself looking away. There was something…disturbing about the nerd's gaze.
"You can't do it." Badeau stood suddenly, looking calm, but very, very displeased. "After all the money I've put into your department, you dare to tell me that you can't do it?!"
Kegel looked like he was going to faint. All thoughts of persuading his boss's mind to his will were gone. "Urk."
"Find a way to make what I want, or things will go very badly for you, Kegel." Badeau said, now completely calm. "There are many others I know who would love to have a crack at your work; and with your funds. However, I decided to give a chance. If you can't handle what I ask for, maybe it's time you retired…"
"Sir, please!" Kegel blurted. He poured all his 'charm' into his next words, knowing his livelihood depended on it. "I just had an amazing revelation. I can do it, just give me some time to figure out how to manage it. Please don't fire me; I can do it."
"Good," Badeau said, clapping Kegel on the shoulder, and at the same time, pushing him toward the door. "I have complete trust in you. Get going, then."
"Yes, sir."
The door slammed behind him.
Miss Wetzel looked up at the shaking nerd and smiled sweetly. "How'd it go?" she asked.
"J-just fine." Kegel replied as he slunk down to his lab. Once safely there, he had a slight nervous breakdown.
"What have I done?" he whispered "I'll never be able to do this. I can't. Mr. Badeau will kill me for lying to him. Or fire me. What will I doooo?"
After a few minutes of lying in a fetal position and whimpering, Kegel straightened up and took a deep breath, clenching one fist in front of him in clichéd determination. "I-I have to get Defea to help me. I have to." After a moment, he collapsed again. "But hooooooooooowww……"
Kegel laid thinking and whimpering to himself. "I've tried to convince her; but she's immune to my 'charm'. I could offer her lots of money-no, that won't work, the budget's too big anyway. Give her something she needs-what would a smart centaur like her need from a mere human like me? I could threaten her-no, what could I threaten her with? Besides, Defea scares me."
Then he sat up straight. "Wait. Defea sends the technology I ask for to the pick up point. If someone comes to drop that off, well, I could grab them. I could…hold them hostage and demand Defea help me or…or I'll splash their fairy secrets across the whole entire word! She would never be able to stop me!" He paused for a moment to laugh maniacally.
Not only was Kegel a nerd, he watched a lot of television, like James Bond and Indiana Jones and other movies that included evil men trying to blackmail other people. His absolute favorite, of course, being Lion King. Scar was just so nasty.
"Now, I have to get to her right away…" he muttered. "Maybe I'll call her again. No, she'd just blow me off again. No, the next scheduled appointment is for…" he consulted his calendar/diary, hidden in a very special place (under the keyboard of his computer).
"Next week. All right, I have that long to plan out everything completely. I need a place to hold my hostage, and a list of material and technology to demand of Defea, and…"
The evil mastermind was in business.
ASN: No, we were not on drugs while we wrote about Kegel, we promise.
AN: That's what she thinks.
ASN: Okaaaaay, I wasn't on drugs.
AN: Thanks for reading; the next chapter should be up…whenever it is. That's all I can promise.