Haunted by Memories Chp.2
Disclaimer in first chappy
Song is in {}
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{Long lost words whisper slowly to me}
Damn, what is up with every one and this bleeding song? They put it in the sodding jukebox and every time I come in here the bloody thing is playing.
I'm sittin' here minding my own business and Lorne, the big, green wanker has to play the damned thing.
Only reason I complain about it is that it reminds of the last words I said to Buffy, and the last words she said to me. "I love you." Never in a million years thought she'd utter those three little words to me, but she did. I'm just left wondering if she really did mean them. I was a complete git for saying I didn't believe her. I couldn't let her stay in there though, had to make her leave. Figured if I didn't deny her she'd stay and I couldn't let her die again. If someone was gonna die it was gonna be me. I didn't expect to be brought back, figured I'd just be gone, no more.
Jake, the bartender walks by, finally. I glance up at him as he does. He knows what I want, and grabs my glass as he sees me glance at him.
"Give me the bottle." I say, no need for a glass, when the bottle will do me just as good.
"Thinking about her again, Spike?" He says as he comes back with the requested bottle of Jack, and hands it to me. He's heard the whole story. Only because the first time I came in here after my little talk with Angel. I couldn't get drunk and I need someone to listen. I sat here for hours talkin' 'bout her to the poor guy. Even Angel doesn't know the whole story, I figure if he wants to know he can ask Buffy. He'd believe her more than me.
"Yeah, I'm thinking about her, it's always her. You should know that by now." I say looking back up at him.
"I always know when you're thinking of her, buddy. It's always hand me the bottle when it's about her." He says, knowing me better than most people. Guess I could call him a friend, if I really had any, it would be him. He's a good guy, not a good as my Slayer. Still he's a decent bloke.
My Slayer, I wonder if she really is mine. I have to wonder, 'cause I doubt that I'll ever know. If it were up to Peaches, I'd never lay eyes on her again. Though he does have wolf girl hangin' 'round all the bleeding time. He still thinks that he has to protect Buffy, when it isn't his right anymore. Anyway why does she need protectin'? Especially, when she needs so much more than what he could give her, the bloody ponce doesn't get it, but I do. I always have. Never was blind to her. Maybe wanted her dead for awhile, but I always knew that she didn't need protectin' 'cause she protected herself, with all those walls and barriers. Just wish she'd have let them down a little sooner.
I really believe we could have had something soddin' unbelievable, at least.
Disclaimer in first chappy
Song is in {}
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Long lost words whisper slowly to me}
Damn, what is up with every one and this bleeding song? They put it in the sodding jukebox and every time I come in here the bloody thing is playing.
I'm sittin' here minding my own business and Lorne, the big, green wanker has to play the damned thing.
Only reason I complain about it is that it reminds of the last words I said to Buffy, and the last words she said to me. "I love you." Never in a million years thought she'd utter those three little words to me, but she did. I'm just left wondering if she really did mean them. I was a complete git for saying I didn't believe her. I couldn't let her stay in there though, had to make her leave. Figured if I didn't deny her she'd stay and I couldn't let her die again. If someone was gonna die it was gonna be me. I didn't expect to be brought back, figured I'd just be gone, no more.
Jake, the bartender walks by, finally. I glance up at him as he does. He knows what I want, and grabs my glass as he sees me glance at him.
"Give me the bottle." I say, no need for a glass, when the bottle will do me just as good.
"Thinking about her again, Spike?" He says as he comes back with the requested bottle of Jack, and hands it to me. He's heard the whole story. Only because the first time I came in here after my little talk with Angel. I couldn't get drunk and I need someone to listen. I sat here for hours talkin' 'bout her to the poor guy. Even Angel doesn't know the whole story, I figure if he wants to know he can ask Buffy. He'd believe her more than me.
"Yeah, I'm thinking about her, it's always her. You should know that by now." I say looking back up at him.
"I always know when you're thinking of her, buddy. It's always hand me the bottle when it's about her." He says, knowing me better than most people. Guess I could call him a friend, if I really had any, it would be him. He's a good guy, not a good as my Slayer. Still he's a decent bloke.
My Slayer, I wonder if she really is mine. I have to wonder, 'cause I doubt that I'll ever know. If it were up to Peaches, I'd never lay eyes on her again. Though he does have wolf girl hangin' 'round all the bleeding time. He still thinks that he has to protect Buffy, when it isn't his right anymore. Anyway why does she need protectin'? Especially, when she needs so much more than what he could give her, the bloody ponce doesn't get it, but I do. I always have. Never was blind to her. Maybe wanted her dead for awhile, but I always knew that she didn't need protectin' 'cause she protected herself, with all those walls and barriers. Just wish she'd have let them down a little sooner.
I really believe we could have had something soddin' unbelievable, at least.