Edward Kidnastoff
By John Little
Chp. 1: Bull At The Dozer's House
*****
Epona galloped furiously towards Lon Lon Ranch as Link fired an arrow at the Poe that had materialized just before them on the trail. There had been a surprising increase in the amount of Poe activity the past few weeks, making travel through Hyrule much more dangerous than normal. Even Link, who was quite adept at dispatching Poes and other ethereal creatures, found it tiring to be caught in a circle of five or six of them at a time.
Link slowed Epona to a casual trot as they crossed the threshold of the Ranch, knowing that the Poes would prefer to hunt for victims in the wide open fields, though some had even taken to entering buildings lately. He currently had three of them bottled from earlier that morning when he had been called to remove some from the Gerudo Fortress. That was all he had been doing lately, really; dueling Poes, bottling them, and then collecting money from the people who just didn't want to deal with the "infestation" for themselves.
Link was dismounting in front of the door to the main residential section of the ranch when Malon ran to meet him from the ranch's center, panting and looking terrified. "Link! Thank goodness you're here. We've got trouble!"
"Yeah, I know," Link said as he pulled an empty bottle from the burlap sack that he'd been carrying all day. "Poe in the attic. Shouldn't be anything to the three that I met this morning when-"
"No, Link, in the pen with the horses! Follow me!" Malon turned and raced towards the center of the ranch leaving a bewildered Link with little choice but to follow. They reached the enclosure fence just as Talon was maneuvering a horse out of the gate into what appeared to be the rest of the herd while Ingo was rapidly swinging the gate closed behind them. "Link!" gasped Talon, "it's about time you got here! Listen, there's-"
"Yeah, Malon filled me in," Link interrupted. "Another Poe showed up in your field here."
"A Poe???" Talon wailed. "If only it were a Poe, those things normally won't kill horses. I lost two to this thing this morning!"
Link blinked a few times, and stared into the fence. Near the opposite end, he could make out what may have been the remains of two horses, but there didn't seem to be much left of them. Putting away his bottle and unsheathing his sword, Link took a few steps towards the potential danger before turning back to Talon. "What is it?"
"It's nasty, that's what it is! This morning some guy in a white....robe thing just appeared, and wanted to know if I'd like a bull. I said that it depended on the price, and he said that the bull was free to a good home. I asked why, and he said that he was on a long trip, and just couldn't afford to keep the bull with him any longer. I accepted, and the guy just claps his hands as the biggest bull I've ever seen appears, wearing a glowing collar. He led the bull through the fence, removed its collar and vanished into thin air. I'm just about to celebrate, but the bull instantly ran straight for the nearest horse and started goring it and trampling it! I called Ingo over to help, and the two of us walked in with lassos ready, but the bull vanished before we could get in range! We started herding all of the horses out through the gate, but it still managed to get one."
Link frowned and turned back to the field. Pulling out the Lens of Truth, he surveyed the land and did see what looked like a large bull pacing back and forth at the opposite end. It looked to be about two or three times the size of a standard bull, a fact made all the more noticeable by the oddly sharp-looking horns. "Stay here," Link muttered. "I think that I can handle this."
There was a great deal of truth to that statement. He had vanquished monsters such as Barinade, Volvagia and Bongo Bongo in the past, and at a glance he could tell that this bull monster, whatever it would wind up being called, would be easy to defeat. Even if it could shoot lasers from its horns, it probably wouldn't be a huge challenge. These thoughts weren't crossing the minds of Talon, Malon or Ingo as they stepped away from the fence to let the hero work, but Link repeated the thought to himself, wondering if the monster would even prove as challenging as a Lizalfo.
"Navi, wake up," Link whispered as he quietly passed through the gate, closing it behind him. "It's battle time." The blue fairy emerged, and surveyed the situation.
"That's not a Poe, Link."
"I know, it's an invisible, wild bull."
"A big one. Watch out for those horns, obviously. I'd go for its sides, and-"
The bull snapped its head in Link's direction and snorted furiously. Even if Link hadn't been wearing the Lens of Truth he would have been able to see the clumps of soil that the beast pushed with its front hooves as it prepared for the charge. It quickly began a collision course, its head lowered and its horns aimed straight at Link's chest. Link, in turn, quickly pulled out his shield. Carefully timing the surprisingly rapid approach of the bull, Link jumped to its side and delivered a quick slash.
With a surprising clang, Link's sword simply rebounded as the bull galloped a short distance away before stopping and looking around, as if confused that it missed it's target. "Navi," Link whispered. "That didn't work. Any other ideas?"
"Do you have the biggoron sword with you?"
"No, left it at home. This was just a Poe extermination mission when we started. Got anything else?"
"Working on it." So saying, Navi flew to the bull and started looking over it's entire structure. By now, however, the bull had realized that Link wasn't standing too far behind it. Turning around, the bull once again lowered its head and produced a few warning stomps.
Link once again made sure to keep the shield between himself and the bull as the trampling began. However, the bull was ready when Link jumped to the side. Veering just as Link attempted to evade, it rammed into the shield, lifting Link off of the ground. A few seconds later, the bull was crushing Link with his own shield on one of the horse's training fences.
"Now'd be a....good time, Navi!" Link wheezed as the bull continued pushing. He could feel his shoulder rapidly approaching the breaking point.
"Listen! Can you reach the Fairy Ocarina?"
"I....yeah, I think...."
"Try Epona's Song! He's a pasture animal, right?"
"That's the best ya got?!" Link shouted. Still, he was in enough pain that he used the arm that wasn't holding the shield to remove the Ocarina. Playing with one hand would be tough, but he just might be able to manage it....
The shield was squeezing the last air out of him, so Link could only manage one breath for the song. He concentrated every fiber of his being on not letting the bull push the last of the air out of his lungs before he could finish the music. However, just a few notes into the song Link noticed that it wasn't quite as painful. By the end of the first phrase, the bull was looking around in confusion allowing Link all the breathing room that he needed. By the end of the song, the fierce beast was as peaceful as any of the other farm animals.
"Well now," Link said, patting the bull's head. "He's not so tough when you get to know him, is he? Good call, Navi!"
"Link, this bull...he's made out of metal!"
"What?"
"Metal! Like a beamos or iron knuckle, but with a leather covering!"
Pondering this, Link tapped it with his sword. Once again, there was the clang that he hadn't given much thought to during the battle. "What are you, fella?" he asked, looking into the bull's big, brown eyes.
Instantly, the bull snarled and thrashed its horns in Link's direction, Link only narrowly jumping back in time. The bull was shaking its head angrily, and pawing the ground again.
"Quick, Link! More music! Keep playing Epona's Song!"
Link jumped behind the fence that the bull had just nearly crushed him on, still under the adrenaline rush from the return of the bull's rage. "I can't keep playing Epona's Song forever," Link muttered. "However,...."
Just as the bull began circling around the fence for another strike at Link, Link thought back to the Song of Storms that he had learned from a music man in a windmill not too long ago. Quickly, the storm clouds gathered, and a rain began to fall. Jumping over the training fence again just before the bull could reach him, Link stepped back to watch as the bull slowly looked up at the rain falling from the sky. Shaking its head, the bull began to round the fence once again. However, when it reached the edge of the fence and turned to glare at Link, a spark of energy arced between its horns. The bull seemed to notice this, though it was very soon more occupied with the other sparks that began to lance from its body in general. The bull began to shake and smoke quickly as Link thought back to what this type of occurrence normally preceded. Ducking behind his shield to avoid the debris, Link heard the explosion as the bull fell to pieces.
Cheering erupted from the perimeter of the outer fence as Malon, Talon and Ingo quickly opened the door and began the task of herding the horses back in. "Wow, Link!" said Navi as she flew into view. "How did you know it would explode? What if it'd just been armored?"
"Well, I didn't really," Link confessed as he looked over the twisted remains of the mechanized bull. "I was just hoping that it would rust."
A few seconds of awkward silence passed before Navi spoke again. "Um,....you do know that rusting generally takes days to occur, right?"
Link was saved from having to reply by the rapid approach of Talon. "Excellent, young man, simply excellent! Finest bit of wranglin' I've ever seen around here! Now then, about that Poe in the house...."
*****
Meanwhile, a figure watched from safety. He watched the one in green being congratulated by everyone present. He watched as the remains of the bull were loaded onto a cart along with the bodies of the two dead horses. He watched as the ranch returned to normal, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"That one in green....very interesting," he muttered. "I'll have to see more of this hero. I think that it's time for Tyrtora...."
To be continued....
By John Little
Chp. 1: Bull At The Dozer's House
*****
Epona galloped furiously towards Lon Lon Ranch as Link fired an arrow at the Poe that had materialized just before them on the trail. There had been a surprising increase in the amount of Poe activity the past few weeks, making travel through Hyrule much more dangerous than normal. Even Link, who was quite adept at dispatching Poes and other ethereal creatures, found it tiring to be caught in a circle of five or six of them at a time.
Link slowed Epona to a casual trot as they crossed the threshold of the Ranch, knowing that the Poes would prefer to hunt for victims in the wide open fields, though some had even taken to entering buildings lately. He currently had three of them bottled from earlier that morning when he had been called to remove some from the Gerudo Fortress. That was all he had been doing lately, really; dueling Poes, bottling them, and then collecting money from the people who just didn't want to deal with the "infestation" for themselves.
Link was dismounting in front of the door to the main residential section of the ranch when Malon ran to meet him from the ranch's center, panting and looking terrified. "Link! Thank goodness you're here. We've got trouble!"
"Yeah, I know," Link said as he pulled an empty bottle from the burlap sack that he'd been carrying all day. "Poe in the attic. Shouldn't be anything to the three that I met this morning when-"
"No, Link, in the pen with the horses! Follow me!" Malon turned and raced towards the center of the ranch leaving a bewildered Link with little choice but to follow. They reached the enclosure fence just as Talon was maneuvering a horse out of the gate into what appeared to be the rest of the herd while Ingo was rapidly swinging the gate closed behind them. "Link!" gasped Talon, "it's about time you got here! Listen, there's-"
"Yeah, Malon filled me in," Link interrupted. "Another Poe showed up in your field here."
"A Poe???" Talon wailed. "If only it were a Poe, those things normally won't kill horses. I lost two to this thing this morning!"
Link blinked a few times, and stared into the fence. Near the opposite end, he could make out what may have been the remains of two horses, but there didn't seem to be much left of them. Putting away his bottle and unsheathing his sword, Link took a few steps towards the potential danger before turning back to Talon. "What is it?"
"It's nasty, that's what it is! This morning some guy in a white....robe thing just appeared, and wanted to know if I'd like a bull. I said that it depended on the price, and he said that the bull was free to a good home. I asked why, and he said that he was on a long trip, and just couldn't afford to keep the bull with him any longer. I accepted, and the guy just claps his hands as the biggest bull I've ever seen appears, wearing a glowing collar. He led the bull through the fence, removed its collar and vanished into thin air. I'm just about to celebrate, but the bull instantly ran straight for the nearest horse and started goring it and trampling it! I called Ingo over to help, and the two of us walked in with lassos ready, but the bull vanished before we could get in range! We started herding all of the horses out through the gate, but it still managed to get one."
Link frowned and turned back to the field. Pulling out the Lens of Truth, he surveyed the land and did see what looked like a large bull pacing back and forth at the opposite end. It looked to be about two or three times the size of a standard bull, a fact made all the more noticeable by the oddly sharp-looking horns. "Stay here," Link muttered. "I think that I can handle this."
There was a great deal of truth to that statement. He had vanquished monsters such as Barinade, Volvagia and Bongo Bongo in the past, and at a glance he could tell that this bull monster, whatever it would wind up being called, would be easy to defeat. Even if it could shoot lasers from its horns, it probably wouldn't be a huge challenge. These thoughts weren't crossing the minds of Talon, Malon or Ingo as they stepped away from the fence to let the hero work, but Link repeated the thought to himself, wondering if the monster would even prove as challenging as a Lizalfo.
"Navi, wake up," Link whispered as he quietly passed through the gate, closing it behind him. "It's battle time." The blue fairy emerged, and surveyed the situation.
"That's not a Poe, Link."
"I know, it's an invisible, wild bull."
"A big one. Watch out for those horns, obviously. I'd go for its sides, and-"
The bull snapped its head in Link's direction and snorted furiously. Even if Link hadn't been wearing the Lens of Truth he would have been able to see the clumps of soil that the beast pushed with its front hooves as it prepared for the charge. It quickly began a collision course, its head lowered and its horns aimed straight at Link's chest. Link, in turn, quickly pulled out his shield. Carefully timing the surprisingly rapid approach of the bull, Link jumped to its side and delivered a quick slash.
With a surprising clang, Link's sword simply rebounded as the bull galloped a short distance away before stopping and looking around, as if confused that it missed it's target. "Navi," Link whispered. "That didn't work. Any other ideas?"
"Do you have the biggoron sword with you?"
"No, left it at home. This was just a Poe extermination mission when we started. Got anything else?"
"Working on it." So saying, Navi flew to the bull and started looking over it's entire structure. By now, however, the bull had realized that Link wasn't standing too far behind it. Turning around, the bull once again lowered its head and produced a few warning stomps.
Link once again made sure to keep the shield between himself and the bull as the trampling began. However, the bull was ready when Link jumped to the side. Veering just as Link attempted to evade, it rammed into the shield, lifting Link off of the ground. A few seconds later, the bull was crushing Link with his own shield on one of the horse's training fences.
"Now'd be a....good time, Navi!" Link wheezed as the bull continued pushing. He could feel his shoulder rapidly approaching the breaking point.
"Listen! Can you reach the Fairy Ocarina?"
"I....yeah, I think...."
"Try Epona's Song! He's a pasture animal, right?"
"That's the best ya got?!" Link shouted. Still, he was in enough pain that he used the arm that wasn't holding the shield to remove the Ocarina. Playing with one hand would be tough, but he just might be able to manage it....
The shield was squeezing the last air out of him, so Link could only manage one breath for the song. He concentrated every fiber of his being on not letting the bull push the last of the air out of his lungs before he could finish the music. However, just a few notes into the song Link noticed that it wasn't quite as painful. By the end of the first phrase, the bull was looking around in confusion allowing Link all the breathing room that he needed. By the end of the song, the fierce beast was as peaceful as any of the other farm animals.
"Well now," Link said, patting the bull's head. "He's not so tough when you get to know him, is he? Good call, Navi!"
"Link, this bull...he's made out of metal!"
"What?"
"Metal! Like a beamos or iron knuckle, but with a leather covering!"
Pondering this, Link tapped it with his sword. Once again, there was the clang that he hadn't given much thought to during the battle. "What are you, fella?" he asked, looking into the bull's big, brown eyes.
Instantly, the bull snarled and thrashed its horns in Link's direction, Link only narrowly jumping back in time. The bull was shaking its head angrily, and pawing the ground again.
"Quick, Link! More music! Keep playing Epona's Song!"
Link jumped behind the fence that the bull had just nearly crushed him on, still under the adrenaline rush from the return of the bull's rage. "I can't keep playing Epona's Song forever," Link muttered. "However,...."
Just as the bull began circling around the fence for another strike at Link, Link thought back to the Song of Storms that he had learned from a music man in a windmill not too long ago. Quickly, the storm clouds gathered, and a rain began to fall. Jumping over the training fence again just before the bull could reach him, Link stepped back to watch as the bull slowly looked up at the rain falling from the sky. Shaking its head, the bull began to round the fence once again. However, when it reached the edge of the fence and turned to glare at Link, a spark of energy arced between its horns. The bull seemed to notice this, though it was very soon more occupied with the other sparks that began to lance from its body in general. The bull began to shake and smoke quickly as Link thought back to what this type of occurrence normally preceded. Ducking behind his shield to avoid the debris, Link heard the explosion as the bull fell to pieces.
Cheering erupted from the perimeter of the outer fence as Malon, Talon and Ingo quickly opened the door and began the task of herding the horses back in. "Wow, Link!" said Navi as she flew into view. "How did you know it would explode? What if it'd just been armored?"
"Well, I didn't really," Link confessed as he looked over the twisted remains of the mechanized bull. "I was just hoping that it would rust."
A few seconds of awkward silence passed before Navi spoke again. "Um,....you do know that rusting generally takes days to occur, right?"
Link was saved from having to reply by the rapid approach of Talon. "Excellent, young man, simply excellent! Finest bit of wranglin' I've ever seen around here! Now then, about that Poe in the house...."
*****
Meanwhile, a figure watched from safety. He watched the one in green being congratulated by everyone present. He watched as the remains of the bull were loaded onto a cart along with the bodies of the two dead horses. He watched as the ranch returned to normal, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"That one in green....very interesting," he muttered. "I'll have to see more of this hero. I think that it's time for Tyrtora...."
To be continued....