Haunted by Memories
Chp.4
Disclaimer in first chappy
Song is in {}
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{When all this time I've been hollow inside}
Hollow inside, yep that's how I feel. Bleeding hell, I was totally hollow being a ghost and all. Not as hollow as I feel now.
I guess it could also mean my Slayer, too. She was so bloody hollow and empty that year, after she was brought back. Said 'she couldn't feel anything real.' The only person she could stand to be around was yours truly. Which made me a real happy bloke at the time.
At the thought of that horrible year, I have to take a swig from the bottle I've been hugging like it was her, and light up a fag. Drawing the smoke in and exhaling it, I just need to feel it running through my body. I know if Lorne sees it he'll make me put it out, because there's no smoking in the whole bloody building. Like I ever paid any attention to what I'm not supposed to do. I do what I want and don't care about the consequences, even if it might get me staked.
Taking another drag and gulp, I wish that the bloody song would end already. It brings back to many memories, good ones, bad ones and horribly hurtful ones. I try not to think of her, but it's kind of hard when she's the only thing ever on my mind.
I turn to check out who just walked in the bar and bleeding great, it's the green poofter and Watcher Junior. Didn't even notice Lorne leave the joint, but here he comes.
I just know they're gonna come over here and bother me and I really don't want any company to help me wallow in my misery and memories.
Great they keep on walking by. Thank whatever powers that are up there.
Well, I guess I bloody well spoke to soon. Here comes the demon. I already know what he's gonna ask, what he always asks.
"Her again, honey?" Ha, the git is so predictable. I guess because he asks that every time he sees me. Well at least every time he's seen me since Fred figured out to get me here in the flesh.
I'm just wondering if I have it written in big, pink, florescent letters across my forehead or something.
"Yeah, is the word Buffy written on my forehead in bright, pink letters or something?" Figured I might as well ask, 'cause it sure as hell seems like it.
"Well, honey. I wouldn't say it was bright and pink, but it is written all over you. I can see it in your aura."
"Sorry. It just seems like every bloke and chit in the place has asked me that in the last two weeks. What you get your body back and your business is everyone else's? I just want to be left alone, well alone 'til it's time to kick some evil's ass. That is." I mumble out, it's the truth. I do just want to be left the hell alone, with my fags and booze.
Lorne chuckles at me. "Well, Spike I'll leave you alone then. Put out that cigarette, you know you're not supposed to be smoking in the building." He says over his shoulder as he walks away.
Like that's goin' to happen.
Chp.4
Disclaimer in first chappy
Song is in {}
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{When all this time I've been hollow inside}
Hollow inside, yep that's how I feel. Bleeding hell, I was totally hollow being a ghost and all. Not as hollow as I feel now.
I guess it could also mean my Slayer, too. She was so bloody hollow and empty that year, after she was brought back. Said 'she couldn't feel anything real.' The only person she could stand to be around was yours truly. Which made me a real happy bloke at the time.
At the thought of that horrible year, I have to take a swig from the bottle I've been hugging like it was her, and light up a fag. Drawing the smoke in and exhaling it, I just need to feel it running through my body. I know if Lorne sees it he'll make me put it out, because there's no smoking in the whole bloody building. Like I ever paid any attention to what I'm not supposed to do. I do what I want and don't care about the consequences, even if it might get me staked.
Taking another drag and gulp, I wish that the bloody song would end already. It brings back to many memories, good ones, bad ones and horribly hurtful ones. I try not to think of her, but it's kind of hard when she's the only thing ever on my mind.
I turn to check out who just walked in the bar and bleeding great, it's the green poofter and Watcher Junior. Didn't even notice Lorne leave the joint, but here he comes.
I just know they're gonna come over here and bother me and I really don't want any company to help me wallow in my misery and memories.
Great they keep on walking by. Thank whatever powers that are up there.
Well, I guess I bloody well spoke to soon. Here comes the demon. I already know what he's gonna ask, what he always asks.
"Her again, honey?" Ha, the git is so predictable. I guess because he asks that every time he sees me. Well at least every time he's seen me since Fred figured out to get me here in the flesh.
I'm just wondering if I have it written in big, pink, florescent letters across my forehead or something.
"Yeah, is the word Buffy written on my forehead in bright, pink letters or something?" Figured I might as well ask, 'cause it sure as hell seems like it.
"Well, honey. I wouldn't say it was bright and pink, but it is written all over you. I can see it in your aura."
"Sorry. It just seems like every bloke and chit in the place has asked me that in the last two weeks. What you get your body back and your business is everyone else's? I just want to be left alone, well alone 'til it's time to kick some evil's ass. That is." I mumble out, it's the truth. I do just want to be left the hell alone, with my fags and booze.
Lorne chuckles at me. "Well, Spike I'll leave you alone then. Put out that cigarette, you know you're not supposed to be smoking in the building." He says over his shoulder as he walks away.
Like that's goin' to happen.