Haunted by Memories
Chp. 6
Disclaimer and other info in first chapter
Song is in {} * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Watching me, wanting me}
As I look down from the ceiling, where I was sending a silent prayer to a god who forgot me over a hundred and twenty years ago. I look at the bottle still resting lightly in my hands, and that bleeding song is still playing. Feel like going and staking myself, it's so depressing it makes me want to go and dust myself. As I think about it, the next line of the song reminds me of a few years back.
I watched her, for so long and had wanted her for a lot longer. I always thought I'd never have her, which if I think about it. I never really did, at least not in the way I wanted her.
I remember the first time I told her I loved her. Mind you now I think about it, prolly wasn't the brightest idea I had. Far from it, but I had to make her listen to me. I remember tellin' her that I was drownin' in her. I meant it then and I mean it now. I'm just drownin' in the memories of her, now though. She's also still mostly all I think about, but now it's mixed in with how can I annoy Angel today. I smirk at that, 'cause I've done mostly everything I can think of without getting to repetitive.
All the shit I've put ole Peaches through, and I'm still not all dusty. It's a wonder he hasn't staked me good and proper yet. Bugger, I'm still unliving, so I guess he either wants or needs me around. Who knows he may just let me stay because he can torture me just the same. What with every time the Slayer is brought up he says something like, she was never yours, or you never had anything with her. It hurts and he knows it.
Just thinking about it. God I hope that Buffy is all right, where ever she may be. Peaches still hasn't deemed me worthy of knowing where she is, hell she could be standin' right beside me and he wouldn't say, " Hey, Spike, Buffy's standin' right beside you."
I hate this not knowing and not getting my spot of violence while she was at my back. It was much better with her there. Now I have Angel and his crew, along with those soddin' lawyers always showing up and getting people we save to sign all those bloody papers and the picture takin' totally bloody, buggering insane.
As I take another sip of, well actually another huge mouthful from the bottle. I finally get fed up with the music and shout at whoever will listen, "What in the bleedin' hell will it take for you bloody gits to shut this soddin' song off? Will it ever fucking stop?" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(A.N. Sorry there was no update yesterday. I was out of town, and my
sister doesn't have Internet connection.) Hope you guys enjoyed this
one. I promise I will update tomorrow.
Chp. 6
Disclaimer and other info in first chapter
Song is in {} * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Watching me, wanting me}
As I look down from the ceiling, where I was sending a silent prayer to a god who forgot me over a hundred and twenty years ago. I look at the bottle still resting lightly in my hands, and that bleeding song is still playing. Feel like going and staking myself, it's so depressing it makes me want to go and dust myself. As I think about it, the next line of the song reminds me of a few years back.
I watched her, for so long and had wanted her for a lot longer. I always thought I'd never have her, which if I think about it. I never really did, at least not in the way I wanted her.
I remember the first time I told her I loved her. Mind you now I think about it, prolly wasn't the brightest idea I had. Far from it, but I had to make her listen to me. I remember tellin' her that I was drownin' in her. I meant it then and I mean it now. I'm just drownin' in the memories of her, now though. She's also still mostly all I think about, but now it's mixed in with how can I annoy Angel today. I smirk at that, 'cause I've done mostly everything I can think of without getting to repetitive.
All the shit I've put ole Peaches through, and I'm still not all dusty. It's a wonder he hasn't staked me good and proper yet. Bugger, I'm still unliving, so I guess he either wants or needs me around. Who knows he may just let me stay because he can torture me just the same. What with every time the Slayer is brought up he says something like, she was never yours, or you never had anything with her. It hurts and he knows it.
Just thinking about it. God I hope that Buffy is all right, where ever she may be. Peaches still hasn't deemed me worthy of knowing where she is, hell she could be standin' right beside me and he wouldn't say, " Hey, Spike, Buffy's standin' right beside you."
I hate this not knowing and not getting my spot of violence while she was at my back. It was much better with her there. Now I have Angel and his crew, along with those soddin' lawyers always showing up and getting people we save to sign all those bloody papers and the picture takin' totally bloody, buggering insane.
As I take another sip of, well actually another huge mouthful from the bottle. I finally get fed up with the music and shout at whoever will listen, "What in the bleedin' hell will it take for you bloody gits to shut this soddin' song off? Will it ever fucking stop?" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(A.N. Sorry there was no update yesterday. I was out of town, and my
sister doesn't have Internet connection.) Hope you guys enjoyed this
one. I promise I will update tomorrow.