Haunted by Memories
Chp.11
Disclaimer is in first chapter
Song is in {}
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Your heartbeat pounding in my head}
I'm sure if it could've, it would've that night when Spike came to me in that not so abandoned house. It would've been deafening, but he had no heartbeat. It would have been pounding so hard, that's probably the only thing I could've heard.
I wonder how many times he had just wanted to hold me like he did that night, and I wouldn't let him. I guess now I'll never get to ask him.
When I confronted him about it in the kitchen the night after it happened, he told me he was terrified. I believed him, because I could see it there in his eyes. He was terrified of that night, and the conversation that we were having because of it. I have to smile when I remember that he said ' It was the best bloody night of my life, and it terrified me.' If I'd had known that it was going to be one of the last nights I'd be in his arms. I would have told him it was one of the best nights of my life also. I wish I would've told him a lot of things.
He tied not to show his fear, hiding behind the Big Bad façade, but when you know someone as well as we knew each other. Could read what we could with just one glance at each other, you can see the fear like a big, bright, flashing Vegas neon light. Boy, was that light a bright, shining through those big, blue eyes of his.
He was so totally terrified, and I'm sure that if he looked hard enough, he seen that same fear inside my eyes also.
Truthfully, I was terrified that I was gonna lose him. In that moment I figured out that my feelings for him ran deeper, than I had thought.
I knew that he was in my heart like I told Angel later, but seeing that fear in his eyes. I knew that it was more than that. I knew I loved him, and still do, everyday and especially at night. He's in my mind, body, and soul. I can't shake him, even if I wanted too.
The worst part of my life was also the best part, because he was there with me. He made life fun. He made life right. He was life when I had none.
Chp.11
Disclaimer is in first chapter
Song is in {}
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Your heartbeat pounding in my head}
I'm sure if it could've, it would've that night when Spike came to me in that not so abandoned house. It would've been deafening, but he had no heartbeat. It would have been pounding so hard, that's probably the only thing I could've heard.
I wonder how many times he had just wanted to hold me like he did that night, and I wouldn't let him. I guess now I'll never get to ask him.
When I confronted him about it in the kitchen the night after it happened, he told me he was terrified. I believed him, because I could see it there in his eyes. He was terrified of that night, and the conversation that we were having because of it. I have to smile when I remember that he said ' It was the best bloody night of my life, and it terrified me.' If I'd had known that it was going to be one of the last nights I'd be in his arms. I would have told him it was one of the best nights of my life also. I wish I would've told him a lot of things.
He tied not to show his fear, hiding behind the Big Bad façade, but when you know someone as well as we knew each other. Could read what we could with just one glance at each other, you can see the fear like a big, bright, flashing Vegas neon light. Boy, was that light a bright, shining through those big, blue eyes of his.
He was so totally terrified, and I'm sure that if he looked hard enough, he seen that same fear inside my eyes also.
Truthfully, I was terrified that I was gonna lose him. In that moment I figured out that my feelings for him ran deeper, than I had thought.
I knew that he was in my heart like I told Angel later, but seeing that fear in his eyes. I knew that it was more than that. I knew I loved him, and still do, everyday and especially at night. He's in my mind, body, and soul. I can't shake him, even if I wanted too.
The worst part of my life was also the best part, because he was there with me. He made life fun. He made life right. He was life when I had none.