Chapter 22   The Board is Set

Beep!

Halfway through her frantic rewiring, Defea's comm screen began to beep. 

"D'Arvit!" she hissed, scrambling to get out of her cramped position.  Wires wrapped around her legs; she flailed and fell.  "Gah!"

Beep!                                              

A hand helped untangle the mess she had created, and guided Defea out of her tiny hole.  Simone's voice was laden with not-so-hidden mirth.  "A centaur trying to squeeze into a hole too small for a five year old?  Very amusing."

Beep!

"Ahh, shut up and pretend you've been drugged.  I think that's Kegel."  Defea paused as she reached for the screen.  "You can act, right?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?" Simone asked sarcastically. 

"No idea.  Now, get on that couch and out of sight until I'm ready for you!" 

Beep!

Defea slapped the on button.  "Who is it?" she growled, then brightened.  "Oh, Kegel dahhling."

The Mud Man frowned.  Defea seemed to be her usual stuck up self.  Not a good sign. 

"Defea.  You only have two days left, and I haven't seen any technology.  Are you going to fix that, or do I need to take Grub to a doctor and have his health checked?" 

"Well, I was busy, but someone interrupted me for a stupid call."  She bared her teeth at Kegel for a second, then continued.  "And to answer your question, I do have something you might want to see."  She disappeared off the screen and seized Simone's arm.  "Come on."

"Urg." Simone groaned, stumbling slightly.  Her eyes were half open, unfocused, and her hair mussed.  After gazing blearily at Defea for a second, she straightened up and grinned.  "Is that acceptable?"

"Fine; come on!"

Defea pulled Simone in front of the screen.  "Is this a pleasant surprise?" she asked sweetly. 

Kegel's jaw landed somewhere around his ankles.  "Ack!!"

"I thought so."  The centaur's smile was very smug. 

"Y-you…" Kegel's throat worked furiously.  "You can't have her!  Her father just left to go visit her at that Fowl Manor place!!  If she's not there, Mr. Badeau is liable to put all of Ireland in prison!" 

"More room for me." Defea quipped.  "Shame.  I really get along with her very well.  Especially when she's drugged."

"What do you have her for, Defea?!  She has nothing to do with this!" Kegel shouted.  His face was the same shade red that Foaly's commander always wore. 

"Odd, that's what I said about Grub." Defea muttered.  "Anyway, I just want a little trade.  Nothing more."  Defea pushed Simone in the direction of the couch and away from the screen.  Once out of sight, Simone opened her eyes and wandered over to where Defea had been working, absentmindedly combing her hair with her fingers.   

"A trade?"

"Yes, a trade.  Grub for your boss's daughter.  Can you do it?" 

"I should have known you'd pull something like this." Kegel snapped.  "All right, a trade.  Unfortunately, I can't get to our regular meeting place until tomorrow.  It is late here, you know." 

"As long as you keep Grub a complete secret between now and then.  If I hear anything about fairies, I'll kill the girl."  Defea suddenly pulled a large, double barreled gun from under the table.  Kegel gulped audibly. 

"Right.  I won't say a word.  Don't kill her." 

"All right, then.  Tomorrow night, midnight." 

"Midnight?!"

"See you at the regular place.  Bye!"  Defea switched off the screen and smirked.  Before Kegel could think of calling back, she unplugged the screen. 

"Are you really going to trade me?" Simone called from the tiny cubby.  "Because if you are, I'm quitting this right now."

"No, no trade.  The LEP will be here before then." Defea explained.  "You see, I have an 'electronic eye' on Foaly.  He recently left the Operations Booth, and hasn't returned.  That was more than an hour ago.  Since the paranoid idiot never leaves that booth except for missions, he must be coming with the LEP here.  So, we have a few hours at most to get ready." 

"Oh joy."

Defea regarded the lanky girl curled up in the tiny crack and laughed.  "A 14 year old in a hole too small for a sprite?  Very amusing." 

"Oh, shut up and hand me that welder." 

**********

 Artemis sat in the back of an LEP shuttle, frowning.  Root and Holly were up in the cockpit, talking to the other team over the comm.  He turned to Foaly, who was leaning back in his seat, tinfoil hat tilted over his eyes.

"Foaly?" he asked, trying to get the dozing fairy's attention.

"What?" came the grumpy reply of a centaur who had not slept in 28 hours.

  Artemis ignored the tone.  "You know this Defea better than all of us.  What exactly is she capable of?"

Foaly sat up quickly.  "What exactly do you mean?" he asked dramatically.  "Capable of killing Simone if she's cornered?  Capable of blowing us all up as we try to rescue the Mud Maid?"

"Actually, I was going to ask if she's capable of detecting us as we land an LEP shuttle in her backyard and lug twenty pounds of computer equipment to her front door, but any of your questions work just as well."

"Oh." Foaly said, wind taken out of his sails.  "Well, yes."

"To which question?" Artemis asked patiently.

"All three."  Foaly paused thoughtfully.  "No, I don't think she'd kill the girl.  She is certainly fussy about messes in her house."

Root slid out of the cockpit and stomped back to the passenger area.  "Do you mean to tell me that we are basing our plan of attack on your belief that Defea won't kill the Mud Girl because it would make a mess?!"

Foaly nodded, unperturbed by Root's ranting.  "You know how women are, Commander.  Even the smart ones really don't go for chaos and mayhem, much less blood."

"Funny." Artemis said dryly.  "Captain Short doesn't seem to have a problem with mayhem."

"I heard that, Mud Boy!" came a low growl from the cockpit.  "Now, if you boys are done with your psychoanalysis, will someone please explain to me exactly what the plan is?  How close should I get to her house?"

Artemis walked up to the cockpit and slid smoothly into the copilot's chair.  Root and Foaly followed, stopping at the door to the cockpit.  Foaly couldn't fit in it anyway, and the human was in Root's seat.  His annoyed mutterings were ignored by the rest of the group as Holly clicked on the comm panel so the other team could hear.

Trouble waved.  "While we're talking about the plan, tell me:  What kind of human security measures should we expect?"

Juliet rolled her eyes.  "Uh, hello?  We're talking about INTERPOL here."

Mulch rolled his eyes in return.  "Uh, hello?  We're talking about human vs. fairy here.  The Mud People haven't invented a security system I can't crack."

Artemis stopped Root's angry bellow with an upraised hand.  "You can probably expect acoustic and infrared sensors, access-control points, dead-end corridors, flashing strobe lights, fog generators, noise generators, sirens, as well as steel-plate, concrete-filled, steel-reinforced cinder block walls.  And, naturally, bullet-proof windows."

There was dead silence in both shuttles.  After a moment, Holly rubbed the bridge of her nose.  "Do we even want to know how he knows this?"

Mulch coughed.  "You know, I've just seen the silver lining to being a legitimate, hard-working dwarf.  Ta-ta."  Before he could take a step, Juliet seized the back of his shirt. 

"Nice try, but you're not going anywhere.  Now." she grinned.

Trouble motioned to one of the windows, showing the fiery walls of Chute F5.  "Oh, if he really wants to get off, let him." 

Mulch shrugged free of the girl's grasp and sulked in a corner of the cockpit.

Trouble grinned at the dwarf's predicament, but sobered quickly.  "So how do we get in?" he asked. 

Artemis glanced over at Mulch.  "I thought we'd let the Mud People security expert take care of the situation."  Mulch looked up and glared at the teen.

"If you're joking, that's cruel.  If you're being sarcastic, then that's even worse."  

"I hate to interrupt," Holly snapped, "But we're almost to Defea's house, and I bet Trouble's getting close to the surface."

Artemis nodded.  "All right.  Here's how it's going to work."

**********************

AN: All right, everyone, we'd like to thank you all for your wonderful ideas for titles. 

ASN: However, we're planning to wrap up this contest, so if you have any bright ideas, tell us ASAP!

AN: Now, if not sooner. 

ASN: *Rolls eyes* Right.  And now for the preview. 

"All right, you two, stop fighting and help me get this set up.  Defea is sure to have some sort of complicated computer code lock, so we have to be able to break it."

Root dropped his piece of gear and frowned.  Foaly winced.  "Are you sure?" the elf asked.  "You'd think some high tech lock would be covered in wired and flashing lights, not-" he glanced at the door, "red and pea green checkers."

AN: And there you have it. Enjoy this segment, and we'll see you later. 

ASN: We'd crack a couple jokes, but we're too tired.