Hello again, kenshin fans!
Love and sheer appreciation to those who have reviewed…. You are the only reasons that this chapter is going up. You rock my socks!!!!!!!
I've decided to answer a few of the
reviewers q's about last chapter:
Cat Foxglove: Kaoru is 19 at this point: 2 years with Kenshin
in her dojo, 10 years of Kenshin's wandering where
she trained with Saitoh, which means she was about
seven when Honda died. She was a child spy in the Bakumutsu,
easy to come by and easy to dispose of. Yes, it's AU, but in the same time
period as the actual story.
Tanuki-San: YOU ROCK J I was so afraid that no one would get what I was doing….. I'm so glad, and relieved, that somebody did!
Sango Himura: yes, I know, only one more chapter after this one… but if I make it any longer, it just wouldn't fit! Thanks so much for the kind review!
Kibou eien: Thanks for reading and sticking with me!
Hungry Sano: awww… thanks! *blushes* I wanted it to turn out well, we'll just see how it goes.
I3al3yanime: hope you like where this is going!!
This story has been going by really
fast and will be done soon……………… It's
just been a joy to write it!
Me: Kenshin, do I own you?
Kenshin: no, I don't believe so, de gozaru yo…
Me: *waves 10 dollars in Kenshin's face* NOW do I own you?
Kenshin: ughhh…. 10 dollars?! Sessha is quite insulted!
Me: this is a reminder to all you greedy corporate moguls out there. Depicted from the following scene, Lara-Chan is a broke, ff writing, college student, and there is no point in suing her for the owning, or the lack thereof, of one, Rurouni Kenshin.
Well, on with the story:
Last chapter summary * Kaoru contemplates her 'love' for Kenshin and the inner workings of her past were revealed*
My inner spy was right. If I wanted to keep any of my self respect, this object of desire, this Kens-…Battousai must be taken care of. Having emotions hurt too much. I must be ice again.
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It is possible to move like the shadows upon the wind. Quiet yourself…listen to your breathing and the lull of the crickets. Become one with the earth, imprisoned by its beauty. Let time roll over you like water down a rainspout, and now stop motion all together. Time freezes, and somewhere between a moment and a heartbeat, you are free. Without the constraints of time, you can roam the uncharted areas of the mind. But what happens when time crushes you underfoot and breaks your dreams…and bones? So often wasted, so little used, time laughs at our pathetic human ways, as it counts the sand speeding through the hourglass.
The moonless sky invited me in to its serene bliss. It took it upon itself to become one with me and quiet my reckless soul. The chaos that churned inside me, deepening my sorrow with each step, was numbed by the absence of that yellowish orb. I took out a long box from the back corners of my closet and unsheathed my katana.
I had been but a youth when I last beheld it… it stood there shimmering like a sword of justice, my family name scrawled across its tip. I was so naïve back then. No more, no longer would I bury my head in the past. Vengeance tastes like sake. Vengeance can make you drunk, too. I was so self righteous as I slipped on the black gi and covered my face with a black mask. Tying my slick black hair back I became a walking angel of death. I smiled to myself, 'Kaoru, before long it will be over. You are Kami-Sama's judgement personified. You will deliver unto the sinner what is due. Battousai dies tonight and you can become cold once again.'
I floated down the hall like an apparition towards his room… his light breathing came through the doorways. He was helpless, I knew. I could do away with him in no time. Placing my hand on the paper thin wall, my instincts began to kick in. All at once I was upon his sleeping form, sword unsheathed, and then a din of metal careened through the a-….
'Wait, din of metal?' I thought. 'Battousai should be in two by now!' I looked down, expecting to see blood on the form, and instead, saw my katana clash a shining katana. He was standing in an instant, his amber eyes glowed with the fires of Hades… all at me.
"Who are you," he growled, "and what do you want here?" I had nothing to say. I backed up into an offensive position, and let my sword rip through the air towards him. He blocked it with graceful efficiency, while protecting all of his vitals. The force of his defense sent my flying back across the room.
"Why must you torment us?" his eyes began to darken more, "If you're here for my Kaoru, prepare to die. You will not taint her!" What had he just said? Taint me? HIS KAORU?! I was the ICE! No one OWNS ICE! 'This will end' I thought.
"Battousai," I grumbled, trying to disguise my voice, "I wouldn't think of the girl any longer, her past will be your undoing. You should concentrate on righting your soul to meet the judgment that is Kami-Sama." and with that, I ran out the dojo door through the woods, with the angry ex-assassin on my heels.
The night air cut through my lungs and made my muscles ache with the passion of the eminent kill. I was so sure of myself. Tree branches whacked my petite frame as he chased me through the forest. I stopped in a clearing devoid of trees, and raised my sword. The rain was beginning to fall ever so slightly, making my gi stick to my cold, wet skin. Battousai traipsed into my ring of death.
"How dare you talk about her." He said in an animalistic tone, "you have no right, you base assassin. You don't know what justice is!"
"I? I don't know what justice is, Kenshin? Me of all people? Well, I guess we're both about to find out." I didn't try to change my voice at all, just let the reality soak in. His amber eyes were loosing their ferocity and his hair was matted to his forehead with rainwater and sweat.
"K….K….Ka-" rurouni said. I pulled off the black mask and threw it on the damp ground. His eyes….so much pain in those eyes…
I didn't care. He had his sword hanging at his side and I charged, charged with all my might, in a blind rage. I knocked him over on his back, flat on the ground, and held my sword straight to his delicate throat.
"But Kaoru-dono, why?" he said, clear and unafraid.
"WHY? Poor rurouni doesn't remember his long list of sins? I'd be happy to remind him." a sardonic smile crept upon my face. "You killer. You cold blooded, ruthless killer. And then you think you can just wash off the blood of the innocent like you wash the soap from your clothes? So your little rurouni soul is nice and clean now, huh?" I poked the sword a little closer to his neck. "huh? Answer me!"
"Kaoru-Dono, sessha didn't mea-"
"Cut the sessha shit out! I don't wanna hear about your little guilt trip any longer, you self righteous bastard!" he started to say something. "Don't speak. Just listen. You cannot forget those lives you stole, as if they aren't a part of you! As if you don't carry the heavy guilt wherever you go! You remember a man named Honda back in the bakumatsu?"
"There were so many people back in the bakuma-"
"IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" I screamed. "Battousai, you, and your two hands, and that katana you swore to protect me with… you killed my brother Kamiya Honda." His eyes flashed with recognition. He began to sink deeper and deeper into the ground. I went on. "My kind, sword fearing brother, you slaughtered mercilessly on the red river streets of Edo. What regrets. Do you have any idea how many sleepless nights I've spent with Honda's ghost? Driving me nuts! I can't take it any longer, you must PAY!"
Kenshin Himura looked up at me with helpless doe eyes. "Kaoru." A long pause ensued. Then finally, "Kaoru. I never meant to cause you, or any living thing any pain. I know I can never atone for all my sins, and I was willing to try… to live peacefully." he faltered, then continued onward, "But each tear you cry is like a thousand katana's pushing into my body. I love you, Kaoru, and I always will. There's not a thing you can do about it. I know you better than you know you, and I love you for everything you are and everything you're not. I won't fight with you. I want you to feel better…. I want you to be happy, to live. To give joy to someone like you have given joy to me. If you have to kill me to do it, then don't delay any longer."
"It was smart of you not to fight me, Kenshin. Would you care to close your eyes?"
"No, I'd rather die staring at your lovely face."
The sword was right there, on that unbroken flesh. A little closer and the lifeline, the string of fate that holds us to this world, would snap in two for Battousai. I edged the blade closer to his neck, the Kamiya scrawled on the tip flickered and shone brilliantly in the rain. A small trickle of crimson began to flow down battousai's neck, staining his gi.
Just then a sharp pain went through my heart. At the sight of his blood, my eyes grew wide and I choked. Something inside me clambered up from the depths of my soul and was screaming inside my head. Just a little more pressure…. A little more and it all would be over. I could go on living without Kenshin Himura.
I could go on without Kenshin Himura.
Without Kenshin Himura.
I could not
I could not go on
I could not go on without Kenshin Himura.
Hot tears began to stream down my flustered face. I flung Honda's sword to the side, away from the man I had formerly known as battousai. I felt my legs give out and crumple underneath me, as my fists beat the earth in pain and agony. Kenshin stared on, not knowing what to do. I looked into his placid eyes. I had been…such a fool. A fool to think that people don't change, that time can't make all the difference.
"Kenshin… I'm so sorry. Can you…..ever……..forgive me?" I stuttered between sobs. My whole body shook for what felt like an eternity. He did not answer. I placed my face in my hands and shut out the world, knowing I had driven away the only person who genuinely cared for me.
Suddenly, I felt two strong arms encircle my little body. The soft sleeve of someone's pink gi began to wipe the tears from my face. "Kaoru-dono," my rurouni said placidly, "You…. You are the universe, and I am just a lonely star."
"Kenshin…..?"
"Yes, Kaoru-dono?"
"I….uh…..I love you…I love you so deeply…..." I kept repeating the heavenly words like a mantra, while my right hand held his neck, trying to stop the blood flow.
"I love you, too, Karou. And I always will." His forgiving arms held me as the rain beat down on us. We were two lovers, held in sheer bliss for a moment in time, suspended above our inevitable fate. We did not know how precious this moment was, or how much we should treasure it.
Over across the clearing, leaning against an ancient tree, stood a watchful wolf shielding his cigarette from the downpour that was upon him. He contemplated the two innocent forms in front of him, his prey. They would make a nice meal, he thought, such blissful deer clinging to each other benevolently. The lone wolfs eyes pierced the storm.
THIS IS NOT DONE!!!!! In fact, the last chapter is written and typed up on my computer, waiting to be sent to ff.net. want it? HAH! You must review first!
……………………..please?
I wuv u all!!
Well, 'till next time, and remember, reviews=last chapter