AN: Sorry about the late update. I had a friend over for the past day or two, and it's gotten pretty hectic. Our microwave died.
ASN: So they've been lugging a 60 pound piece of machinery around, and I've been safely at my house!
AN: Braggart.
Chapter 32 Au Revoir
Simone came down the stairs with a silent wraith, but her reunion with her father was anything but silent.
"Daddy!" she called delightedly as she ran to him. She shamelessly flung her arms around him. "I've missed you so."
"I've missed you too, darling." he said. At the word darling, his daughter frowned in thought. She had heard someone call her darling a lot lately…but who?
"How has everything been?" Badeau pressed. "Are you happy?"
"Well, the Fowls have been very nice to me." Simone said, giving Artemis Sr. and Angeline a wide smile. She very obviously ignored Artemis Jr. He didn't care.
"But…I'm sort of homesick." she admitted. Badeau gave a nod of understanding.
"If it's all right with you two, I'd like to talk to Simone alone. We'll see how she's feeling." he said, standing up. "After all, I wouldn't want to force her to stay if she's uncomfortable."
Artemis Sr. smiled indulgently. "Of course. Take your time."
Badeau left with Simone, and pulled her into a corner in the hall. "What do you mean by 'homesick', dear?" he asked.
"I mean, I'd like to come home because I can't find anything about them." she answered, a little irritated. "I've tried being nice; I've tried sneaking around; about all I haven't done is offered to help them plan out a crime!"
"So," Badeau was floored, "You're telling me that they have no incriminating documents anywhere?"
"They are completely and utterly clean." Simone said. "About the only thing wrong is Arty."
"What about him?"
"He's a jerk."
Badeau opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. "Ah."
"Are you sure I can't come home?" Simone begged, clasping her father's arm and looking at him innocently. "I really miss you and Mother so much. The Fowls aren't much of a replacement."
After a moment of hesitation, Badeau spoke. "You haven't been able to find anything? At all?"
Simone's shoulder slumped, and she scowled. "No, Daddy. Nothing. At all. I even went through Artemis's hard drive with our new hacking program, and found nothing. By the way, it works very well; he didn't detect it." A frown crossed her face. But…he had found out about the program, hadn't he?
"I used the hacking program you left at the manor to get the plans. It's much safer to use the original blueprints, after all."
Simone's frown deepened. She could almost see the scene in her mind, but as she reached out to grab it, it faded into nothingness. She shrugged mentally. Must have been a dream. A bad dream.
"Anyway," she continued, "Everything I've gone through has been perfectly legitimate, and fairly boring."
Badeau was traumatized, though he worked hard not to show it. "You mean, they have gone straight?"
"I am truly, genuinely sorry to say it, as I would like nothing better than to throw Artemis in a juvenile detention center for the next five years, but yes, they seem to have gone straight." Simone batted her eyelashes at her father, and then added her pout. "Please, Daddy, can I come home? This is nothing but a waste of time. Besides, I don't like Ireland. It's too green, and not enough city."
Badeau studied his little girl. Simone looked up at her father, hope brimming in those huge brown eyes. The final touch. "Please, Dad?"
He knew he was being manipulated, but he didn't really care. "Okay, sweetie. I'll take you home with me today."
"Yeah!" Simone hugged her father happily. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Badeau raised an eyebrow at the emotional display.
"You really don't like him, do you?"
"Nope." Simone released him. "What are you going to tell the Fowls?"
Badeau just walked back into the parlor and saw the elder Fowls deep in discussion with the younger.
"You could have just told me she was a colleague, Artemis." Angeline said a little crossly, "You encouraged the idea that she was your girlfriend!"
The Artemis in question looked distinctly peeved. "I did nothing of the sort, Mother." As much as Badeau hated to interrupt, he coughed slightly. The three looked up. Artemis looked faintly relieved, which was the first human expression Badeau had seen him make all day.
"Artemis Sr., Angeline," he began, "Simone seems very homesick. It's not any reflection on you, but she would like to return to Paris. Besides, my wife misses her terribly."
"Yes," Artemis Sr. said as he placed an arm around Angeline's shoulders, "And we know how important it is to please your wife." The smile he gave Badeau informed the Inspector that Fowl Sr. knew exactly why Simone was leaving. "However, should Simone ever decide to come back…"
Angeline gave the girl a hug. "We'll always have room at the Manor for you, dear."
"I know." she said, hugging Angeline back. "Thank you for everything."
"Dear," Badeau said, "Would it be better if I just came and picked you up in the morning? After all, you have quite a bit to pack."
"No, it won't take that long." Simone said, heading for the stairs.
"I'm certain Juliet and Artemis would be happy to help." Angeline said with a significant look at her son. He didn't move from the couch.
"No, I've got it, thanks." Simone called back down. Angeline turned to Badeau.
"Well, then, will you stay for dinner?" she asked. "If I know anything about girls, it'll take Simone at least an hour."
"That's sounds wonderful. In the meantime, I was wondering what you've gotten into, Artemis, now that you've escaped the Mafiya. I assume it's nothing to do with cola."
Artemis Sr. nodded. "No, I've decided to become more visible in my business ventures, and to leave Russia out of them. I've actually formed a currency trading partnership with a few men from Paris. Very high placed, upstanding, respected gentlemen. Perhaps you know them?"
By this point, Artemis Jr. decided to leave before his mother could corner him and before Badeau started asking uncomfortable questions. He headed up the stairs to his room. Holly met him at the top.
"She's leaving?" she asked quietly. He nodded. "Talk about a stroke of luck."
"Yes." Artemis paused for a moment, then headed down the hallway. Past his room.
"Uh, Arty?"
"Don't call me Arty."
"Right. Fowl, your room is that way."
"Congratulations, Captain, you've been here long enough that you can finally find your way around." He continued walking. Holly followed.
"You know, you should be a little happier. After all, Simone is leaving." An evil grin spread across the elf's face. "Unless you don't want her to leave."
Artemis's shoulders stiffened. "Captain…"
Holly decided that line of conversation was getting a little too dangerous, and changed the subject. "The way you ducked Simone's swing earlier was pretty impressive for a weak Mud Boy like yourself."
Artemis glanced at her impassively. "I'm beginning to recognize the look." he said dryly.
"Are you telling me I look like the Mud Maid?!" Holly said, quite offended. Artemis smirked.
"Only when you're angry."
Holly's eyes darkened. "Oh, really? And tell me, what do I look like now??"
"You look like you need to perform the Ritual." Artemis responded. "Your skin's becoming transparent."
The Mud Boy did have a point. "You can be such a pain sometimes." she said huffily as she readied her wings to zoom out the hall window.
"So everyone keeps telling me." Artemis replied as he stopped in front of a door.
*************
AN: I know it stops abruptly, but it's hard to cut it up, and I'm a little frazzled.
ASN: We got our first flame today.
AN: Whoever it was sent it to my email address, so it wasn't a review all of you can read. But it threw me for a loop, I can tell you.
ASN: I thought you were supposed to give suggestions on how to improve the reader's work, not insult them and fanfic writers in general.
AN: She complained about how we are stealing Colfer's ideas, and how we should be original. It was actually fairly immature, but it was still a little hurtful. Sorry, I didn't mean to dump all that on you guys.
ASN: But, that's why we have no funny jokes and cracks today. Sorry to disappoint, but we just aren't in the mood.
"I read through your entire hard drive." Simone bragged. Her grin widened as she saw Artemis start. "Your security system was very easy to get through, though I don't know why anyone would bother protecting such boring documents."
"My…entire hard drive?" he repeated, his frown deepening.
"Yes, your entire hard drive. And your father's. There was no evidence of illegal activities anywhere. It was very unsatisfactory. I was so looking forward to matching wits with the infamous Fowls. But instead it appears you really have gone legitimate. How very disappointing."