Hi, me again, thanks to ryofan for reviewing my other story, Even in Death, the second chapter to that isn't going up till I get at least five (5 yes 5) reviews,

Now this is a story that in an odd way, is exactly how I feel at the moment, it's in Duo's POV, and has parts of lines from Linkin Park (--I don't listen to them but my friend does and I'm at her house) and the characters are NOT MINE YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID LAYWERS!!!!!!! NOT MINE *curls up in a corner and weeps softly…

//when I look into your eyes,

Theres nothing there to see,

Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me,

Asking why…//

"she is the most gorgeous girl, no change that, unearthly, unequally gorgeous girl in the whole earth and colonies," he said to me

I didn't care

I loved him,

// no matter what you see,

Your still so blind to me…//

She would hurt him, they all did, but I wouldn't say anything. I never did. But I was jealous, always jealous, when he talked about them, especially this one, the had met online. But after they met… well she started to get all whiny and bitchy towards him, so he put her on 'probation,' I knew what she was doing, and why. She didn't like him anymore. But I did, I always would.

"And there she was putting red streaks in my hair, and she was standing right in front of my in a tank top, that was really low on her chest,"

I wasn't really paying attention anymore, just sort of wishing I was with him. The last time I saw him, he was with his new friends, and when I said hi to him, he just blew me off. They were cooler then me, and I knew it. Later, I say him standing my himself, and he came over, gave me a hug, and asked how I'd been, he was nice to me till his friends came back, then he left.

//this constant apprehension,

wont seem to go away,

All my talk of starting over,

These words were never true,

Now I find my self In question…//

"I started out looking down at the ground, then when she moved my head so she could do the front of it, I looked to the far left, towards the door."

I just wished that I had been there, it was me in front of him, with him, not her. But Heero wasn't like that. Heero wasn't gay. I kissed him once. But only once. He kissed me back, but after that, he left quickly, and that was the last I saw of him, till now

// I watch how the moon,

sits in the sky on a dark night,

Shining with the light from the sun,

But the sun doesn't give light to the moon,

Assuming the moon's gonna owe it one…//

"well now I have red streaks in my hair-"

"I bet they look awesome" I say interrupting him, "but I gotta go, I'm almost home, and have to cook dinner for myself.."

"oh, okay, maybe I'll see you later,"

"yea, later.."

Then I hung up my phone, I had been his only friend for so long, then he left after the war. I cried a lot then. But never around Quatre, Wufei, or Trowa. Even though I think Quatre heard me at times when I stayed at his house, he never said anything though. Now I walk in to my room, forget dinner, I think to myself, forget them all. I sit down on my bed, and reach into my boot pulling out the knife concealed there. I thought I was over him, but I never would be. Not now, not ever, I realized. Looking at the knife I made my decision. To end everything, no I wouldn't mess up this time, I thought as I dragged the knife across my wrist, lightly the first time, a little harder the next harder and on the next I drew blood. It felt good to feel the warm blood running down my arm, felt so good, I switched hands, leaving my wrist bleeding strongly, I started on the other wrist feeling the cold hard metal running across my skin, piercing it, then drawing blood.

// this is my December

This is my snow covered home

This is my December

This is me alone again…//

Glancing up I thought, I wonder when they would miss me, then I looked back down at my bleeding wrists, I was getting tired, I laid down on my bed. My blood loss was reaching the critical stage now, I reached over to my phone and hit redial. It rang and rang. Then the answering machine picked up.

"hey this is Heero, sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep." said the voice on the machine

"I love you Heero" I forced the words out, hoping the machine picked them up, and with a ragged breath, I forced my last words, "please, please forgive me…

Wow, that was kinda random at the end, but when I read it over, parts that were supposed to be thought by Duo really sounded like Heero and vice versa. Things got a little confusing for me at the end, I was like well I wanna die right now, so lets take it out on the main character… if you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me have em'  love flames  (feel the warmth) but till next time, JaDe Une