Title: Wishes Are For Dreamers
Author: Yih
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.
Beta: Quickjewel
~
6: Composing Music (August 18, 2003 to August 21, 2003)
"Tainted" by Yih
I see perfection before me
I hesitate to approach it
My touch is tainted
You say it doesn't matter
Don't you see?
Don't you know?
Don't you recognize?
I am nothing
You are everything
There is no hesitation in you
Your steps don't slow
You make the first move
You approach me
I push you away
I try to show you
I am not good enough
I am not for you
You refuse to give up
You persist onward
I glimpse into a vision
The perfection of you
Don't you see?
Don't you know?
Don't you recognize?
I am nothing
You are everything
He despised love songs. They held no meaning for him, yet strangely this song spoke to him. It was the song that was the most near to being complete, which was why he had attempted to finish it. Finish it he did to his utter amazement. The song had been written painstakingly. Every word, every note had taken hours to find the right inspiration.
It was only half complete and that had taken 6 months. He finished the rest in a few hours. It wasn't one of the fastest songs he had written, but it was definitely a mad crazy muse moment. The rush was incredible. It was like an overpowering wave that kept cresting over and over again. No drug, nothing came near the feeling of pure creativity.
He bent his head down over the keyboard as he concentrated on playing the last few notes. The ending was soft but beautiful. Aching. Longing for what he knew he couldn't have but that he wanted anyway. On the last note, he allowed himself to smile. It was a beautiful song, even if it was a love song. It held as much meaning as he could possibly put into a song such as this.
It was when he removed his fingers from the keys, he heard a pair of hands clapping. His eyes shot across the room to where his desire was standing looking even more delectable to the eyes. Good lord what had Draco done? He'd turned the innocent Harry into a sophisticated young man. Seeing Harry like this made it that much harder for him to convince himself that Harry was too young.
He didn't look too young, not that Harry would be interested in an old man like himself. He knew the type that Harry would like. The sweet and kind girl around his age that would cling to his arm. Disgusting. That was why Severus' preferences never ran in that direction. Some females were decent, but most others were intolerable.
The moment, however, when those brilliant emerald eyes met his own dark ones Severus knew he was in deep trouble. Not only was he trapped by those mesmerizing orbs, he was captivated by the glimpse into the soul of the young man he'd gotten when Harry had played his composition. There was something very personal about performing for someone. For Harry, Severus knew it'd been very personal.
He couldn't help but examine the gorgeous man in front of him. It was his undoing. The longer he looked, the more he couldn't look away. No wonder the song had come so easily to him. His subconscious had been whispering to him his secret yearning. It was for this beautiful boy that he had no right to be looking this way at. For all he knew, Harry was decidedly straight.
The fact that Harry wasn't looking away was reassuring him. A thrill ran down his spine when he saw the telling blush on Harry's face. The blush had to have a reason behind it. Was it possible that Harry was turning red because of the way he was staring blatantly at him? Very possible. And if he wanted to be positive and admit it to himself, Harry was looking at him in a manner quite similar to the way he'd been staring.
"That was beautiful," Harry murmured throatily. "Is that the song you're going to perform at the award show?"
Severus nodded slowly. He was overcome by the epiphany that the song he'd written had not been written about Harry, but had become about Harry. It was just one of those things that had happened out of the blue. It kind of made sense as to why it had always been so difficult to finish the song. He just hadn't had the right kind of inspiration.
But would Harry approach him? "I've never heard a song like that from you," Harry commented softly. "But it's a lovely composition. It's different, but the music is achingly poignant. It's very much you."
The part of him that was sarcastic and unwilling to believe in anything that was worthwhile sneered at the compliment. However, the believer in him still wanted to think that it was possible that such a young innocent thing like Harry might possibly see something in him. What a vain hope, but he still had it. If he didn't have this positive side in him, it would have been impossible to continue through life.
"Thank you," Severus murmured. "You look good."
"He looks better than good," Draco drawled as he entered into the room behind Harry. "He simply looks delectable. He turned out to be more gorgeous than even I suspected. If I leant in that persuasion, I'd be falling head over heels. Even as it is, I'm tempted."
Harry blushed hotly, not knowing why Draco was being so obvious about his sexual preference. He had no doubt in his mind that Draco had seen the way he'd been shyly glancing at him throughout the shopping spree. He knew that Draco wasn't homosexual, but that didn't have to stop him from appreciating his beautiful form, did it? No.
Of course, the way he'd been fixated in staring at Severus wasn't helping either. Draco might make him drool, but Severus definitely made him salivate. There was something about Severus that Harry couldn't quite place his finger on. It wasn't that Severus was gorgeous; he didn't quite have Draco's natural good looks. But there was something very distinctive about the older man. Stern and commanding--- it radiated.
Damn Draco. It was clear to anyone who had eyes that Harry was more than delicious to the eyes, but why did Draco have to make it so obvious that he would be interested? From the way that Harry was blushing, Severus could tell that the hints were affecting Harry. He now had no doubt in which way Harry leaned, but that still didn't mean he would do anything. For god sakes, Harry was young enough to be his son!
It wasn't right for him to even be thinking of Harry in that way. Not right at all! But he couldn't help it, not when Harry looked like that. Malfoys and their manipulative skills were simply unbeatable. Still he couldn't give in to the temptation. He had the resolve to ignore his desires. "If you will excuse me," Severus remarked coolly, "I need to continue practicing the piece if I'm to play it in two day's time."
Draco nodded with a telling smile spreading over his lips. What was Draco up to? Severus was mildly alarmed, and his suspicions were instantly confirmed when Draco opened his mouth. "I'm sure if you're just practicing, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind having Harry stay and watch you. Would you? After all, this is his week with you."
"He can stay," Severus grumbled out grudgingly. "But you've got to leave. I can only concentrate so much with so many people in the room."
Draco grinned and winked conspiratorially at Harry. "No problem, I've got to do something for father anyway. Have fun Harry."
Awkward was how Harry would describe the room immediately after Draco had departed. It was like they were being forced together, and Harry didn't really know why. He kept getting the feeling that Draco was hinting that Severus would like him in that way but that seemed impossible. Was it a possibility that his idol leaned in the same direction as he did?
No one was breaking the infiltrating silence with words. Instead, Severus bent his head down again with intense concentration on his face and started playing the beginning notes of his new song. The lullaby was not soothing and not as deeply driven as most of his other songs, but it had this convincing beat to it. It wasn't hard to get wrapped up into the song. And when Severus began to sing, it was all over.
His music was brilliant, but his voice was perfection in Harry's mind. If there was a perfect voice in the universe, it was Severus'. It didn't matter if Severus was talking or singing, Harry wouldn't turn away from that deep but not too deep masculine voice. It captivated and entrapped him just as it was doing now. With the music, the voice, and the lyrics it was no wonder that he was drawn so intensely to Severus Snape. What more could anyone want?
There was nothing more he'd rather do than to sit here and listen to Severus sing. This was what he wanted more than anything else in the world other than to get to know Severus personally. He thought he'd kind of gotten there earlier until Lucius had interrupted them. Would it continue or would they have to start all over again? How hard would breaking the silence be?
It was when Severus' fingers lightly touched the last keys of the song that Harry decided that this would be the best chance for him to approach Severus. Carefully and cautiously he moved close to where Severus was sitting and with a daring he didn't know he had, he started playing the beginning of the song. Somewhere along the way he found himself not really looking at Severus' notations and instead manipulating them to make a more distressing song than it had been.
The song just spoke of desperation to him. A feeling of a hopelessness that there seemed to be no answer to. His notes tended to take a sharper edge to it than the music had originally encompassed and while he still used most of the notes that Severus had scribbled on the sheet music--- there was a good bit that he changed. Before Harry knew it, he was ending the song.
Dread filled him. Impossible dread. What had he been thinking when he had dared to change what the brilliant Severus Snape had written? Was he crazy? Was he mad? He lifted his eyes up to meet Severus' dark eyes, hoping beyond hope that Severus wouldn't be offended by his boldness. "I'm sorry," he whispered meekly. "I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to."
Harry was sorry for his talent. That was something Severus had never seen before that he could remember. Maybe there had been one time, but having no humility was a rare characteristic in the lifestyle that he had. It was a sweet relief. A cleansing difference. And with that modesty there was genuine talent. Harry had actually made the song more dramatic, more aching.
"You had nothing to be sorry about," Severus remarked throatily, his lips speaking the words into Harry's ear with delicate precision. To be this close to the young man was pure torture and it only confirmed his worse suspicions. He was lusting for a boy at least twenty years his junior, and it wasn't only physical attraction. If it was just that, he could fight against it. It was mental as well. The boy had wit and talent. Harry was going to be the death of him.
"You don't," he assured once more since Harry still had that look that said he didn't believe him. "There are not many people that have genuine talent like you do. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide it. Besides," he rested his hand on Harry's shoulder, "you made the song better, and any true musician wants the music to be better not worse."
Harry blushed hotly, a feeling of intense warmth spreading throughout his body. "Thank you," he said softly, not really knowing how to react to a compliment from his musical inspiration. "But I really had no right to change your music. And it's not that my alterations are any better than yours, it's just that they're different. Musical tastes are different and varied, which is why music is so diversified."
He was making excuses. It was utterly adorable. "Your changes were better," Severus stated firmly. "The music I composed was only really a rough draft. You've definitely given me something to think about while I brush up the song for the award show." A disarming smile graced Harry's face as he couldn't do anything but return the genuine grin on Severus' lips. "I'd really like it if you played it again." Part of himself really couldn't believe that he was saying this to Harry, then again it wasn't often that he met someone like Harry. Someone that he was attracted to that had more than the physical attributes to make them desirable to him. "Play," he urged, trying to keep the commanding nuance out of his tone, "please."
For a moment Harry hesitated before finally deciding to sit down on the bench next to Severus. At first it was hard for him to do it, but then he remembered that his time on Earth was limited and that he should live it to the fullest. Who cared if he made a fool of himself? There was only so much time left and if Severus wanted him to play for him, he'd play.
This time he put more of his emotions behind the music that he was playing, more of himself behind it. It wasn't hard for him to play this song. As he played it, he instinctively heard the lyrics going over and over again in his head in Severus' throaty voice. He didn't know who Severus was writing the song for, but to him it spoke to him of Severus. No wonder it was easy to make it more desperate, more emotionally driven.
The way Harry was playing the music, there was a passion that made it impossible for Severus to look away. There was a fire in Harry's sparkling green eyes that burned into his soul. How rare it was to find someone like this, who could play music like this---- who was physically what he was looking for. Lucius no doubt had something to do with this. Lucius was always trying to set him up with someone.
But this couldn't happen. Harry was too young, and it would be disastrous for his career if it ever got out that he was a homosexual. His fans might be accepting of his bisexual rumors, but that wasn't quite as limiting as confirmation of his crookedness. Why would Lucius risk his career like that? He didn't really care as long as he got to write music, but Lucius would.
Then again Lucius was his best friend, the only true friend he could count on nowadays with his fucking fame. A Malfoy was a Malfoy was a Malfoy, but Lucius did care about him--- a lot. When Narcissa had died, Lucius had clung to him. They had even renewed the romance they had had before Lucius had fallen for Narcissa. It'd lasted a year or so before they decided they were definitely better as friends. Severus knew Lucius would want him to be happy, but with a man two decades his junior?
"How long have you been playing?" Severus queried offhandedly when he noticed that Harry was no longer playing. "The piano? Do you play any other instruments?"
Severus wasn't the only one that noticed how close Harry was to him when Harry turned his head to face him to answer him. Harry was very aware of how close Severus was, the sex symbol that he dreamed of to get off--- and even more important, his life's inspiration. "I've played," Harry answered softly, "the piano since I was 3, and I also play the violin and the viola. I enjoy the piano more because it's easier to compose, but there's something equally special about the violin to me. It's just sometimes more intense."
Only another musician could understand what Harry was talking about, but Severus did. Listening to Harry talk about music was making it hard to keep his slight erection down. The problem was that while Harry's voice wasn't very deep, it had a medium but masculine pitch to it that was incredible to hear. "You've been playing for a long time," Severus commented thoughtfully. "I'd like to hear you play the violin sometime. It can be very intense, but I've always been more passionate on the piano."
"What other instruments do you play?" Harry queried in a low voice, his eyes slanted downward in a shy position. "I take it you play the violin as well?"
Severus nodded. "I did. I play the guitar some, but I really only enjoy playing the piano. Unlike most musicians, I don't really like playing on other instruments. Other say I'm limited and that I should explore more into others, but I like the piano best. I always have."
Too close, Harry thought, his heart racing as he calculated that he was close enough to steal a kiss from the sexiest rock star alive. Did he dare? He risked offending Severus, but then again he'd never get a chance like this again. Besides, the signals Draco had been sending him about Severus were clear. He'd been dressed this way to entice Severus and it looked like he'd gotten to his muse more than a bit. It secretively pleased him greatly. He wasn't used to dragging compliments from people. Mostly he got comments about how unruly his hair was.
Oh what the hell! Throwing all caution aside, Harry reached up with his hands and cupped Severus' face. It had to be the song. Those darn lyrics. Those damn words. They just seem to speak to him, and it seemed to him that if he wanted Severus he would have to go after him. It wasn't like he was going to lose anything, when would he get a chance like this ever again?
Oh, he had something to lose he thought as he melted into the wonderfully delicious taste of Severus Snape. He had his mind to lose. He had his very being. He was drowning in flavor of Severus. In the back of his mind, he was vaguely aware that Severus wasn't pulling away from him. Small relief.
That was his last capable thought when he felt Severus' tongue part his mouth and dive into his own wet warmth. He had to be dreaming, could it really be that his sex god was kissing him back? He was. He had to be in a fantasy. Why would Severus Snape ever want to be kissing him? But he was--- oh bloody hell he was.
~
Author's Note: All your responses were wonderful! I live for feedback! Any suggestions for what you'd like to come next, what you think is coming is all appreciated. You can actually sway me in this story since -cough- I'm not writing ahead. Sorry that this was out a little late. My beta didn't get back me so this is w/o any betaing. If there are mistakes--- deal with it. And updates without feedback will only get progressively more slower.
Thanks to newtypeshadow, Suburb Angel, Eaiva le Fay, slytherinsela, Alicorn1 (I like some of it, I'll give you credit if I use any of it. thanks! I'm probably gonna use it), Raven, Starlina, athenakitty, crissy, Faby, TommieBoy182, The Shadow Bandit, kathy stggvk (harry and leather is always good), pixyfairy120, Lady Phoenix Slytherin, Baby Sphinx, Erica, Corgi1, snaper, mySakurazukamori (Ron will be in somehow), Maximum Poofy- Queen of AU (ha I update with a chapter instead of a chapter note ;p), Redrum, Ms. Padfoot (5 was actually 200 words longer than the rest),
Indzan: Thanks -blushes- I love that you're throwing suggestions around! Unfortunately if you see the date, I finished this chapter almost a week ago. But keep suggesting, it always helps!
Anisdeltoro16: Your suggestion came late, 3 days later but keeps suggesting, it always helps. I love reading them and thinking about them.
Queen of Vegetasei: Your suggestions are good. -winks- Will try to have more chapters, definitely.
Jane: I stink in the best way it seems. I think this cliffhanger's not so bad, but it lingers. Naw, it's pretty bad isn't it? MOP is the "Mirror of Paradox" it's my other older and more popular HP/SS story.
Katmint - formerly Moonlight: I won't tell you anything about the ending because I haven't even thought that far ahead. I'm only one chapter ahead of you guys.
Tempest8: I didn't even think of having Severus flip out about the cost. Oh well ^_^.
Setsuri: I 'ship Harry/Voldemort too, but this story is definitely Harry/Severus. No worries on that.
Jes Imagin: Heh, that's definitely something I could do. We'll see. I don't really want to make Harry famous though. I don't think he'd like it. His gryffindor modesty and all.
Malakai: You got the boost of self confidence well, besides Harry's a gryffindor--- he'd do something bold like this. At least I think so. Besides, too much internal thoughts methinks need some action!
Author: Yih
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.
Beta: Quickjewel
~
6: Composing Music (August 18, 2003 to August 21, 2003)
"Tainted" by Yih
I see perfection before me
I hesitate to approach it
My touch is tainted
You say it doesn't matter
Don't you see?
Don't you know?
Don't you recognize?
I am nothing
You are everything
There is no hesitation in you
Your steps don't slow
You make the first move
You approach me
I push you away
I try to show you
I am not good enough
I am not for you
You refuse to give up
You persist onward
I glimpse into a vision
The perfection of you
Don't you see?
Don't you know?
Don't you recognize?
I am nothing
You are everything
He despised love songs. They held no meaning for him, yet strangely this song spoke to him. It was the song that was the most near to being complete, which was why he had attempted to finish it. Finish it he did to his utter amazement. The song had been written painstakingly. Every word, every note had taken hours to find the right inspiration.
It was only half complete and that had taken 6 months. He finished the rest in a few hours. It wasn't one of the fastest songs he had written, but it was definitely a mad crazy muse moment. The rush was incredible. It was like an overpowering wave that kept cresting over and over again. No drug, nothing came near the feeling of pure creativity.
He bent his head down over the keyboard as he concentrated on playing the last few notes. The ending was soft but beautiful. Aching. Longing for what he knew he couldn't have but that he wanted anyway. On the last note, he allowed himself to smile. It was a beautiful song, even if it was a love song. It held as much meaning as he could possibly put into a song such as this.
It was when he removed his fingers from the keys, he heard a pair of hands clapping. His eyes shot across the room to where his desire was standing looking even more delectable to the eyes. Good lord what had Draco done? He'd turned the innocent Harry into a sophisticated young man. Seeing Harry like this made it that much harder for him to convince himself that Harry was too young.
He didn't look too young, not that Harry would be interested in an old man like himself. He knew the type that Harry would like. The sweet and kind girl around his age that would cling to his arm. Disgusting. That was why Severus' preferences never ran in that direction. Some females were decent, but most others were intolerable.
The moment, however, when those brilliant emerald eyes met his own dark ones Severus knew he was in deep trouble. Not only was he trapped by those mesmerizing orbs, he was captivated by the glimpse into the soul of the young man he'd gotten when Harry had played his composition. There was something very personal about performing for someone. For Harry, Severus knew it'd been very personal.
He couldn't help but examine the gorgeous man in front of him. It was his undoing. The longer he looked, the more he couldn't look away. No wonder the song had come so easily to him. His subconscious had been whispering to him his secret yearning. It was for this beautiful boy that he had no right to be looking this way at. For all he knew, Harry was decidedly straight.
The fact that Harry wasn't looking away was reassuring him. A thrill ran down his spine when he saw the telling blush on Harry's face. The blush had to have a reason behind it. Was it possible that Harry was turning red because of the way he was staring blatantly at him? Very possible. And if he wanted to be positive and admit it to himself, Harry was looking at him in a manner quite similar to the way he'd been staring.
"That was beautiful," Harry murmured throatily. "Is that the song you're going to perform at the award show?"
Severus nodded slowly. He was overcome by the epiphany that the song he'd written had not been written about Harry, but had become about Harry. It was just one of those things that had happened out of the blue. It kind of made sense as to why it had always been so difficult to finish the song. He just hadn't had the right kind of inspiration.
But would Harry approach him? "I've never heard a song like that from you," Harry commented softly. "But it's a lovely composition. It's different, but the music is achingly poignant. It's very much you."
The part of him that was sarcastic and unwilling to believe in anything that was worthwhile sneered at the compliment. However, the believer in him still wanted to think that it was possible that such a young innocent thing like Harry might possibly see something in him. What a vain hope, but he still had it. If he didn't have this positive side in him, it would have been impossible to continue through life.
"Thank you," Severus murmured. "You look good."
"He looks better than good," Draco drawled as he entered into the room behind Harry. "He simply looks delectable. He turned out to be more gorgeous than even I suspected. If I leant in that persuasion, I'd be falling head over heels. Even as it is, I'm tempted."
Harry blushed hotly, not knowing why Draco was being so obvious about his sexual preference. He had no doubt in his mind that Draco had seen the way he'd been shyly glancing at him throughout the shopping spree. He knew that Draco wasn't homosexual, but that didn't have to stop him from appreciating his beautiful form, did it? No.
Of course, the way he'd been fixated in staring at Severus wasn't helping either. Draco might make him drool, but Severus definitely made him salivate. There was something about Severus that Harry couldn't quite place his finger on. It wasn't that Severus was gorgeous; he didn't quite have Draco's natural good looks. But there was something very distinctive about the older man. Stern and commanding--- it radiated.
Damn Draco. It was clear to anyone who had eyes that Harry was more than delicious to the eyes, but why did Draco have to make it so obvious that he would be interested? From the way that Harry was blushing, Severus could tell that the hints were affecting Harry. He now had no doubt in which way Harry leaned, but that still didn't mean he would do anything. For god sakes, Harry was young enough to be his son!
It wasn't right for him to even be thinking of Harry in that way. Not right at all! But he couldn't help it, not when Harry looked like that. Malfoys and their manipulative skills were simply unbeatable. Still he couldn't give in to the temptation. He had the resolve to ignore his desires. "If you will excuse me," Severus remarked coolly, "I need to continue practicing the piece if I'm to play it in two day's time."
Draco nodded with a telling smile spreading over his lips. What was Draco up to? Severus was mildly alarmed, and his suspicions were instantly confirmed when Draco opened his mouth. "I'm sure if you're just practicing, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind having Harry stay and watch you. Would you? After all, this is his week with you."
"He can stay," Severus grumbled out grudgingly. "But you've got to leave. I can only concentrate so much with so many people in the room."
Draco grinned and winked conspiratorially at Harry. "No problem, I've got to do something for father anyway. Have fun Harry."
Awkward was how Harry would describe the room immediately after Draco had departed. It was like they were being forced together, and Harry didn't really know why. He kept getting the feeling that Draco was hinting that Severus would like him in that way but that seemed impossible. Was it a possibility that his idol leaned in the same direction as he did?
No one was breaking the infiltrating silence with words. Instead, Severus bent his head down again with intense concentration on his face and started playing the beginning notes of his new song. The lullaby was not soothing and not as deeply driven as most of his other songs, but it had this convincing beat to it. It wasn't hard to get wrapped up into the song. And when Severus began to sing, it was all over.
His music was brilliant, but his voice was perfection in Harry's mind. If there was a perfect voice in the universe, it was Severus'. It didn't matter if Severus was talking or singing, Harry wouldn't turn away from that deep but not too deep masculine voice. It captivated and entrapped him just as it was doing now. With the music, the voice, and the lyrics it was no wonder that he was drawn so intensely to Severus Snape. What more could anyone want?
There was nothing more he'd rather do than to sit here and listen to Severus sing. This was what he wanted more than anything else in the world other than to get to know Severus personally. He thought he'd kind of gotten there earlier until Lucius had interrupted them. Would it continue or would they have to start all over again? How hard would breaking the silence be?
It was when Severus' fingers lightly touched the last keys of the song that Harry decided that this would be the best chance for him to approach Severus. Carefully and cautiously he moved close to where Severus was sitting and with a daring he didn't know he had, he started playing the beginning of the song. Somewhere along the way he found himself not really looking at Severus' notations and instead manipulating them to make a more distressing song than it had been.
The song just spoke of desperation to him. A feeling of a hopelessness that there seemed to be no answer to. His notes tended to take a sharper edge to it than the music had originally encompassed and while he still used most of the notes that Severus had scribbled on the sheet music--- there was a good bit that he changed. Before Harry knew it, he was ending the song.
Dread filled him. Impossible dread. What had he been thinking when he had dared to change what the brilliant Severus Snape had written? Was he crazy? Was he mad? He lifted his eyes up to meet Severus' dark eyes, hoping beyond hope that Severus wouldn't be offended by his boldness. "I'm sorry," he whispered meekly. "I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to."
Harry was sorry for his talent. That was something Severus had never seen before that he could remember. Maybe there had been one time, but having no humility was a rare characteristic in the lifestyle that he had. It was a sweet relief. A cleansing difference. And with that modesty there was genuine talent. Harry had actually made the song more dramatic, more aching.
"You had nothing to be sorry about," Severus remarked throatily, his lips speaking the words into Harry's ear with delicate precision. To be this close to the young man was pure torture and it only confirmed his worse suspicions. He was lusting for a boy at least twenty years his junior, and it wasn't only physical attraction. If it was just that, he could fight against it. It was mental as well. The boy had wit and talent. Harry was going to be the death of him.
"You don't," he assured once more since Harry still had that look that said he didn't believe him. "There are not many people that have genuine talent like you do. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide it. Besides," he rested his hand on Harry's shoulder, "you made the song better, and any true musician wants the music to be better not worse."
Harry blushed hotly, a feeling of intense warmth spreading throughout his body. "Thank you," he said softly, not really knowing how to react to a compliment from his musical inspiration. "But I really had no right to change your music. And it's not that my alterations are any better than yours, it's just that they're different. Musical tastes are different and varied, which is why music is so diversified."
He was making excuses. It was utterly adorable. "Your changes were better," Severus stated firmly. "The music I composed was only really a rough draft. You've definitely given me something to think about while I brush up the song for the award show." A disarming smile graced Harry's face as he couldn't do anything but return the genuine grin on Severus' lips. "I'd really like it if you played it again." Part of himself really couldn't believe that he was saying this to Harry, then again it wasn't often that he met someone like Harry. Someone that he was attracted to that had more than the physical attributes to make them desirable to him. "Play," he urged, trying to keep the commanding nuance out of his tone, "please."
For a moment Harry hesitated before finally deciding to sit down on the bench next to Severus. At first it was hard for him to do it, but then he remembered that his time on Earth was limited and that he should live it to the fullest. Who cared if he made a fool of himself? There was only so much time left and if Severus wanted him to play for him, he'd play.
This time he put more of his emotions behind the music that he was playing, more of himself behind it. It wasn't hard for him to play this song. As he played it, he instinctively heard the lyrics going over and over again in his head in Severus' throaty voice. He didn't know who Severus was writing the song for, but to him it spoke to him of Severus. No wonder it was easy to make it more desperate, more emotionally driven.
The way Harry was playing the music, there was a passion that made it impossible for Severus to look away. There was a fire in Harry's sparkling green eyes that burned into his soul. How rare it was to find someone like this, who could play music like this---- who was physically what he was looking for. Lucius no doubt had something to do with this. Lucius was always trying to set him up with someone.
But this couldn't happen. Harry was too young, and it would be disastrous for his career if it ever got out that he was a homosexual. His fans might be accepting of his bisexual rumors, but that wasn't quite as limiting as confirmation of his crookedness. Why would Lucius risk his career like that? He didn't really care as long as he got to write music, but Lucius would.
Then again Lucius was his best friend, the only true friend he could count on nowadays with his fucking fame. A Malfoy was a Malfoy was a Malfoy, but Lucius did care about him--- a lot. When Narcissa had died, Lucius had clung to him. They had even renewed the romance they had had before Lucius had fallen for Narcissa. It'd lasted a year or so before they decided they were definitely better as friends. Severus knew Lucius would want him to be happy, but with a man two decades his junior?
"How long have you been playing?" Severus queried offhandedly when he noticed that Harry was no longer playing. "The piano? Do you play any other instruments?"
Severus wasn't the only one that noticed how close Harry was to him when Harry turned his head to face him to answer him. Harry was very aware of how close Severus was, the sex symbol that he dreamed of to get off--- and even more important, his life's inspiration. "I've played," Harry answered softly, "the piano since I was 3, and I also play the violin and the viola. I enjoy the piano more because it's easier to compose, but there's something equally special about the violin to me. It's just sometimes more intense."
Only another musician could understand what Harry was talking about, but Severus did. Listening to Harry talk about music was making it hard to keep his slight erection down. The problem was that while Harry's voice wasn't very deep, it had a medium but masculine pitch to it that was incredible to hear. "You've been playing for a long time," Severus commented thoughtfully. "I'd like to hear you play the violin sometime. It can be very intense, but I've always been more passionate on the piano."
"What other instruments do you play?" Harry queried in a low voice, his eyes slanted downward in a shy position. "I take it you play the violin as well?"
Severus nodded. "I did. I play the guitar some, but I really only enjoy playing the piano. Unlike most musicians, I don't really like playing on other instruments. Other say I'm limited and that I should explore more into others, but I like the piano best. I always have."
Too close, Harry thought, his heart racing as he calculated that he was close enough to steal a kiss from the sexiest rock star alive. Did he dare? He risked offending Severus, but then again he'd never get a chance like this again. Besides, the signals Draco had been sending him about Severus were clear. He'd been dressed this way to entice Severus and it looked like he'd gotten to his muse more than a bit. It secretively pleased him greatly. He wasn't used to dragging compliments from people. Mostly he got comments about how unruly his hair was.
Oh what the hell! Throwing all caution aside, Harry reached up with his hands and cupped Severus' face. It had to be the song. Those darn lyrics. Those damn words. They just seem to speak to him, and it seemed to him that if he wanted Severus he would have to go after him. It wasn't like he was going to lose anything, when would he get a chance like this ever again?
Oh, he had something to lose he thought as he melted into the wonderfully delicious taste of Severus Snape. He had his mind to lose. He had his very being. He was drowning in flavor of Severus. In the back of his mind, he was vaguely aware that Severus wasn't pulling away from him. Small relief.
That was his last capable thought when he felt Severus' tongue part his mouth and dive into his own wet warmth. He had to be dreaming, could it really be that his sex god was kissing him back? He was. He had to be in a fantasy. Why would Severus Snape ever want to be kissing him? But he was--- oh bloody hell he was.
~
Author's Note: All your responses were wonderful! I live for feedback! Any suggestions for what you'd like to come next, what you think is coming is all appreciated. You can actually sway me in this story since -cough- I'm not writing ahead. Sorry that this was out a little late. My beta didn't get back me so this is w/o any betaing. If there are mistakes--- deal with it. And updates without feedback will only get progressively more slower.
Thanks to newtypeshadow, Suburb Angel, Eaiva le Fay, slytherinsela, Alicorn1 (I like some of it, I'll give you credit if I use any of it. thanks! I'm probably gonna use it), Raven, Starlina, athenakitty, crissy, Faby, TommieBoy182, The Shadow Bandit, kathy stggvk (harry and leather is always good), pixyfairy120, Lady Phoenix Slytherin, Baby Sphinx, Erica, Corgi1, snaper, mySakurazukamori (Ron will be in somehow), Maximum Poofy- Queen of AU (ha I update with a chapter instead of a chapter note ;p), Redrum, Ms. Padfoot (5 was actually 200 words longer than the rest),
Indzan: Thanks -blushes- I love that you're throwing suggestions around! Unfortunately if you see the date, I finished this chapter almost a week ago. But keep suggesting, it always helps!
Anisdeltoro16: Your suggestion came late, 3 days later but keeps suggesting, it always helps. I love reading them and thinking about them.
Queen of Vegetasei: Your suggestions are good. -winks- Will try to have more chapters, definitely.
Jane: I stink in the best way it seems. I think this cliffhanger's not so bad, but it lingers. Naw, it's pretty bad isn't it? MOP is the "Mirror of Paradox" it's my other older and more popular HP/SS story.
Katmint - formerly Moonlight: I won't tell you anything about the ending because I haven't even thought that far ahead. I'm only one chapter ahead of you guys.
Tempest8: I didn't even think of having Severus flip out about the cost. Oh well ^_^.
Setsuri: I 'ship Harry/Voldemort too, but this story is definitely Harry/Severus. No worries on that.
Jes Imagin: Heh, that's definitely something I could do. We'll see. I don't really want to make Harry famous though. I don't think he'd like it. His gryffindor modesty and all.
Malakai: You got the boost of self confidence well, besides Harry's a gryffindor--- he'd do something bold like this. At least I think so. Besides, too much internal thoughts methinks need some action!