Left Behind by Silver on the Tree

Chapter Four

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: The Dark is Rising Sequence and all its characters belong to Susan Cooper, and I would never take credit for her wonderful work. This plot does belong to me, though.

Whatever, just because my mom's of the Dark he looks at me like that, like it's something to get depressed about…just because he's of the Light. They don't know anything about the Dark…just because to them…But then…Mom really did love us, didn't she?

Anika stopped running. She did, the voice in her mind replied firmly, blocking out any other possibility. She did.

I just want to go home…I want to get away from this darned place and all its cold and wet and mist and fog…I wish we were back together, Ate and Ditche and Kuya and I, and Lolo and Lola…everything's wrong here, I wish we'd never come…not that that was my choice, anyway.

Little by little, her anger collapsed into misery, as she continued to walk home.

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Will watched Anika's running figure disappear rapidly around the corner, and stared still even after she was gone.

"That was a very good start," he thought out loud.

Sighing, he tilted his head back and glanced up at the rooks nesting in the tree. "Don't you agree?"

He continued to look up at them for a couple of seconds, then finally got up, dusted the snow off his rear and walked home.

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Anika unlocked the door to her house, took off her wet things and flopped wearily on the couch.

She didn't even want to think of what had happened just ten minutes ago. It was true, she couldn't deny that, but it just wasn't something she wanted to think about right now.

Damn, it's so cold in this country…and wet, and everything. There isn't enough snow to play with or anything, and once you've gotten used to it there's nothing special, it's just a  nuisance, and it's depressing…

She glanced at the fireplace. And there's this useless old thing, we don't even know how to make a fire, so if there's a black-out we'll freeze to death…

She looked up at the ceiling.

I wonder what it's like, to get to sit in front of the fire, after you've been out in the snow a really long time, maybe after you've had a snowball fight with your friends or maybe your family, and then your mom makes you hot chocolate or something…all those Christmas songs make it sound so nice…and you probably don't end up feeling as lonely as I do right now…

There was a crackling sound. Anika bent her head to her left, then sprang up and backwards in shock so that the couch moved.

She felt a sensation of both warmth and coldness filling the room, and stared at the fire blazing in the fireplace. Some of the flames had a normal appearance, yellow, red, orange, while others were an icy blue. The colors shifted and moved around within the boundaries of the flames, completely distinct from one another, like oil and water just poured into a glass, still swirling around and around.

Anika became aware of a mounting feeling of panic, as she suddenly knew it was she who had created this fire.

This is not happening…How am I supposed to…oh, just get out!

And the fire disappeared as suddenly as it had come.

Anika stared at it, wide-eyed. Then she got up shakily and ran up the stairs.

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Anika bolted into her room, slammed the door and collapsed against the wall, panting.

She drew up her knees against her chest then held up the palms of her hands and looked at them.

She could feel it now; a force flowing through her veins; a source of immense power and energy that she knew next to nothing about, over which she had no control.

She had no idea what to do, and sat still, hoping perhaps that if she remained motionless and did nothing, nothing would happen, nothing could trigger whatever powers she contained. She felt absolutely helpless, at the mercy of it all.

That's all I am…a container…I can't do anything if this nuclear stuff pours out of me…I'm a careless mistake, that's what I am, but unlike my brother and sisters, there was no time for me to be corrected…

She let out a frustrated sigh, like a breathy sort of whine and clenched her fists. As if hormones wasn't bad enough! I don't want this, never wanted this, I don't want this at ALL!

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"Anika? Anika, if you want to sleep you should sleep on your bed, you'll get sore if you sit on the floor like that…" a voice said.

Anika felt a hand shaking her gently and opened her eyes groggily.

Katherine squatted in front of her.

"I'm awake," she replied, yawning. "I can't believe I fell asleep, I didn't even mean to."

"Are you all right? You seem really tired."

"Yeah, I'm okay, I probably still have jetlag."

"Well, sleep some more then. If you don't wake up in time for dinner I'll just heat it for you when you do wake up," Katherine replied.

"Okay, Ate." Anika got up slowly, stretching, then crawled into bed.

Katherine stood up then closed the door as she left.

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It was morning. Anika snuggled under the sheets, reveling in the comfort and safety of her bed.

Then she remembered.

Will Stanton…Old Ones…Dark…Light…quest…victory…Mom and Dad.

The burden she had been carrying the day before made itself known once more. But this time, everything showed itself with a little more clarity, and she was no longer under the influence of her emotions. At least, not as much as she had been yesterday. As far as she was concerned, being emotional was as good as being drunk.  And right now she was still miserable, but she wasn't exactly enraged or in shock.

Mom and Dad…so now she knew what had happened to them. It was unfair, that because of them their children had had to suffer, that because of them, she and her brother and sisters had had to grieve…she felt her anger growing in her again. Or was it really anger, or was it bitterness? All right, so she was still pretty emotional…

And how had they ended up together? That was what she'd like to know. And, well, frankly, how could they have been THAT stupid? Not that she didn't appreciate them bringing her into existence, but…and anyway, they'd tried to fix what they'd done. They'd lifted the burden from her brother and sisters, it was just that it had been too late for her. And well…throwing all that aside, they'd been pretty good parents…

 And that fire…it still sent a chill down her spine, but that had come from her, hadn't it, and she wasn't afraid of herself  - well, not really – so why should she be afraid of that, even if it was multi-colored? I'd better tell Will about that…

Then a wave of horror washed over her as she realized.

Don't look at me like that. I don't need your pity…

Will! Oh, shoot, he hadn't deserved that at all, that was totally uncalled for…she had to apologize as soon as possible. Well, now that she thought about it, that was the Dark one in her talking yesterday, but still!

I wonder, now, will I always be either an Old One or a Dark one? Won't I ever be just Anika?

Anika made an irritated sound and sat up quickly, pushing the covers away, then jumped out of bed. I'm not thinking about it, I'm just going to eat breakfast, look for Will and say sorry. That's what Anika would do, at any rate.

"Morning, Ate!" she said cheerfully as she walked into the kitchen.

"Morning," Katherine replied, looking up from the newspaper, which was spread out on the kitchen table beside her coffee and a plate of pancakes. "The batter's still there on the counter, if you want pancakes."

"No thanks, I'll just have a peanut butter sandwich." Even though she was the head of the household, Katherine hadn't exactly morphed into the motherly type, and since here in England they couldn't afford a maid, Anika had had learned to live independently in some ways. Such as getting your own breakfast.

They ate silently, and Anika read the back of the orange juice carton as she chewed. It was a habit with her that if no one was talking and she hadn't brought anything to read, she just studied the label of the nearest object.

Finally she crammed the last bit of sandwich into her mouth, then said after she swallowed, "I'm taking a walk."
"Hey don't forget to wash your dishes first," Katherine replied without looking up.

"Oh yeah! Right, sorry." Who said Anika was completely used to living independently?

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Will had the feeling he should go for another walk again. He didn't understand why, exactly, he just had a feeling.

And so he sat quietly at breakfast through all the Stanton chatter, trying to finish his food as soon as possible.

Then, as he finished his last piece of bacon, he simply sat and waited for the right moment, when the noise level had died down a bit, when his mother would finish discussing whatever she was discussing with Gwen and Max.

It didn't look like they'd be done anytime soon, though, so he got up and stood behind his mother then cleared his throat.

"Mum, I think Will wants to say something," said Max, grinning up at him.

"Oh!" his mother turned around. "Yes, Will?"

"I'm so full," he told her, "Can I just take a walk?"

"Of course dear," Mrs. Stanton replied, smiling. "Just don't stay out too long."

"I won't. Thanks, Mum." Will put on his winter clothes and went out the door.

He didn't have to go very far to find out just why he'd had that feeling. There was Anika, running and skidding around corners again. She fell over, then got up and walked more slowly, wincing.

She's going to get a lot of bruises if she goes on like that…

Then her eyes widened with relief as she saw him, and her steps quickened.

Quite different from the Dark one we saw yesterday afternoon, Will thought.

"Will!" she called as she got nearer.

"Yes?" he replied as she halted before him.

"Hey, sorry…about yesterday…" she panted, looking quite flushed. "That was stupid, you didn't deserve that, it was totally impolite, I was overreacting…"

Will had to keep a smile of amusement from creeping onto his face. It really was funny, how her disposition today was completely the opposite of what it had been yesterday.

"That's all right, I understand," he replied.

Anika paused in her outburst of apologies and glanced at him. "Well…thanks…"

"Are you holding up all right?" Will asked.

There was a brief silence, then finally Anika replied, "More or less...to be honest, I didn't really want to think about it. And, well, there's one more thing about yesterday. I, um, kind of made a fire, in the fireplace."

Will looked at her sharply. "Were you thinking of fires, then? What happened?"

"Well, yes, sort of. But the strange thing was, part of it was blue, and part of it was like any normal fire, red and yellow and stuff. But then the colors kind of shifted, and I felt hot and cold at once. And…it scared me. Then I thought something like, 'Oh, just get out!' and it disappeared right away. I freaked out even more, and, I well, ran up the stairs," Anika finished sheepishly.

Will inwardly gave a sigh of relief, but it must have been evident on his face, for Anika was watching him now.

He felt like beating himself up again. Of course he shouldn't have let her run off like that, what with her emotions running that high! But then, his presence would only have irritated her further, and then something worse might have happened.

"Sooner or later, though," he said at last, "You're going to have to accept all this. You can't just push it out of your mind."

It was Anika's turn to sigh. "I know it's not that simple. I wish it was."

Will put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It's all right, Anika," he replied. "That's why I'm here to help you."
Anika gave a small smile. "Yeah, thanks."

A/N:

"Lolo" is Filipino for Grandfather and "Lola" is Filipino for Grandmother. And so…is it great or does it suck? Please oh please oh please review! ^_^