All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope. ~~Alexander Dumas
GHOST
He steps through the open door of the Hammer's infirmary and his dark eyes fall on the back of the woman hunched on a stool in the middle of the room. He frowns as it immediately strikes him how unlike her that is. The Trinity he knows and loves doesn't normally 'hunch.' She sits strong and proud, at times even defiantly so. This vision only serves as a reminder of the grim situation they have found themselves in.
Spotting a thin blanket on a nearby table, he picks it up and moves over to her. As he drapes it lightly over her narrow shoulders, he allows his hands to rest on them for a brief moment. To his surprise, she doesn't move. It's as though she isn't even aware of the added weight.
"Trinity," he says softly.
At that, Trinity turns her head toward him, but her eyes do not meet his.
"Ghost."
Though her voice is flat, he knows her well enough to tell she is surprised. She was not expecting to see him. She probably didn't even know the Hammer had found the Logos, much less that it needed to be found in the first place.
"We just came on board," he says quietly.
Nodding absently, Trinity shifts her focus back to the man in front of her.
The man she loves, he thinks with a pang of disappointment. Still, he bears no ill will toward him. How can he? Not only has Neo brought her the love and happiness she has long deserved, but he also just saved her life. For those two things alone, he can only be grateful to the man.
"How is he?" he asks after a long moment.
"No change."
Sensing her walls are firmly in place, he knows better than to force her into conversation right now. Instead, he patiently waits for a sign she is ready to talk and switches his attention to the form lying on the table near Neo.
Bane.
He isn't sure what to make of that situation. He knows Roland suspects Bane might have had something to do with the EMP being triggered prematurely, that he might have intentionally crippled the counterattack, but he knows the man well and finds that theory difficult to believe.
Difficult, but not impossible.
This war does unexpected things to people, shaping them in ways they aren't even aware of until some event occurs to bring those effects to light. Sometimes, the results are a pleasant surprise. Most times, they are not.
"You know about the Neb?" he hears her finally ask, her tone dull, her eyes still on Neo.
"Yes. I'm sorry, Trinity," he says softly, though he knows the well-meaning words will do nothing to assuage what she must be feeling right now.
Silence permeates the air, broken only by the steady beeping of the monitors nearby. Waiting for her to speak again, he revisits the events of the last few hours.
The Logos has just been through its own little adventure, though not one as ill-fated as the Nebuchadnezzar's. After doing their part to get Neo to the Source by destroying the power station, he and Niobe had exited the Matrix expecting to see results. Instead, they were greeted by Sparks' declaration that something had gone wrong and that everyone had vanished.
They had barely begun to digest that statement when the Oracle contacted them. Niobe went back into the Matrix to meet with her; when she jacked out, they had their own encounter with the sentinels. It was only after they set off their EMP and were forced to wait in darkness that they had a chance to consider what had happened.
Or hadn't happened.
Sparks, of course, had his own theories and wasted no time sharing them. He was certain the Vigilant had been destroyed. Maybe sentinels launched a three-pronged attack and, like the Vigilant, the Nebuchadnezzar had been destroyed as well. Maybe Neo hadn't had a chance to reach the Source. Maybe…
With the exception of telling Sparks to shut up, Niobe was mostly silent, seemingly content to analyze it all in her head. Though they asked, she didn't comment on her visit with the Oracle except to say that she was no less perplexing than usual. However, he sensed that his captain was trying to process what the Oracle had said - along with everything else.
For his part, he tried to avoid speculating too much about the fate of the Nebuchadnezzar or her crew, but he admitted to himself that it didn't look good. Assuming that Sparks was correct, and both the Vigilant and the Neb had been attacked by the sentinels in the same way the Logos had been, then chances were slim they survived it.
But there was always hope. There was always a chance Sparks was wrong. Until he had more to go on, he decided to hold on to that. He had to.
It wasn't long before his thoughts moved on to the apparent failure of the mission. Like the others, he wasn't sure what to make of it, but in the time he had, he was able to develop his own set of 'maybe's'.
Maybe Neo's mission wasn't a failure, but more a work in progress. Maybe it was a lesson in patience and the delay was just another example of the pitfalls of the human desire for instant gratification. Maybe Neo's journey to the Source was like a key being placed in a lock and rather than the immediate results they expected when he completed that journey, the key merely began a slow turn. Maybe the tumblers were still falling into place and all they had to do was wait.
Or maybe not.
He had just begun to explore other lines of thinking when he heard the familiar static of an approaching hovercraft. Someone had found them.
"Both the Vigilant and the Neb are gone," AK, the Hammer's operator, had solemnly informed them as he led them off the Logos and into the frigid ruins of the tunnel they landed in.
A sliver of fear ran through him and he glanced at Niobe. In the soft illumination provided by the Hammer, the look in her eyes had to have been mirrored in his own. To them, the Nebuchadnezzar's importance didn't lie solely in the fact that it carried the One within its shell.
"What the hell happened?" his captain had demanded.
"Squiddies," AK came back, nodding to the mass of metal tentacles resting in a mangled mess nearby. "The bastards stayed just out of EMP range then launched some sort of bomb. They never had a chance."
He could have decked Sparks when he added his two cents.
"I told you so."
"Shut up, Sparks!" Niobe snapped, tossing him a look of warning. Then she turned back to AK. "Survivors?"
He waited uneasily for AK's answer. It seemed to take an eternity.
"Four. All from the Neb."
He did the math in a millisecond. Every member of the Neb's crew seemed to be accounted for and he felt the relief flood him. Until AK continued.
"Three apparently unharmed, but one…"
He closed his eyes, only to see Trinity's face pass before him.
"Well, we honestly don't know what the hell is wrong with him. Maggie says he's in some sort of coma."
'Him.' 'He.'
He looked at Niobe expecting to see the realization hit her at the same time, but her face was impassive and he found himself wondering if she knew something he didn't.
"Morpheus?" he finally asked when she didn't.
"Neo," the operator returned gravely.
"What?"
His sentiment was simultaneously echoed by Sparks, who was shocked enough that he abstained from his usual smart-assed remark and instead resorted to a simpler expression of disbelief.
"Shit."
Niobe, on the other hand, remained silent. Still, he knew the implications of that revelation had to be processing in her mind, just as they were in his own. The One is down? How can that be? He's supposed to…
"That's not all," AK interrupted his thoughts. "The counterattack has failed."
Ghost could sense the hope begin to shrivel in his comrades and to his surprise, he felt his own inner calm waver.
"Son of a bitch," Niobe muttered as they climbed aboard the Hammer, "Where the hell is Roland? We need to -"
"He's with Morpheus and Link," AK cut her off. "They're waiting for you in the core."
The briefing had gone quickly. Impatient to hear what Roland and Morpheus had to say, Niobe started off by promptly confirming what Roland and Morpheus had already guessed had happened with the sentinels. Roland followed by bringing them up to speed on the failure of the counterattack and finding Bane.
Then it was Morpheus' turn to fill them in.
He listened intently as the captain began by explaining that Trinity had remained behind while he and Neo entered the Matrix, only to go in when Soren and his crew were killed. He was stunned as he heard the details of her battle with the agent, her death and subsequent resurrection. Never had he been more grateful for forces he didn't understand than at the moment Morpheus shared how Neo brought Trinity back to life.
After that, Morpheus swiftly moved on to explain how, after exiting the Matrix, they were targeted by the sentinels' bomb and lost the Neb. Finally came the account of how Neo managed to save their lives by somehow stopping the sentinels, only to collapse after doing so.
Though they had their questions, Roland brought the briefing to an end, wanting to continue things in the mess, where the remainder of the crews had already gathered to discuss their next step. While Niobe and the others headed there, he made a detour and came here.
Bringing his mind back to the woman sitting next to him, he studies her profile for a moment. Even as her gaze is fixed on some abstract point on Neo's chest, he can tell she's drained. In fact, he can't recall the last time he's seen her look so tired.
No, not just tired, he realizes suddenly. Deflated.
He knows from experience that she must be physically feeling the residual effects of her battle in the Matrix. But it isn't so much the physical effects of the last few hours he's worried about. His concern for her finally overriding the need to let her dictate the flow of conversation, he quietly speaks to her.
"How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine."
A hint of a smirk tugs at a corner of his mouth. He hadn't expected any other answer.
"You're not." It was a simple statement of fact, with no challenge or accusation in his tone. "You're exhausted."
"Isn't everyone?" she asks dully, her brows arching.
"Maybe," he replies, shifting his eyes to Neo's chest, searching for what has her so enraptured that she keeps her eyes focused there. "But not everyone just took a beating from an Agent, Trinity. Not everyone just died, got resurrected and lost the ship they called home for most of their unplugged life."
This time, he gets no reply. As he switches his gaze back to her, he spots a tin container resting on a stand nearby. Its contents are clearly untouched and he assumes that by now the bland, soupy mixture is as cold as the tin itself.
"You haven't eaten."
"I'm not hungry."
He stifles a sigh, knowing he must be patient. Getting through her barriers is a process, a seemingly never-ending and arduous process, but one that is more than worth it when successful.
"Trinity…" he says quietly, allowing his voice to trail off, hoping to coax her into looking at him.
He finds the expression 'the eyes are the window to the soul' to be easily true with most people, but Trinity isn't 'most people.' In all outward appearances, her 'windows' almost always appear to have their thick curtains drawn. In fact, he's heard more than one fellow rebel describe them as blank, even cold and unfeeling - a perfect reflection of the aloof nature she has come to automatically project. But he is one of a select few who know that those 'curtains' typically have various stages of thickness to them and it isn't until he looks into the depths of her soul that he knows how to proceed.
She keeps her eyes on Neo and he isn't sure if it is because she's blatantly ignoring him or if it's because she is so deeply immersed in her own thoughts that she simply hasn't heard him.
"Trinity," he says more firmly.
This time, cool blue meets warm brown. Though weary, her eyes are surprisingly not as closed off as he anticipated. He's not certain whether that's because she's too tired to expend the energy or because it's him, but he would bet on the former. In the span of a second, he reads shades of worry swirling with anger and sadness. Those he had expected, but he also sees something else, something unfamiliar.
Or perhaps it's something missing.
He doesn't have a chance to identify it however, as she quickly recognizes what he's doing and reacts by dropping thicker curtains into place.
"What?" she asks coldly.
He counters the hardness of her expression with one of open concern. Finally, her face softens and a silent apology passes between them.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He half expects her shake her head and turn back to Neo, but she continues to hold his gaze.
"What is there to say, Ghost? The Neb is gone. The machines are still digging. And Neo…" She sighs wearily. "It's only a matter of time before they destroy Zion."
She's giving up, he realizes with surprise. Even in the wake of Neo's coma and the loss of the Neb, he had not anticipated this. He expected her determination and her fiery temper to spur her to fight even harder, not surrender.
A familiar phrase suddenly floats into his mind... Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue.
The words of Nietzsche, they remind him that, with all that has happened, even Trinity needs time to recover and regroup.
He stands there for a moment, uncertain as to how to help. It's all he can do not to bend down and hug her, but he knows she will not accept that right now. Instead, he gently places a hand on her shoulder.
"It's not over, Trinity," he says confidently. "There's still time. We'll find another plan and Neo will come around. He can still end this."
At that Trinity turns away, but not before he picks up on a stiffening of her shoulders and a flicker of something in her eyes that unsettles him.
He frowns. Doubt?
He isn't sure and almost dismisses it - until he remembers something he thought he saw flash briefly in Morpheus' eyes as he came on board. Suddenly, an icicle lodges in his gut.
"Trinity… What is it you're not telling me?"
For a long moment, Trinity says nothing. When she finally glances up at him, he can see there is something she wants to say; but he also gets the sense she is debating with herself.
"Ghost, there's…"
She hesitates. For a brief moment, he thinks she is finally going to share what it is that is weighing on her so heavily, but then she lowers her eyes. "Was there something specific you came here for?"
He sighs, openly disappointed that she is not going to let him in right now. "I came here to see you. I wanted to make sure you're okay and I thought…" he pauses, squeezing her shoulder, "I thought you could use a friend."
"I'm fine," she states quietly, saying the words as though they have become her mantra. "Really."
"I'm still not buying that, Trinity, but I'll let it go. For now."
He watches as she releases what he can only interpret as a sigh of relief.
"I'm here when you're ready; you know that."
"I know." Raising her eyes to meet his once more, she rewards him with a wan smile. "Thank you, Ghost."
He nods, watching as her attention falls back to Neo.
"In the meantime," he says, "We're meeting in the mess. Time is scarce and we have a lot to do. I thought you might want to join us."
Trinity doesn't answer and makes no attempt to move from her seat.
"Trinity?" he gently prods after a moment.
"Go ahead, Ghost. I'll be there in a minute."
"All right," he replies quietly. "I'll see you there." But even as he turns to leave the room, he knows she won't be following.