THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAIDIOTIC GENTLEMONKEYS
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-operation with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).
'With a smile and a song' is from Disney's Snow White cartoon.
///////////////////
The league stepped out of the run down building, only to be met by a huge white limousine out in the street. Again, the Londoners who pass by take no notice of such a peculiar machine in the middle of the damn 1889's!
'Wooo!' Yells Skinner,' What the bloody hell is this?'
'It's an automobile!' Exclaims Nemo proudly.
'Really? Cool...let'sh eat it!' Quartermain takes out his trusty rifle, Matilda, and is ready to shoot the 'prey'.
'No, no, you stupid English hyena!' Cries Nemo,' You drive in it!'
'Oh..' Down hearted Allen lowers his gun and goes in the car.
But the didn't know that they are watched, by a stranger wearing a lurid pink coat!
*********
The car stops in front of another run down house in the dock ghettos. The league members get out, and Quartermain bangs on the door.
'Dorian!' He yells,' Let ush in! It'sh creepy out here! There may be wolvesh and lionsh out here!'
Mina rolls her eyes and snorts. Suddenly, the door opens revealing a handsome young man wearing..a tight, black leather suit.
'Hello, I'm Dorian Gay- I mean Gray. Welcome to my humble little home,' he says tiredly.
'Dorian? Is that you?' Asks Mina, not believing her eyes.
'Huh? Who are you?' he grunts,' oh, you must be the tart who visited me last weekend!'
'I'm Mina!' she cries.
'Whatever, you may come in.' Dorian left the door open, and led them to his library.
His library was filled with books and pictures of himself of course. Dorian sat down in an armchair, and took out a photo album.
'Oooh, I really like to show pictures of myself to friends!' He squeals, flipping to the first page,' This is me, when I was five, and yes, I'm eating mud... this photo is when I was seventeen and won a beauty contest in Dover. The contest was intended for women, but that didn't stop me from winning the first prize! And this one is when I was in University and became the Steak and Kidney pudding contest winner...another photo with some tart...this is another picture taken in the circus when I was ten. I tripped the clowns to fall in the lion cage, you know.'
Suddenly, some evil guys holding machine guns, led by the Star Wars fanatic The Fartom surround the league. The Fartom gives some crappy speech, while Quartermain notices a kid among them wearing a pink coat and winking at him (makes you wonder if he's gay). A fight ensues, Fartom escapes and the kid introduces himself as some Yankee called Tom Sawyer.
'I want to join you! I have two American guns to bribe you!' Boasts Sawyer.
Allen clutches Matilda harder against his chest and narrows his eyes,' You have lollipopsh?' He growls.
'Yep, ten of them!' Confirms Sawyer.
'Deal! You're in!' Allen shakes his hand.
'Wait for me! I'm coming too!' Dorian sidles in.
********
'This, my friends is the Nautilus...or Naughtylust because of a strip club I have up here!' Says proudly Nemo, showing them to a huge, pretty white submarine.
The league goes in, and explores the ship, while the men head over to the strip club.
'Where do we go?' Asks Nemo.
'To Parish! To shee an old friend there!' Proclaims Allen.
***********
(In 'Parish', France...)
A huge monster is running away from the French policemen and is jumping like Tarzan on top of the buildings. Sawyer and Quartermain are following the beast.
To their horror, the beast is wearing a pink tutu (with men's trousers underneath) and is balancing at the top of a building singing,' With a smile and a song..'
'He'sh shcared!' Exclaims Quartermain.
'La, la, la...with a smile and a Hyde..' Sings the carefree beast.
'Stop him!' Tom stares with wide eyes.
Allen takes out his gun and shoots down the monster, packing him in a net, and sending it off to the Nautilus.
The monster is now locked in the boiler room and chained. The rest of the League gather around to watch the spectacular.
'Mishter Hyde,' begins Quartermain seriously,' you have been exshiled out of Englandsh for goodnessh knowsh what, and we are here to offer you to join ush and then you may come back.'
Hyde roars out something inconherenble saying he could smell their fear. Suddenly, as if helium is let out a balloon, he deflates, and becomes a normal man wearing trousers that may fall off. He is cute.
'Dr. Jekyll, at your service!' He shakes hands with everybody.
He then hobbles out of the room with his trousers coming up to his shoulders.
********
A few days later, after being entertained by the only stripper in the bar, the Giant Squid, the league was summoned to the main study.
'Dr. Jekyll, please shit down.' Says Quartermain.
'What?' gasps Jekyll.
'Shit down.' Repeats Allen, apparently annoyed.
'Now look here Mr. Quartermain,' Begins upset Jekyll,' this manner is very nongentleman of you and-'
'Shit down! Shit down!' Yells Quartermain.
When Jekyll just stands there, Mina strides over to him and makes him SIT down.
'There is a traitor among us,' announces Captain Nemo gravely,' and we can find the villain only one way. We settle it by spinning the bottle!'
Nemo takes out a bottle and spins it, landing towards Jekyll.
'YOU!' Roars Nemo, pointing a finger at the poor doctor.
'Oh come on,' the trembling Jekyll says,' you have recruited me. I couldn't do it.'
'Very well,' Suspicious Quartermain reluctantly agrees,' I shall now shpin the bottle.'
Quartermain spins the bottle and it lands at...Quartermain.
'Uh oh..' Allen realizes the mistake.
'GET HIM!' Screams Mina, as they attack the hunter.
Few days pass by, Mina and Dorian are having a bit more than a kiss and a cuddle in her rooms, while Dr. Jekyll spies on them (the sweet old perv...). He is playing with his pocket watch, going tick tock, tick tock..
'You want her!' Growls Hyde.
'No!' Protests Jekyll.
'Tick tock!' Goes the watch.
'Take the potion!'
'No!'
'Tick tock!'
'Take it!'
'No!
'Tick tock!'
'What the hell is going on here?' Asks irritated Nemo, coming all of the sudden onto the scene.
'I..er...I..er..' Stutters Jekyll.
'Don't you dare take the potion, you English hyena! I can't stand to have to clean the broken bottles behind you!' Grunts Nemo.
********
The Nautilus arrives in Venice and breaks a few centuries old bridges, but who cares? There is supposedly a bomb here and it has to blow up a carnival there. The carnival takes place in front of the mental hospital, where the patients are celebrating the anniversary of Lala the Mad, who tried to escape, but was unfortunately caught and became normal at her downfall.
'We have to shave the people!' Exclaims Quartermain.
'What?' asks Jekyll.
'He means save, gentlemen, save!' Mina exclaims proudly.
Jekyll shrugs and sits in an armchair, eating a packet of chips, watching Nemo's first television: an empty screen.
'You go without me.' He waves them off.
'What good are you anyway?' Smirks Dorian.
'That's what I wonder.' Says thoughtfully Skinner,' why on earth did we recruit Jerkkill in the first place?'
Jerkkil- I mean Jekyll shoots an angry glare at Skinner.
While rest of the league run frantically around the ship wondering what the hell will they do, Sawyer runs over a few people in the limousine. The league rush in, except Nemo, Skinner and Jekyll of course, and rush off.
Sawyer begins to drive in circles around the city, and when they finally reach the fifth circle, Mina bites some necks off, Dorian jumps out, Quartermain also jumps off, then Sawyers flies through the air and still survives (that damn brat...). The bomb is blow up, so none of the patients from the hospital suffer.
Quartermain runs around the grveyard, and spots M there! He is twirling his moustage in front of a mirror and playing tea party with his teddy bears, nothing new... But next to him is the Fartom's fanatic Star Wars suit!
'You're the Fartom!' Screams Allen, shooting all over the place.
M runs off into the distance( taking his teddy bears of course), while Quartermain gives up and returns to the ship.
The league arrives back and to their horror Dorian is in a pod, which I swear by the laws of physics, shouldn't stand up straight like that in the water. Skinner is missing too.
They all go to the ship, and deranged Nemo is rushing though the waters to reach Dorian. After breaking a few more bridges, they realized that they can't reach him, so went to watch the blank TV.
Author's Note: OK, sorry for waiting so long. Please review!
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-operation with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).
'With a smile and a song' is from Disney's Snow White cartoon.
///////////////////
The league stepped out of the run down building, only to be met by a huge white limousine out in the street. Again, the Londoners who pass by take no notice of such a peculiar machine in the middle of the damn 1889's!
'Wooo!' Yells Skinner,' What the bloody hell is this?'
'It's an automobile!' Exclaims Nemo proudly.
'Really? Cool...let'sh eat it!' Quartermain takes out his trusty rifle, Matilda, and is ready to shoot the 'prey'.
'No, no, you stupid English hyena!' Cries Nemo,' You drive in it!'
'Oh..' Down hearted Allen lowers his gun and goes in the car.
But the didn't know that they are watched, by a stranger wearing a lurid pink coat!
*********
The car stops in front of another run down house in the dock ghettos. The league members get out, and Quartermain bangs on the door.
'Dorian!' He yells,' Let ush in! It'sh creepy out here! There may be wolvesh and lionsh out here!'
Mina rolls her eyes and snorts. Suddenly, the door opens revealing a handsome young man wearing..a tight, black leather suit.
'Hello, I'm Dorian Gay- I mean Gray. Welcome to my humble little home,' he says tiredly.
'Dorian? Is that you?' Asks Mina, not believing her eyes.
'Huh? Who are you?' he grunts,' oh, you must be the tart who visited me last weekend!'
'I'm Mina!' she cries.
'Whatever, you may come in.' Dorian left the door open, and led them to his library.
His library was filled with books and pictures of himself of course. Dorian sat down in an armchair, and took out a photo album.
'Oooh, I really like to show pictures of myself to friends!' He squeals, flipping to the first page,' This is me, when I was five, and yes, I'm eating mud... this photo is when I was seventeen and won a beauty contest in Dover. The contest was intended for women, but that didn't stop me from winning the first prize! And this one is when I was in University and became the Steak and Kidney pudding contest winner...another photo with some tart...this is another picture taken in the circus when I was ten. I tripped the clowns to fall in the lion cage, you know.'
Suddenly, some evil guys holding machine guns, led by the Star Wars fanatic The Fartom surround the league. The Fartom gives some crappy speech, while Quartermain notices a kid among them wearing a pink coat and winking at him (makes you wonder if he's gay). A fight ensues, Fartom escapes and the kid introduces himself as some Yankee called Tom Sawyer.
'I want to join you! I have two American guns to bribe you!' Boasts Sawyer.
Allen clutches Matilda harder against his chest and narrows his eyes,' You have lollipopsh?' He growls.
'Yep, ten of them!' Confirms Sawyer.
'Deal! You're in!' Allen shakes his hand.
'Wait for me! I'm coming too!' Dorian sidles in.
********
'This, my friends is the Nautilus...or Naughtylust because of a strip club I have up here!' Says proudly Nemo, showing them to a huge, pretty white submarine.
The league goes in, and explores the ship, while the men head over to the strip club.
'Where do we go?' Asks Nemo.
'To Parish! To shee an old friend there!' Proclaims Allen.
***********
(In 'Parish', France...)
A huge monster is running away from the French policemen and is jumping like Tarzan on top of the buildings. Sawyer and Quartermain are following the beast.
To their horror, the beast is wearing a pink tutu (with men's trousers underneath) and is balancing at the top of a building singing,' With a smile and a song..'
'He'sh shcared!' Exclaims Quartermain.
'La, la, la...with a smile and a Hyde..' Sings the carefree beast.
'Stop him!' Tom stares with wide eyes.
Allen takes out his gun and shoots down the monster, packing him in a net, and sending it off to the Nautilus.
The monster is now locked in the boiler room and chained. The rest of the League gather around to watch the spectacular.
'Mishter Hyde,' begins Quartermain seriously,' you have been exshiled out of Englandsh for goodnessh knowsh what, and we are here to offer you to join ush and then you may come back.'
Hyde roars out something inconherenble saying he could smell their fear. Suddenly, as if helium is let out a balloon, he deflates, and becomes a normal man wearing trousers that may fall off. He is cute.
'Dr. Jekyll, at your service!' He shakes hands with everybody.
He then hobbles out of the room with his trousers coming up to his shoulders.
********
A few days later, after being entertained by the only stripper in the bar, the Giant Squid, the league was summoned to the main study.
'Dr. Jekyll, please shit down.' Says Quartermain.
'What?' gasps Jekyll.
'Shit down.' Repeats Allen, apparently annoyed.
'Now look here Mr. Quartermain,' Begins upset Jekyll,' this manner is very nongentleman of you and-'
'Shit down! Shit down!' Yells Quartermain.
When Jekyll just stands there, Mina strides over to him and makes him SIT down.
'There is a traitor among us,' announces Captain Nemo gravely,' and we can find the villain only one way. We settle it by spinning the bottle!'
Nemo takes out a bottle and spins it, landing towards Jekyll.
'YOU!' Roars Nemo, pointing a finger at the poor doctor.
'Oh come on,' the trembling Jekyll says,' you have recruited me. I couldn't do it.'
'Very well,' Suspicious Quartermain reluctantly agrees,' I shall now shpin the bottle.'
Quartermain spins the bottle and it lands at...Quartermain.
'Uh oh..' Allen realizes the mistake.
'GET HIM!' Screams Mina, as they attack the hunter.
Few days pass by, Mina and Dorian are having a bit more than a kiss and a cuddle in her rooms, while Dr. Jekyll spies on them (the sweet old perv...). He is playing with his pocket watch, going tick tock, tick tock..
'You want her!' Growls Hyde.
'No!' Protests Jekyll.
'Tick tock!' Goes the watch.
'Take the potion!'
'No!'
'Tick tock!'
'Take it!'
'No!
'Tick tock!'
'What the hell is going on here?' Asks irritated Nemo, coming all of the sudden onto the scene.
'I..er...I..er..' Stutters Jekyll.
'Don't you dare take the potion, you English hyena! I can't stand to have to clean the broken bottles behind you!' Grunts Nemo.
********
The Nautilus arrives in Venice and breaks a few centuries old bridges, but who cares? There is supposedly a bomb here and it has to blow up a carnival there. The carnival takes place in front of the mental hospital, where the patients are celebrating the anniversary of Lala the Mad, who tried to escape, but was unfortunately caught and became normal at her downfall.
'We have to shave the people!' Exclaims Quartermain.
'What?' asks Jekyll.
'He means save, gentlemen, save!' Mina exclaims proudly.
Jekyll shrugs and sits in an armchair, eating a packet of chips, watching Nemo's first television: an empty screen.
'You go without me.' He waves them off.
'What good are you anyway?' Smirks Dorian.
'That's what I wonder.' Says thoughtfully Skinner,' why on earth did we recruit Jerkkill in the first place?'
Jerkkil- I mean Jekyll shoots an angry glare at Skinner.
While rest of the league run frantically around the ship wondering what the hell will they do, Sawyer runs over a few people in the limousine. The league rush in, except Nemo, Skinner and Jekyll of course, and rush off.
Sawyer begins to drive in circles around the city, and when they finally reach the fifth circle, Mina bites some necks off, Dorian jumps out, Quartermain also jumps off, then Sawyers flies through the air and still survives (that damn brat...). The bomb is blow up, so none of the patients from the hospital suffer.
Quartermain runs around the grveyard, and spots M there! He is twirling his moustage in front of a mirror and playing tea party with his teddy bears, nothing new... But next to him is the Fartom's fanatic Star Wars suit!
'You're the Fartom!' Screams Allen, shooting all over the place.
M runs off into the distance( taking his teddy bears of course), while Quartermain gives up and returns to the ship.
The league arrives back and to their horror Dorian is in a pod, which I swear by the laws of physics, shouldn't stand up straight like that in the water. Skinner is missing too.
They all go to the ship, and deranged Nemo is rushing though the waters to reach Dorian. After breaking a few more bridges, they realized that they can't reach him, so went to watch the blank TV.
Author's Note: OK, sorry for waiting so long. Please review!