Title: Words They Use So Lightly
Author: AnneArbour
Disclaimer: I don't own That '70s Show, or any of the characters, much as I would love to own one Mr. Steven Hyde. Nor do I own Third Eye Blind's lyrics to "The Background," which is where the title comes from.
Summary: Post-Celebration Day, Jackie/Hyde. Overdone, I know, but I've often felt Jackie's "choice" needed a translator for all the Jackie-speak. Hyde's actions in The Kids Are Alright just confirmed that for me. (I'm terrible at writing summaries, by the way).
Rating: PG-13. It may get worse, but it can't be any lighter, either, due to the, ahem, Circle.
A/N: 1) Eric/Donna will be making appearances. I can't help but not love them, you know? While I'm not passionate about them as I am Jackie/Hyde, I think that's because they're just such a given. It's hard for me to write for them because I can't think of any conflict for them that hasn't been touched upon on the show itself. 2) As much as I wanted to use songs from the '70s, I couldn't bring myself to not use this song, it's one of my favorites. Thus, I decided not to make it a songfic (not something I do often, anyway), and just to post a bit of the lyrics at the end. 3) It gets OOC. I apologize for that, but I've always liked to believe that Jackie and Hyde alone were different than what we mostly saw on screen. The line that really helps me believe that is in Celebration Day, when Jackie is talking about how Hyde has changed her and how when he talks, he makes her think. We don't see an awful lot of that on the show, so I guess that's why I let them slide out of character. 4) Enjoy!
Eric Forman's Basement.
Mid-summer.
3:17 p.m.
Eric Forman and Donna Pinciotti snuggled on the worn out, ragged couch in Eric's basement. Neither of them spoke, content in watching whatever summer repeat was playing on the television, both at ease with avoiding the discussion they knew was lurking just beyond the corner. With Red's heart attack, the young couple had been forced, though not unwillingly, to delay their move to Madison. Despite Eric's firm insistence that he needed to get away from the house, away from Red's putdowns and into his new life at college, Donna knew that Eric was deeply worried about his father's health. So thus they remained, settling for sidestepping their impending decision by just being with one another.
Just then, the clatter of heels skipping down the basement stairs broke the spell. Eric looked at Donna and rolled his eyes. Donna just smiled in return as Jackie Burkhart entered the basement. Settling down on Hyde's favorite chair, Jackie opened her mouth to speak, not noticing Eric's pleading looks towards Donna. Or, if she did, she ignored them, as she usually did.
"Eric, how's Red doing?" Jackie inquired. Red Forman had been a real father-figure for her in past months, and she worried about him as much as anyone else, if not more so.
"Wow, Jackie, you're being nice? Maybe you aren't the Devil after all. Maybe you've been relegated to Head Storm Trooper while Laurie does the freaky heavy-breathing Darth Vader thing," Eric replied, while Donna smacked the back of his head. "Yeah, no, he's doing alright. He hates his diet, he hates the hospital, he still calls me dumbass, so I guess he's good. He's coming home in a few weeks."
Jackie smiled. "That's good to hear, Eric." She glanced around quickly, hoping Donna and Eric wouldn't notice. "So… is Steven here?"
Eric and Donna glanced at one another. Donna was the one who spoke up. "Um, well, we're not too sure. He hasn't really left his room lately, and when he does, we generally don't see him."
Jackie groaned. "So, he's taking
this badly?"
"Jackie, you told him you needed to work on your tan! That Kelso was actually
an option!" Donna replied, exasperated. Unbeknownst to any of them, the door to
Hyde's bedroom cracked open a notch.
"Donna, it's not that simple!"
Jackie exclaimed. "Let's see, how can I explain it to you in terms lumberjacks
would understand?"
"Jackie!" Donna exclaimed. Eric rolled his eyes and smiled.
"What? Steven was the only one who ever understood what I was trying to say," Jackie tossed back. At that, the bedroom door opened slightly more. Donna and Eric both looked slightly apologetic.
"Jackie, shouldn't that tell you something?" Eric asked. "I mean, if Kelso didn't understand you, why is he even a choice?"
Jackie paused, looking sad and lost in her thoughts. Finally, she spoke again.
"I don't know."
"That's it? You don't know? How is it not the easiest choice of your life, Jackie?" An angry voice from behind them all. Three heads whipped around to see a disheveled, disgruntled Hyde walk out from his bedroom. His glasses were clipped to his shirt and he had the beginnings of a beard once again.
"Steven, I… I…" Jackie stopped, lost for words. Then she suddenly stood up and ran out of the basement. Hyde watched her leave, and softly muttered, "Whatever," under his breath.
"Hyde." Donna stated. "Go after her."
"Whatever, Donna. I'm not going to go running after her anymore. Not after her so-called choice." Hyde sat down in his chair, putting his glasses on.
"Dude, Hyde, that's exactly what you need to do," Eric replied.
"Shut up, Erica. If I need womanly advice, I'll ask Kitty or your ball-and-chain." Donna threw a piece of candy from the table at him for this comment.
"He's right, Hyde. You hurt Jackie, and she's reacting in her weird little Jackie way. She herself said you were the only one who understands her, so go do that. She's much less annoying when she's not pissed off at you."
Hyde groaned and stood up. "Fine. But just so you know, I'm not doing this because you told me to."
"Oh, we know, Hyde." Eric assured. "You're doing it because you loooooooove her!" Hyde reached over and punched Eric on the arm, smirking as Eric clutched it in pain.
"See you losers later," Hyde remarked on his way out the door, smirking once again as Donna kissed Eric's arm all better.
Donna Pinciotti's Bedroom.
3:34 p.m.
Hyde stood in front of Donna and Jackie's door for a few minutes before finally knocking. It wasn't that he was scared or anything. Oh, hell, no. Nothing like that. He just… well, he didn't know why he was apprehensive to go in.
Crap.
He was scared as hell.
Crap, crap, crap.
Finally, he knocked three times on the door, none too lightly. He heard some rustling inside, and he had a feeling Jackie knew it was him and was getting presentable. That at least, was a good sign, as opposed to a few weeks before when she simply didn't care.
At long last, the door opened, revealing an annoyed Jackie. Hyde paused, knowing what it would be like to deal with Jackie when she was annoyed. But, he figured, she wasn't really going to be any less annoyed until they talked about what was going on. He removed his sunglasses, knowing her penchant for looking into his eyes, and deep down inside, his own craving to be able to see her multi-colored eyes clearly.
"Can I come in?" He asked, feeling somewhat stupid. Wordlessly, Jackie stepped aside to let him in the room. He sat down on the edge of Donna's bed, and gestured to her to sit down as well. She sat facing him on her own cot.
"Look, Jackie. I know I've already said this, but I'm sorry. You can't possibly know how sorry I am. I know I did a horrible thing – "
"Got that right, buddy," Jackie retorted. Seeing the annoyed look on Hyde's face, she closed her mouth and waved a hand at him to continue.
"I know I did a horrible thing, but I was pissed off. So pissed off. I thought you and Kelso were fooling around behind my back, and I figured, why let her leave me like everyone else? I'll just leave her first." At this, Jackie opened her mouth to speak, only to be silenced by Hyde's hand. "I don't even want you to forgive me. You deserve better. I've always told you that. But if you can't forgive me, you can't forgive Kelso, either! And it's not fair of you to take to bring Kelso into this when you know that's why I did… what I did."
"Steven, do you know why I brought Michael into this?" Hyde shook his head. Jackie wrung her hands together. "Because I feel safe with him. He loves me, and yes, he cheats on me and does all kinds of stupid things, but it's all expected from him. In the end, he always comes back to me." She hesitated. Her next words came out softer than before. "He can't hurt me like you can, Steven."
Hyde sat in silence, unsure of how to respond to that. So, this was it. Jackie was making her choice, and it wasn't him. Despite all her whispered "I love you's" as they laid in his bed together, late at night. Despite the fact that he had never, ever felt this way about a girl before, let alone told her he loved her.
Jackie noticed the look on his face. Without his glasses, it was so much easier to read his emotions. His mastery of Zen wasn't helping him mask his heartbreak at the moment. Realizing that she had implied that she wanted to be with Kelso, she moved to sit next to Hyde, taking one of his hands in both of hers.
"Steven, Michael needs me. It's nice to be needed, the way that I know that I
need you in my life. You make me such a better person. But sometimes I feel
that you might, I don't know, find someone who doesn't piss you off like I do, who likes the same music you do, wants to talk about the
government and cars that run on water, and then you'll leave me. I don't face
that with Michael."
"Jackie, I love you," Hyde broke in with a fierceness uncharacteristic for him.
"I know, but do you need me? Like I need you?" Jackie questioned. They had both moved closer and closer to one another and their faces were now inches apart. "Steven, I need to know before I can trust you with my heart again. You broke it into so many pieces, I don't know if I can ever put it all back together again."
Hyde was quiet for a moment, looking at their intertwined hands. "Jackie, I do need you. Without you, I probably wouldn't have gotten a job at the hotel, I probably wouldn't be living at the Forman's anymore, and, well… " Hyde hesitated. "I wouldn't have filled out college applications two weeks ago." He glanced up to see a huge, glowing smile appear on Jackie's face.
"Steven!" She nearly shrieked in his ear, throwing her arms around his neck, and kissing his cheek no less than five times. "I can't believe you applied to college! I knew you had potential!" Hyde smirked and wrapped his arms around her, returning the hug. He bent down and kissed her cheek once. Slowly but suddenly, Jackie backed away, one hand subconsciously reaching up to her cheek. Hyde felt the uncomfortable tension enter the room once again.
"So, um… " He managed to get out. Dammit,
when did he start stuttering and getting all girly like Forman? "I guess I
should get going?"
Jackie slid away from him on the bed and rose to a standing position, nodding slightly. Hyde got up too, and began walking towards the door when suddenly tiny hands grabbed his waist, spinning him around. Suddenly, Jackie's lips were on his, and her hands were holding his waist as if for dear life. She pressed her entire body into his, as she gave him what would probably go down as the most passionate kiss in the record books. Completely taken aback, it took Hyde a few seconds to respond, but respond he did. Just as he found his hands entangling themselves in her hair, Jackie pulled away, smirked, and chirped, "Good night!" as she pulled open the door. Hyde looked at her confusedly, then smirked back and walked back to the Forman's.
third eye blind // the background
everything is quiet, since you're not around,
and i live in the numbness now.
in the background.
i don't see you anymore, since the hospital.
the plans i make still have you in them,
'cause you come swimming into view,
and i'm hanging on your words like i always used to do,
the words they use so lightly, i only feel for you.
i only know because i carry you around,
in the background.
i'm in the background.
'cause i felt you longer after we were through…