Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, nor am I making profit from them. If I was, I would be able to pay my own damn tuition.
Author's Note: Ah, my sweet return to fanfic after a two-year hiatus. Of course, I was writing X-Files and Stargate back then. This is my first Harry Potter fic, and my first slashy-type. Yay trying new things! All comments are welcome, because if I can take the criticism of my Literary Theory professor, I can take anything. Rated PG-13 for mild slashiness, because you can never be too careful.
Lie To Me
by Meggory
Every time the water dropped onto the smooth cement floor, the tiny brown spider twitched; every time the spider twitched, Sirius' fingers jumped with surprise--at least, they had for the first hundred times. Now it was just automatic, like wincing at the sound of the guard's boots as he paced the hall outside the cell.
No, wait, those weren't the guard's boots. Softer, gliding, and eternally familiar, they stopped at the bars, waiting patiently. No, hesitantly. Nervously. Sirius could smell the emotion, and it nearly choked him. He had to break the silence. Without moving off the hard bunk, he said quietly, "Hello, Remus."
A long, struggling pause ensued before the visitor replied. "Sirius.... A-are you--"
"No, I'm not all right. They're sending me to Azkaban in the morning. Although I don't know why the Aurors didn't take me there right after the Wizengamot's ruling."
"I asked Dumbledore to arrange it. An appeal to their mercy," Remus told him, his voice so quiet anyone else would have missed it. "He had to call in a lot of favours."
"Remus," Sirius whispered as he pushed himself up and willed himself to face his werewolf. The young man looked, for the first time in his life, like a complete and utter wreck. Not even after his transformations did he appear so haggard and on the verge of a breakdown. His tawny hair was tangled and uncombed, his robes wrinkled as though slept in, and his eyes--his eyes, always so lively and expressive and serious--were hollow pools of the darkest despair. He looked worse than the man about to be sent into the Dementor's care. "Remus, when was the last time you slept?"
"Sleep? What's that?" he said, attempting a laugh, but it came out as a sob. "Oh, gods, Padfoot--"
"Don't, Moony, don't. Please. Could we just sit and bask in my glory?" Sirius said wryly, and he swore the corner of Remus' mouth turned upward. He blinked, and it was gone.
"That's not funny," he admonished, sounding the prefect he had been. "Sirius, tell me you didn't kill Peter."
The words struck Sirius' heart like a serrated blade, and it took all his strength to not fall on his knees and tell him everything. He wanted to scream his innocence, become Padfoot and howl to the moon his desire for freedom. Instead, he asked, "What do you think?"
Remus looked at the floor, as though he'd been expecting the question. "I don't know. I really don't." His hands, pale and too thin, were trembling violently. "First James and Lily, and poor little Harry, and Voldemort; now this. Sirius, we should be celebrating. We should be out watching fireworks, and drinking ourselves silly, and dancing until after sunrise. We should be planning our friends' wake, and taking care of their son. Your godson, Sirius." Another sob racked his throat. "I cannot believe you did this. I know you wouldn't betray them as their Secret Keeper."
It was Peter, Sirius mouthed silently, but Remus wasn't watching. "But if you didn't tell, how did Voldemort find them? Sirius?"
The prisoner rose and approached the dungeon bars, only to find tears streaming down Remus' sunken cheeks. "Oh, Remmie," Sirius soothed, slipping his hands through the bars and cupping the smaller man's face. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to put you through this, and I'm sorry you'll face this alone."
Remus turned his face into the palm of Sirius' hand and kissed his fingers. "Tell me you didn't do this. Lie to me, Padfoot."
"I didn't kill Peter, and I didn't betray James," replied Sirius, and instantly knew he had spoken too quickly. His heart was breaking, ripping apart in agony, but it was the only way. "I didn't kill Peter with the Avada Kedavra, I didn't tell Voldemort where James and Lily were hiding, and I've never been a Death Eater." I cannot lie to you.
"How could you, Sirius? You betrayed your best friends, and you betrayed me!" Remus managed to choke out.
"Don't you know that everything I say is a lie," said Sirius harshly, inwardly regretting every second of this meeting. Remus pulled back roughly and spat, although his eyes were still bright with unshed tears.
"So you never loved me?"
"No." Oh, gods, yes. Yes, I love you, Remmie, and you know it. Come on, see through me, through this charade.
"Maybe the Dementors aren't such a horrible fate for you after all. Goodbye, Sirius." With that, Remus Lupin hurried out of the dungeon without any backward glances. Sirius watched him leave, and found the courage to yell, "Look in my dress robes!" The footsteps never slowed.
The last son of the House of Black, finding his face wet and his body shaking, lay down to listen to the quiet drops of water and watch the little brown spider build her web.
Author's Note: Ah, my sweet return to fanfic after a two-year hiatus. Of course, I was writing X-Files and Stargate back then. This is my first Harry Potter fic, and my first slashy-type. Yay trying new things! All comments are welcome, because if I can take the criticism of my Literary Theory professor, I can take anything. Rated PG-13 for mild slashiness, because you can never be too careful.
Lie To Me
by Meggory
Every time the water dropped onto the smooth cement floor, the tiny brown spider twitched; every time the spider twitched, Sirius' fingers jumped with surprise--at least, they had for the first hundred times. Now it was just automatic, like wincing at the sound of the guard's boots as he paced the hall outside the cell.
No, wait, those weren't the guard's boots. Softer, gliding, and eternally familiar, they stopped at the bars, waiting patiently. No, hesitantly. Nervously. Sirius could smell the emotion, and it nearly choked him. He had to break the silence. Without moving off the hard bunk, he said quietly, "Hello, Remus."
A long, struggling pause ensued before the visitor replied. "Sirius.... A-are you--"
"No, I'm not all right. They're sending me to Azkaban in the morning. Although I don't know why the Aurors didn't take me there right after the Wizengamot's ruling."
"I asked Dumbledore to arrange it. An appeal to their mercy," Remus told him, his voice so quiet anyone else would have missed it. "He had to call in a lot of favours."
"Remus," Sirius whispered as he pushed himself up and willed himself to face his werewolf. The young man looked, for the first time in his life, like a complete and utter wreck. Not even after his transformations did he appear so haggard and on the verge of a breakdown. His tawny hair was tangled and uncombed, his robes wrinkled as though slept in, and his eyes--his eyes, always so lively and expressive and serious--were hollow pools of the darkest despair. He looked worse than the man about to be sent into the Dementor's care. "Remus, when was the last time you slept?"
"Sleep? What's that?" he said, attempting a laugh, but it came out as a sob. "Oh, gods, Padfoot--"
"Don't, Moony, don't. Please. Could we just sit and bask in my glory?" Sirius said wryly, and he swore the corner of Remus' mouth turned upward. He blinked, and it was gone.
"That's not funny," he admonished, sounding the prefect he had been. "Sirius, tell me you didn't kill Peter."
The words struck Sirius' heart like a serrated blade, and it took all his strength to not fall on his knees and tell him everything. He wanted to scream his innocence, become Padfoot and howl to the moon his desire for freedom. Instead, he asked, "What do you think?"
Remus looked at the floor, as though he'd been expecting the question. "I don't know. I really don't." His hands, pale and too thin, were trembling violently. "First James and Lily, and poor little Harry, and Voldemort; now this. Sirius, we should be celebrating. We should be out watching fireworks, and drinking ourselves silly, and dancing until after sunrise. We should be planning our friends' wake, and taking care of their son. Your godson, Sirius." Another sob racked his throat. "I cannot believe you did this. I know you wouldn't betray them as their Secret Keeper."
It was Peter, Sirius mouthed silently, but Remus wasn't watching. "But if you didn't tell, how did Voldemort find them? Sirius?"
The prisoner rose and approached the dungeon bars, only to find tears streaming down Remus' sunken cheeks. "Oh, Remmie," Sirius soothed, slipping his hands through the bars and cupping the smaller man's face. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to put you through this, and I'm sorry you'll face this alone."
Remus turned his face into the palm of Sirius' hand and kissed his fingers. "Tell me you didn't do this. Lie to me, Padfoot."
"I didn't kill Peter, and I didn't betray James," replied Sirius, and instantly knew he had spoken too quickly. His heart was breaking, ripping apart in agony, but it was the only way. "I didn't kill Peter with the Avada Kedavra, I didn't tell Voldemort where James and Lily were hiding, and I've never been a Death Eater." I cannot lie to you.
"How could you, Sirius? You betrayed your best friends, and you betrayed me!" Remus managed to choke out.
"Don't you know that everything I say is a lie," said Sirius harshly, inwardly regretting every second of this meeting. Remus pulled back roughly and spat, although his eyes were still bright with unshed tears.
"So you never loved me?"
"No." Oh, gods, yes. Yes, I love you, Remmie, and you know it. Come on, see through me, through this charade.
"Maybe the Dementors aren't such a horrible fate for you after all. Goodbye, Sirius." With that, Remus Lupin hurried out of the dungeon without any backward glances. Sirius watched him leave, and found the courage to yell, "Look in my dress robes!" The footsteps never slowed.
The last son of the House of Black, finding his face wet and his body shaking, lay down to listen to the quiet drops of water and watch the little brown spider build her web.