"Maybe I'd be better on my own
No one ever seems to understand me
It's easier for me to be alone
But there's still a piece of me that feels so empty"
Michelle Branch, Where Are You Now?
Niles arrived back at his apartment with two conflicting emotions having a battle in his head. One on hand, He was almost too depressed for words. Daphne -- beautiful, wonderful, perfect Daphne -- had once again made him feel as though his life should be over. She knew, and yet he still couldn't have her because she didn't feel the same.
He was her Friend.
That part of him wanted to turn one of his Armani ties into a noose and hang himself. But the other emotion...
She had been under the piano with him.
Frasier called later that evening to complain about the movie. "Honestly, Niles," he said in exasperation. "the whole thing was about army officers getting blown up. Plotless! I don't know how I let myself stay throughout the whole blasted thing,"
"I'm sorry, Frasier," Niles had said, his mind somewhere else entirely.
"Anyway, how was your day? Did you have any patients?"
"No, actually," he said. "but, I did stay at your place and talk to Daphne for a short while."
The voice on the other line suddenly sounded slightly perturbed. "Yes, she mentioned that. I thought the both of us agreed you and Daphne should try and avoid each other at all costs...?"
"Frasier, she was with me under the piano." These words, while brimming with meaning to Niles, only served to confuse his brother.
"I'm afraid I'm not following, Niles,"
How should he put this? No one -- not even his mother -- had ever joined him when he was safely tucked under the piano. They had all tried to bribe and coax him back into standing position, yes, but they had never thought to get down on their knees and... and sit with him. To wait things out with him until he was feeling that his legs would hold him again. It had always bothered him slightly. People all have their little safety precautions, and while everyone else went along with theirs -- Frasier not daring to let anyone close to him; Mom throwing food out after a day or two so that no one would get food poisoning; Dad washing his hair as often as possible so that he wouldn't get lice -- they all seemed to want him to "Stop being ridiculous and come out from under that stinkin' piano!" (a direct quote from his father).
No one had ever indulged him.
"It's not important, " he said, sighing. "If I come up with the words, I'll explain it to you later."
"Are you sure? My brotherly instincts are telling me that this is much more than you're letting on..." Once again, Frasier feeling the need to be clued in on everything. It was almost amusing.
"I'm sure. Now, you get to bed and attempt to rid your subconscious of the vision of soldier innards. Goodnight, Frasier,"
"Goodnight, Niles,"
Niles hung up the phone with yet another sigh. His mind was still on Daphne, and the look on her face when he had taken her hand in his... She didn't know that moment meant more to him than any he had ever experienced. In those few seconds, his soul had been at her fingertips, and she didn't turn away. She held him in her grip for ten to fifteen seconds, and he was positive his life had been altered. Every meeting he had with Daphne Moon altered him in some way.
Another reason for his love.
He had considered returning and letting her know how much she affected him. However, consideration was all it turned out to be. He cherished the mental image of her answering the door and inviting him in once again, his nervousness as he explained everything. He imagined being able to love her the same way he always had, but with her returning the feeling.
But it's just a fantasy...
He stared blankly at his ten-inch TV/VCR, and a few tapes he had rented from the local library. Without much enthusiasm, he put on an episode of This Old House and began to take notes. Dr. Niles Crane couldn't live in a place like the Shangri-La without fixing it up a bit, and in the meantime he might as well be learning the names of all the tools and how they were used.