AN: Ahh…I love no school. I can get fics out a bit faster now. ^_^ Yay.

Disclaimer: Must I keep saying this? You guys know the drill.

Still the Same to Me
Chapter Six

Sanosuke could sense that Battousai was getting frustrated. It had only been two days after Soujiro had arrived at the Dojo, looking for a place to stay, but Battousai couldn't continue his act for long. If he remained acting just how Kenshin would much longer, Sanosuke knew that he would go insane.

"When are you just going to give up and let Kenshin have control?" Sanosuke asked that evening as Battousai walked out of his room. He leaned against the wall opposite to Battousai and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Soujiro isn't going to do anything."

Battousai only looked up at Sanosuke, his eyes as devoid of emotion as usual. Sanosuke suppressed the urge to shiver under that gaze. There was something about it that made Sanosuke feel like every part of his soul was being read and committed to memory. He didn't like it. "I still want to make sure that he won't hurt you or Yahiko."

"What about yourself?"

The question, Sanosuke realized, seemed to catch Battousai off guard. He hesitated slightly as he shut the door to Kenshin's room before he looked back up at Sanosuke. "My life is meaningless."

"Kenshin wouldn't want you to throw your lives away for us," Sanosuke countered.

Battousai just smiled sadly and shook his head. "Kenshin only lives on because it's his answer for atonement. He'd gladly give up his life if it meant another person's happiness."

"But it wouldn't make me happy, and you know it. So many people would be upset if Kenshin were to die because you carelessly threw his life away with yours, Battousai," Sanosuke responded.

"If you don't want to give away your feelings, Sanosuke, I suggest you close your mouth. I must go see if Soujiro is still in his room," Battousai muttered, pushing past Sanosuke and walking down the hall. Sanosuke watched him for a few moments before following him.

"What did you mean by that?" Sanosuke growled, catching up to Battousai quickly.

Battousai glared at him. "Kenshin can hear our conversation, Sanosuke."

Sanosuke stopped, backing away slightly from Battousai's glare. "A-And that's a bad thing?"

The burning hatred in Battousai's eyes seemed to be smothered, and he dropped his gaze. Usually Battousai's shoulders were tense, but they sloped slightly as he looked away. "You really do love Kenshin, don't you?" It was a breath, not even a whisper. Sanosuke never thought he would hear such a desperate tone out of Battousai, but here it was. Even his eyes had lost their normal glare.

"I…yes, I do," Sanosuke responded. Battousai closed his eyes upon hearing that. "Why? You knew that. Why did you have to ask?"

Battousai's eyes opened, and Sanosuke thought he saw pain. Usually they were so devoid of emotion…why was there a sign of feeling now? "And you'll only love him, won't you? Kenshin heard you say that you love him; he knows now."

Sanosuke stayed where he was, watching as conflicting emotions scattered along Battousai's eyes. "So…so he knows. He was going to find out eventually, anyway." Battousai only managed a nod. "But…you don't seem happy that he knows." At that, Battousai turned away and crossed his arms. "In fact, you look…disappointed to hear that I love him."

"Because it's always him that everyone falls for."

Jealousy? Was that really what he heard in Battousai's tone just then? "Is Hitokiri Battousai getting jealous?"

"How can I be jealous if I'm the heartless bastard everyone thinks I am?" As much as Sanosuke didn't want to admit it, that stung. "If I'm heartless, that means I'm emotionless, right? And if I'm emotionless, how can I even feel what jealousy is?"

"But you are jealous," Sanosuke whispered, taking a step towards Battousai. "And you're not a heartless bastard, Battousai. If you were, well…you would have killed Soujiro. You would have gone against Kenshin's wishes, against his want to remain a wanderer and nothing more."

"Is that so…?" Battousai laughed bitterly, turning to glare full force at Sanosuke. "Maybe Kenshin has enough control over me that I can't lift my sword and run it through Soujiro. You don't understand anything Sanosuke, so don't try to figure everything out about me."

"But I want to…"

The glare softened a bit. "What?" Battousai growled. "You want to understand everything about me?"

"Well…you and Kenshin are alike in a lot of ways I don't know, right?" Sanosuke muttered carefully. Battousai continued to glare at him. "Maybe you don't like killing just as much as he does… Maybe you always hated it, but you couldn't find it in you to stop while Kenshin had. Maybe he was only created by you so you could make Tomoe happy…"

"…He was always here," Battousai admitted, a sigh escaping his lips. "It was me who came second. I was created during the revolution, so that he could keep killing. I had control and he was asleep for years until Tomoe came into our lives. She…she meant everything to us."

"But she fell for Kenshin, not the Battousai," Sanosuke mumbled, "right?" The hurt look increased and Battousai looked away again; his shoulders slumped in defeat. Rarely would he have thought he was right, but at the moment, Sanosuke knew he was. He took a hesitant step towards Battousai, and Battousai tensed, his hand reaching for the hilt of his sakabato. "And you loved her first?"

"I saw her first…and didn't realize I loved her until Kenshin had taken control again. But I was the one who killed her—you know that," Battousai whispered. "Kenshin was able to be happy. He had gotten her to himself."

"While you felt that you were unloved…right?"

"Who could love me? I'm a heartless killer—a creation of the revolution who can't put down the sword. Kenshin can, he just won't because he needs it to protect those he loves. Me…I kill those I want to protect," Battousai whispered. "Which is why I want to push you and Yahiko away from me. I don't want Kenshin to be upset…most of all, I don't want to lose two important people in my life."

Sanosuke stared at Battousai's back, eyes wide. "You…?"

"Yes. I care about you and Yahiko." Battousai turned around and smiled sadly at Sanosuke, taking the last two steps to close the distance between them. He turned his gaze upwards and continued to smile at Sanosuke with that sad smile. "Did you think I was protecting you because Kenshin wanted me to?"

"Well…yeah," Sanosuke admitted. "It would have made sense. Though…if you kill those you want to protect…why are you protecting us?"

"I'm attempting to become what Kenshin has become. I want to atone for my sins just as much as he's been trying to atone for them for me," Battousai said, looking away from Sanosuke's eyes. "It wasn't until he had met you did I decide that I needed to change…to cross the boundary that kept Kenshin and I separate."

"You…you two can become one?" Sanosuke breathed, lightly grabbing Battousai's chin, turning Battousai's head so they could look each other in the eye. Battousai's golden eyes shined with something, then he pulled away.

"But I doubt you'd want that to happen," Battousai responded. "After all, I might taint your precious little Kenshin if we ever were to become one." His bitterness dripped into his tone, and Sanosuke suspected there was more to this than he thought.

"I told him that he would be the same to me no matter what happened," Sanosuke said truthfully, grabbing Battousai's shoulders. "If you and him become one…he's still Kenshin. You'll be Kenshin, too. Do you want that? Do you really, honestly want to be Kenshin?"

Battousai brushed Sanosuke's hands off his shoulders, sighing. "What I want doesn't really matter anymore. It'll be the best for the both of us, if I were to become one with him. He'll be at ease with himself. Don't you want that, Sanosuke?"

"I want Kenshin to be happy," Sanosuke responded. "And…since you're really just another side to Kenshin, I want you to be happy, as well."

Strong but thin arms encircled him, squeezing Sanosuke to the point where he almost couldn't breathe. "I…Sanosuke…" Blinking, it took Sanosuke a moment to realize that those strong arms belonged to Battousai, and that it was Battousai who was resting his head on Sanosuke's chest. Without thinking, Sanosuke hugged Battousai back, confused. "Thank you," Battousai breathed, "to know that even one person out there could even wish for Hitokiri Battousai to be happy—and not just Kenshin—that means a lot to me."

Sanosuke just stood there, continuing to hold Battousai, still confused. Why did Battousai react that way…? "You're…you're welcome, Battousai," he whispered back, managing to shake off some of his confusion. Battousai sighed against his chest, loosing his hold on Sanosuke. "But…why did you…?"

"Why did I hug you?" Battousai finished for Sanosuke, pulling away from him completely. His golden eyes were lighter, somehow, and Sanosuke could finally see something other than pain or anger in his eyes. "Isn't that what a person is supposed to do to someone who's made them happy?"

"Well, you didn't have to hug me to show me that you were happy," Sanosuke said, smiling nervously.

Battousai smirked. "Would you have preferred it if I had kissed you?"

The question was definitely not innocent, and Sanosuke glared at Battousai, ignoring the burning sensation in his cheeks. Damnit, he didn't want to blush just then. "The hug did just fine," he muttered, crossing his arms. "Battousai…can I—talk to Kenshin, please?"

The lightness to Battousai's eyes dimmed again as he turned away from Sanosuke. "I should have realized you'd ask to speak with him. You'll be able to speak with him after Soujiro leaves. I'll give him back control, then."

"Why can't you just let him have control?" Sanosuke muttered, watching as Battousai continued on his way to Soujiro's room. "Soujiro isn't going to do anything."

"Soujiro might not do anything," Battousai muttered, turning his head so he glanced at Sanosuke over his shoulder; his eyes were covered in shadows, "but we don't know if anyone else might try to come and attack him. In case that were to happen, I want to be able to protect you and Yahiko."

Sanosuke blinked at that, shrugged, and turned to go back to his room. He stopped. "So…" he called out cautiously. He heard Battousai's steps slow. "You're protecting Soujiro as well?"

"If it comes to that, yes, I am protecting him."

"But wasn't he once your enemy?"

"Just because he was once my enemy, Sanosuke, doesn't mean that I won't protect him if he needs to be protected. But, knowing how strong Soujiro was when we dueled a while back, he can probably protect himself," Battousai explained slowly.

"You've sensed that someone's been watching him, haven't you?" Sanosuke asked, turning around completely. Battousai's shoulders were tense again, and his hand was on the hilt of his sakabato. "That's why you've gone to his room every night! To make sure that whoever is watching him doesn't attack him!"

"Believe what you want, Sanosuke, I'm not going to answer you," Battousai muttered. "Please, let me go check on Soujiro. I'll let you talk to Kenshin tomorrow. He really wants to speak to you about how you feel about him."

Sanosuke's heart did a dive into his stomach. "Shit…" he muttered. "He really did hear me…?"

"Of course he did," Battousai snorted. "I wouldn't have lied to you about that. Really, Sanosuke, you can be so dense sometimes…but really, you should get some sleep before you talk to him. I have a feeling it will be a lengthy conversation."

"When does he want to speak with me?" Sanosuke asked, his mouth suddenly dry. If Kenshin knew that he loved him…how would he react? Would he close up on him again? Would he try to push Sanosuke away just as he had Kaoru?

"I don't know when, but it's best you don't ask questions about it. He'll probably wake you up when he's ready to speak with you." And with that said, Battousai continued his way to Soujiro's room quietly, leaving Sanosuke in the middle of the hallway by himself. Sighing, Sanosuke stuffed his hands in his pockets, turned around, and headed back to his room. He decided that it would just be best if he listened to Battousai's advice for once.

Hopefully the conversation between him and Kenshin would go better than Battousai was hinting that it would.