A/N: I just wrote this for kicks. If anyone wants to see more, tell
me, kay?
Disclaimer: Don't own a piece of CCS.
Gone
I thought I was always in Tomoyo's shadow. She had it all, or
so everybody else thought. Love-looks-life-voice-riches-who could ask for
more? I was her best friend to her, but to everyone else, I was a wannabe,
an apprentice, a pupil, a speck, a loser, a low-life, and the list goes
on. Even Syaoran Li, the hottest guy in school, had his eyes set on her.
I wish they'd just tear their eyes away from her for a second and look
at me without the glares and meaness. Just look at me for who I am.
"Yeah, so, I told him I was gonna be late and he stands
me up..."
6th grade hallway. It seems I am hidden in the purple-black locks that
befall upon my shoulders. The hair's not mine, but Tomoyo's. It looks like
snakes, going to entangle in me, going to squeeze till my guts pop out.
I jerk away, and if by coincidence, into Syaoran Li. He stares.
"Loser." He shakes me off and joins his cool group, and I am in the
shadows again, forgotten.
"He stood you up? You should just break ties with him, Tommie."
Tomoyo's nickname is only to be said by the popular people, as she said:
"You say Tomoyo, they say Tommie."
The bell rings, and I am grateful. I rush off to Language Arts
and bump into Meiling Li, Syaoran's cousin and fiancee'. She seems to be
my only aqauntince, since nobody cares to know the speck of dust that trails
after Tomoyo.
"Hello, Sakura." She says the name briskly, and then walks away, joining
up with her poppie group. Am I the only who'd gone unnoticed? I sigh, and
turn the which ways over to class.
As usual, my math teacher skimps on my name. "Is there anyone
I didn't call?" Well, yeah, I think. I let myself hide. Math class gives
me hives.
The day wore on, and as always, the blackness of Tomoyo's crude
shadow envelopes me as I stay, strictly a sole step behind her. The only
times she turns and talks to me are the times when she criticizes on my
clothing. Criticizes on how I should put my hair into a chopstick ponytail,
and not just a sporty one. Criticizes on how my backpack should be purple,
and not pink. Criticizes...criticizes....and she tells me I am her best
friend.
At the end of the day, only Tomoyo and Chiharu walk me
home. Strictly walk me home. They seem to be talking to each other, and
not me. Am I ugly? I think to myself as I look in the mirror after school.
Sick? A geek? Too wannabe-ish? Too smart? Disgusting? A slave? There are
no answers to these questions. Floating, I call them. Sakura's Floating
Questions. The never answered ones.
Dinnertime at Tomoyo's. I only go here to eat. The food is resplendent-all
the things I like, just for me. Tomoyo has her own platter. There is only
a cucumber and a small vile of Italian dressing. It seems Tomoyo is always
on a diet....I don't think she's fat. Sonomi, her mom, compliments me on
my shirt, but I always know she is thinking the opposite inside-Ew! Yuck!
Where-When-How-Ew-sick-nasty-
I want to die.
