The (Malevolent) Wizard Of Oz
Once upon a time there lived a boy who went by the name of Heero Yuy, and in spite of him being in his mid-teens, he despised all other children and went around muttering incomprehensible sentences in the same monotonous voice all day. He was very fond of spandex shorts, and if anybody ever joked about them going out of fashion many decades beforehand, he shot them with a gun he produced out of the middle of nowhere, and if he really didn't like them, he laughed at the simplicity of their demise. Despite his wish for total solitude, a little bitch often followed him, not a dog, and he called the pathetic creature Relena. She changed her last name when it suited her, just to show she'd alter herself to please him. Whenever he went for a walk, he grimaced at the cries the little pest would make, and it was worse when he said her name to shut her up, for example:
"HEEEEEEERO, where are you going to Heero? Why aren't you talking to me? Come back to me Heero. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"Relena" (he'd reply with a grunt.)
"Heero? What is it Heero? Is something the matter Heero?"
"Hn"
"Heero, hmmmm" (she then shuts her eyes and touches her chest, and when she realises he's no longer in her vision when she opens them, she shouts 'I'M COMING FOR YOU HEERO' before returning to step one.)
Today, we join our not-so-happy little boy walking through a field, looking for something to shoot with his well-concealed weapons, as his daily torture was worse than usual. Today, another pest had chosen to bother him, or more specifically Relena, and it was a girl who had been cursed at an early age. Her name was Dorothy Catalonia, and an evil sprite had placed a nasty hex on her at birth: each time she tried to pluck her eyebrows to look more attractive, they were destined to become drastically darker and resemble wishbones plus they weren't even properly attached to her skin. Her eyebrows took their dark colour by absorbing the black from her pupils, and to add insult to injury, her hair sporadically changed lengths at her whim. She only seemed capable of releasing something along the lines of 'But how wonderful you are, Miss Relena' amidst slurping sounds, and Heero now felt remorseful for all the people he'd shot in his life—he was obviously paying for his actions, and if he wasn't, then he wished he lived in a silent animé. Dorothy met her kindred spirit on their pointless journey after a while, and she rushed forward to greet the woman with strange eyes and even stranger hair—the one and only Sally Po.
"Heero Yuy, what are you doing here?"
"Trying to lose her, what else?" He replied in that steady drone, causing Sally to stifle a yawn as she found his voice abominably high on the sleep-inducing scale. Before she could engage in the lullaby-esque conversation any further, she felt Dorothy touching the bottom of her hair whilst continuing with her mollusc sounds.
"WAIT, DON'T DO THAT…!"
Dorothy realised her mistake too late; the elastic holding Sally's hair in place snapped with a twang, and the results of freedom being granted to any overly tense object is never good for those in its vicinity, this not being any exception to that general rule. Her hair unravelled at an alarming rate, and Dorothy was knocked backwards by the sheer force of the strands of hair hitting her face at full blast. The force of the hair spinning out of control causes the other side to receive liberation, and the power generated by this action causes a miniature tornado. Sally remained in its eye since she was the creator of the abnormal force of nature, but Heero and Relena weren't quite so fortunate; they were sucked into the powerful wind and rotated its epicentre repeatedly as they were raised higher and higher into the stratosphere. Dorothy was the only safe one, if you could say that, as she was just outside of the disastrous diameter, knocked unconscious from the blow to her temple. Unfortunately, Sally's coiffure had extracted a couple of hairs from the teenager's eyebrows in the violent act, and as a direct result the hex had been re-enacted once more. She would not be a happy camper when she woke up, neither would Heero when he landed out of the terrible cyclone; even over the next-to-deafening shrieks of wind, he was still able to hear the irritating cries of the pesky bitch, and it was times like this that he exasperatedly wanted to change his name, just to have her change the record.